 | Forum
Reply | The hardest thing I have ever had to write
at 22:25 15 Apr 2024
Hi there
As others have said - good on you for having the strength to write this and the self-awareness to know that things shouldn't be this way for you.
I wish I could give you a "magic bullet" solution, I really could.
However, all I would say is - try and become your own best friend.
What I mean by that, is imagine a close friend was coming to you with the issues you've raised.
What would be your advice to them ? More importantly, how would you be feeling towards them ?
You wouldn't be judging them, you'd listen, you'd be kind, you'd also be telling them that they had worth.
Likewise if you, the adult you, met the child you, you would comfort that child. You wouldn't judge them - they're a kid. That kid deserved adults who gave him unconditional love. All kids deserve that.
Learn - and it's not easy, I know - to love yourself. To value yourself. Yes, it's a long journey. Yes, professional help is probably required but - try, please, to be the best friend to yourself whom you miss, and the father you wish you'd had.
I look at myself in the mirror, and say, "you're a tw_t but I love you".
You ain't rubbish, and hopefully deep down inside you know you're worth saving, hence your courage in making this post.
Please, and I mean it, feel free to DM me. I spend most of my life on the PC, if I can help at any time, I'm here for you.
And - it goes without saying - if these thoughts get too much, call the Samaritans or similar. However you feel about yourself, there will be plenty of people whose lives would be ruined if you weren't around any more.
All the best. |
| Forum
Reply | Nerves just kicked in for Sat
at 22:21 3 Apr 2024
Look, ladies and gents, we are currently top of the league AND top of the form table.
FFS, we don't want to be complacent, but we are literally the best team in this division right now.
Have some faith. |
| Forum
Thread | Long shot - any ITFC fans in Des Moines (Iowa) ?
at 09:08 11 Oct 2023
A colleague and I are in Des Moines next week for business and want to see Friday's game there. It's on ESPN+ which is a streaming service not broadcast. Would love to meet up with any Town fans there - or at least find out which sports bars might have that channel, as Google isn't helping....ta. |
| Forum
Reply | McKenna
at 22:38 3 Oct 2023
McKenna seems to be an astute man. He's worked with some of the greats. He'll know that managing at the top level comes with many downsides. He's currently in a "once in a lifetime" situation, managing a club who are at the heights of the form table for this year in Europe; having the complete backing from the owners and the fans.
I imagine his income has probably gone up tenfold in the last 5 years.
I'm sure he would want to be managing ManUre. For that, he's looking at (at best) being the manager-after-next, or even the one after that.
For him to reach those heights, he has to take us up, and keep us up, and probably get us in Europe.
And just maybe - when he's got us that far, but his wife and kids are settled here - he's going to think - is the extra money worth it at this time in my life, when I've got a young family ? All the stress and the pressure being at the very heights would cost ?
Or maybe he'll be here until the kids are older, better able to cope with all that a move up the M1 would bring.
That's my hope. He comes across as a thoughtful individual. He's at the very start of his career, another 30 years left if he wants them. Why rush things ? Why not take ITFC as far as he possibly can ?
One can but dream... |
| Forum
Reply | Laptop recommendations please!
at 14:43 3 Jul 2023
I'd really look to get something from eBay that's second hand.
There are a load of sellers on there who have a business in refurbing laptops that come with a warranty. |
| Forum
Reply | Been watching/reading a lot on psilocybin therapy lately
at 21:43 12 Jun 2023
Mushrooms are wonderful. Personally, I think everyone should try them once in their lives.
I view them as something "sacramental", i.e. you don't take them for "recreation" (although you can), you take them to get in touch with yourself, and if that sounds like hippy nonsense, so be it. Amsterdam ain't the place to be taking them, you can find, I believe, plenty of suppliers on Insta or similar, no need for the dark web.
One of the worst things New Labour did was make them illegal.
The fact that they promote mental well-being does not surprise me. My life changed when I took them, not drastically, but the memory lingers.
The best analogy I can make is it is like looking a life on an old CRT monitor, then seeing things in 4K UHD on an OLED screen.
For the avoidance of doubt, I'm a grandfather in my mid-50s with a proper job and a piece of paper somewhere to say I'm normal*
The fact that cannabis and mushrooms are illegal is scandalous.
*that bit might be made up. |
| Forum
Reply | House-buying advice, please
at 22:29 16 May 2023
If a semi-detached (or do you mean end-terraced) house which is on a larger plot / already has a garage is the same price as a smaller one, then either it's under priced or the terraced house is over priced.
If it's the former, then you may find the price could go up. If you go in quick with an offer on the "new" place, and others do likewise, then the sellers would be silly not to ask for higher offers. Being no-chain will help you, but it's something to bear in mind.
What you also don't know (yet) is whether there is a chain on the "new" property. If you're renting at the moment, that could add to your costs if the chain takes a long time to complete.
Yes, you have to put your needs first. However you've got to find out a few more things about the "new" place before you'll be in full possession of the facts, and it's whether you can do that before exchanging that's the issue. Best of luck. |
| Forum
Reply | McKenna interview in the Guardian
at 09:30 14 May 2023
It's funny, McK is almost the "perfect" manager if you were creating one from scratch.
Ambitious, yet humble. Experienced, yet young. Has worked at the highest levels, yet came to Ipswich having to prove himself in a new role.
I urge everyone to read that interview, it shows (not that it needs showing) what a lovely yet determined man he is.
My hope is that he is only after one job - at Man U. And he will only go to that after having got us comfortably into the top half of the Prem.
However, there is still a hope that he's so grounded, he's going to ask himself if he wants that sort of spotlight on himself and whether he needs the extra money and stress. Sounds like his family is young, if they settle here who knows he could wait a dozen years and take it on when they leave home.
I so hope we have him here for the long term. |
| Forum
Reply | Support for the monarchy
at 09:07 22 Apr 2023
I firmly believe that the media is a reflector, not a director. They print the stories they know their readership want to read.
In 20-30 year's time their readership will have changed - the Boomers will be pretty much dead, my generation (X) are mostly less invested in the monarchy, I don't see a Republic in my lifetime, however a more European-style monarchy where the non "ruling" members of the family get less press coverage and the monarch themselves is less visible is the way things should go.
What this country needs more is constitutional change. Break the link between Church and State, get rid of prelates in the House of Lords, State opening of parliament, all that archaic nonsense.
Oh, and the Royals should be properly taxed, of course. |
| Forum
Reply | Indifference to the World Cup....
at 14:25 25 Oct 2022
Good point. Yes, but:
- Russia has a history of involvement with football (unlike Qatar);
- doesn't have Sharia law. So it only persecutes some of its citizens, not 50% of them. |
| Forum
Reply | Indifference to the World Cup....
at 13:28 25 Oct 2022
Normally, on the morning of England's first game in the WC or Euros, I'll put on (very loudly) both "World in Motion" and of course "Three Lions" and have a little cry - born in 67 I missed our last victory, and with every year the chance of seeing another one diminishes.
This year, I won't be doing that. I won't watch, even if we get to the finals.
Once everything about FIFA was known and proved, the WC should have gone elsewhere. It's been held in a country that has zero interest in the game, other than just to "regime wash" their feudal dictatorship. This is a country partly under Sharia law, where political parties and trade unions are illegal and people receive 100 strokes of the lash for adultery.
It should never have been awarded, the traditional dates for the WC should never have been moved, and by going there, every team including England is propping up a state where half the population - women - are treated as second-class citizens.
It's an individual decision, it's my decision, but this WC doesn't exist for me. |
| Forum
Reply | Genuine, honest question - should I get a flu / Covid booster ?
at 09:34 13 Oct 2022
Thanks for the time in writing that post, really helpful.
I didn't think about "long Covid" but there again (genuine question) are we seeing Omicron, which I presume has been for 12 months the dominant strain) causing long Covid ?
Your post has 90% convinced me that I should get the jabs...so thanks again... |
| Forum
Thread | Genuine, honest question - should I get a flu / Covid booster ?
at 08:54 13 Oct 2022
Firstly, I'm not interested n the opinions of anti-vaxxers / people who believe this is somehow part of the "great reset" or any of that nonsense.
I've been offered the flu / Covid booster as I'm over 50. Mid fifties, "rude" good health (fat bar steward who can walk at a very brisk pace for >90 minutes without stopping despite being a smoker).
Had Covid in June, was fairly mild (i.e. didn't keep me in bed).
Had the flu jab for the first time last year, then in November the Moderna booster which really laid me out. Then had dreadful breathing issues (yes, correlation isn't causation) for the next 2 months, only went when I went to Thailand. Had some strange flu (definitely wasn't Covid, I tested) a month ago.
I want to be a "responsible citizen" but given I've had both Covid and the flu in the last 6 months, plus the nasty effects of the 3rd jab I had 11 months ago - is putting more stuff in my body a good idea or not ? I genuinely don't know...would love some SENSIBLE advice from you good people - many thanks. |
| Forum
Reply | unfit and fat - advice needed
at 18:04 10 Oct 2022
Keto diet for the win. Just stop eating carbs.
Exercise - 45 minutes brisk walk each day will do it. |
| Forum
Reply | Euthanasia
at 12:35 15 Sep 2022
Yes, but hence my suggestion of this being a pro-active choice one makes at 60, when one is hopefully not so "elderly".
The other advantage of making that choice after one has had a "full MOT" and been told statistically what one's prospects are, is that it might also encourage pro-active lifestyle changes to mitigate against identified risks. Too much healthcare at present is reactive, when it's too late. Prevention is always better than cure... |
| Forum
Reply | Euthanasia
at 10:15 15 Sep 2022
Two points:
a) it's quite possible unless you are completely incapacitated to "press the button" yourself. i.e. get a canula put in, linked up to whatever solution gets injected, like a morphine pump. Press the button once.
"You have made the decision to take your own life. If you wish to proceed, press the button twice."
"A lethal injection will now be administered in five minutes time. If you wish to stop this at any time, press the button"
"You are now going to have a lethal injection. Press the button three times in order to proceed."
Fingerprint tech could be used to make sure the person pressing the button is the person who's going to die.
b) Living wills etc are great, but in many cases there isn't time before life-saving interventions need to happen / medical staff are too worried about being sued by the family that they don't come into effect.
Also withdrawal of treatment generally means a long-drawn out death, if you're lucky you're out of it on morphine, but that level of sedation only applied when the stage of agony has been reached and breached. Where's the Brompton cocktail when you need it, eh ? |
| Forum
Reply | Euthanasia
at 08:32 15 Sep 2022
Serious reply:
It's not just euthanasia, it's the whole "how we die / spend our last years" issue.
Ask anyone and I think they would say that:
- they wouldn't want to burden those around them;
- they wouldn't want to live with seriously debilitating physical or mental health issues that weren't going to get better;
- they wouldn't want to go into a "home";
- they wouldn't want to die in hospital;
- they wouldn't want to carry on if they no longer recognised their nearest and dearest;
- they wouldn't want a long-drawn out death
and yet if someone dies, after a long life, without any of the above happening to them, we'd say they were lucky.
There are two issues here as I see it:
- agency over oneself;
- a reactive, rather than proactive, approach.
Ideally, you get to 60, get a full MOT from the quack, examine family history, be told roughly what your odds are and what is likely to get you, then lay down what your "minimum viable standards are". Have that witnessed, tell your family / friends what your decision is. Review every 5 years. Make it clear that if you are incapacitated, your most recent "living will" stands.
When the minimum standards you set have been breached, if you're capable of making a decision, decide. If you're not capable, the decision has already been made - by you.
Quick, painless, injection.
The current way most people die / live out their last years is dreadful, inhumane, and causes suffering not just to the person but those around them. |
| Forum
Reply | It's What She Would Have Wanted part 767685443453453
at 07:14 14 Sep 2022
The "optics" on this are incredibly bad. The same day we find out that C3 isn't paying inheritance tax, this happens.
There are also the "incidents of the ink well" to consider...
The late Queen was deliberately a blank cipher whose real opinions none of us knew. We're constantly being told now by people like Gyles Brandreth how funny she was, fact is, we'll never know, and that was the "skill" she had - be the empty vessel upon which we could all cast our visions of what we wanted a Monarch to be.
C3 on the other hand has spent most of his adult life making sure we're aware of his opinions, and yes, some of those views have worth, but when you see someone furiously gesturing to move an object six inches across a table when he could have done it himself, you see a man used to getting what he wants, when he wants it, without much in the way of humility or self-awareness. And a defence of "well, his Mum's just died" doesn't cut it - the whole point of the Queen was that she put aside her own feelings to do the job she literally felt appointed by God to do. C3 seems unlikely to either share that belief or that ability to supress the self in order to play the role.
And he's only going to get worse with age.
My prediction is that if he lasts more than five years on the throne, the damage he will do the monarchy could be irreparable...but maybe that isn't such a bad thing... |
| Forum
Reply | What kind of King and royal family would you now like to see?
at 17:30 13 Sep 2022
I think it is possible to keep a monarchy and yet it not occupy centre stage. Holland and Denmark great examples of this. I was in Demark last weekend, it was the Queen's 50th jubilee but you couldn't tell that. Danes I spoke to spoke of how their Queen was a "real person", who did real jobs and had real talents.
Firstly we have to tie the bond between Church and State. Other than Iran (!) no other countries put unelected clerics in the legislature. C3 is obviously no god-botherer, now's the time to cut that cord.
Buckingham Palace becomes their own home. Big enough for all of them. Windsor, Sandringham, Balmoral go back to the people.
Only heirs are Royals. Spares have to go and get work like the rest of us.
No State opening of Parliament. Royal Assent is meaningless, we don't need it any more.
Let them fade into the background. And pay their &*& taxes ! |
| | fab_lover
|
Site Scores| Forum Votes: | 145 | | Comment Votes: | 0 | | Prediction League: | 0 | | TOTAL: | 145 |
|
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.