| Cheer up 16:53 - Dec 20 with 1181 views | factual_blue |
A woman brought a very limp budgerigar to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m sorry, your budgerigar, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Your budgerigar is dead,” replied the vet.
“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet sighed, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a Labrador . As the budgerigar’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the budgerigar from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead budgerigar.”
He turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The budgerigar’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “£300!” she cried, “£300 just to tell me my budgerigar is dead?!?”
The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now £300.” [Post edited 20 Dec 2020 17:13]
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| Cheer up on 17:06 - Dec 20 with 1104 views | jeera |
Dampened somewhat with the introduction of the word 'bill'.
Reading it you think, "Oh, 'bill', that's a bit of a lame ending".
So already disappointed you read on and it's just hard to come back from. |  |
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| Cheer up on 17:12 - Dec 20 with 1082 views | Meadowlark |
But how did the vet turn said dead duck into a famous soul singer?
He puts it in the microwave on full power for 10 minutes and its Bill Withers! |  | | |
| Cheer up on 17:15 - Dec 20 with 1059 views | Fixed_It |
| Cheer up on 17:06 - Dec 20 by jeera |
Dampened somewhat with the introduction of the word 'bill'.
Reading it you think, "Oh, 'bill', that's a bit of a lame ending".
So already disappointed you read on and it's just hard to come back from. |
Maybe it's beak-coz you read it wrong. |  |
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| Cheer up on 17:15 - Dec 20 with 1061 views | factual_blue |
| Cheer up on 17:06 - Dec 20 by jeera |
Dampened somewhat with the introduction of the word 'bill'.
Reading it you think, "Oh, 'bill', that's a bit of a lame ending".
So already disappointed you read on and it's just hard to come back from. |
I've magically turned the duck into a budgerigar.
Happy now?
#somepeople | |
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| Cheer up on 17:18 - Dec 20 with 1052 views | jeera |
| Cheer up on 17:15 - Dec 20 by factual_blue |
I've magically turned the duck into a budgerigar.
Happy now?
#somepeople |
I think if you'd gone with invoice, you know.
I was also a bit taken aback by the cat's restraint.
And the dog's for that matter. I had some pheasants hanging in a lean-to once and and had to almost fight off my own dogs who were practically foaming at the mouth trying to get past me to get at them.
I'd say that was the closest they ever considered actually turning on me. | |
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| Cheer up on 17:20 - Dec 20 with 1042 views | jeera |
| Cheer up on 17:15 - Dec 20 by Fixed_It |
Maybe it's beak-coz you read it wrong. |
I read it wong?
Is that some kind of casual racist joke, related to Chinese style duck or something? | |
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| Cheer up on 17:25 - Dec 20 with 1002 views | Keno |
| Cheer up on 17:15 - Dec 20 by factual_blue |
I've magically turned the duck into a budgerigar.
Happy now?
#somepeople |
should have gone with canary
rookie mistake |  |
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| Cheer up on 17:28 - Dec 20 with 990 views | factual_blue |
| Cheer up on 17:18 - Dec 20 by jeera |
I think if you'd gone with invoice, you know.
I was also a bit taken aback by the cat's restraint.
And the dog's for that matter. I had some pheasants hanging in a lean-to once and and had to almost fight off my own dogs who were practically foaming at the mouth trying to get past me to get at them.
I'd say that was the closest they ever considered actually turning on me. |
Visiting a chateau in the Loire Valley, we were treated to the sight of the hunting dogs being fed. They were happily lounging around their pen, when a bloke rocked up on a buggy, with a trailer behind. He stopped at the pen, and the dogs went mental.
He gave a whistle, and they immediately formed a semi-circle and went absolutely still and silent.
He got off the buggy, hauled a horse's leg (which looked as though it had just been removed from a living horse) into the pen, and then left, making sure he'd locked the pen behind him. All this while the dogs remained still and silent.
He gave another whistle, and the dogs descended on the horse's leg, in a scene reminiscent of Tom & Jerry when Tom and Butch the dog are fighting.
Within a very few minutes there was little more than a couple of bones left, and a pack of contented hunting dogs. | |
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| Cheer up on 17:33 - Dec 20 with 970 views | NthQldITFC |
| Cheer up on 17:25 - Dec 20 by Keno |
should have gone with canary
rookie mistake |
Rookie mistake? Failed Corvid test?
[I'll get me coat] |  |
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| Cheer up on 17:38 - Dec 20 with 959 views | jeera |
| Cheer up on 17:28 - Dec 20 by factual_blue |
Visiting a chateau in the Loire Valley, we were treated to the sight of the hunting dogs being fed. They were happily lounging around their pen, when a bloke rocked up on a buggy, with a trailer behind. He stopped at the pen, and the dogs went mental.
He gave a whistle, and they immediately formed a semi-circle and went absolutely still and silent.
He got off the buggy, hauled a horse's leg (which looked as though it had just been removed from a living horse) into the pen, and then left, making sure he'd locked the pen behind him. All this while the dogs remained still and silent.
He gave another whistle, and the dogs descended on the horse's leg, in a scene reminiscent of Tom & Jerry when Tom and Butch the dog are fighting.
Within a very few minutes there was little more than a couple of bones left, and a pack of contented hunting dogs. |
He didn't give them their own little bowls with delicately cut cubes of soft meat in gravy?
Actually, to give a dog a choice that's the way it would want to eat isn't it? At least those who got to the front first and had a bit more sway in the pack.
Generally mine weren't bad and knew to wait until I said they could eat.
But these pheasants had been hanging for 12 days and it was all just too much for them. | |
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| Cheer up on 17:39 - Dec 20 with 952 views | Keno |
| Cheer up on 17:38 - Dec 20 by jeera |
He didn't give them their own little bowls with delicately cut cubes of soft meat in gravy?
Actually, to give a dog a choice that's the way it would want to eat isn't it? At least those who got to the front first and had a bit more sway in the pack.
Generally mine weren't bad and knew to wait until I said they could eat.
But these pheasants had been hanging for 12 days and it was all just too much for them. |
what a load of kibble | |
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| Cheer up on 17:44 - Dec 20 with 935 views | jeera |
| Cheer up on 17:39 - Dec 20 by Keno |
what a load of kibble |
I didn't know that I fed my dogs kibble, but after looking it up apparently I mostly did.
That was the main part of the diet anyway, and a lot healthier than that tinned rubbish.
Eukanuba and Pro-Plan as a rule. [Post edited 20 Dec 2020 17:44]
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| Cheer up on 17:45 - Dec 20 with 931 views | NthQldITFC |
| Cheer up on 17:28 - Dec 20 by factual_blue |
Visiting a chateau in the Loire Valley, we were treated to the sight of the hunting dogs being fed. They were happily lounging around their pen, when a bloke rocked up on a buggy, with a trailer behind. He stopped at the pen, and the dogs went mental.
He gave a whistle, and they immediately formed a semi-circle and went absolutely still and silent.
He got off the buggy, hauled a horse's leg (which looked as though it had just been removed from a living horse) into the pen, and then left, making sure he'd locked the pen behind him. All this while the dogs remained still and silent.
He gave another whistle, and the dogs descended on the horse's leg, in a scene reminiscent of Tom & Jerry when Tom and Butch the dog are fighting.
Within a very few minutes there was little more than a couple of bones left, and a pack of contented hunting dogs. |
I was (genuinely) waiting for a punchline at the end of that! :) | |
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| Cheer up on 17:46 - Dec 20 with 923 views | jeera |
| Cheer up on 17:45 - Dec 20 by NthQldITFC |
I was (genuinely) waiting for a punchline at the end of that! :) |
Bill Stickers is innocent! | |
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| Cheer up on 18:37 - Dec 20 with 831 views | factual_blue |
| Cheer up on 17:45 - Dec 20 by NthQldITFC |
I was (genuinely) waiting for a punchline at the end of that! :) |
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| Cheer up on 18:59 - Dec 20 with 795 views | Keno |
| Cheer up on 17:44 - Dec 20 by jeera |
I didn't know that I fed my dogs kibble, but after looking it up apparently I mostly did.
That was the main part of the diet anyway, and a lot healthier than that tinned rubbish.
Eukanuba and Pro-Plan as a rule. [Post edited 20 Dec 2020 17:44]
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Ours get Canagan (or something like that) | |
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