Good to hear that TLA is improving; I'd like to send him my best wishes for a speedy recovery and hope he's soon feeling chipper enough to post on here again. I've missed his cheerful interjections, his stories and his upvotes......
Having been to Amsterdam for a stag weekend, I know what it's like to wake up in a strange bed with a sore willy and an even sorer nose, while some bird in a nurse uniform bends over you fiddling with stuff. It's not nice, so I can only imagine how TLA is coping, what with feeling ropey on top.
My get well wishes are echoed by Tel, who, whilst unaware still that I am posting tales about him on this forum, nevertheless was saddened to hear the news that somebody I sort of know and he doesn't is seriously unwell. "'Ow d'yer knar'em?" he asked. "Through work" I replied, thinking quick. "Wot, e's a Brummie then?" asked Tel. "Yes" I said. It saved complicated explanations and that. Tel then did his Brummie accent, which sounded like Gandhi if he'd lived in the Crossroads motel and been a bit backward. I have noticed he says exactly the same thing when he does accents; always "Well that's exciting innit?". He does this for his Welsh (Pakistani), his Scouse (sort of Coronation Street meets Thomas the Tank Engine, via Kermit the Frog) and his Scots, which is a mix of Oirish, drunkenness and wall-to-wall jimmys and och-awee's. I bet Rory Bremner's sh*tting himself.
It's been an odd week for all of us, what with a (relatively unknown) busy transfer final day for the Town and Tel's news that his brother-in-law and sister-in-law are trying a temporary separation. The former bagged us some excitement, whilst Tel got as much from the latter news; his only disappointment being that Tony, his brother-in-law, has decided against moving in with him and Mrs Tel, bringing his new Bang and Olufsen music system and telly. Instead, he's renting a flat in Chelmsford, enabling him to see the kids every day and be near his business.
Tel wasn't surprised by the news; apparently this has happened before when their daughter was a year old. His sister-in-law, Sandy, is "'igh maint'nance; she's never bin one fer keepin' the 'ouse nice or nuffink like tha'. Tone still did the cookin' an' the irenin" Tel seemed convinced there was no-one else involved. "Nah, 'e's too old. Be like me 'aving it off wiv sum dollybird, Christ, it'd bleedin' kill me, all tha' 'ard work, her constantly wantin' it". Equally, he said Sandy wasn't the type. "Too nice". "She knars which side 'er breds buttered'n tha'. She's geddin' on a bit as well". Still, having met them both, albeit twice, it was a shock.
Tel's probable diabetes continues to play and plan his life like a game. He's now stopped eating sausage baps for breakfast and has swapped them for a pear and some melon, chopped up. He was having granola on this with yoghurt but it gave him indigestion, so he stopped. Meanwhile, a well-meaning but slightly misinformed customer who has the same issue told him to up his protein from meat and eggs, so he's started eating nothing but steak and fried eggs in the evening. He still attends the weekly curry night, but I've noticed has started having all the kebab starters and has kicked the rice and breads. It's like a chavvy Atkins diet.
He wasn't surprised we only drew last week. He thought we'd lose today (he was right and he also thought Leeds, Bournemouth, Charlton, Posh and Chelsea would also win, so we're quids in again on our bet) and he's strangely subdued over the Hurst reign; he even thinks we'll beat villa next Saturday just to rub it in. His Ipswich mug has disappeared from the shop. He wasn't all that interested in the new signings, even the clips I showed him on Youtube playing for their former teams. He had a purpose with Mick, someone he could denigrate and lambast, like Evans and the club in general. Now things appear to be on the up, it's as if he's losing interest.
Paula saw him in midweek when I was at work; she's doing her driving test in 3 weeks and is also applying for the post of deputy manager of the store she works at. As she's been doing the job since May, Tel thinks she'll get it. He mentioned she seemed more confident; she's got rid of the Juicy trackies and the vape and now dresses in proper skirts and shirts and has had her bubble perm cut into a bob. I said 'she's growing up at last' and he glared at me, clearly irked that someone he used to be close to and worked closely with had now no further use for him. He sounded sad when he said 'S'pose that'll be the las' time ah see 'er now' as though his protégé and confidante was lost to him through something he'd done. The words 'ah never needed to ask 'er to leave' went unsaid, but it ultimately made her and he should be proud he made that decision. It'll take him time to see it like that, I reckon.
The pub doesn't change and neither does the landlord, although he's trying to be everything to everyone, which is likely to end in disaster. Jamie talks about employing a bloke he knew at college to be his mixologist, offering cheap end cocktails to entice the young and airheaded into his establishment for a rum and coke or a Bacardi and coke, with fruit in it. The curry nights are a huge success and rightly he's riding the catering 'crest of a wave' at the moment. His new idea met with stunned silence from the regulars. Tel smirked and said to him 'Best'o'luck with that one, Jame son". I'm waiting for him to cover the saloon bar with MDF and rename it the 'Kon-Tiki Lounge'.
I spent today recovering from a hangover. I missed the curry night last night to meet friends in Colchester, and drank too much as a result. I had a walk to clear the old head, went around old Harwich and on the front. My pint in the Alma continued the good work and I went home feeling sharp and fresh. I had skate wing for dinner, with burnt butter and capers and some Jersey Royals and pickled red cabbage. I'm typing this with a glass of Asbach brandy at my elbow and a decent coffee near my laptop. Shame we lost today. But keep the faith, it's coming. Like TLA, we won't be down for long. [Post edited 11 Aug 2018 20:56]
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