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1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.
5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help.
7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.
8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my God.
12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…
13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).
14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"
18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.
20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.
23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…
24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).
25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?
confused? you will be on 13:09 - Apr 18 by Herbivore
That doesn't explain it, the OP wasn't funny.
I found it a mildly amusing pisstake on the confusion/madness surrounding all this. Not sure anyone thought it was wholly accurate or belly-laugh inducing.
My hobbies include being quiet during trips, clapping with songs, and diabetes.
confused? you will be on 13:11 - Apr 18 by pointofblue
I think it’s more a case of how different people are interpreting the guidance for their own purposes.
And it's almost certainly American in origin as well.
It's fun having a search for this and seeing all the weird variations. My favourite is almost exactly the same except for weirdly number 24 has "Orange man bad" written at the end of it for some reason.
confused? you will be on 13:17 - Apr 18 by Superblue95
I found it a mildly amusing pisstake on the confusion/madness surrounding all this. Not sure anyone thought it was wholly accurate or belly-laugh inducing.
If that counts as amusing these days I can finally make some sense of why Mrs Brown's Boys and Miranda seem to be so popular.
confused? you will be on 21:09 - Apr 17 by StokieBlue
He's come back to spout self-confirming conspiracy theories on as many threads as possible.
If you can't see it then it's not because it's not there, it's because you're either part of it or naive to how the world works.
Most of the points aren't even correct. That doesn't matter though of course.
SB
[Post edited 17 Apr 2020 21:09]
Just out of curiosity, what is your definition of a conspiracy theorist? Is it simply anybody who dares to ever question the official narrative? Let's take this example, Anna Brees (a former ITV and BBC journalist):
Would you consider her a conspiracy theorist for example?
confused? you will be on 14:28 - Apr 18 by midastouch
Just out of curiosity, what is your definition of a conspiracy theorist? Is it simply anybody who dares to ever question the official narrative? Let's take this example, Anna Brees (a former ITV and BBC journalist):
Would you consider her a conspiracy theorist for example?
The above (if habitually applied) could put some of the debate on this forum out of business. I know I'm being a tad idealistic but hear me out.
I sometimes get tempted to play a game of one-upmanship on here (when something hits a nerve), but guess what, the only person that is ever getting one up on me when I descend to that level is father time!
When we stand at the Pearly Gates the entry criteria is unlikely to be who got the most up votes on TWTD! Although I imagine enough downvotes might be good grounds to qualify for access to hell! :-)
The above (if habitually applied) could put some of the debate on this forum out of business. I know I'm being a tad idealistic but hear me out.
I sometimes get tempted to play a game of one-upmanship on here (when something hits a nerve), but guess what, the only person that is ever getting one up on me when I descend to that level is father time!
When we stand at the Pearly Gates the entry criteria is unlikely to be who got the most up votes on TWTD! Although I imagine enough downvotes might be good grounds to qualify for access to hell! :-)
[Post edited 18 Apr 2020 16:46]
The internet generally is an ongoing kind of Schrodinger's Cat - simultaneously both the greatest timesaver *and* the greatest timethief ever!
The internet generally is an ongoing kind of Schrodinger's Cat - simultaneously both the greatest timesaver *and* the greatest timethief ever!
Fair point, as the modern maxim goes: "Use technology, but don't let it use you." We're mostly guilty of being consumed by it probably more than is good for us. I used to try and take every Sunday off from technology completely. I stuck to it for a while and actually felt a lot better for it. But guess what, soon enough I slipped back into the old routine again!
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