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Fan Mail.
at 13:06 23 Jul 2021

Good afternoon.
I’m a 37 year old record producer and pop star who’s been releasing awful magnolia disco pop/poop for the last decade aimed at the teenage and younger clubbing fraternity.
However, recently I’ve been inundated with fan mail from a London based gentleman who’s become obsessed with my music, actually getting to the point where my PA was horrified to find a pair of Y fronts attached to a request for a signed poster for his 46th birthday.
I only make sounds for the younger crowd, but will hopefully be collaborating with a few old past it artists in the near future to attract a more mature audience.
C H.
at 21:52 21 Jul 2021

Just sitting in the garden in IP23 and saw what I assume was a meteor or something burn up into pieces in a flash.

Any stargazers confirm this is what happened or saw it too.

Amazing and literally over in a few seconds.

No, I haven’t been drinking.
It’s St Swithins Day.
at 07:10 15 Jul 2021

It’s also a beautiful morning as I sup a coffee in the garden in IP23.

Forty days of lovely summer weather coming up
Guess It’s Not Coming Home After All.
at 23:06 11 Jul 2021

Well done Italy. Respect. They were the better side on the night. No complaints from me.

England future is bright though and I fully expect great things in the World Cup.

Ipswich season kicks off in a few weeks. COYB
Don't Like My New Neighbours.
at 23:21 9 Jul 2021

Moved into our new gaff a month or two ago.

Family moved in a few weeks later next door.

Had them round for dinner, but found out pretty quickly that they weren't into the swinging scene, which was a bit dissapointing.

Anyhow, we had been pretty friendly since then, until they got some cowboys in to turf the garden. Feckin tradesmen in at all times, parking across my drive, and being noisy .
Tried to reason with the neighbours, but to no avail.

Now, their daughter has got a car and nearly ran the cat over with her erratic driving.

This morning, a large turd appeared on my front garden, our garage window was smashed in and a bloody great leylandii hedge has been planted between our gardens.

What should we do? Mrs SSB thinks it will blow over and they will see reason, but i'm not so sure. They are even spreading rumours we gave them food poisoning*

*I'm sure the lovely tortoise stew she served up was properly cooked.

[Post edited 9 Jul 23:59]
On A Lighthearted Note............
at 21:25 8 Jul 2021

...........turned up for a quick mowing job this morning.

Clients large shaggy hound came out to greet me. Made a fuss of said hound.

"Don't make a fuss of him, he's in disgrace"


"He ate the tortoise".

I swiftly went back to the van, shut the doors and pissed myself laughing until my sides hurt.

Am i damned for eternity or not?
Victory Toonage.
at 23:27 7 Jul 2021

Footballs coming home
I'm in tears.
at 22:38 7 Jul 2021

And i couldn't give a toss who knows.

Brilliant performance.

It's coming home.
at 21:00 7 Jul 2021

This is the first England game i've felt any tension since the tournament started.

Best team we've faced. Causinng us a fair few problems and forcing mistakes.

Come on England.

at 19:36 7 Jul 2021

It's going to be a tough game against a very good Danish team, but.......................

Come on England.

Pre Match Dinners Tonight.
at 13:06 7 Jul 2021

What are you having then.
As I’m home alone, will be doing a rather large sausage casserole with mashed potatoes. Strawberries from the garden with clotted cream.
Decent selection of unhealthy nibbley things to gorge on during the game.
Swatting House Flies (and other beasties).
at 12:56 6 Jul 2021

Since moving into the countryside, the prevalence of the above have become a pain in the arse, so last weekend i purchased one of those tennis racket type thingies that have an electric current running through them to try and keep the numbers down.....and i must say what great fun i have had hitting the little bvggers Andy Murray esque. The noise and spark created as they get fried is a costant source of joy, but i'm concerned all this swatting is going to give me tennis elbow.
Apart from being more hygienic, both personally* and domestically, what's the most effective way of getting rid of the little blighters.

* I shower once a week.

How Are We All Feeling This Fine Sunday Morning.
at 09:26 4 Jul 2021

Can’t remember going to bed last night, but had to get up at 5 to let the dog out for a dump.
I’m feeling surprisingly chipper considering, although Mrs SSB is feeling a tad delicate.
Our friends have just surfaced and I feel a fry up in the offing.
It’s Coming Home.
at 21:44 3 Jul 2021

I’m pissed
We’re magnificent.
Bring on the Danes.

It’s coming home
Tonight Then Folks, Who's Doing What.
at 08:20 3 Jul 2021

Got my best mate and his wife visiting from Rushden for a couple of days. Haven't seen them for nearly a year. Dinner and beers in the local at 3 p.m. Back here for a slow build up, a hard fought 2-1 win against very tricky Ukraine, then it may get a tad messy afterwards.

Come on England
Suffolks Flora.
at 07:18 2 Jul 2021

Are our trees, hedges, shrubs, meadows, lawns and flowering plants on steroids this summer?

In nearly 45 years working in the horticultural world, i've never known the almost triffid like growth on the counties plant life. I'm knackered with all this extra mowing and hedge cutting.

What's it like in other parts of the country fellow horticulturalists.
Dennis The Menace Is 70.
at 08:01 1 Jul 2021

Happy Birthday you little rascal.

at 21:27 29 Jun 2021

A few days back, Mrs SSB ,tactful as ever "you're getting a bit lardy love". I took feck all notice and gave her a cursory grunt in reply.
However, i fear she might just have a point. I've just seen my reflection in dining room window and in my rather unflattering t-shirt, it appears i'm growing a fine pair of tits.
Luke Shaw.
at 19:19 29 Jun 2021

Really impressed again this evening. Went about his business superbly, assist for Sterling, Has certainly proved me wrong as i was favouring Chilwell pre-tournement.
Bloody Fantastic.
at 18:52 29 Jun 2021

It's coming home.
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