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Notre Dame is on fire - looks bad
at 18:17 15 Apr 2019

Not looking hopeful at all now. That's gone up really quickly.
[Post edited 15 Apr 18:53]
A brilliant football yarn to take your mind off it all
at 15:27 14 Apr 2019

One for the old boys this.
Joey Barton back in serious trouble it looks like then
at 17:32 13 Apr 2019

I'd back Lambert in that scenario next season, mainly because he'll have Voldermort to steam in regardless.
Into the abyss we go then
at 16:58 13 Apr 2019

Hope there are plenty of mirrors getting good use at ITFC this next month. Never ever thought I'd live to see this day.

[Post edited 13 Apr 17:18]
Starman 1-1(n/t)
at 16:08 13 Apr 2019

Excitedly needs an edit!
[Post edited 13 Apr 16:09]
Team news - infamy awaits
at 14:00 13 Apr 2019

Surprised not to see Keane. Still harbouring hopes we will sign him, but I wonder if this is more like the side Lambert intends next season in terms of shape and key players.

Birmingham look strong too. If we start nervy we're done for.
[Post edited 13 Apr 14:05]
Bishop on Skuse and next season
at 08:51 12 Apr 2019

You have to wonder beyond a striker if Lambert will be looking for his own Shaun Derry type character to come in.
Reading get a late equaliser 2-2
at 21:43 10 Apr 2019

Talk about conflicted on that going in. The slim hope it knocks Nodge and they go on to bottle this, combined with not having to hear that fcuking 106 chant for a season is a lot to unpack.
To wish impossible things
at 18:49 6 Apr 2019

A game shrouded in doubt, despair and at its beginning, bathed in sunshine. Ipswich returned to their old enemy and fellow relegation favourites Bolton, rooted to the bottom of the league. It was to the same ground with yet another name, we came looking to inflict a positive change on a season already long fated to be a failure.

Carnival atmosphere greeted those who walked through the turnstile late to see voices loud, beer on the floor and spirits sky high. Above ground the songs continued as a flamingo, a penis and balls of varying colours and sizes bounced off joyful blue faces amongst a blitzkrieg of inflatable-based fun. Once enough rubber had been launched into action to give the Vatican cause for concern, the teams came out.

Bart had Emmanuel, Chambers, Collins and Kenlock ahead of him. Skuse sat with Dozzell and Bishop as almost inverted CM’s. Their stronger feet on the inside of the formation’s isosceles engine, to enable them to find Judge on the left and Edwards on the right, as Quaner completed the line-up.

Bolton opted for a flatter 4-5-1 that saw old loanee Callum Connolly in central midfield and Magennis their only outlet up top. It was enough to see town have most of the ball in the opening minutes, but the Trotters most of the chances, if you can call them that at all.
Blue Action were living up to their name as a repertoire of defiance rang out, even if the game wasn’t anything near to their moniker. Dozzell sent away Kenlock with a first reminder of his close control and vision. The full back could only watch his cross beat everyone and go beyond Edwards in a poor recreation of the season’s opener.

As the fans traded renditions proclaiming allegiances “until [they] die” (and then some of our number caveated Bolton’s with an existential jibe “until July) Chambers and Emmanuel in particular, put their bodies on the line.

The young right back spotted the danger superbly to close out the Wanderers on the left for a corner. The second kick of that phase of play fell to Ameobi who was 3 yards out. Had Chambers not been 2.5 yards out and on him like a second shadow, the former Magpie’s backheel might have crashed into the net and not the hoardings via the captain’s boot.

Ipswich were playing nicely within their thirds, but not through them or through Bolton. Skuse might shield a long ball down for Emmanuel to move it on, or Chambers to find Collins but beyond the odd miscontrolled backpass to Bart, those waiting beyond, were kept doing just that.

Collins reads the game like it’s on an autocue and slammed the door shut with more than one great block tackle. But when he’s not averting danger with a strong header or well-timed step forward, he was inadvertently creating it. Wasteful sweeps forward came straight back once too often to be coincidence.

When it was his partner who made a miscalculation in where the ball would drop, Bart was forced to come and aged ex-Canary O’Neil was no better than Luke. His studs and apologues meeting the Poles head with accidental force and the fury of the travelling contingent. It wasn’t malicious, but typical.

Ipswich only swapped wingers briefly in the first half, but it was from out wide any chance might come. Judge tested Matthews at the near post with a neat, but fairly simple drive. Quaner was felled as much by his enthusiasm as the chasing defender when Kenlock lofted a ball into his path and the force of run seemed to snap his hamstring, and send the German skittling and shaking his fingers as the ball cannoned wide.

No penalty, no injury and no convincing us or the ref, of a chance to take the lead. It would be several minutes later before the on-loan Terrier would change that. A thwarted corner after Bishop, Kenlock and Judge overplayed their hand down the left, and was sent out on the other side for the set piece. The ball again was repelled before coming to Chambers on the wing. With a cross so good it was literally unbelievable to have come from the captain. Jumping in stages, the German extended his neck and then his forehead to take the acclaim from the other end of the field. The ball bounced low and into the corner to put Ipswich in the lead.

Bolton and their fans seemed more shocked than we were and both wingers got into the box, but not into a position to score. Bart looking solid after his head injury then saw his elderly attacker replaced by Jay from the Inbetweeners. The change was stark.

Whilst the youngster injected a bit of spunk into their play, it was the Blues who got their blood up again. Dozzell and Quaner interchanged down the left side, crossing the halfway line of today’s temple of doom, momentum slowly built, and possession stayed with Town. Kenlock played it crisply into the German who turned as powered by the breeze and like a slow-motion Murphy slammed his second across Matthews’ and beyond any dive the keeper could make. Eruptions in the away end. Then our redemption song.

Both sides emerged from the tunnel still huffing in clouds of disbelief. It was therefore little surprise to see Bolton really come at us from the kick off. A sweeping counter attack saw Buckley again fire wide when he should have worked Bart. It produced audible derision and disgust from relative corners of the ground.

Ipswich meanwhile had little reason to keep things anything other than steady. Bishop perhaps struggled to make much headway in either half. It was no surprise to see him dispossessed and crowded out, as Edwards and Judge swapped permanently, and the usual options disappeared with it.

It was barely past the hour mark when Bishop went off for fellow youth player Downes and the midfield changed a little. With it the game remained a mixture of turgid long balls hoping to set away either striker or bamboozle any of the centre backs.

Bolton had a scare when big Collin dropped his centre of gravity just a little. Sent way down the right he got close to the line, and found the foot but not the connection of Judge. The Irishman wafted what needed to be batted into the net, and it fell all the way through to their right-back who was relieved to give away a corner.

Downes was unlucky when his header looked like he’d met one of the many beach balls rather than the match ball. Skuse sent a cross that just sat up a yard too long, or the substitute was just a yard too close to steer it anywhere but upwards and off target.

Chambers went off for treatment after a brace of blocking shots with his face. Parkinson moved Connolly to left back to bring on the tiny Oztumer. The former Wallsall magician conjured up a volley through a crowded box. Bart needed two attempts to smother it, but any chance of the game catching light was put out. You could tell despite the fun and accepting tone either side of the stewards, this was rock bottom versus a club in utter turmoil.

Ipswich brought on Jackson in the later stages for Edwards. Instead of removing Quaner from the slim chance of a hat-trick, the former competition winner took up position on the left wing. Lambert perhaps spotting that when Edwards nutmegged his man, and charged forward, and then Kenlock did the same there was room to exploit on that side.
The Welshman walked off to an ovation. His highlight reel moment perhaps being early in the half when he looped a ball over his man near our corner flag and ran away with it, waiting to be felled for a cheap free kick.

Such trickery was a welcome distraction, and the unknown pleasures of watching Judge demand the ball and reparations from a linesman who was flagging against him in every close call, was the only thing to really eclipse it. André again showed good close control and vision to send him away on the turn and touch in a move that deserved more than a scrambling stuttering halt from the players and referee.

Chalobah entered the fray for the #23 who was clutching his bum as he walked towards his manager. Whether for fun or relief, it perhaps meant nothing more than his race being run. With the game all but over, it wouldn’t be Ipswich if all the good things we’d done could be stained with calamity.

Skuse opted not to take a mandatory card as Oztumer greeted him with the ball and an eye for goal after Downes sold his colleague short. Town let Bolton continue down the right and tried to see them out. But the cross was uncharacteristically well placed. Confusion reigned and as the ball was scrambled out of the goalmouth the referee took a second to decide it had crossed the line.

The four minutes of injury time was all but elapsed, but it was a long thirty seconds until the end. Paul Lambert joined his players near the touchline in saluting us. A raised hand from the dugout throughout the game greeted every song directed his way, now came up close. His sweater a contrast to the track tops and sweat-soaked polyester of his men as Chambers’ rare victory fist beat out a few cheers.

If this was a dress rehearsal for League 1 next season, it’s hard to pick too many faults with the team today. Emamnuel alongside Chambers acquitted himself well, and the rest of the academy boys were guided or beguiling enough to warrant further patience. However, as a few Bolton fans clapped us and said “fair play lads” as they passed the away end, you could be forgiven for hearing the diddling of an organ in your head. Compared to them, perhaps we really don’t have to worry too much?
25 years since Kurt Cobain died
at 15:53 5 Apr 2019

Think this is probably my favourite if I had to pick one.

Being a bit disgusted by Spurs' new bowl and sympathising with Notlob
at 21:43 4 Apr 2019

It's been a weird season, tacitly supporting Leeds, hoping Reading stay up, seeing us utterly dismantled and having fortune eat us ass first while we're still screaming like a we're a deer being mauled by bear, but I look at the fireworks and the hype this week around not White Hart Lane or whatever it is, and it seems such a sickening juxtaposition with our old enemy nearly going bang yesterday.

I've seen a few Bolton fans say their support has been overtaken by a bunch of dickhead young lads that just turn up to play the Fisher Price Green Street fantasy out and ruin games, and all while their previous owner is making ours look positively saintly.

Given they've won more games than us, it's not only baffling to feel they don't deserve this all but slightly concerning where they're heading. I wouldn't be surprised to see them end up another Charlton et al.

Meanwhile Spurs seem to be playing at some NFL themed Lakeside hybrid and it's being heralded as the eighth wonder of the world. All while they've had the run of Wembley whilst someone like Coventry are scratching around most of the season wondering if they'll have the Ricoh or not.

Has football been this sick for a long time and it's only just reached us at Ipswich? Or is there a sense of the bubble rapidly inflating this season?
at 20:26 1 Apr 2019

Gardeners of TWTD - I didn't get the green fingers in the family
at 09:44 31 Mar 2019

My garden was an utter state when I got the place. 5 years on, it's slipping back again. Any advice on the following?

Easy plants to grow, veg and herbs especially that we can feed the little man. I'm going to dig a couple of beds this Easter and see what I can cultivate this year. Suttons seem to sell stuff based on what to sow each month which is quite handy.

Mare's tail. Next door's is an uncared for bomb site. They nearly burnt down our house and their's because the 3 foot high brambles went up in the summer thanks to their decision to have a bin fire when everything was bone dry.

After the scorched earth, they've got some grass back but the last three years our lawns, (especially out front) has been infested with the stuff as has theirs. Any tips on stopping it coming back? I want to put some hedging out front, grass it and maybe a nice tree, but since having it all redone it's just reduced to weeds and moss out there because of this stuff.

We've redone the patio but there's a 2 foot patch of mud and stuff at the end of it full of weeds, decorative gravel and all sorts. I plan to turn over and cover with compost/top soil today. The plan is to stick a load of hedging there to break up the garden a bit - any decent stuff to put there in the autumn?

Also for some plants is it better to get windowsill propagators or buy a mini plastic greenhouse for the patio? Or am I talking different things here?

I thought gardening was fairly simple, but googling suggests if one person says black another says white in answer to almost every question. My butts are all fine by the way, I just need to re erect them after a recent storm.
"As long as the club wants me here next season..... whoever is here"
at 19:38 30 Mar 2019

Pretty sure that a few things may have got lost in the Scottish drawl here and blown out of proportion.

Sounded like Lambert was entertaining Wooley's question about his record and the summer meaning he should be sacked. Not that it was imminent at all.

Felt more like a touch of José in tone to me, than anything else. Lambert may as well have said "Be careful what you wish for" and spent the night chuckling into his whiskey.
Team News Jackson starts
at 14:00 30 Mar 2019

Bloody Hull.

[Post edited 30 Mar 14:01]
There is a lot to unpack here
at 21:29 19 Mar 2019

Sounds like we've been scouting Scotland (not Jason the northern bit of Britain)
at 20:20 16 Mar 2019

Striker too so seems possible. Obligatory youtube video with a soundtrack that sounds like Rick Wakeman knocking one out and forgetting to press the stop button.

Stroud got a lot wrong for both sides
at 17:39 16 Mar 2019

However, what was his problem with our goal? He didn't even seem to indicate a decision correctly.

Likewise to not give that penalty after Villa is criminal.

The biggest problem is he isn't one kind of referee or the other. He's not officious, he doesn't wave play on every time, he reacts to crowds, he never seems to place himself in the right spot and only defers to linesmen when he's caught behind play or the decision is a small one.
Goal here 1-0 Quaner
at 15:12 16 Mar 2019

Team News Bree back and Mizouni on the bench again
at 14:00 16 Mar 2019

Forest here.

Murphy and Colback start. Looks like a slightly rotated team that, (HfB?) and one that's surprisingly defensive given it's us they're playing. Wonder if O'Neil didn't like what he saw Tuesday?
[Post edited 16 Mar 14:03]
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