| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) 11:16 - Jan 22 with 2256 views | Warkystache |
I didn't make Plymouth last week. I didn't go to Oxford in the fog either, but that's expected. I won't be at PR on Tuesday. That's two home games missed. The froth of the FA Cup next Saturday when we play Burnley? Well, Tel mentioned it, but not in terms of 'get me a bleedin' ticket'. It's apathy that rules this homestead.
Paula and I are 'taking a break'. We had a row a few weeks ago. She cried a lot and then rang her friend from work who lives in Heybridge and then packed her belongings and is staying with her friend (female, in case those of you with deviant minds wondered) indefinitely. Although, as her friend has a two-bedroom maisonette, the term 'indefinitely' can be construed however many ways you want. The friend is a bit older and divorced. They've probably constructed my voodoo doll already.
Time off sick. Rang work last week, clad in underwear and grubby t-shirt and dressing gown. They've been kind. I'm going back tomorrow. Tel called me and said I'd swung a leg long enough. Or words to that effect. He shocked me when he came round on Friday morning, armed with a pack of bottled lagers and assorted salty snacks. He swore. He never swears. The F word to him is as alien as ET's glowing finger. Ironically, the house has never been cleaner. I did it all in a poste-separation blur on Tuesday. Even washed the floors. The mophead froze rigidly on my washing pole like the late Gary Rhodes' hair.
Football takes a back seat at these moments. The fact we don't seem able to beat the skin off one of my home-cooked rice puds is just the extra misery piled upon the rest. It's all been pretty much 'Smiths Greatest Hits' at Chez Warky this last week. I couldn't face Plymouth, so I rang Tel and cancelled and we met in the pub instead and I told him what had happened the Wednesday before and he bloody laughed, then caught my face and spent the rest of the afternoon/evening/night apologising and saying banalities. This was, admittedly, quite amusing. If only I'd been in a better mood...
I can't say what we rowed about. I mean, I could, but other people's domestics are deeply dull. You don't read this for that. Suffice to say it has been coming. I'm not even that bothered by it. In a funny way, it's almost a relief to be back self-serving. Not onanistically, well, not JUST onanistically, although with no partner available, that has obviously been a factor. Having the house back, no pairs of knickers drying on radiators until they're stiff, no sharing a bed with another grunting, snoring body, no cooking for two and then her not really eating it. She hasn't rung once, which could be a bad sign or a good one. I'm thinking good, although something somewhere in me disagrees.
Tel's been a rock. A sort of seaside-y seaweed slippery and foot numbing rock admittedly, one covered in barnacles which hurt when you mis-step. The days down the local have been curtailed as my bank balance shrunk slightly, like Alice after nibbling a corner of the red pill. Paula needed money so I took £150 out in cash every day for three days and gave the lot to her sister when we met briefly at her mum's last week. Fortunately, her mum was out at some exercise thing the government lay on for the wheelchair-bound. So I missed another contemptuous overview of my shortcomings. Her sister was sympathetic. I wondered if she'd been here before.
I'm supposed to write about how miserable I am and I can't, because I'm not particularly. Yes it came as a shock. I never thought the argument was THAT bad. It didn't involve violence. It was just a frank exchange. Perhaps too frank? But enough for her to pack her things and leave. She didn't take everything. I was left half a box of Tampax and two pairs of laddered stockings. The dustmen have them now. She wouldn't want them back, surely?
The dustmen could have taken me the week before last. I'd've willingly climbed into our wheelie bin on Wednesday night, ready for collection, perhaps with a banana skin drooping over one eyebrow and a few eggshells scattered around my feet. But you get used to that feeling after a while and then it goes and you're left with a sort of vengeful emptiness, on the way to becoming you again a bit later.
Oh well. Depressing this week's one innit? A lot of people will mutter "Told him so". I suspect Tel and Mrs Tel already have. My parents don't know yet. They're likely to be shocked and I didn't want to be responsible for that, so I've avoided the parental home and contact, although my mum rang twice to invite us to Sunday Lunch today and I managed to think up a good excuse as to why we couldn't.
And the Town aid my mood or feed it by losing to Oxford United, a team we beat 3-0 in comfort just four weeks previously. And Plymouth and Sheffield Wednesday stretch clear, like thoroughbreds in a donkey derby as we begin the slow descent of the field as though suddenly lame. So it's not an easy time, this. Who knows how it'll pan out? Not me. Unless contrition and a baby are part of the plan.
Take care all.
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 11:28 - Jan 22 with 2183 views | witchdoctor |
chin up mate…you’ll be ok..these things happen for a reason..😉 |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 11:34 - Jan 22 with 2168 views | giant_stow |
Sorry to hear this Mr. Sounds like the romance is gone, reading that, although I can't help but hope you two fix things: It sounded so close to perfect for a while. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 12:28 - Jan 22 with 2058 views | EdwardStone |
Genuinely sorry to hear that news Mr Tache
Probably no consulation, but t'is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved.
Take care fella |  | | |
| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 12:47 - Jan 22 with 2024 views | Ryorry |
So sorry you've had to experience that cluster of horribleness.
Not on the same scale, but I'd already been in a gulf of misery pre yesterday's game too. On Fri night had what felt like a v-e-r-y long dream about my old dog going missing on some airport or similar external concourse, & in an upset state I'd been saying to kind strangers helping me look - 'he's always come back before when I've called, he's never gone missing like this before".
Only realised the significance about an hour after I woke up of "he's never gone missing like this before" (he died in November). Oooooooowwwwww  |  |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 12:49 - Jan 22 with 2025 views | Warkystache |
| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 12:47 - Jan 22 by Ryorry |
So sorry you've had to experience that cluster of horribleness.
Not on the same scale, but I'd already been in a gulf of misery pre yesterday's game too. On Fri night had what felt like a v-e-r-y long dream about my old dog going missing on some airport or similar external concourse, & in an upset state I'd been saying to kind strangers helping me look - 'he's always come back before when I've called, he's never gone missing like this before".
Only realised the significance about an hour after I woke up of "he's never gone missing like this before" (he died in November). Oooooooowwwwww |
Sad story Ry - hope you feel better soon. For what it's worth, Paula rang me 10 minutes ago and it was slightly more conciliatory, so who knows? | |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 12:53 - Jan 22 with 1993 views | Ryorry |
| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 12:49 - Jan 22 by Warkystache |
Sad story Ry - hope you feel better soon. For what it's worth, Paula rang me 10 minutes ago and it was slightly more conciliatory, so who knows? |
Thanks, appreciated ðŸ‘
Hope the conciliation extends, if that feels right for you.
I'd add also that if you've never tried getting your writing published for ££, you should do so - that was a superb piece. | |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 16:12 - Jan 22 with 1809 views | SitfcB |
Chins up Warky, sounded like it’s what you wanted a few reports back but always a bit sad when it actually happens, a break could relight the fire etc etc #cliche |  |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 20:26 - Jan 22 with 1585 views | runaround |
Sorry to hear that mate. Hope things work themselves out for the best whatever way that is |  | | |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 06:21 - Jan 23 with 1341 views | hype313 |
Sorry to hear its been a rough few weeks Warkers.
Sometimes a break can be a real tonic though, it gives you a chance to sit back and reassess things, if you're not that bothered and feel a sense of relief then that tells you something, equally, if you find yourself walking around like a lost dog then it might give you clarity on how you really feel.
Letting the dust settle and the emotions calm down will make any decision you make the right one going forward.
Never thought I'd say this, but a home win against Morecambe will give us all a pit of a pick me up.
Morecambe ffs, that's quite the sobering game. |  |
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| The Warky Report: Oxford United (a) on 10:46 - Jan 23 with 1173 views | J2BLUE |
Sorry to hear that mate. |  |
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