| Look after yourself, and those around you. 11:10 - Aug 13 with 2822 views | hoppy |
I posted this at the end of the Graham Thorpe thread from yesterday, but just thought it might be worth posting in a new thread.
At Ipswich Wanderers this season we’ve chosen as our charity partner a local one which tries to raise awareness and give support to men that are struggling with their mental health. With a lot of teams at the club, there are a lot of young lads and men associated with the club in some way, so we felt it seemed a good one to choose, as there's a likely chance there may be one or two, or more of those that might well be struggling and not know who to reach out to.
If anyone is struggling, or knows someone that is struggling, or to be more aware yourself, it might be helpful to direct them here…
https://www.manup.how/
"At MANUP?, our ultimate aim [as a charity] is to render ourselves obsolete. We envision a future where the stigma surrounding men’s mental health is eradicated and effective support systems are universally accessible. Until that day, we remain steadfast in our mission, committed to making a lasting impact and supporting men across the UK."
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 11:39 - Aug 13 with 2718 views | Churchman |
It’s well worth posting Hoppy. A cruelly neglected area. I was one of those born into the ‘man up pull yourself together, never show weakness, get on with it, never show emotion’. I don’t to this day outwardly. Stupid really. Mental well-being has nothing to do with weakness etc.
It was brought home to me some years ago when Mrs Cs cousin and friend of mine took his own life. He’d struggled with mental health a little in his yoof but you wouldn’t have known to meet him. Successful in work, wife, family (I’m godfather to his daughter) etc one day he decided ending his life was his only option.
At his funeral there was the mixture of grief, loss, annoyance, guilt, bemusement. After it, his mum said to me after an unpleasant old bat made a tactless comment ‘he wasn’t a bad man, was he?’. Of course he wasn’t and I tried to find the right words to hammer that message home.
It was a good example of how mental health was viewed and still is. You cannot see it, sometimes it’s ugly and difficult, but it is there and should never be ignored.
I hope the days of particularly boys living under the first paragraph ‘rules’ of certainly my yoof are behind us, but I’m not so sure. So anything that helps dispose of the stigma around mental health has to be a good thing. [Post edited 13 Aug 2024 11:40]
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:04 - Aug 13 with 2629 views | hoppy |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 11:39 - Aug 13 by Churchman |
It’s well worth posting Hoppy. A cruelly neglected area. I was one of those born into the ‘man up pull yourself together, never show weakness, get on with it, never show emotion’. I don’t to this day outwardly. Stupid really. Mental well-being has nothing to do with weakness etc.
It was brought home to me some years ago when Mrs Cs cousin and friend of mine took his own life. He’d struggled with mental health a little in his yoof but you wouldn’t have known to meet him. Successful in work, wife, family (I’m godfather to his daughter) etc one day he decided ending his life was his only option.
At his funeral there was the mixture of grief, loss, annoyance, guilt, bemusement. After it, his mum said to me after an unpleasant old bat made a tactless comment ‘he wasn’t a bad man, was he?’. Of course he wasn’t and I tried to find the right words to hammer that message home.
It was a good example of how mental health was viewed and still is. You cannot see it, sometimes it’s ugly and difficult, but it is there and should never be ignored.
I hope the days of particularly boys living under the first paragraph ‘rules’ of certainly my yoof are behind us, but I’m not so sure. So anything that helps dispose of the stigma around mental health has to be a good thing. [Post edited 13 Aug 2024 11:40]
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I was also born into that era.
My room mate at college took his own life. I can't imagine what effect that must've had on the young lad who found him, through his own life since. It affected me massively at the time, and the memory never leaves you, or the thought of 'should I have noticed more... could I have done more, did he keep it completely hidden, or were there signs? etc' remain to this day.
I think the important thing is that there are now more outlets for people to talk than there ever used to be, so please, if you or anyone you know is struggling, please talk to someone. Either through the link for MANUP? in the OP, or the Talk Club one posted further down this thread - or send someone on here a PM, if you want to talk to someone fairly anonymous - I'm happy for anyone to PM me if they ever want to chat or offload to someone. I can't promise to have answers, but I can promise to listen.
*edited to remove possibly unhelpful detail. [Post edited 14 Aug 2024 2:57]
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:21 - Aug 13 with 2568 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
This is great. Thanks for posting. Mens' Mental Health support needs particular attention.
I noticed a leaflet in a pub at the weekend advertising something similar at ITFC - Talk Club. Far from wanting to hijack or supercede your promotion of a worthy charity such as Man Up, as a woman, this charity is not for me, but mental wellbeing is something I struggle with. So here's another link to a charity that is not male specific and female fellow ITFC fans could look at as an alternative.
https://talkclub.org/clubs/ipswich-town-fc-talking-group/ |  | | |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:50 - Aug 13 with 2491 views | IndependentlyBlue |
Good post. The more the issue is talked about and normalised the better. Like the OP I was brought up in that era. Can’t imagine the damage that those attitudes have done to countless people and relationships.
Fills me with hope when l see it discussed honestly on here.
Keep safe people. |  |
| Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt |
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 13:55 - Aug 13 with 2360 views | hoppy |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:50 - Aug 13 by IndependentlyBlue |
Good post. The more the issue is talked about and normalised the better. Like the OP I was brought up in that era. Can’t imagine the damage that those attitudes have done to countless people and relationships.
Fills me with hope when l see it discussed honestly on here.
Keep safe people. |
Absolutely. Far better to have options to talk rather than bottling things up and thinking its in some way a show of weakness. | |
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 00:16 - Aug 14 with 2209 views | hoppy |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:21 - Aug 13 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
This is great. Thanks for posting. Mens' Mental Health support needs particular attention.
I noticed a leaflet in a pub at the weekend advertising something similar at ITFC - Talk Club. Far from wanting to hijack or supercede your promotion of a worthy charity such as Man Up, as a woman, this charity is not for me, but mental wellbeing is something I struggle with. So here's another link to a charity that is not male specific and female fellow ITFC fans could look at as an alternative.
https://talkclub.org/clubs/ipswich-town-fc-talking-group/ |
Is the one at Town definitely something for female fans too?
I clicked on the home page, and it says this:
"Talk Club is a UK male mental health charity helping men to improve their mental health.
We prefer to call it mental fitness because our talking groups actively help men to understand how they’re feeling by asking ‘How are you? Out of 10?’ then explaining why. It helps to build resilience, and the numbers prove it." | |
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 01:40 - Aug 14 with 2173 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:04 - Aug 13 by hoppy |
I was also born into that era.
My room mate at college took his own life. I can't imagine what effect that must've had on the young lad who found him, through his own life since. It affected me massively at the time, and the memory never leaves you, or the thought of 'should I have noticed more... could I have done more, did he keep it completely hidden, or were there signs? etc' remain to this day.
I think the important thing is that there are now more outlets for people to talk than there ever used to be, so please, if you or anyone you know is struggling, please talk to someone. Either through the link for MANUP? in the OP, or the Talk Club one posted further down this thread - or send someone on here a PM, if you want to talk to someone fairly anonymous - I'm happy for anyone to PM me if they ever want to chat or offload to someone. I can't promise to have answers, but I can promise to listen.
*edited to remove possibly unhelpful detail. [Post edited 14 Aug 2024 2:57]
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If I could say this as gently as possible:
It's best not to mention the means by which somebody commits suicide as this can become a fixation for those who may be having suicidal thoughts. So it would be good if you could edit that sentence slightly.
I have been very concerned to see serious news websites stating the means by which Graham Thorpe died on their front page with no context, help information or warnings, even if the linked article did contain helpful links. But some articles didn't have the help information at all.
Because suicide has been proven to be epidemiological, I am concerned that there will be those who copy Graham Thorpe's actions.
I hope this doesn't come across as critical, or know-it-all. You have done a really good thing in posting this Help information in the original thread and here. |  | | |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 02:50 - Aug 14 with 2142 views | hoppy |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 01:40 - Aug 14 by ArnoldMoorhen |
If I could say this as gently as possible:
It's best not to mention the means by which somebody commits suicide as this can become a fixation for those who may be having suicidal thoughts. So it would be good if you could edit that sentence slightly.
I have been very concerned to see serious news websites stating the means by which Graham Thorpe died on their front page with no context, help information or warnings, even if the linked article did contain helpful links. But some articles didn't have the help information at all.
Because suicide has been proven to be epidemiological, I am concerned that there will be those who copy Graham Thorpe's actions.
I hope this doesn't come across as critical, or know-it-all. You have done a really good thing in posting this Help information in the original thread and here. |
Thanks for this helpful comment - I hadn't considered that aspect, to be honest.
Now amended. | |
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 07:24 - Aug 14 with 1986 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 00:16 - Aug 14 by hoppy |
Is the one at Town definitely something for female fans too?
I clicked on the home page, and it says this:
"Talk Club is a UK male mental health charity helping men to improve their mental health.
We prefer to call it mental fitness because our talking groups actively help men to understand how they’re feeling by asking ‘How are you? Out of 10?’ then explaining why. It helps to build resilience, and the numbers prove it." |
Ah, ok. I had clicked around a few pages in the site but didn't notice anything male-specific on those pages. Thanks for pointing that out. | | | |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 07:56 - Aug 14 with 1922 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
Hadn't seen this thread or that you already posted this link. Will leave it up anyway as sometimes more is more.
Good thread Hoppy btw. |  |
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| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 08:48 - Aug 14 with 1866 views | Buhrer |
Well meaning but looks amateurish and an amount of any money donated looks like it will be funding essentially small scale social meets and some bloke pumping out his training courses.
If anyone is struggling, or knows someone that is struggling, or to be more aware yourself, it might be more helpful to direct them here…
https://www.suffolk.gov.uk/care-and-support-for-adults/keep-well-and-active/ment |  | | |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 12:54 - Aug 14 with 1759 views | hoppy |
| Look after yourself, and those around you. on 08:48 - Aug 14 by Buhrer |
Well meaning but looks amateurish and an amount of any money donated looks like it will be funding essentially small scale social meets and some bloke pumping out his training courses.
If anyone is struggling, or knows someone that is struggling, or to be more aware yourself, it might be more helpful to direct them here…
https://www.suffolk.gov.uk/care-and-support-for-adults/keep-well-and-active/ment |
"but looks amateurish and an amount of any money donated looks like it will be funding essentially small scale social meets and some bloke pumping out his training courses."
I'm not quite sure how you've made that conclusion to be honest, but for some, one of those 'small scale' events might just be the support or difference they need to prevent an unnecessary loss of life, that may not be achieved in the same moment that it might take battling through the system that can often be quite a long one to get the support needed (of which I have had a bit of experience of as well). | |
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