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I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said “how do I look?” Would you say, bearing in mind he’s depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say “go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny”? No. You’d say ‘You look nice… John
[Post edited 2 Mar 2018 15:26]
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 15:48 - Mar 2 by Lord_Lucan
"Is that his pickup truck?" "Aye he calls it Convoy." "Convoy!? Michael you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle!"
Hey look, it’s coming to Ipswich. David Soul’s gonna be there
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 16:40 - Mar 2 by Lord_Lucan
This is from that episode when Michael draws a baby H
Alan: Are we nearly there? Michael: Move forward. Keep moving, you’re going in the right direction. That’s it. Alan: Michael, I’m not the Vietnam! I’m going to take this off. Michael: No! Leave it. Leave it for a minute. Alan: Michael, this doesn’t feel like a treat. Michael: Alright, that way. Take it off, now! There, look. I’ve made you a helicopter landing pad! Alan: It’s a small H. Michael: No, man. It’s big, look. You can see that from space, man. Alan: Michael, I don’t want aliens to see this from space. It will be embarrassing. They would look down through their giant telescope and say “look at that idiot, he’s got a baby H”. Michael: I done it, just to cheer you up, like. You know, because, the fireplace job was knackered. Apache productions is probably gonna goon down the pan, like all the other companies that you’ve started. Alan: Michael, that may wery very well be the case. But I am happy. Now, that may very wery well be because I’m on morphine. Michael: Morphine? Oh, man. They should have put an M on your foreheed. Alan: Why? Michael: That’s what you dee with battlefield casualties. You know, you put an M on their foreheed. So that the doctors know they’ve had morphine, it’s dangerous. Alan: It’s not so a little helicopter can land on your forehead? Michael: No, helicopter doesn’t begin with M, does it? Alan: I’d like that though! I’d like that. Little helicopter landing on your head, rotor blades would cool you down like a little hand fan. On your forehead. Michael: Come on, you’ve definitely had morphine, haven’t you. Alan: Yeah. Do you want some Sugar Puffs? Michael: Aye, that’d be nice. We’ll have Suagr Puffs. Alan: Ah, still thinking about the helicopters. The little helicopters. Like the beginning of MASH. That begins with an M.
Edit; That is the same one when he meets the S African and uses a door as a table isn't it. "Alan you cant", "There's no need to be like that, just because I've got a sh1t table"
Brilliant
[Post edited 2 Mar 2018 16:44]
Where did you disappear to after the murder of your children's nanny?
If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the soil, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who is also your brother.
What's your favourite Beatles album?? Tough one... I think I'd have to say - Best of the Beatles.
Waiter: Would you like a drink first? Alan: I’ll… have… a pint of bitter! Tony: Just a mineral water for me, please. Alan: Actually, I’ll have a mineral water too. Waiter: Will you be having wine with your meal? Tony: Not for me. Alan: All this wine nonsense! You get all these wine people don’t you? You know, wine this, wine that!. Let’s have a bit of red; let’s have a bit of white! Oooh that’s a snazzy bouquet! Oooh this smells of, I don’t know, basil! Sometimes you just want to say ‘sod all this wine just give me a pint of mineral water’. Tony: I don’t think wine is an elitist thing anymore. You can get good wine in Tesco’s now. I’d love to make a genuinely popular wine programme. Alan: Can I just shock you? I like wine! Despite what I just said earlier. At any one time I have nine bottles of wine in my house. Tony: Really? Alan: Interesting Fact. Tony: It’s my weakness I’m afraid, I’ve got a cellar. Alan: So have I. There’s no wine in it, you know. Couple of bikes, some smokeless fuel, and an old bag of cement. Gone hard.
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