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Matt Fitzpatrick wins the US Open
at 23:54 19 Jun 2022

Nice way to start the new week!
Quelle surprise Rodney - Novak Djokovic: Doubts over timing of Covid test
at 09:53 28 Jan 2022

This post has been edited by an administrator
I am in awe of this man...
at 13:08 23 Nov 2021
New username
at 10:12 10 Nov 2021

...required, now that the pock faced pygmy has finally left the in-breds.

I am (ahem) leaning towards Cook&Balls, or similar, as a nod to the gobbledygook that our esteemed leader is prone to come up with in his post-match analyses. But, open to suggestions.

A cyber pint for the best one.
Apparently Lucan is alive and well and living in Droitwich!
at 09:42 29 Sep 2021

Had a bad experience at last night's game, despite the 6-0. To begin with, I was just getting ready to stretch out for the 90 minutes, when this old timer is carried in by another and unceremoniously dumped on the (normally) spare seat on my left. Worse was to follow. I made the mistake of grunting a quick "hello" to him - wish I hadn't. All the way throughout the game, would the fecker shut up? Would he hell! So much so that I missed all of the goals.

But the worst was I kept finding him eyeing me up. Staring at me regularly and I'm sure he winked on one occasion. Made me feel quite self-conscious. Eventually he made some remark about my clothes. I mouthed "Millets", but I don't think he heard me.

I think he must be a bit deaf. Towards the end of the game, he asks for my name, and when I reply "Pete", he starts shouting "Beat", over and over. Quite embarrassing really, I hadn't the heart to tell him that our GOAT sadly departed a few years ago.

He calmed down eventually and told me his name is LUCAN. Funny that, I could swear it's commonly thought that fecker drowned at sea many years ago!

Ah well, let's hope he doesn't take up my spare seat next game. I need it to catch up with some sleep!
hybrid cars
at 09:49 17 Sep 2021

An appeal to the TWTD expert knowledge-bank!

Mrs F is looking to buy a hybrid car, probably second-hand, 2 or 3 years old. Mainly for urban driving - usually no more than the 6 miles journey to the car park in town and back again at the end of the day. Very occasionally, she might do a longer journey. She wants a small family car, but with 4 doors and, ideally, with a boot large enough for my daughter's fold-down bike. She currently has a (non-hybrid) Vauxhall Meriva (which is having to be scrapped) and something that size would be ideal.

This will be our first venture into electric/hybrid market and have done some research - it's a bloody nightmare! We plan to visit some local dealerships on Monday to get a few ideas, but any suggestions, good or bad, would be very welcome, if only to pinpoint which dealers we should visit. Has anybody got or had a small hybrid car that they could recommend, or tell us to avoid?
Reduced football parking!
at 09:07 21 Jan 2020

cricket highlights up
at 19:51 25 Aug 2019

My favourite moment has to be Boycott ejaculating at the reverse sweep on 31 seconds.
My new Saturday regime next season
at 10:04 9 May 2019

Tuesday night had a long drive and listened to the second half of the Liverpool game in the car. Last night, did the return journey and so listened to the second half of the Spurs match.

I have told Mrs F that from next season, I will be leaving all ITFC games at half time to drive home with the radio on. If I don't attend a match, then I will need to leave the house and go for a drive at 3.45pm.

Not that I'm superstitious like...
It's definitely moving!
at 21:20 17 Oct 2018
oven travails
at 13:29 15 Oct 2018

Having waited in all morning for Mr Hotpoint, we have gone from a workable oven showing an error code to an unworkable oven showing a different error code. It's been marked urgent, but he couldn't tell me when because "our system is down".

Can't wait to tell Mrs F about it tonight!

How on earth is she going to cook my tea without an oven?

3 draws and unbeaten in the last 3 games
at 17:37 29 Sep 2018

Who would have preferred 1 win and 2 losses?
Thoughts about PH
at 14:45 2 Aug 2018

Refreshing that he received questions without you thinking he could spit the dummy at any moment, and answered them openly.

Looked nervous and excited in equal measures. Also perhaps in need of a decent night's sleep. That said, my most depressing thought is how old and dishevelled I look in comparison. He's only a few years younger than me!
Office floor plan software
at 17:23 29 Jul 2018

Any suggestions for an intuitive and cheap (preferably free) app that will help me create a floor layout plan for my wife's office? Showing size and position of furniture etc within each room. To give to builders to help with internal renovations and probably adapt for IT Engineer and electrician too.

Needs to be PC. The results don't need to be too fancy - ease of use is more important. I used MS Visio many years ago, which I found very easy, however I've just found out this isn't included in my Office 365 subscription and the cost is prohibitive for what will be a one-off job.

Any sensible suggestions will be gratefully received.
It's the flag!
at 13:31 20 Jun 2018

OK, I'll preface this post by saying that I'm not superstitious (at least, I thought I wasn't).

Junior F (aged 6) has really got into the world cup. Kit, sticker book, wall-chart, questions every 5 minutes, etc. I also bought him a St George flag.

We watched the game against Tunisia together. He matched me for celebrating our first goal and general over-excitement during the next 10-15 minutes or so. He even thought it was hilarious when I shouted out "put your f-shooting boots on Lingard" (I managed to contain the swear to a single "f" - I still don't know how I achieved that).

I then remembered the flag. "Shall we hang it up, my boy?" And we did. Proudly.

I swear it was from that moment that the performance tailed off. Certainly, I don't recall another clear-cut chance.

Second half and I could sense Junior's increasing boredom. I tried to explain this is how it is watching England etc. Then, suddenly one half of the flag slipped off the wall. Frankly I couldn't be arsed to move and Junior didn't seem to notice. Next minute, Loftus-Cheek came on and the performance improved almost immediately.

Then, and this is the reason for the post, the other half fell from the wall, leaving the flag in a sorry, crumpled mess on the floor. I'm not sure why, but I stood up. At that moment - England corner. I was rooted to the spot. Header. Kane. Delirium.

After dancing round the room with Junior, final whistle and getting him packed off to bed, I put the flag in the bin. Junior hasn't yet noticed, but every time I open the bin, the bloody thing keeps looking at me. As I say, I'm not superstitious, but I just can't bring myself to take it out.

Question for the TWTD-wise. Should I stop being stupid and retrieve the flag from the bin? Or buy another one? Or make up some flaky story before Sunday, when Junior enquires of the whereabouts of the flag and why it is not hanging on the wall (followed by the inevitable tears if my story is less than convincing)?

Answers required before Sunday please.
goalkeeper howlers
at 13:31 5 Jun 2018

Some classics here -

But no Bryan Gunn!
[Post edited 5 Jun 2018 13:35]
Yanny or laurel?
at 10:08 17 May 2018

Apologies if someone has already posted this.

Having listened umpteen times, it's definitely yanny for me (although sounds more like "yemmy")
The inbred infighting begins...
at 15:19 6 May 2018

The exchange between tim berry & scc28 is special.

He he he
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