| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) 10:23 - Sep 7 with 1145 views | Warkystache |
Apologies for the delay. I had a weekend away last week, in Cromer of all places. It made sense at the time. Change of scenery in a town where I used to holiday frequently when I was a kid. Then, in the 80's, it was all rain on the roof of the tent, looking for crabs at low tide, annual carnivals, 2p slot machines. Now it's Corona-distanced fun, like watching someone else from afar. I didn't camp this time. I hired a cottage in East Runton instead. It was more grown-up.
I pretended it was all good fun, but in reality, Saturdays in Cromer are a bit limited, and I ended up walking a lot. The weather was OK, bit windy, but it didn't blow my ice cream out of the cone on the pier. It has done that before. In July 1983. God, was I traumatised at the time. It was a 99 as well and I'd only nibbled the top of the flake.
I went because things between Tel and me had become a bit dull. We haven't fallen out, far from it, but he wanted to take Mrs Tel out last Saturday and I wanted a change. Conscious of the likelihood that any meeting with him would involve copious alcohol intake in a strange pub, possibly with patchy pub grub thrown in, I decided to spend a bit of dosh and try Cromer instead. The walks were taxing and I didn't miss drinking. That was the surprise.
So back on BH Monday afternoon, through the intermittent showers and the delays on the A49, it felt refreshing and somewhat different. Not renewed, but definitely recharged optimism on my part.
I met Tel on BH Monday evening for a drink in the new local. I drove, so ended up having a half and then several tonic waters with ice. We ate dry-rub ribs and then fish skewers with home-made coleslaw, which was quite nice. Normally it looks like sick.
Tel still hasn't started this job with Tony. He leaves for a week in Broadstairs next Friday. It was originally two weeks but the cottage rental people f*cked up, so it's now a week. Tel was phlegmatic about it. "Least it means 'f'we don' lark it, we c'n come 'ome earlier". He's been given a compensatory £200 back as well, so he's got spending money. I raised my eyebrows at him. Mrs Tel could spend that in an hour. He smiled. "She could if I let 'er". He became confidential. "She's spent four 'undred notes on stuff on Amazon, sort o' house'old goods, towels, bed sheets, du-veys, tha' sorta fing. All flowery colours, like. Our du-vey looks like a bleedin' meadow. Imagine geddin' inter bed wiv that". For a moment, I thought he meant Mrs Tel.
The loose end he's at didn't bother him. "Tone can keep 'is plasterin' at this rate. Promised me a job, then can't get the contract". He sat back with a swagger. Life's easy at the moment. Plenty of cash in the bank, spendthrift wife whose money it actually is, holiday in Kent rather than the tackier bits of Spain. His current ease is matched only by the sense of entitlement he brings to every conversation. "Earned it, I 'ave. Forty odd years'o'work. Up at four, humpin'..." (here I raised eyebrows again in shock; surely we weren't back to his sex life?) "...loads o' papers" (relief). He tried to look tired. It still looked smug.
He told me a story about a friend, Rick, a bloke he's known since the 80's when he started the shop. "So Rick gets divorced abart fifteen-odd years ago, wife was 'avin' a bit on the side with their neighbour. Strange woman she was. Never fancied 'er, even though she was attractive. Reminded me of someone...." Here he looked thoughtful. Well, I say thoughtful. It actually bought to mind someone incontinent having a good dump at the table. "Kim Wilde" he suddenly announced, triumphantly. I was astonished. You never fancied Kim Wilde? I said. "Well, yeah, but this was the 'ard-faced version. She only looked like Kim Wilde a bit. The same eyes. And kinda the same hair".
"Well anyway, Jackie, that was 'er name, I fink..." (another brief think) "...might've been Julie actually, well anyway, she was 'avin' it off wiv Rick's neighbour. 'Is wife told Rick. Found her drawers in 'is Capri or summink like that. Anyway, Rick has it out wiv 'er an' she ends up back round 'er mum's, an' divorces 'im a year later, 'e took the blame, unreasonable be'aviour or summink, even though she was the one 'oo'd done it. So anyway, 'e ends up wiv 'is neighbour's wife. They've even 'ad a kid. 'Aven't seen 'im since I stopped the shop. Lives in Felixstowe now. Well, that was until 'e messaged me the ovver day, askin' ter meet up. So I goes darn there an' 'e's split from 'is missus. Movin' back this way, rented 'ouse darn near you. So 'cos you're back at work'n'that, we've been 'avin' a few durin' the week. 'E's self-employed. Writes for trade mags. Loads'a' free time for drinks".
So we may have a new drinking buddy joining us. He invited this bloke Rick to the drinks on Monday but he was busy. He came instead to our Friday nighter. He's a nice bloke. We chatted about writing and work and life in general and he made us laugh with tales of when he worked for The Ipswich Star ("Load of fly-by-nights they were. You should have seen their journalists attempt spelling on their copy"). Best of all, he's Town. The memories of past matches flooded out.....
We shared a cab back and dropped Rick first, making arrangements to meet again for a curry next Saturday. As we drove away, Tel leaned over from the passenger seat and said "He's alright innee?" I agreed. Nice bloke. Not annoying, or generally thick or short of a funny tale. Also a Town. Could be a good ally when Tel starts betting against us from next weekend.
Nearly the footy season. So we won't be back yet, but hey. It's coming. |  |
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| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 11:09 - Sep 7 with 1066 views | Ace_High1 |
I did notice your absence last weekend, started to get concerned!
Nice to see a new addition, got a feel Rick is going to become a regular and dare I say it one day replace Tel!? |  | | |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 16:35 - Sep 7 with 934 views | Meadowlark |
I 'ope names 'ave bin changed to protect the guilty? If Rick is Town, he must 'ave bin on' ere!
Could even be board royalty!! |  | | |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 21:11 - Sep 12 with 670 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 11:09 - Sep 7 by Ace_High1 |
I did notice your absence last weekend, started to get concerned!
Nice to see a new addition, got a feel Rick is going to become a regular and dare I say it one day replace Tel!? |
Tel's spesh....get a grip (wo)man! |  |
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| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 21:13 - Sep 12 with 664 views | J2BLUE |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 21:11 - Sep 12 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Tel's spesh....get a grip (wo)man! |
If anything Terry needs his own spin off. |  |
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| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 23:35 - Sep 12 with 604 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 11:09 - Sep 7 by Ace_High1 |
I did notice your absence last weekend, started to get concerned!
Nice to see a new addition, got a feel Rick is going to become a regular and dare I say it one day replace Tel!? |
Early indications are that Rick is gonna be a regular but Tels the star of the show! There’s no replacing the lead! |  |
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| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 23:45 - Sep 12 with 595 views | StochesStotasBlewe |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 21:13 - Sep 12 by J2BLUE |
If anything Terry needs his own spin off. |
Better call Tel. |  |
| We have no village green, or a shop.
It's very, very quiet.
I can walk to the pub. |
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| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 00:17 - Sep 13 with 584 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| The Warky Lg 1 Report: Bring it home baby, make it soon (H) on 21:13 - Sep 12 by J2BLUE |
If anything Terry needs his own spin off. |
If Warky could convince him to do a cooking show then would that be Tel’s Kitchen? | |
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