| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) 18:51 - Feb 12 with 2156 views | Warkystache |
Strange days have found us. A few hours of respite from ongoing fall-outs. I spend them walking on my lonesome, the winter scenery of the Dedham Vale, the trees still bare, foreboding. The gloom and the milky light spilling over the vales to the village of Stoke-by-Nayland, the single wreath of smoke alighting from a distant farmhouse. The ground was wet and gave with each step, as though I'd discovered walkable play dough. I bought a pair of respectably clean trainers for the pub and then changed again and walked back to the car, the single pint of good ale slopping gloops in my bowels with each step.
Many people like me, albeit somewhat older and better dressed, trudged the mud and the long grasses and skirted the slopes and were followed by their labradoodles or border collies who stopped to sniff grassy edges and then cocked legs. We all ended up at the Crown. Many, and I was one, stayed for lunch. There's something about a walk that makes you feel you've earned a bite. The pastry on my steak pie was crusty yet melted in the mouth. The insides were all tender beef and a good, savoury gravy. The odd lamb kidney added texture and earthiness.
The feeling of well-being lasted until I drained the coffee cup and left the obligatory hand-made petit four, a biscuit of buttery-looking crisp which nonetheless didn't really add anything after the pie. I headed back out into a fading light and wondered how many calls I'd missed on my deliberately forgotten mobile. I've been getting a few calls lately. Mostly Paula, moaning about money and her lack of it.
Ah Paula. Yes. Considerably an ex-fiancee now. She lives in Dovercourt with her sister at present, but it's an ill wind that blows her way and the travelling she 'has to do' down to her store in Maldon is causing a whole new seam of contention. She wants to rent somewhere nearer. She found a place but the rent was £1100 per month. She earns just a few hundred more after tax and NI and pension. So she asked if I'd pay the deposit for one month of £1400 and then three months rent. "Just so I can save enough for the rest". My bank manager would've winced had he been present. I suspect he'd have silently shaken his head like one of those nodding dogs in a badly sprung Capri driving on farmland.
Truth is, I have the money, but it would wipe out any residual savings I have in my building society account; savings I'd have liked to spend on other things. As much as I don't like to see her struggle, I do wonder exactly why I need to help her to that extent. We weren't married. I've already cancelled that date this year. The vicar seemed content to strike our names from his book. He even gave me tea. We discussed his local food bank and I made a small monetary contribution as a gesture of goodwill.
So she rings and rings. Mostly, we argue a bit. Or she does. It all starts conciliatory enough and then, like my ex-wife, who she reminds me of more and more, she gets down to business and asks if I can release equity in the house and give her £15k, then proceeds to lesser amounts the more determinedly negative my answers become. Then we end agreeing nothing and she rings off and then rings back later as other money-raising schemes occur to her or her sister. These have included a one-off loan of £20k to her, repayable at a rate she can afford (which is minimal) to 'get her out of my hair'. I relented last week when she said she couldn't afford her share of the rates at her sister's place and gave her £200. She never thanked me for it either.
The football was a decent break yesterday. I sat in the Sir Alf, used the ticket I bought for Terry, left my season ticket at home by mistake. My friend, the rugby fan, had a change of heart and made some excuse. He met me in the pub later and we had a few.
When we went 2-0 down, a few Town fans in Sir Alf muttered and then walked out. It seemed bizarre. Even in the doldrums of SBRL section 5 I've never seen that. I thought it was a bloody good game, although we don't half make things difficult for ourselves. We should've scored again in the second half, and 2-2 felt unsatisfactory. Oh well.
Terry was in Braintree, of course. We met on Thursday night as I took Friday off because I've accumulated too much leave and need to 'spend' five more days before April. So long weekends seem to be the norm for March home games. Tel knows about Paula and I, and, as much as I suspect he'd like to say more, he keeps out of it as resolutely as he knows how. The only references he makes are how it's a shame and how Mrs Tel thinks "Issa shame'n'all, real cut up she was. Still, yer knar yew can't do nuffink wrong in 'er eyes". This was said with a bon mot that cheered me vaguely.
They've had a bit of interest in the bungalow; nothing concrete yet, but Tel played it up nonetheless. "Reckon we'll be sold by March" he announced over our first pints after I'd asked. Mrs Tel is busy on Zoopla looking. "New 'obby" said Tel, as bothered as if he'd just mentioned the woman at the bar had bought a half. We changed subject often, not finding the common ground we'd once both shared as easily as before. Then the drink started to bite and we were back to the good ole days.
The meal at the Indian was, astonishingly, the best yet. We laughed and joked and shared confidences and he asked me about Paula and I told him, only withholding the most private bits, and he listened and nodded and then hugged me, his beery breath and stubble tight against my cheek as he said "Thank gawd yer Ok mate" and it was as though we'd never been away. You know those rooms they preserve in Stately Homes that look just as they did 200 years ago? It felt like that.
And as we left the restaurant, him picking his teeth with the edge of a takeaway menu and me lighting a ciggie in the car park, he said "It'll never be the same again, life sort'a. But thass wot makes it fun innit?" and he nudged my shoulder with a soft punch and then Mrs Tel arrived in their car and we hugged and I spent the journey home and around 20 minutes on the drive telling her about Paula, where it all went wrong. Or had it? Was it me all along? I dunno.
Mrs Tel listened and then smiled as I asked the last three questions and then said "Nah kid, weren't jus' your fault". Then she said she'd noticed Paula was more interested in the material life I could offer, more so than any "ackchul relationship". I never noticed that. It's only now I realise all she really wants is a decent wedge of folding. "Thass all she ever wanted, I reckon" said Mrs Tel. "Remember, I spoke to 'er alone when yer bofe came over ours. I knoo then it'd end this way. You were bound ter see it before long". Then she blew a kiss and they left and I stood waving at them as their car sped round my avenue and away. And those tears in my eyes were probably the cold. Probably.
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 19:56 - Feb 12 with 1935 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
Miss Slave who likes to see the best in people won't have it!!
Me, I'm a bit of a cynic.
Junior.....let's not go there!
Ps....lovely piece of writing though. Get Tel over for an ifollow Valentine's night. [Post edited 12 Feb 2023 19:57]
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 21:27 - Feb 12 with 1738 views | Sharkey |
Enjoy the views of Dedham Vale while you can, before it becomes just caged orchards. |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:14 - Feb 12 with 1614 views | runaround |
Keep battling on mate |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:17 - Feb 12 with 1617 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 19:56 - Feb 12 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Miss Slave who likes to see the best in people won't have it!!
Me, I'm a bit of a cynic.
Junior.....let's not go there!
Ps....lovely piece of writing though. Get Tel over for an ifollow Valentine's night. [Post edited 12 Feb 2023 19:57]
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My mum won't have it either. Both she and my dad loved Paula. My mum now treats me like it's all my fault but somehow I'm blood and kin so she can't tell me that. So I get the odd looks and the tight-lipped raised eyebrows. | |
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:19 - Feb 12 with 1605 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 21:27 - Feb 12 by Sharkey |
Enjoy the views of Dedham Vale while you can, before it becomes just caged orchards. |
Yep - it'll happen with that bloody farm think PepsiCo used to own. Another area of natural beauty destroyed for profit. | |
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:20 - Feb 12 with 1597 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:14 - Feb 12 by runaround |
Keep battling on mate |
Battling mate! All I can do. | |
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 23:06 - Feb 12 with 1482 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:17 - Feb 12 by Warkystache |
My mum won't have it either. Both she and my dad loved Paula. My mum now treats me like it's all my fault but somehow I'm blood and kin so she can't tell me that. So I get the odd looks and the tight-lipped raised eyebrows. |
Killer! | |
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 23:08 - Feb 12 with 1478 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 22:19 - Feb 12 by Warkystache |
Yep - it'll happen with that bloody farm think PepsiCo used to own. Another area of natural beauty destroyed for profit. |
Would that be on the route of the walk I did? | |
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 18:59 - Feb 13 with 1104 views | Iwasthere |
Great reading for us but heart felt from you.
I am getting on in years and have probably gone through many of your emotions.
My sincere advice to you is commitment. Whether it is taking a new job, having a mortgage, getting hitched, having children or, instead, being free to do what you want when you want to.
It appears to me that Paula knows that time is not on her side to have a child and security, you can provide that for her. Your parents want their son to be settled and be looked after. In their eyes Paula was just that person.
Being selfish is not a sin but committing to something that you are not 100% sure of is. Life is full of compromise and the older we get, the more set in our ways we become, the harder it may be to compromise.
If you are not fully committed the consequences can be dire.
You are a good person and my best wishes go with you. |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 04:58 - Feb 14 with 933 views | The_Romford_Blue |
I really am going to miss Tel in these reports. Even if it’s just for our sakes Warky, please ring him at least once a week so we can remain updated about his life. He’s one of my favourite posters on TWTD and he doesn’t even post! |  |
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| The Warky Report: Sheffield Wednesday (H) on 10:10 - Feb 14 with 731 views | witchdoctor |
you’ll be ok mate…like guy further up said…sometimes it’s not selfish to put yourself first…👠|  | | |
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