| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages 13:24 - Dec 24 with 2219 views | clive_baker |
Finally saw him this morning and showed him the rash on my b0llocks.
He completely ignored me and carried on pushing his trolley around Tesco. |  |
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| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 13:34 - Dec 24 with 2134 views | azuremerlangus |
My GP is terrible, always getting things wrong. Several times he has prescribed me medication that was supposed to be 2 tablets taken 4 times a day rather than 4 tablets twice a day he told me.
Last I’d heard he was getting struck off after getting confused when pricking a boil. |  |
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| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 14:08 - Dec 24 with 2010 views | FBI |
My doctor said, "you have to stop masturbating."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I'm trying to examine you." |  |
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| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 14:08 - Dec 24 with 1989 views | dominiciawful |
Made me laugh. |  |
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| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 16:05 - Dec 24 with 1719 views | woodbridge_blue |
| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 14:08 - Dec 24 by FBI |
My doctor said, "you have to stop masturbating."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I'm trying to examine you." |
That has actually made me laugh out loud. |  | | |
| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 16:24 - Dec 24 with 1682 views | Warkystache |
Have I already told the one about my rectal examination?
Consultant at Colchester General in 2020, had to wear a mask as it was lockdown. I have Crohn;s Disease, which necessitates a fairly regular examination of all things bowel - Barium enemas, stool samples, all the lovely bits that you bring with you in various clear plastic speculums, a bit of kitchen roll wrapped around to hide the contents from prying eyes.
So the rectal exam. It followed a week of tests and updates. Consultant, cheery in a cheerless room, latex gloved and creaming the finger ends of the right hand with jelloid-like poultices. He managed, with no inconsiderable discomfort, two fingers up the harris, probing, scraping the walls of my posterior.
It was when he pulled the fingers out and found the latex had, catastrophically, ripped asunder and his fingers resembled something Cadbury's would proudly sell, that the nurse attending gagged.... |  |
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| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 17:22 - Dec 24 with 1531 views | Rimsy |
| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 16:24 - Dec 24 by Warkystache |
Have I already told the one about my rectal examination?
Consultant at Colchester General in 2020, had to wear a mask as it was lockdown. I have Crohn;s Disease, which necessitates a fairly regular examination of all things bowel - Barium enemas, stool samples, all the lovely bits that you bring with you in various clear plastic speculums, a bit of kitchen roll wrapped around to hide the contents from prying eyes.
So the rectal exam. It followed a week of tests and updates. Consultant, cheery in a cheerless room, latex gloved and creaming the finger ends of the right hand with jelloid-like poultices. He managed, with no inconsiderable discomfort, two fingers up the harris, probing, scraping the walls of my posterior.
It was when he pulled the fingers out and found the latex had, catastrophically, ripped asunder and his fingers resembled something Cadbury's would proudly sell, that the nurse attending gagged.... |
 That's what happens when they try to cut costs with PPE  |  |
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| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 17:49 - Dec 24 with 1459 views | BloomBlue |
When I was young, I decided I wanted to be a GP. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
I failed that exam but those who answered 'SPINE' are now doctors. |  | | |
| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 19:50 - Dec 24 with 1244 views | Tangledupin_Blue |
| Been trying to get an appointment to see my Dr for ages on 16:24 - Dec 24 by Warkystache |
Have I already told the one about my rectal examination?
Consultant at Colchester General in 2020, had to wear a mask as it was lockdown. I have Crohn;s Disease, which necessitates a fairly regular examination of all things bowel - Barium enemas, stool samples, all the lovely bits that you bring with you in various clear plastic speculums, a bit of kitchen roll wrapped around to hide the contents from prying eyes.
So the rectal exam. It followed a week of tests and updates. Consultant, cheery in a cheerless room, latex gloved and creaming the finger ends of the right hand with jelloid-like poultices. He managed, with no inconsiderable discomfort, two fingers up the harris, probing, scraping the walls of my posterior.
It was when he pulled the fingers out and found the latex had, catastrophically, ripped asunder and his fingers resembled something Cadbury's would proudly sell, that the nurse attending gagged.... |
Serves him right for not clipping his nails more often. [Post edited 24 Dec 2022 19:53]
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