| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. 16:11 - Aug 30 with 3601 views | FBI |
Okay, this is here because none of my colleagues will see it so I can talk freely.
I was made redundant in January 2021 after 15 years with the National Trust. Three months ago I landed a slightly better job in my local Museum, run by the District Council but mostly autonomous, as Operations Manager. All good: nothing I can't handle and all stuff I'm good at. Something I didn't expect to get at 55.
Thing is, it's making me ill. Last week I turned around and went home for two days. Couldn't cope or face being there.
The place is a sh!tshow: poorly managed and with a small team who're suffering badly from Stockholm Syndrome. They've stopped caring that it's crap and have disconnected. I can see a hundred ways to get it run better but have neither the authority nor the support to do it, despite fine words further up the food chain. Systems are clunky, little is done well and nobody wants to change. Plus I think one of my direct reports is passive-agressively resisting me although I can't prove it.
I finally cracked and told the wife at the weekend, who had seen it coming but of course it's not as though I can just quit, not under the current economic climate anyway. She's being lovely about it but there isn't really a practical way out just yet so I have to soldier on for now although I've started looking at other jobs.
For the first time ever, I'm a bloody mess and it's not a pleasant feeling. Anyone else been in a similar situation got any tips on ways to get past this? |  |
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| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:45 - Aug 30 with 519 views | BlueandTruesince82 |
| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:07 - Aug 30 by NewcyBlue |
That is a fantastic book!
Turn this ship around by L David Marquet. Some brilliant management ideas in there.
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin.
Two books I recommend to all my officers and cadets. |
I'm yet to read it, it's been on my list for a while, but following your hearty recommendation I'll maybe pick up a copy at the weekend if Waterstones have it |  |
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| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:51 - Aug 30 with 506 views | Swailsey |
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. Am happy to lend an ear if you need to vent: feel free to PM, but no pressure.
If not, try and stay positive, think about transferable skills, get yourself on LinkedIn and look at jobs if you’re not already.
You’ll get through. |  |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:52 - Aug 30 with 503 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 17:05 - Aug 30 by lowhouseblue |
i agree with this. tell yourself you're a consultant and write a report on what's wrong, what's write and how changes could be made. even if they don't like it you've taken control of your own situation and made your position into a positive. in the short-term it provides you with a narrative as to why you're there. it uses your skills and your brain, and let's you take the initiative. it's proactively making a silk purse out of that other thing. |
There is so much about "what's write" that is so wrong!
Nice thread though. |  |
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| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:52 - Aug 30 with 498 views | fab_lover |
Hi there, first of all, as others have said, no need to be embarrassed about this. Asking for help is always - always - better than suffering in silence.
I like where I work, but I'd do things differently there, of course I would. And I see not just mistakes being made, but then acknowledged, and then repeated. Great big expensive mistakes, which urks me when my job is to get more money in; which then isn't spent the way I'd spent it.
A former employee said of the people running the place - "it's their trainset, and you either accept that or move on". I've accepted it. It's not that I don't care now, it just "is what it is" and so, like the alcoholic's prayer of serenity, it's about me caring about those things I have the power to change. You said it yourself - "I have neither the authority or the support" and without those two things, you're going to get nowhere.
So, as I see it, you have three choices:
1) Obviously, jump ship. Issue is, to where, will the next place be any better, etc. Only you can decide on that one;
2) Do what others have suggested, go "up the chain of command" with your suggestions, but frankly after 3 months, you're the new guy. It could blow up in your face, it might not, but it's a risk.
3) Do your job. Care about those things you can actually do / change and STOP CARING about those you can't. Another phrase comes to mind "not your circus, not your monkeys", and another - "you could be down the mines". That's not belittling your situation, but it puts it into context, maybe. It could, sadly, always be worse.
In your shoes, I would try (3) and then also (1), but making very sure you're not jumping from frying pan to fire.
You and I are the same age; I'd say just keep your head down, and don't worry about those things you can't control. Remember, at the end of our lives, work should be the thing you care about the least in terms of working out your "score". Happiness, the love of family and friends, and not being a C unit are the most important things of all.
Best of luck sir - "don't let the b***ers grind you down" ! |  | | |
| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 20:08 - Aug 30 with 459 views | jontysnut |
You're never too young to suffer from poor mental health and its never too late to address it. I was 58 and after 30 years suddenly found that I'd lost all self confidence and self esteem at work, started to put things off and stressed about the things I'd put off which made me even more ill. A vicious circle. I'm of that generation where I don't like to talk about myself but my GP put me on to a voluntary service run by people like me and it really helped. Perhaps something similar might help, an Andys Mens Club or something like that. Non judgemental people like me who had been through the same thing. Work also has a duty of care and perhaps through HR you could work through a stress reduction plan. What are the stressors and what can be done to mitigate them. That also helped me and the organisation to get me doing more of the things I was good at. Hope things turn out OK. [Post edited 30 Aug 2022 20:22]
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| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 20:11 - Aug 30 with 461 views | NBVJohn |
| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:33 - Aug 30 by FBI |
More awesomeness. Thank you all xx |
As you’ve been in post for 3 months now you have had time to form opinions and views that you can validate. Now would be a good time to present a measurable itemised action plan to the boss that details the improvement needed, the benefits, dependencies, timescales. estimated costs and who is responsible. You cannot do this alone, so I often use the RACI (responsible, accountable, consulted, informed) principle in order to get traction and maintain support and visibility. If you get buy in from seniors you then have leverage to manage any under performance in your team.
If there’s no interest, you’ll at least know where you stand and you can take steps to find an employer worthy of your commitment.
On the subject of your team have you spoken to them to understand their resistance? Sometimes the real reasons can surprise you - keep an open mind and talk to them collectively and individually. Understand and evaluate barriers but take a hard line on lazy attitudes to change.
Above all be approachable, professional, resilient and authentic. You are only trying to do something to the best of your ability. What’s wrong with that? Good luck and keep going! |  | | |
| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 21:08 - Aug 30 with 414 views | factual_blue |
| New job stress: serious and frankly slightly embarrassing post. on 19:23 - Aug 30 by jeera |
May I also add part of me was a little disappointed to find you're not in the FBI.
Just putting it out there. |
Unless all of this is just a cover story..... |  |
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