 Why Don't You?Written by SpiritOfJohn on Sunday, 29th Jan 2017 13:47 People of a certain vintage will recall a TV show in the 1970s titled Why Don’t You Turn Off Your Television Set and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?. Bearing in mind some Town supporters are advocating a boycott of the current regime along the lines of ‘Why Don’t You Stop Going to Portman Road and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead Until Mick Has Been Given His P45?’, here is a handy list of alternative entertainments on offer for those contemplating following this controversial advice. Stay in the pub. When those around you make their way to the exits, simply stay put and savour your current beverage before ordering another. Move from the bar to a comfy chair where you can enjoy the warmth of a real fire, or find a spot where you can see Jeff Stelling holding court on Sky. All goes well until the local bore targets you and gives you the benefit of their views on Brexit and Donald Trump. Enjoy the benefits of a countryside pursuit. Riding with the local hunt isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but that still leaves shooting and fishing. Blast your way through the undergrowth with your trusty shooter (caution: you will need a gun and a licence to take part) and impress your new friends in the country set. Alternatively, take a rod and line to the riverbank and cast off. While waiting several hours for a fish to take a nibble, listen to Radio Suffolk’s matchday coverage and smile ruefully at those wasting their afternoon. Take up a winter sport. Those with deep pockets can leave these wintry shores and go somewhere even colder with the additional benefits of fresh snow. You will be following the Ipswich tradition, as former chairman John Cobbold was a regular at St Moritz, where he once broke his nose on the Cresta Run. Unless your name is Marcus Evans it is unlikely you will be able to afford this activity every other week, so your best bet may be to locate your local ice rink and skate around and around and around to your heart’s content. Visit a local museum. Take advantage of all this free time at your fingertips by patronising interesting finds of broken pottery or voluminous entomological collections. Quickly locate the tea shop for some respite and tune in to your personal sports radio to catch up with the latest score. Don’t forget to pick up a fridge magnet on your way out. Go shopping. When your other half gets wind of all of the money you are saving by not making the regular pilgrimage to Portman Road, you will inevitably have to fund a shopping excursion. Your partner will know that the shops in the city of Norwich are better than those found in the town of Ipswich. Therefore, you will have to fork out for a trip to London, or you will find yourself being dragged around the canary capital when you should be being bored on home terraces. Pay your respects to an elderly relative. You haven’t seen old Uncle Sidney for a long time, dig out your address book and pay him a visit. When you arrive you find that his bungalow needs a spring clean. You set about the task with a good-humoured smile, but the kids have just realised that this is a wi-fi free zone and there are no consoles in the house. If you are lucky Uncle Sidney will break out his WW2 medals, but if he doesn’t want to talk about it you are all in for a long afternoon. Take up a hobby. Do they still make train sets? Yes they do. Build that set you always wanted. Build HMS Trafalgar out of matches. Build your very own Lego Death Star. The choice is yours. Join a gym. Enrol in that gym you always thought was for posers. Instead of boring everyone with the details of another dreadful Town performance you will be able to inform your work colleagues about how much you can bench press and discuss the procurement of vitamins and other supplements to boost your physique. DIY. There are a number of projects around the house that need attention. You have often said you would rather watch paint dry than McCarthy’s Ipswich, now is your chance to make that happen. Spend some quality time with your family. Rediscover that the best things in life are free and spend the afternoon at home playing a favourite board game. If you are lucky you may even find a family member who wants to play with you. So there you have my top ten alternative activities. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. Or you could just go to the football. Please report offensive, libellous or inappropriate posts by using the links provided.
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