| Gene Hackman death 15:52 - Apr 15 with 1871 views | blueasfook |
So it transpires his wife died first of a respiratory illness caused by hantavirus (a disease spread by rodents), he then died about a week or so later as he was totally dependent on her, being in the advanced stages of dementia.
Very sad :(
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| Gene Hackman death on 16:02 - Apr 15 with 1757 views | positivity |
extremely so.
speaks to the isolation of a lot of dementia sufferers and their carers; look out for your neighbours! |  |
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| Gene Hackman death on 17:49 - Apr 15 with 1452 views | textbackup |
Blows my mind that a famous actor wouldnt have people contacting/checking in on him regularly.
Really sad |  |
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| Gene Hackman death on 17:56 - Apr 15 with 1408 views | Wacko |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:49 - Apr 15 by textbackup |
Blows my mind that a famous actor wouldnt have people contacting/checking in on him regularly.
Really sad |
It reminds me of something I heard from a nurse at a hospice, how a lot of people’s reasons for having kids (obviously not exclusively) is to “have someone who cares for / looks after me when I’m old.” She said that so many old people she looked after - with loads of kids and grandkids - never had any visitors. | |
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| Gene Hackman death on 17:57 - Apr 15 with 1404 views | ronnyd |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:49 - Apr 15 by textbackup |
Blows my mind that a famous actor wouldnt have people contacting/checking in on him regularly.
Really sad |
He had three kids, what were they doing? Unless they were estranged of course. | | | |
| Gene Hackman death on 18:17 - Apr 15 with 1309 views | Ryorry |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:56 - Apr 15 by Wacko |
It reminds me of something I heard from a nurse at a hospice, how a lot of people’s reasons for having kids (obviously not exclusively) is to “have someone who cares for / looks after me when I’m old.” She said that so many old people she looked after - with loads of kids and grandkids - never had any visitors. |
That was, I'm afraid, the reason my mother gave every time she (often) pressed me to have kids - oh, and she wanted to be a grandmother. (I never really wanted kids, not least because of congenitsal health issues).
Reasoning and facts weren't something she did, sadly, esp since my only sibling died age 29 from testicular cancer. |  |
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| Gene Hackman death on 18:18 - Apr 15 with 1307 views | MattinLondon |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:57 - Apr 15 by ronnyd |
He had three kids, what were they doing? Unless they were estranged of course. |
Some parents hide the true extent of their situation to their children regardless of how old their offspring are. |  | | |
| Gene Hackman death on 18:38 - Apr 15 with 1241 views | BlueBadger |
| Gene Hackman death on 18:18 - Apr 15 by MattinLondon |
Some parents hide the true extent of their situation to their children regardless of how old their offspring are. |
Colleague of mine had two parents who basically lived in complete squalor, totally not coping but absolutely wouldn't accept help from ANYONE, including my colleague who was an experienced nurse of 30+ years experience. Never underestimate what damage Being A Stubborn Old Bastard can do to you. [Post edited 15 Apr 19:31]
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| Gene Hackman death on 19:18 - Apr 15 with 1094 views | Radlett_blue |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:57 - Apr 15 by ronnyd |
He had three kids, what were they doing? Unless they were estranged of course. |
Plenty of people don't want to act as carers to their parents, especially as many refuse any kind of care anyway. |  |
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| Gene Hackman death on 19:18 - Apr 15 with 1090 views | stonojnr |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:49 - Apr 15 by textbackup |
Blows my mind that a famous actor wouldnt have people contacting/checking in on him regularly.
Really sad |
maybe he didnt want that from people anymore, after a lifetime of never having a moment of privacy, you dont go and live in 12 acre property in a gated community and complain about the lack of visitors.
and he was always a fiery difficult personality to get along with, alot of which he brought to his acting roles, and I doubt as his alzheimers progressed that he was any more social | | | |
| Gene Hackman death on 19:28 - Apr 15 with 1054 views | stonojnr |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:57 - Apr 15 by ronnyd |
He had three kids, what were they doing? Unless they were estranged of course. |
trying to live their lives, just as parents have to cut the apron strings and let their children into the world, those same children have to give their parents the ability to live in their own spaces too.
and its incredibly difficult too to support your parents in situations like this where their health is in terminal decline, probably as far as they were concerned he was being looked after by his wife, who was fit and healthy, and there was no issue
maybe they tried to call and got no answer but was just a regular thing that happened some days. Nobody expected the wife to suddenly die from some incredibly rare respiratory disease, such that she couldnt raise the alarm and also that Gene was then so dependent on his wife as a carer, he couldnt either. | | | |
| Gene Hackman death on 07:58 - Apr 16 with 678 views | WeWereZombies |
| Gene Hackman death on 18:38 - Apr 15 by BlueBadger |
Colleague of mine had two parents who basically lived in complete squalor, totally not coping but absolutely wouldn't accept help from ANYONE, including my colleague who was an experienced nurse of 30+ years experience. Never underestimate what damage Being A Stubborn Old Bastard can do to you. [Post edited 15 Apr 19:31]
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But being a Stubborn Old Bastard does give you a warm feeling inside, and we always have the TWTD forum for company... |  |
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| Gene Hackman death on 08:00 - Apr 16 with 674 views | Cheltenham_Blue |
| Gene Hackman death on 07:58 - Apr 16 by WeWereZombies |
But being a Stubborn Old Bastard does give you a warm feeling inside, and we always have the TWTD forum for company... |
That 'warm feeling inside' means you've pi*sed yourself. |  |
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| Gene Hackman death on 08:08 - Apr 16 with 655 views | Bogblue |
| Gene Hackman death on 08:00 - Apr 16 by Cheltenham_Blue |
That 'warm feeling inside' means you've pi*sed yourself. |
Or arthritis not entirely taken over the hands yet | | | |
| Gene Hackman death on 08:31 - Apr 16 with 606 views | Churchman |
| Gene Hackman death on 17:56 - Apr 15 by Wacko |
It reminds me of something I heard from a nurse at a hospice, how a lot of people’s reasons for having kids (obviously not exclusively) is to “have someone who cares for / looks after me when I’m old.” She said that so many old people she looked after - with loads of kids and grandkids - never had any visitors. |
When my mum was in Asterbury care home and a few years later my dad in St Elizabeth’s, it struck in both instances how few visitors people got. You could always get in the car park and aside from say Easter, there was only ever those odd other visitor.
These places do a brilliant job but quite frankly can be scary, ugly. I can’t think of better words - apols. We had a routine with my mum. My dad would go in every weekday and my sister and I would do alternate weekends. Time spent depended on how she was, but I found an hour to 90 mins was enough for her. Despite no sense of time, you could tell she was getting tired.
When I visited it was her time, not mine. I dreaded walking through the doors. You’d go in the building wondering what you’d find but slap on the smile. You’d leave it with a sense of relief tbh. Tired. Sometimes you wondered why you bothered since she couldn’t remember one day to the next. But you didn’t truly know what was going through her mind, so the effort was worth it. Watching somebody disappear before your eyes bit by bit is not easy.
That was our take, as was how we dealt with my dad at the end of his life. It was about as hard a thing to deal with as it gets, but I always held the view that if one day we could look in the mirror and say we’d done our best, that’d be enough. I standby that.
I can though understand why people shy away. Competing demands on time, fear of what they’ll find, dislike, you name it. I’m nobody’s judge as it’s for those people to decide if they did right by their parent, sibling etc. |  | | |
| Gene Hackman death on 08:31 - Apr 16 with 602 views | WeWereZombies |
| Gene Hackman death on 08:00 - Apr 16 by Cheltenham_Blue |
That 'warm feeling inside' means you've pi*sed yourself. |
Saves on heating... | |
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