| Am i right to be shocked by this? 07:38 - Oct 6 with 6598 views | Tractorgirlforever |
I was at the game yesterday in the top of the cobbold and i witnessed something that i think shocked me more than anything ive seen from the fans around me in almost 50years of watching football!.. on the back row, the row behind me , infact standing right behind me was a kid id say about 11 years old and the language coming from the kids mouth was absolutely shocking..not just the F word, there was the C word, w@#n*#r, a youre sha@&ing your sister chant...every possible word you could think of and not just once or twice it was non stop the whole match. I was thinking to myself in the first half how can the parent allow that. At half time i turned around to look at them and i was so shocked to see that the kid was a girl!.. id seriously through that first half thought it was a boy, not that that wouldve made it right. How could a parent allow that?. The girl was with her dad and he joined in the chants with her occasionally!. Sitting next to me was a man with his son, who was asimilar age to this girl and i just felt sorry for them having to listen to that. I know you get bad language at football, its always been the case and always will be but hearing the worst of the worst comung from an 11 year old girl with her dad did actually shock me! |  | | |  |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 19:48 - Oct 6 with 586 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 19:37 - Oct 6 by djgooder |
Part of being a leader is having a standard and maintaining it. Being consistent.
The overall reference was aimed at the behaviour of the child and then the influence of the parent. Then some referring that it was ok for children to swear at a match but not elsewhere. That is where the leadership reference comes in.
And I have no issues with other people having opinions. But my opinion is that if a parent is openly encouraging their child to swear it is bad parenting. End of. For me I could never see it otherwise, you feel free to recognise it otherwise. |
As a general rule, I’d be more offended by someone saying ‘end of’ twice in the middle of a discussion than hearing them say the word ‘f**k’.
Your use of ‘end of’ suggests your opinion is superior to us mere mortals. Whereas that’s not the case. You don’t like it. But that’s not up to you. You’re not the parent. I now find myself hoping the OP and yourself are surrounded by people swearing at the next game. |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:01 - Oct 6 with 530 views | djgooder |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 19:48 - Oct 6 by The_Romford_Blue |
As a general rule, I’d be more offended by someone saying ‘end of’ twice in the middle of a discussion than hearing them say the word ‘f**k’.
Your use of ‘end of’ suggests your opinion is superior to us mere mortals. Whereas that’s not the case. You don’t like it. But that’s not up to you. You’re not the parent. I now find myself hoping the OP and yourself are surrounded by people swearing at the next game. |
Ok. I accept your criticism of my voice of language. As in the ‘end of’, that was meant as to my opinion not trying to lord it over mere mortals. I’ll think how to express that better next time
However, if you think wishing me or the OP should be surrounded by people swearing then that’s a shame and not too dissimilar to Norwich fans calling for their players to hurt Nunez as he’d switched allegiances. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:06 - Oct 6 with 519 views | djgooder |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 18:42 - Oct 6 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
Well, I'll add my two penneth.
I was brought up not to swear, I don't like hearing it, but, working on building sites, I've gotten used to hearing it.
I do believe that most people who swear prolifically need to expand their vocabulary, as most points can be made emphatically without resorting to swearing and it is generally just good personal growth.
I don't like hearing the kind of swearing the OP discusses at football matches, and it is sad to see children learning a kind of crude tribalism that could easily lead them into really nasty chants, and even worse, if it's not kept in check.
However, every parent has the right to raise their child as they wish, as long as they adhere to the law and don't abuse them.
If that dad thinks his 11 year old girl is being well brought up and doesn't mind the potty mouth, then what can anyone else do?
It's a fine line between finding things offensive and resorting to Karen/Kevin behaviour.
So yeah, hate it myself, but it's out there, I tolerate it in silence. |
I actually pretty much agree with everything you’ve said.
And like you I typically sit quietly and don’t react. But is that right? In fairness I’m prob not brave enough to openly say something. | | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:23 - Oct 6 with 483 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:06 - Oct 6 by djgooder |
I actually pretty much agree with everything you’ve said.
And like you I typically sit quietly and don’t react. But is that right? In fairness I’m prob not brave enough to openly say something. |
I guess it depends. If it is just foul language, then no, I don't think anyone has a right to censor someone's choice to swear in a public place. But if that language is prejudiced, or hateful, then the FA actively encourages supporters to report abusive language in stadia.
I suppose it is up to each individual to draw that line in the sand, but have to face the consequences.
I certainly hope that if I heard any of the latter at a game that I would be brave enough to ask that supporter to stop, let alone report it. [Post edited 6 Oct 20:32]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:34 - Oct 6 with 460 views | Ryorry |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:23 - Oct 6 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
I guess it depends. If it is just foul language, then no, I don't think anyone has a right to censor someone's choice to swear in a public place. But if that language is prejudiced, or hateful, then the FA actively encourages supporters to report abusive language in stadia.
I suppose it is up to each individual to draw that line in the sand, but have to face the consequences.
I certainly hope that if I heard any of the latter at a game that I would be brave enough to ask that supporter to stop, let alone report it. [Post edited 6 Oct 20:32]
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Agree, but I think it’s important to make a clear distinction between 1) “ordinary” swearing and 2) hate speech, the latter meaning racism, homophobia, misogyny etc., and/or incitement to violence.
I thought this discussion was just about 1) - that’s what I was talking about anyway. I like to think I’d always call out 2) to people’s faces, tell them to desist, and report it. |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:38 - Oct 6 with 450 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:01 - Oct 6 by djgooder |
Ok. I accept your criticism of my voice of language. As in the ‘end of’, that was meant as to my opinion not trying to lord it over mere mortals. I’ll think how to express that better next time
However, if you think wishing me or the OP should be surrounded by people swearing then that’s a shame and not too dissimilar to Norwich fans calling for their players to hurt Nunez as he’d switched allegiances. |
Have you just compared me saying i hope you have to sit next to someone saying a swear word as Nodge fans calling to break Nunez’ legs? Surely you haven’t.
You silly goose. (I could’ve easily called you a naughty word then but I won’t because I’m a good team player and don’t want to ruin Phildinis spirit. #ThankYouRommy) | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:44 - Oct 6 with 433 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:34 - Oct 6 by Ryorry |
Agree, but I think it’s important to make a clear distinction between 1) “ordinary” swearing and 2) hate speech, the latter meaning racism, homophobia, misogyny etc., and/or incitement to violence.
I thought this discussion was just about 1) - that’s what I was talking about anyway. I like to think I’d always call out 2) to people’s faces, tell them to desist, and report it. |
Sorry, I should have been clearer. What I was trying to say is pretty much what you said.
Foul language - I mean, you could ask politely if they would mind not swearing, but I doubt you'd get anywhere, as it's their right to use it
However, if that foul language included abuse towards players/supporters, maybe yes. The OP mentioned chants about sh**ging their relatives. Some might find that abusive language, but it would be pretty tenuous and likely not worth the agro to say anything. I certainly wouldn't get hot and bothered about that.
I'd say to the OP, try sitting elsewhere for another game. It's unlikely you'll be sat near those fans again and the experience would be more pleasant, but I think we've all had a game where we've been sat near people who have tainted our experience of the match, but that's the chance you take in a stadium full of 30k pumped up football fans. | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:48 - Oct 6 with 416 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:44 - Oct 6 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
Sorry, I should have been clearer. What I was trying to say is pretty much what you said.
Foul language - I mean, you could ask politely if they would mind not swearing, but I doubt you'd get anywhere, as it's their right to use it
However, if that foul language included abuse towards players/supporters, maybe yes. The OP mentioned chants about sh**ging their relatives. Some might find that abusive language, but it would be pretty tenuous and likely not worth the agro to say anything. I certainly wouldn't get hot and bothered about that.
I'd say to the OP, try sitting elsewhere for another game. It's unlikely you'll be sat near those fans again and the experience would be more pleasant, but I think we've all had a game where we've been sat near people who have tainted our experience of the match, but that's the chance you take in a stadium full of 30k pumped up football fans. |
I bet the OP sits down away and moans about people not being in their allocated seat | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:52 - Oct 6 with 398 views | Tractorgirlforever |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:44 - Oct 6 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
Sorry, I should have been clearer. What I was trying to say is pretty much what you said.
Foul language - I mean, you could ask politely if they would mind not swearing, but I doubt you'd get anywhere, as it's their right to use it
However, if that foul language included abuse towards players/supporters, maybe yes. The OP mentioned chants about sh**ging their relatives. Some might find that abusive language, but it would be pretty tenuous and likely not worth the agro to say anything. I certainly wouldn't get hot and bothered about that.
I'd say to the OP, try sitting elsewhere for another game. It's unlikely you'll be sat near those fans again and the experience would be more pleasant, but I think we've all had a game where we've been sat near people who have tainted our experience of the match, but that's the chance you take in a stadium full of 30k pumped up football fans. |
It didnt ruin my enjoyment of the game. It just shocked me to hear such words coming from a young child infront of her dad!. Ive been going to football for a very long time and heard plenty of swearing, maybe said the odd word myself!. I didnt say anything to them about it but its still allowed to genuinely shock me. I found myself trying to make excuses for her. I said to the person i was with maybe shes allowed to swear at football but not in everyday life but im sure thats not the case!. Its not just the fact that she was swearing it was the severity of it. | | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:54 - Oct 6 with 391 views | djgooder |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:38 - Oct 6 by The_Romford_Blue |
Have you just compared me saying i hope you have to sit next to someone saying a swear word as Nodge fans calling to break Nunez’ legs? Surely you haven’t.
You silly goose. (I could’ve easily called you a naughty word then but I won’t because I’m a good team player and don’t want to ruin Phildinis spirit. #ThankYouRommy) |
Just you were wishing me and the OP unpleasant experience which while less extreme is broadly the same as the Nodge fans, they are naturally more extreme being Nodge. I suppose thats me being extreme in my own way.
I can accept being called a silly goose.
I don’t often respond to various topics, although have done more recently in last few weeks and months. Even when I think I have a reasonable moral stance on a subject it always surprises me how different lots of you see it.
My usual approach is just to read posts, whether it is football or something political. Usually as a group twtd covers most angles and genuinely sometimes helps me form an opinion on a subject.
I’m learning I am not as articulate as some of you in expressing my point of view! | | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:57 - Oct 6 with 379 views | The_Romford_Blue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:54 - Oct 6 by djgooder |
Just you were wishing me and the OP unpleasant experience which while less extreme is broadly the same as the Nodge fans, they are naturally more extreme being Nodge. I suppose thats me being extreme in my own way.
I can accept being called a silly goose.
I don’t often respond to various topics, although have done more recently in last few weeks and months. Even when I think I have a reasonable moral stance on a subject it always surprises me how different lots of you see it.
My usual approach is just to read posts, whether it is football or something political. Usually as a group twtd covers most angles and genuinely sometimes helps me form an opinion on a subject.
I’m learning I am not as articulate as some of you in expressing my point of view! |
I’d never encourage anyone not to post. Definitely post more.
By the same token I will always play the post not the man. I’d have responded the same had it been you or a poster who has posted 10,000 times.
For the record, I don’t think anyone has ever called me articulate so I’ll take that as a compliment | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:59 - Oct 6 with 379 views | Bigalhunter |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:38 - Oct 6 by The_Romford_Blue |
Have you just compared me saying i hope you have to sit next to someone saying a swear word as Nodge fans calling to break Nunez’ legs? Surely you haven’t.
You silly goose. (I could’ve easily called you a naughty word then but I won’t because I’m a good team player and don’t want to ruin Phildinis spirit. #ThankYouRommy) |
I’m loving this new polite way of disagreeing, as everyone temporarily treads on eggshells for a week or two, but I think we’re drifting away from the original point.
Swearing at games doesn’t bother me in the slightest but I wouldn’t be bursting with pride if my pre-teen granddaughter was the one firing out the c-bombs. |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 21:00 - Oct 6 with 379 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:52 - Oct 6 by Tractorgirlforever |
It didnt ruin my enjoyment of the game. It just shocked me to hear such words coming from a young child infront of her dad!. Ive been going to football for a very long time and heard plenty of swearing, maybe said the odd word myself!. I didnt say anything to them about it but its still allowed to genuinely shock me. I found myself trying to make excuses for her. I said to the person i was with maybe shes allowed to swear at football but not in everyday life but im sure thats not the case!. Its not just the fact that she was swearing it was the severity of it. |
I'm glad it didn't spoil the game for you - what a game to have ruined!
I do find it a bit shocking to hear young children swear, personally, but it's a case of their environment growing up.
What was the norm for me as a kid will be totally different to the next kid's experience. That child may not even have thought what they were doing was offensive to anyone around them, especially as they will have heard plenty of adults doing the same. Also, that may be normal for their household. They've possibly not ever been told that some people find swearing offensive.
So I guess it's good to put ourselves in other people's shoes if we can. Life is never black and white. And actually, saying nothing was, in my opinion, the right thing to do. [Post edited 6 Oct 21:07]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 21:02 - Oct 6 with 373 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 20:54 - Oct 6 by djgooder |
Just you were wishing me and the OP unpleasant experience which while less extreme is broadly the same as the Nodge fans, they are naturally more extreme being Nodge. I suppose thats me being extreme in my own way.
I can accept being called a silly goose.
I don’t often respond to various topics, although have done more recently in last few weeks and months. Even when I think I have a reasonable moral stance on a subject it always surprises me how different lots of you see it.
My usual approach is just to read posts, whether it is football or something political. Usually as a group twtd covers most angles and genuinely sometimes helps me form an opinion on a subject.
I’m learning I am not as articulate as some of you in expressing my point of view! |
Don't let worries about not being articulate stop you posting on here. Your views are as valid as anyone else's, however eloquently expressed. | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 01:06 - Oct 7 with 247 views | Ryorry |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:23 - Oct 6 by BanksterDebtSlave |
What do you imagine you pretty young thing? |
Had thought you were probably in your 30s given your passionate political postings. Always good to see oldies not losing that 
Thanks for your too kind words, nicest thing anyone said to me all day ;) | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 01:30 - Oct 7 with 227 views | football |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 16:20 - Oct 6 by Ryorry |
Sorry but it is and always has been football; it has its own rules and traditions -including being a place where otherwise restrained adults can let off steam with some 'industrial' language (within reason obviously). To pretend otherwise is hypocritical. If you understandably don't want your 7-year old to hear it, then maybe just stick to family stands?
By the by, a general point (not particularly aimed at you) - I feel it's a bit off for people to call others out for "bad parenting" unless they've walked a mile in that parent's shoes. Nobody else knows what's been going on in those people's lives. |
I am with this. I have a rule that my boy can use whatever language he wants at football but it stops there. My dad took the same approach with me. Right or wrong I'm happy with this. Outside of football I have never heard him utter a swear word (he may outside my earshot) |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 06:47 - Oct 7 with 188 views | ZapatasMoustache |
This is a really interesting discussion! I’ve never sworn properly in front of my mum for instance, but I use the f word for emphasis a lot in front of my mates. Never in front of my kids though. The example of the c word is fascinating though because if someone were ‘woke’ as people are putting it, they probably wouldn’t use a word that equates female genitalia with the very worst thing ever. I do think the cat is out of the bag with kids knowing all the words because of the (social) media environment but also because so many parents just pepper their sentences with swearing (even at the school gate). But I think intent/meaning is more important than vocabulary - I find a little kid saying ‘f-in hell’ or ‘what the f-‘ much less worrying than ‘I’m going to f-in kill you’ or ‘you’re a f-in whatever’. And for the record, it’s absolutely right that you can’t use slurs anymore - I don’t agree at all that it’s because if this that people fall back on the more robust four letter words. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 09:10 - Oct 7 with 98 views | Ryorry |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 06:47 - Oct 7 by ZapatasMoustache |
This is a really interesting discussion! I’ve never sworn properly in front of my mum for instance, but I use the f word for emphasis a lot in front of my mates. Never in front of my kids though. The example of the c word is fascinating though because if someone were ‘woke’ as people are putting it, they probably wouldn’t use a word that equates female genitalia with the very worst thing ever. I do think the cat is out of the bag with kids knowing all the words because of the (social) media environment but also because so many parents just pepper their sentences with swearing (even at the school gate). But I think intent/meaning is more important than vocabulary - I find a little kid saying ‘f-in hell’ or ‘what the f-‘ much less worrying than ‘I’m going to f-in kill you’ or ‘you’re a f-in whatever’. And for the record, it’s absolutely right that you can’t use slurs anymore - I don’t agree at all that it’s because if this that people fall back on the more robust four letter words. |
And that’s a very interesting post Zapatas, esp re use of the c word in this day and age. Personally I do dislike it, and never use it myself. | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 09:22 - Oct 7 with 66 views | trncbluearmy |
A lot of the words/descriptions/songs used by teenagers in the 70/80s have, through the power of the internet, been outlawed.
But it was a complete nono to swear in front of parents, teachers any authority figure.
Even in conversation with peers swearing was unusual and saved for emphasis or real annoyance.
I find any swearing by a youngster in front of the useless parents completely unacceptable. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 09:25 - Oct 7 with 52 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 18:42 - Oct 6 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
Well, I'll add my two penneth.
I was brought up not to swear, I don't like hearing it, but, working on building sites, I've gotten used to hearing it.
I do believe that most people who swear prolifically need to expand their vocabulary, as most points can be made emphatically without resorting to swearing and it is generally just good personal growth.
I don't like hearing the kind of swearing the OP discusses at football matches, and it is sad to see children learning a kind of crude tribalism that could easily lead them into really nasty chants, and even worse, if it's not kept in check.
However, every parent has the right to raise their child as they wish, as long as they adhere to the law and don't abuse them.
If that dad thinks his 11 year old girl is being well brought up and doesn't mind the potty mouth, then what can anyone else do?
It's a fine line between finding things offensive and resorting to Karen/Kevin behaviour.
So yeah, hate it myself, but it's out there, I tolerate it in silence. |
Valid points. It’s not so much the swearing that bothers me, as I’d be a massive hypocrite complaining about that because I swear like a trooper! Although you’re right that it often shows an inability to communicate effectively, but not always. What saddens me is the anger. People spitting vitriol at others, even our own players. That’s partly the crude tribalism you mention, but more than that when it’s directed at our own players. It shows a lack of emotional intelligence imo. |  |
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