| Making Preparations for Streaming 14:54 - Mar 12 with 1585 views | TheSelkirk |
In the event that I am forced to watch upcoming Town games through a streaming service, I am making preparations to ensure that I can still achieve the full match day experience when in my home.
I have therefore arranged the following:
1. The neighbour to my left has agreed to bang a drum incessantly, with little rhythm, and sing inappropriate songs revolving around male genitalia. Given that this is the rectory I am particularly grateful.
2. The neighbour to my right will shout obscenities at those in other houses but direct particular abuse at numbers 4 and 8
3. The family directly across from me will simply sit in silence bar the odd tut or two. They will also clap politely when the stream has completed.
4. My grandmother and great aunt will sit behind me (on the sofa) and spend 90 minutes or so telling me to sit down. They will also complain about the foul language.
5. The wife will prepare snacks and beer. She will then ensure that I have to wait for these for at least 20 minutes before telling me they are not available.
6. There will be a long queue for my toilet consisting of largely unhappy people and a couple of smokers. When my turn does eventually come, I have arranged for two burly chaps to stand either side of me to splash copious amounts of urine on my jacket sleeves.
7. Grandmother and great aunt will complain when I am a little late returning to the room
8. The postman will look in from outside and tell me that this is just a blip, things are on the up and I am not a real fan. He will also advise that I have no God given right to have my post.
Have I covered everything?
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 14:58 - Mar 12 with 1531 views | TheTrueBlue1878 |
A punchbag with Lambert's head on it does the trick.
Have done it many of time over the previous 26 games, works a treat. |  |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:00 - Mar 12 with 1506 views | J2BLUE |
Two grown men sitting behind you will spend 33 minutes of the first half discussing Strictly or something equally pointless. |  |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:03 - Mar 12 with 1486 views | TheSelkirk |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:00 - Mar 12 by J2BLUE |
Two grown men sitting behind you will spend 33 minutes of the first half discussing Strictly or something equally pointless. |
Good point. Probably also need people on their phones! | | | |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:10 - Mar 12 with 1445 views | OhDavidMcgoldrick |
After the game I will go and sit in my car for 30 minutes, edging slowly forward on the clutch just to replicate getting out of my regular car park |  |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:12 - Mar 12 with 1427 views | Pendejo |
Half time - local kids kicking a ball into an car's open sun roof? |  |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:22 - Mar 12 with 1402 views | AlexGreen |
Have some one trigger their car alarm at half time, to remind you what to do in an emergency. |  |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:28 - Mar 12 with 1366 views | BlueBadger |
Get the kids to sit in front of you, filming the the stream on their phones. |  |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:35 - Mar 12 with 1338 views | BlueBadger |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:28 - Mar 12 by BlueBadger |
Get the kids to sit in front of you, filming the the stream on their phones. |
For added authenticity, make sure one of them is a skinny, gobby, spotty teenager who spends an hour before and after filming himself issuing threats to someone on the other side of the street who can't hear them. [Post edited 12 Mar 2020 15:35]
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 17:01 - Mar 12 with 1253 views | monty_radio |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 15:03 - Mar 12 by TheSelkirk |
Good point. Probably also need people on their phones! |
Failing that, you'll have to forego watching the entire game so that you can concentrate on the phone yourself, while turning occasionally to any bystander to inform them that Shrewsbury have equalised. And on no account depart into the kitchen until the fist pump has been executed. | |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 17:51 - Mar 12 with 1190 views | TheSelkirk |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 17:01 - Mar 12 by monty_radio |
Failing that, you'll have to forego watching the entire game so that you can concentrate on the phone yourself, while turning occasionally to any bystander to inform them that Shrewsbury have equalised. And on no account depart into the kitchen until the fist pump has been executed. |
Aah, forgot the fist pump - then again, I suspect many of us have. | | | |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 17:54 - Mar 12 with 1184 views | J2BLUE |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 17:51 - Mar 12 by TheSelkirk |
Aah, forgot the fist pump - then again, I suspect many of us have. |
Tell the wife she needs to give you a fist pump. That way you might get some authentic football violence. | |
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| Making Preparations for Streaming on 18:10 - Mar 12 with 1149 views | Doctor_Earman |
A test alarm going off at half-time to remind you that it indicates an important announcement in the event you need to evacuate. | | | |
| Making Preparations for Streaming on 20:45 - Mar 12 with 1013 views | skyblue23 |
Put giant arrows on your walls pointing to the exits so when the ball goes out for a corner you don’t get stuck. |  |
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