| Am i right to be shocked by this? 07:38 - Oct 6 with 9600 views | Tractorgirlforever |
I was at the game yesterday in the top of the cobbold and i witnessed something that i think shocked me more than anything ive seen from the fans around me in almost 50years of watching football!.. on the back row, the row behind me , infact standing right behind me was a kid id say about 11 years old and the language coming from the kids mouth was absolutely shocking..not just the F word, there was the C word, w@#n*#r, a youre sha@&ing your sister chant...every possible word you could think of and not just once or twice it was non stop the whole match. I was thinking to myself in the first half how can the parent allow that. At half time i turned around to look at them and i was so shocked to see that the kid was a girl!.. id seriously through that first half thought it was a boy, not that that wouldve made it right. How could a parent allow that?. The girl was with her dad and he joined in the chants with her occasionally!. Sitting next to me was a man with his son, who was asimilar age to this girl and i just felt sorry for them having to listen to that. I know you get bad language at football, its always been the case and always will be but hearing the worst of the worst comung from an 11 year old girl with her dad did actually shock me! |  | | |  |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:52 - Oct 7 with 868 views | TRUE_BLUE123 |
I think it is terrible parenting to swear around children or allow them to swear growing up.
Surprised that anyone would think it is anything other than a bit grim to have someone that young using those words. Bad parenting.
When they get a bit older that is different. [Post edited 7 Oct 13:54]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:24 - Oct 7 with 801 views | mrfixit426 |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:52 - Oct 7 by TRUE_BLUE123 |
I think it is terrible parenting to swear around children or allow them to swear growing up.
Surprised that anyone would think it is anything other than a bit grim to have someone that young using those words. Bad parenting.
When they get a bit older that is different. [Post edited 7 Oct 13:54]
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Agreed. We have (I assume by his voice) a pre-teen behind us who swears all the way through the game. His Dad is just as bad and has a voice like nails scraping down a chalkboard. I am not offended by bad language at all, but it really spoils the match to have a child screaming at the referee, "you're a fecking c***" all afternoon.
On the odd occasion he doesn't show up, me and boy look at each other and breathe a sigh of relief. My kids don't talk like that, whether it's at football or not.
Have thought about turning round and offering my opinion, but then I won't feel comfortable having my back to someone I've pssd off for the rest of the season. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:27 - Oct 7 with 794 views | TRUE_BLUE123 |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:24 - Oct 7 by mrfixit426 |
Agreed. We have (I assume by his voice) a pre-teen behind us who swears all the way through the game. His Dad is just as bad and has a voice like nails scraping down a chalkboard. I am not offended by bad language at all, but it really spoils the match to have a child screaming at the referee, "you're a fecking c***" all afternoon.
On the odd occasion he doesn't show up, me and boy look at each other and breathe a sigh of relief. My kids don't talk like that, whether it's at football or not.
Have thought about turning round and offering my opinion, but then I won't feel comfortable having my back to someone I've pssd off for the rest of the season. |
Yep. I'm no prude but I have conversations with people now who just cannot get through a single sentence without effing and blinding. It is pretty embarrassing imo. | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:30 - Oct 7 with 786 views | SuffolkPunchFC |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:21 - Oct 7 by Coastalblue |
Agree and the point I made earlier. If somebody here came up to you and said 'How you doing you old c**t' it would be seen as a term of endearment.
I guess it's the vitriol behind what's said rather than the word in a lot of places. |
I think you're right that it's often down to context, and the surroundings.
It has also evolved over time. When I was a young kid, bvgger was considered a strong swear word (yes, I'm an old bvgger  ), but no one would think twice with its use today. [Aside : the forum profanity filter won't accept bvgger, when I wrote it out in full, which surprised me in this day and age]
As for context, I also find myself entirely comfortable with a chant emerging about the 'Ref's a c-word', but have zero tolerance for some of our fans yelling at Muric being a 'c-word'.
It's less to do with the word(s), which imo have reduced in impact over recent decades, but more to do with where and how they are used.
However, I do have some discomfort with adults using some of these words around other people's young children, although that would be no different than some of the attitudes expressed in front of other people's young children. It's ultimately down to choice - attending a football match is inevitably running a high risk of exposing children to this, and only the parents can decide if they find that acceptable. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:35 - Oct 7 with 772 views | Tractor_Buck |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:52 - Oct 7 by TRUE_BLUE123 |
I think it is terrible parenting to swear around children or allow them to swear growing up.
Surprised that anyone would think it is anything other than a bit grim to have someone that young using those words. Bad parenting.
When they get a bit older that is different. [Post edited 7 Oct 13:54]
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It's tribalism. Some people enjoy being part of the reasonably well controlled tribalism of a football stadium, some don't. But to call people like me who've introduced their child to this form of pack mentality in a managed way bad parents is wider of the mark than most of the Budgie's shots on Sunday.
My now adult son has made lifelong friendships because of that pack, across a wide range of generations. He's confident, successful and knows exactly where the line is and why it should never be crossed. At least part of that comes directly from me encouraging him to let out his youthful exuberance where it was safe and acceptable for him to do so, rather than at 11pm on a bench in a park with a bottle of White Lightning as some of his peers ended up doing. I've seen other older members of that same pack that he was part of become husbands and fathers over the past few years, and I am proud that he grew up amongst a bunch of people who have turned out to be his perfect role models.
Bad parenting? Don't make me laugh. [Post edited 7 Oct 14:39]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:50 - Oct 7 with 747 views | djgooder |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:35 - Oct 7 by Tractor_Buck |
It's tribalism. Some people enjoy being part of the reasonably well controlled tribalism of a football stadium, some don't. But to call people like me who've introduced their child to this form of pack mentality in a managed way bad parents is wider of the mark than most of the Budgie's shots on Sunday.
My now adult son has made lifelong friendships because of that pack, across a wide range of generations. He's confident, successful and knows exactly where the line is and why it should never be crossed. At least part of that comes directly from me encouraging him to let out his youthful exuberance where it was safe and acceptable for him to do so, rather than at 11pm on a bench in a park with a bottle of White Lightning as some of his peers ended up doing. I've seen other older members of that same pack that he was part of become husbands and fathers over the past few years, and I am proud that he grew up amongst a bunch of people who have turned out to be his perfect role models.
Bad parenting? Don't make me laugh. [Post edited 7 Oct 14:39]
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I don’t think it is the exposure that is the problem to me. I love football and will inevitably expose my son to this behaviour but will endeavour to get a cross to him it isn’t good so he doesn’t continue it.
I suppose my issue was the description of the OP was that the father was encouraging the bAd language. That’s what disappointed me, albeit I get the point others have made we don’t know the challenges behind closed doors.
Sounds like your son has done well, I hope to achieve what you have! |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:58 - Oct 7 with 721 views | Tractor_Buck |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:50 - Oct 7 by djgooder |
I don’t think it is the exposure that is the problem to me. I love football and will inevitably expose my son to this behaviour but will endeavour to get a cross to him it isn’t good so he doesn’t continue it.
I suppose my issue was the description of the OP was that the father was encouraging the bAd language. That’s what disappointed me, albeit I get the point others have made we don’t know the challenges behind closed doors.
Sounds like your son has done well, I hope to achieve what you have! |
Thanks buh.
I can see the point about encouragement and the thing is, it's most important that it's managed and contextualised. Whilst I encouraged him to join in if he wanted to I just made it clear that whilst it was acceptable to me at football, it wasn't acceptable away from that setting. And that bit was quite simple - the first time I heard him join in, I told him that if I heard that again outside the ground, he should expect the consequences. It boiled down to a phrase that's been used in this thread a couple of times - what happens at football stays at football. Maybe I was lucky, but it worked. [Post edited 7 Oct 15:02]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 16:04 - Oct 7 with 652 views | Ryorry |
Little gem from* ceiling TV at the dentist's earlier today -
"Children are like farts - alright if they're your own".
*Edit - it was apparently Alan Carr in 'Amanda & Alan's Italian Job'.
[Post edited 7 Oct 16:30]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 16:12 - Oct 7 with 638 views | longtimefan |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:30 - Oct 7 by SuffolkPunchFC |
I think you're right that it's often down to context, and the surroundings.
It has also evolved over time. When I was a young kid, bvgger was considered a strong swear word (yes, I'm an old bvgger ), but no one would think twice with its use today. [Aside : the forum profanity filter won't accept bvgger, when I wrote it out in full, which surprised me in this day and age]
As for context, I also find myself entirely comfortable with a chant emerging about the 'Ref's a c-word', but have zero tolerance for some of our fans yelling at Muric being a 'c-word'.
It's less to do with the word(s), which imo have reduced in impact over recent decades, but more to do with where and how they are used.
However, I do have some discomfort with adults using some of these words around other people's young children, although that would be no different than some of the attitudes expressed in front of other people's young children. It's ultimately down to choice - attending a football match is inevitably running a high risk of exposing children to this, and only the parents can decide if they find that acceptable. |
"It has also evolved over time. When I was a young kid, bvgger was considered a strong swear"
I remember as a kid when round at my grandparents for Sunday tea, my sister, when asked what she thought of the school dinners replied, "they're crap". I still remember the total look of shock on my grandmother's face  | | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 16:14 - Oct 7 with 635 views | Radlett_blue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 16:12 - Oct 7 by longtimefan |
"It has also evolved over time. When I was a young kid, bvgger was considered a strong swear"
I remember as a kid when round at my grandparents for Sunday tea, my sister, when asked what she thought of the school dinners replied, "they're crap". I still remember the total look of shock on my grandmother's face |
Hmm..my late father in law, who was a religious man, would admonish me if i said "Blimey" as he kindly pointed out that I was effectively asking the good Lord to blind me. |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 06:30 - Oct 8 with 546 views | djgooder |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 16:14 - Oct 7 by Radlett_blue |
Hmm..my late father in law, who was a religious man, would admonish me if i said "Blimey" as he kindly pointed out that I was effectively asking the good Lord to blind me. |
I went to a catholic school (possibly the root cause of all my problems), and one of the nuns gave me detention for writing codswallop in a story! | | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 06:57 - Oct 8 with 511 views | vapour_trail |
Interesting thread.
My kids are older than the one in the op, both teenagers, well the oldest one is an adult now, but they’ve both sworn at home for quite a while. We’d rather they were themselves at home.
They’ve been taught to consider how they use their language, but that’s a lot broader than application of a few words defined as swearing. And the environment they’re in, who they might offend etc, or if they’re around younger kids. If one of them was the kid in the op, they’d have got a boIIocking. Don’t see the point in some rule saying they can’t swear when you know they’re going to have their own ways of speaking when they’re with their mates.
If that makes me a bad parent in other people eyes, frankly I couldn’t give a f*^k. |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 08:50 - Oct 8 with 440 views | blueasfook |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 06:57 - Oct 8 by vapour_trail |
Interesting thread.
My kids are older than the one in the op, both teenagers, well the oldest one is an adult now, but they’ve both sworn at home for quite a while. We’d rather they were themselves at home.
They’ve been taught to consider how they use their language, but that’s a lot broader than application of a few words defined as swearing. And the environment they’re in, who they might offend etc, or if they’re around younger kids. If one of them was the kid in the op, they’d have got a boIIocking. Don’t see the point in some rule saying they can’t swear when you know they’re going to have their own ways of speaking when they’re with their mates.
If that makes me a bad parent in other people eyes, frankly I couldn’t give a f*^k. |
Little Beyonce says "that c**t is right you know dad" |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 21:00 - Oct 8 with 338 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 06:57 - Oct 8 by vapour_trail |
Interesting thread.
My kids are older than the one in the op, both teenagers, well the oldest one is an adult now, but they’ve both sworn at home for quite a while. We’d rather they were themselves at home.
They’ve been taught to consider how they use their language, but that’s a lot broader than application of a few words defined as swearing. And the environment they’re in, who they might offend etc, or if they’re around younger kids. If one of them was the kid in the op, they’d have got a boIIocking. Don’t see the point in some rule saying they can’t swear when you know they’re going to have their own ways of speaking when they’re with their mates.
If that makes me a bad parent in other people eyes, frankly I couldn’t give a f*^k. |
I think the key here is whether people refer to it as 'bad parenting' or 'different parenting'.
Going back a few generations, children were 'seen and not heard', and rigourously reminded to show respect for elders, authority figures, etc.
Times have changed, and whilst some might hanker for the old way of doing things, others feel liberated not to have to conform to those standards anymore.
Whichever side you fall on, I think as long as a parent is trying their best to guide their child to be an overall decent human being who cares about others and treats people with kindness, the other stuff like swearing/not swearing, etc is by the by and relatively insignificant. We should be able to tolerate both sides of the fence and not judge people's parenting skills on those smaller points.
As said before, I work on building sites, and really don't like bad language, but some of the potty mouthed guys on site are really genuine, lovely, kind people and some of the people I most look forward to chatting to. [Post edited 8 Oct 21:03]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 23:28 - Oct 8 with 280 views | LuciBlue |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 12:58 - Oct 6 by NedPlimpton |
Which of these headers does s*****c fall into then?
"Slang, Funny and Sarcastic" |
Slang.
I'd rather be called a sp***ic than a c**t. In fact I regularly am. |  |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 07:20 - Oct 9 with 202 views | Tractorgirlforever |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 21:00 - Oct 8 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
I think the key here is whether people refer to it as 'bad parenting' or 'different parenting'.
Going back a few generations, children were 'seen and not heard', and rigourously reminded to show respect for elders, authority figures, etc.
Times have changed, and whilst some might hanker for the old way of doing things, others feel liberated not to have to conform to those standards anymore.
Whichever side you fall on, I think as long as a parent is trying their best to guide their child to be an overall decent human being who cares about others and treats people with kindness, the other stuff like swearing/not swearing, etc is by the by and relatively insignificant. We should be able to tolerate both sides of the fence and not judge people's parenting skills on those smaller points.
As said before, I work on building sites, and really don't like bad language, but some of the potty mouthed guys on site are really genuine, lovely, kind people and some of the people I most look forward to chatting to. [Post edited 8 Oct 21:03]
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I agree totally that just because the child was swearing doesnt always mean the parent is a bad parent but on this occasion there was no respect for anybody else shown.
On a building site youre probably surrounded by the majority of adult men where at a football match there are little kids enjoying a day out with their parents and for another child to use such strong bad language i think in that situation isnt acceptable . There will always be swearing at football, that doesnt bother me but its definitely not normal for a child to use the words that she was. In almost 50 years of going to games, ive sat in all areas at portman rd and been to many away grounds and its the first time ive ever experienced that [Post edited 9 Oct 7:21]
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 08:46 - Oct 9 with 156 views | Leaky |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 21:00 - Oct 8 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
I think the key here is whether people refer to it as 'bad parenting' or 'different parenting'.
Going back a few generations, children were 'seen and not heard', and rigourously reminded to show respect for elders, authority figures, etc.
Times have changed, and whilst some might hanker for the old way of doing things, others feel liberated not to have to conform to those standards anymore.
Whichever side you fall on, I think as long as a parent is trying their best to guide their child to be an overall decent human being who cares about others and treats people with kindness, the other stuff like swearing/not swearing, etc is by the by and relatively insignificant. We should be able to tolerate both sides of the fence and not judge people's parenting skills on those smaller points.
As said before, I work on building sites, and really don't like bad language, but some of the potty mouthed guys on site are really genuine, lovely, kind people and some of the people I most look forward to chatting to. [Post edited 8 Oct 21:03]
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Agree with you, I have worked in construction all my working life while on site a lot of guy's used to "f & blind" , as soon as they left that enviroment would totally change, as with if a woman or child was nearby. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 08:54 - Oct 9 with 145 views | FromReuserWithLove |
Now hearing they are Reform voters who were later seen eating rare UK red squirrels. Scum. |  | | |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:38 - Oct 9 with 86 views | Ryorry |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 07:20 - Oct 9 by Tractorgirlforever |
I agree totally that just because the child was swearing doesnt always mean the parent is a bad parent but on this occasion there was no respect for anybody else shown.
On a building site youre probably surrounded by the majority of adult men where at a football match there are little kids enjoying a day out with their parents and for another child to use such strong bad language i think in that situation isnt acceptable . There will always be swearing at football, that doesnt bother me but its definitely not normal for a child to use the words that she was. In almost 50 years of going to games, ive sat in all areas at portman rd and been to many away grounds and its the first time ive ever experienced that [Post edited 9 Oct 7:21]
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I wonder if that child was in a non-family area for the first time because her family were unable (like you) to get any tix for the family areas, and was ‘breaking out’ as a reaction to the novelty?
Just a thought. And understand your feelings about the adult with her egging her on. | |
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| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 14:26 - Oct 9 with 57 views | Tractorgirlforever |
| Am i right to be shocked by this? on 13:38 - Oct 9 by Ryorry |
I wonder if that child was in a non-family area for the first time because her family were unable (like you) to get any tix for the family areas, and was ‘breaking out’ as a reaction to the novelty?
Just a thought. And understand your feelings about the adult with her egging her on. |
I dont sit in the family areas anyway as i dont have young children but yes maybe they couldnt get tickets in the family area. When my grandsons old enough to go to the football with me i will try and go in the family area if im risking exposing him to the type of language i heard that day! | | | |
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