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The ref cost us two points by giving them a penalty that wasn't a penalty in the last minute of stoppage time. Yes if we'd been winning by more goals it wouldn't have mattered and we can all pick the bones out of what was a very poor first half and very poor last 5 minutes (though they didn't exactly threaten in that time) but if the ref does his job then we come away with three points instead of one. People seem to think that if you blame the ref you're excusing the players but it is possible to think that both (a) we were absolute shit in the first half and didn't manage the game well and (b) despite that we would have held out and won the game if the ref showed basic competence. Suggesting the ref doesn't beer any responsibility for the result is just as daft as saying the players don't, and I've not seen anyone claiming the players managed the end of the game well or played well first half.
You're absolutely right on both counts and we've suffered badly from incompetent refereeing in consecutive games. However, unlike the Leicester game, we had the lead last night and we would have won if one of the players had simply cleared the ball at the end. I'm much more critical of the team for that (particularly after having come back from 2-0 down) than anything that happened against Leicester.