| Friday dilemma.... 07:28 - Nov 15 with 1890 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
An unknown friend has confided in junior Slave (early teenage) that she is self harming (evidenced and pretty bad) due to family related stresses. Also she has not been eating such that now when she does it hurts....more motivation to self harm for distraction.
The dilemma is that she doesn't want school to know as they are duty bound to inform her family.
Have no idea who she or her family are...
....any suggestions particularly from teachers who may know how this kind of thing is dealt with. [Post edited 15 Nov 2019 7:39]
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| Friday dilemma.... on 07:48 - Nov 15 with 1840 views | Texaco73 |
Contact Suffolk County Council children's services.
There is a webchat available and some FAQ on the website which may help you.
Obviously you do not have all the details but it is in the child's best interests to try to get her help whatever she may need. |  | | |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:49 - Nov 15 with 1843 views | bluelagos |
I'd find a way to inform the school all day long. Self harming can, in extreme cases lead to death (Suicide, anorexia).
They will be well placed you would hope to help student in whatever way is appropriate. Ignoring it and hoping it gets better or flagging it up to thise in a position to help...
Appreciate it is a dilemna, but if it was your loved one self harming,,am sure you'd want them to get support. |  |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 07:54 - Nov 15 with 1817 views | WD19 |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:49 - Nov 15 by bluelagos |
I'd find a way to inform the school all day long. Self harming can, in extreme cases lead to death (Suicide, anorexia).
They will be well placed you would hope to help student in whatever way is appropriate. Ignoring it and hoping it gets better or flagging it up to thise in a position to help...
Appreciate it is a dilemna, but if it was your loved one self harming,,am sure you'd want them to get support. |
Agree 100%.
I “know of someone” who was in a similar boat. Her friends told the school and from there it was a finely oiled machine. Support was put in place. Counselling within the school and also external was made available. Sorted.
Explain the dilemma to the school. There are many ways they can take an active interest beyond ‘somebody told us....’ |  | | |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:56 - Nov 15 with 1812 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:49 - Nov 15 by bluelagos |
I'd find a way to inform the school all day long. Self harming can, in extreme cases lead to death (Suicide, anorexia).
They will be well placed you would hope to help student in whatever way is appropriate. Ignoring it and hoping it gets better or flagging it up to thise in a position to help...
Appreciate it is a dilemna, but if it was your loved one self harming,,am sure you'd want them to get support. |
Sounds like the poor girl was in bits yesterday and hopefully a member of staff will have noticed.
I pretty much agree ..... and Junior will just have to accept the short term hit of being perceived to have betrayed a confidence!
God knows what family skeletons will be rattled. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 08:01 - Nov 15 with 1796 views | bluelagos |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:54 - Nov 15 by WD19 |
Agree 100%.
I “know of someone” who was in a similar boat. Her friends told the school and from there it was a finely oiled machine. Support was put in place. Counselling within the school and also external was made available. Sorted.
Explain the dilemma to the school. There are many ways they can take an active interest beyond ‘somebody told us....’ |
Issue I guess is that junior has been told a confidence and doesnt wish to betray it or lose a friendship.
If she makes that crystal clear to the school, they can am sure work round it rather than "Junior says xxx" | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 08:10 - Nov 15 with 1773 views | bluelagos |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:56 - Nov 15 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Sounds like the poor girl was in bits yesterday and hopefully a member of staff will have noticed.
I pretty much agree ..... and Junior will just have to accept the short term hit of being perceived to have betrayed a confidence!
God knows what family skeletons will be rattled. |
In my short teaching career (3 years) child protection issues were always the hardest bit, as you felt a responsibility.
But as a teacher, once an issue was reported, there were strong and well developed procedures for dealing with them. Keeping quiet is the easy route, being brave and speaking up is harder, but so important. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 08:19 - Nov 15 with 1751 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Friday dilemma.... on 08:10 - Nov 15 by bluelagos |
In my short teaching career (3 years) child protection issues were always the hardest bit, as you felt a responsibility.
But as a teacher, once an issue was reported, there were strong and well developed procedures for dealing with them. Keeping quiet is the easy route, being brave and speaking up is harder, but so important. |
Will speak to the school and hope it does not hinder the healthy communication with Junior that currently exists. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 08:47 - Nov 15 with 1725 views | Guthrum |
| Friday dilemma.... on 07:56 - Nov 15 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Sounds like the poor girl was in bits yesterday and hopefully a member of staff will have noticed.
I pretty much agree ..... and Junior will just have to accept the short term hit of being perceived to have betrayed a confidence!
God knows what family skeletons will be rattled. |
What was the purpose of the initial communication if not, on some level, to draw attention to her plight? If she does not feel able to speak out herself (possibly doesn't know where or how to ask for help, or out of fear of being blamed for consequences), then "putting it out there" in the hope of rescue is not an uncommon gambit*.
If she genuinely wanted it hidden, more likely to conceal/deny and make excuses for any injuries.
* From personal experience of mental health scenarios, but as a layman, not a professional. |  |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 09:16 - Nov 15 with 1686 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Friday dilemma.... on 08:47 - Nov 15 by Guthrum |
What was the purpose of the initial communication if not, on some level, to draw attention to her plight? If she does not feel able to speak out herself (possibly doesn't know where or how to ask for help, or out of fear of being blamed for consequences), then "putting it out there" in the hope of rescue is not an uncommon gambit*.
If she genuinely wanted it hidden, more likely to conceal/deny and make excuses for any injuries.
* From personal experience of mental health scenarios, but as a layman, not a professional. |
She was in bits during lunch break and then at the start of a lesson...Junior pretty much wrung it out of her. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 15:37 - Nov 15 with 1580 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
Thanks to all that offered advice which gave me the necessary kick up the arse to take some action.... hopefully it will all work out ok for Junior and her friend. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 17:18 - Nov 15 with 1536 views | IpswichKnight |
Mrs Ipswich Knight says to find out who the school's safeguarding lead is and report it to them, they will know how best to handle the situation especially if the girl is already on there radar. |  | | |
| Friday dilemma.... on 18:35 - Nov 15 with 1487 views | Nthsuffolkblue |
| Friday dilemma.... on 08:01 - Nov 15 by bluelagos |
Issue I guess is that junior has been told a confidence and doesnt wish to betray it or lose a friendship.
If she makes that crystal clear to the school, they can am sure work round it rather than "Junior says xxx" |
The school doesn't have to say where they found out from at all.
Why do you think she has revealed this to Junior? She is crying out for help. The sooner she is put in touch with the right people the better. |  |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 18:45 - Nov 15 with 1471 views | bluelagos |
| Friday dilemma.... on 15:37 - Nov 15 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Thanks to all that offered advice which gave me the necessary kick up the arse to take some action.... hopefully it will all work out ok for Junior and her friend. |
Good man. Definitely did the right thing imho. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 18:53 - Nov 15 with 1457 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Friday dilemma.... on 18:45 - Nov 15 by bluelagos |
Good man. Definitely did the right thing imho. |
Cheers .... this thread helped to identify my concerns which I was able to express in the meeting.
Being a little selfish my main one was to keep the communication good with Junior who is 14 and doesn't yet hate Miss Slave and Daddy Slave!...
....we will see. | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 19:06 - Nov 15 with 1428 views | bluelagos |
| Friday dilemma.... on 18:53 - Nov 15 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Cheers .... this thread helped to identify my concerns which I was able to express in the meeting.
Being a little selfish my main one was to keep the communication good with Junior who is 14 and doesn't yet hate Miss Slave and Daddy Slave!...
....we will see. |
If your kids never tell you they hate you at least once - you're being too soft :-) | |
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| Friday dilemma.... on 19:10 - Nov 15 with 1422 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Friday dilemma.... on 18:53 - Nov 15 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Cheers .... this thread helped to identify my concerns which I was able to express in the meeting.
Being a little selfish my main one was to keep the communication good with Junior who is 14 and doesn't yet hate Miss Slave and Daddy Slave!...
....we will see. |
I’m dreading teenage years. Number 1 son, who’s almost there, will probably be alright as he’s got his mother’s knack of being blissfully unaware of everything. He won’t notice or care about puberty. Nothing phases him. Number 2 daughter will be another matter - she’s already showing stroppy and impressionable teenage tendencies at 9, is a bit of a worrier, not the best eater, etc. |  |
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