| Thoughts 13:43 - Oct 15 with 7289 views | IH_KGF |
A lovely couple we know are getting married, and we (as a family) have been invited to their special day.
Both are extremely passionate vegans, their life, fair play.
The menu is only vegan options. I'll eat anything. The children however, of the 2 options to pick from aren't going to be touched.
We've asked them if it would be ok if they picked something off the non vegan menu (at the hotel) told straight up no.
Now, i get their position, however on our own wedding day some years back WE ensured that their dietary needs were full catered for, paying extra for them to have something not on the menu. (the only people out of 80/90 that were vegans)
To ensure the peace is kept we've said to not bother with ordering food for the kids, and before/after the food we'll take the kids away from the main event to get them something to fill their tummy's... told that isn't an option.
As I see it;
- our kids not wanting that food is OUR problem
- we've offered a suggestion to them save money
- we've taken the worry away from them
- but they are basically saying they must order food from the vegan menu, not eat it, and can't leave the room after to get food that they would like.
Starting to think i might not bother going at this rate... but the great minds of TWTD might be able to tell me otherwise.
Oh, and its strictly alcohol free, not free as in drink all you want, free as in not a drop! |  | | |  |
| Thoughts on 13:48 - Oct 15 with 2736 views | SE1blue |
This sounds like the worst wedding ever.
I wouldn't go, as they seem to have removed all the enjoyment a wedding has to offer (food and booze). |  |
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| Thoughts on 13:48 - Oct 15 with 2730 views | KingsCrossBlue |
Sounds like the worst wedding ever. I’d sack it off |  | | |
| Thoughts on 13:49 - Oct 15 with 2726 views | NedPlimpton |
Booze free and menu choices that aren't going to work for all guests doesn't sound like a great wedding
But....
It's thier day, not yours. So either get on board with how they want their day to go, or make apologies |  | | |
| You must have made that up….. on 13:50 - Oct 15 with 2717 views | Bloots |
…..surely nobody can be that unreasonable!?
I know that many vegans can be absolute helmets but that’s taking it to an extreme even for that crowd.
It depends on how much you value their friendship or how offended they are likely to be (massively by the sound of it), but I’d just turn down the invite.
Weddings without booze are a nightmare anyway, take the family to a decent steakhouse instead. |  |
| "Yeah I think you’re right, yet again….” - TWTD User (Oct 2025) |
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| Thoughts on 13:52 - Oct 15 with 2687 views | DanTheMan |
Eh, I can see where they are coming from. When I had my wedding a few years back, we could only have X number of choices in terms of what we could offer so the kitchen could handle it, there was no going off menu. The only exception we made was for one person who is an incredibly fussy eater and we asked the place if they wouldn't mind basically just sizing up a kids meal which they were fine with.
With that said, I don't understand why they could just not eat and you feed them later as you suggested. |  |
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| Thoughts on 13:55 - Oct 15 with 2630 views | Roburmsyenna |
lots of COVID going around your estate ;-) |  |
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| Thoughts on 13:56 - Oct 15 with 2621 views | leitrimblue |
Sounds like the wedding from hell. Can only hope their marriage isn't as depressing as the wedding |  | | |
| Thoughts on 13:56 - Oct 15 with 2618 views | DJR |
Perhaps something like rolls will be on the table. My kids when younger were always happy with that if there was nothing else they fancied.
And maybe they will be able to manage a dessert.
You could also order a kids' menu, and put some of it on your plate to make it look like they've had a go.
You might also have an entertaining time discussing the matter with people who feel the same as you. It certainly could be an ice-breaker! [Post edited 15 Oct 14:01]
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| Thoughts on 13:59 - Oct 15 with 2592 views | CaptainAhab |
I'd be packing a sandwich and a hip flask if I were you | | | |
| You must have made that up….. on 13:59 - Oct 15 with 2585 views | IH_KGF |
| You must have made that up….. on 13:50 - Oct 15 by Bloots |
…..surely nobody can be that unreasonable!?
I know that many vegans can be absolute helmets but that’s taking it to an extreme even for that crowd.
It depends on how much you value their friendship or how offended they are likely to be (massively by the sound of it), but I’d just turn down the invite.
Weddings without booze are a nightmare anyway, take the family to a decent steakhouse instead. |
to nick a phrase.... sweardown! | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:00 - Oct 15 with 2583 views | Meadowlark |
Don't go. It's supposed to be a wedding, not a fascist indoctrination ritual.
I haven't eaten meat for 40 years, but that's my choice. I'm willing to discuss my reasons, but not force them down your throat, if you'll pardon the pun! |  | | |
| Thoughts on 14:01 - Oct 15 with 2576 views | IH_KGF |
| Thoughts on 13:59 - Oct 15 by CaptainAhab |
I'd be packing a sandwich and a hip flask if I were you |
I've seen no rules around drinking before the wedding, they've asked for this really | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:03 - Oct 15 with 2541 views | leitrimblue |
| Thoughts on 13:59 - Oct 15 by CaptainAhab |
I'd be packing a sandwich and a hip flask if I were you |
I'd go for the hip flask and pockets full of mini savoury sausages and cheese and pineapple cubes on cocktail sticks. Least then by the time their playing Agadoo at the end of the night it might feel like you've been to a wedding | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:04 - Oct 15 with 2541 views | IH_KGF |
| Thoughts on 14:00 - Oct 15 by Meadowlark |
Don't go. It's supposed to be a wedding, not a fascist indoctrination ritual.
I haven't eaten meat for 40 years, but that's my choice. I'm willing to discuss my reasons, but not force them down your throat, if you'll pardon the pun! |
I remember when she turned, sat in my house as I ate my dinner, and said "would you butcher (dogs name) for that plate of food?"
Went and got a pint of milk to drink in front of her after that. Then politely asked that she never questions what i eat unless in her home. Thinking about it, this is 10 years in the making isn't it! | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:08 - Oct 15 with 2499 views | BloomBlue |
Clearly this 'lovely' couple arent as lovely as you assume if they're basically saying you cannot take kids away from the main event.
Personally I would take them away, and if the 'lovely' couple told me no, I would lovingly tell them to f**k off. My 2nd option would be buy a couple of sausage rolls from Greggs on the way there, stick them in Mrs Bs bag and during the meal get them out for the kids to eat. 3rd option (ok a bit childish) would be a stomach churning curry the night before for the kids, then after eating the vegan mush, lots of loud stinking farts, and as everybody moans about it just hold up your hands and say 'sorry the kids don't normally eat rabbit food, its cleary given them uncontrollable wind'
4th and final option would be tell them straight, we're not attending because at our wedding we made sure everyone was catered for including your vegan needs, as you're incapable of offering the same, its a No from us.
I understand its difficult but forcing people to eat something that they dont want at a wedding is a bit unfair. |  | | |
| Thoughts on 14:10 - Oct 15 with 2486 views | Pippin1970 |
I work on a farm . You can borrow some chickens and pigs . Definitely be entertaining 😂. | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:15 - Oct 15 with 2446 views | leitrimblue |
| Thoughts on 14:10 - Oct 15 by Pippin1970 |
I work on a farm . You can borrow some chickens and pigs . Definitely be entertaining 😂. |
Might get a bit messy if he as to butcher and process um on the dance floor Pip. Could you not just send him over an emergency food parcel of nuggets and sausages? | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:20 - Oct 15 with 2414 views | mrfixit426 |
Abort. Sounds ghastly. |  | | |
| Thoughts on 14:22 - Oct 15 with 2396 views | DropCliffsNotBombs |
| Thoughts on 14:20 - Oct 15 by mrfixit426 |
Abort. Sounds ghastly. |
Too late, the kids are invited to the wedding also. |  | | |
| Thoughts on 14:22 - Oct 15 with 2392 views | Daninthecampo |
Wow as a wedding caterer I've never heard anything like this before, we always offer a kid friendly menu if asked. As a matter of interest what are the 2 vegan options?
After the meal they'll be so occupied by the whole day they won't notice you slip out to feed the kids. Unless of course they put trackers on you all!
Dry weddings are also very rare, we did a big Muslim wedding last year,none of the couples family drank but they still provided wine for the 20 odd non muslims | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:23 - Oct 15 with 2385 views | mrfixit426 |
| Thoughts on 14:22 - Oct 15 by DropCliffsNotBombs |
Too late, the kids are invited to the wedding also. |
I can't believe you went there! 😂 | | | |
| Thoughts on 14:25 - Oct 15 with 2362 views | Ryorry |
| Thoughts on 13:52 - Oct 15 by DanTheMan |
Eh, I can see where they are coming from. When I had my wedding a few years back, we could only have X number of choices in terms of what we could offer so the kitchen could handle it, there was no going off menu. The only exception we made was for one person who is an incredibly fussy eater and we asked the place if they wouldn't mind basically just sizing up a kids meal which they were fine with.
With that said, I don't understand why they could just not eat and you feed them later as you suggested. |
At least you made an exception.
What are this couple going to do for anyone who has medical issues with their gut like Crohns, and can't eat vegan food because of the high fibre content or allergies? Tell them they're uninvited? Bad enough to have the health issues in the first place.
Maybe as already mentioned they're not such a "lovely couple" after all ... |  |
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| Thoughts on 14:26 - Oct 15 with 2359 views | GlasgowBlue |
On a side note my kids ( I say kids, they are 18, 23, 23 & 25) are threatening to boycott Christmas dinner because we are serving a vegan Beef Wellington. |  |
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| Thoughts on 14:26 - Oct 15 with 2359 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
I have personal and professional experience of people getting a manic tunnel vision over their wedding plans.
Can they see the bigger picture? No, they can't.
They would be more likely to think that you are being awkward, and can't you understand how stressed they are with planning the wedding already and now you are making it more difficult etc etc.
That's how I read it.
They simply don't understand that your duty to your children (who will have to attend a very long, very boring adult event and be fed on the timescale that works for their body clocks to have ANY chance of "behaving themselves") far outweighs your duty to them, even though they will naturally assume that you, and everybody else, should make them the focus of your whole attention on their big day.
It's a very special kind of tunnel vision that takes a hold of people!
If you value the friendship then sign the kids up for the meal choices that they are likely to at least be able to try some of. And take a packed lunch for the kids, in case they eat very little of it. But if you really care about the friendship, make a packed lunch that is 100% Vegan. So sandwiches with a sunflower or olive oil spread like Flora, with a filling that is 100% Vegan certified: many jams, some chocolate or nut spreads. Alternatively put their favourite vegetables in with their favourite (Vegan) sauce in a pitta or tortilla wrap.
Do your kids like Supermarket Onion Bhajis or Pakoras? Or Falafel and Hummus?
There are some Vegan chocolate bars which get good reviews.
Dried fruit (Sunmaid raisin boxes etc) or fresh fruit are obvious options.
If your children have dietary restrictions then this could be a nightmare, obviously.
The alternative is for one of you or your partner to go to the wedding, and for the other to have the kids for the day and do something focused on them. | | | |
| “It’s Murder on The Dancefloor….. on 14:26 - Oct 15 with 2348 views | Bloots |
| Thoughts on 14:15 - Oct 15 by leitrimblue |
Might get a bit messy if he as to butcher and process um on the dance floor Pip. Could you not just send him over an emergency food parcel of nuggets and sausages? |
….and you’d better not drink some booze” | |
| "Yeah I think you’re right, yet again….” - TWTD User (Oct 2025) |
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