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Never underestimate a cow 15:07 - May 15 with 5424 viewsGeoffSentence

Those feckers are fast.

I got chased by a herd today.

I knew these cows were a bit jittery, but I thought I had plenty of room to give them a wide berth and my path took me round their field towards a footbridge and away from where they were stationed. So my route took me away from them.

A couple of watch cows spotted me but didnt pay to much attention, just gave me the stink eye. But as I stopped to look at a song thrush in a bush I heard a rumbling behind me. The calves had decided to stampede and their mothers went with them. They were heading towards my exit point which was the footbridge, and the rear guard was closer to my entry point than I was at this point. They were hurtling in my direction and my only way to escape was to hop over a barbed wire fence and jump a stream into the next field.

The stream was about 5 foot wide, which is quite a way for a standing jump, but I got over and noticed that the gate to this field was open , the cows were streaming over the footbridge and heading towards it. I had to flee as fast as I could across the field and hide in a foxes den under a tree before they saw me. When I got my breath back I was able to climb over a fence and walk safely along the hedge line without them seeing me. But then there was a break in the hedge where there was nothing but a strand or two of barbed wire. The feckers saw me again and came charging after me . I am just glad that they dont like barbed wire because it would not have taken much for them to knock through it if they wanted.

They are pretty smart too. The advance guard , having blocked off my access to my footbridge exit earlier, then headed straight for the gate where the footpath would take me.



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Never underestimate a cow on 15:09 - May 15 with 2879 viewshoppy

Sounds like you're building up your problems there.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:11 - May 15 with 2857 viewsGavTWTD

You sure they weren't velociraptors?

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:12 - May 15 with 2856 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

You hid in a foxes' den?! This sounds like a story from The Famous Five.

Trust the process. Trust Phil.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:19 - May 15 with 2808 viewshoppy

Never underestimate a cow on 15:11 - May 15 by GavTWTD

You sure they weren't velociraptors?


Is that something to do with cyclists?

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:19 - May 15 with 2810 viewsleitrimblue

Feck Geoff, you've made an enormous error here. By running off and showing signs of fear, the entire cow population are now on to ye.

You just gotta hope they don't share the information with sheep or any other potentially hostile livestock..
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Never underestimate a cow on 15:20 - May 15 with 2804 viewsbluelagos

Do a lot of countryside walking and only ever seen one herd stampede, would defo cause major injury or death to anyone in the way.

They kill lots of people each year, easily spooked by dogs apparently.

Also been chased by a llama (they are horrible fckers) and had a face off with a deer once. Neither nice encounters.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:22 - May 15 with 2773 viewsleitrimblue

Never underestimate a cow on 15:20 - May 15 by bluelagos

Do a lot of countryside walking and only ever seen one herd stampede, would defo cause major injury or death to anyone in the way.

They kill lots of people each year, easily spooked by dogs apparently.

Also been chased by a llama (they are horrible fckers) and had a face off with a deer once. Neither nice encounters.


How'd you fight the deer lagos? Windmill straight onto it and hope for the best?
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Never underestimate a cow on 15:25 - May 15 with 2745 viewsIllinoisblue

🎶. I'm building up my problems to the size of a cow
No, oh, oh, oh, oh the size of a cow. 🎶🎶

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:28 - May 15 with 2727 viewsGeoffSentence

Never underestimate a cow on 15:11 - May 15 by GavTWTD

You sure they weren't velociraptors?


Yes I had a clear view of their claws, no extra long one.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:30 - May 15 with 2700 viewsGeoffSentence

Never underestimate a cow on 15:19 - May 15 by leitrimblue

Feck Geoff, you've made an enormous error here. By running off and showing signs of fear, the entire cow population are now on to ye.

You just gotta hope they don't share the information with sheep or any other potentially hostile livestock..


Funnily enough, the cows in the field on the other side of th road are completely different young ladies, polite, docile and friendly. I wonder if the presence of a bull in their field makes them feel more secure.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:30 - May 15 with 2694 viewshoppy

Never underestimate a cow on 15:25 - May 15 by Illinoisblue

🎶. I'm building up my problems to the size of a cow
No, oh, oh, oh, oh the size of a cow. 🎶🎶


AH... I missed the 🎶🎶 on my earlier reply, so I have to bow to your more tuneful response.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:31 - May 15 with 2690 viewsKeno

Careful some herds are dangerous


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Never underestimate a cow on 15:32 - May 15 with 2662 viewsGavTWTD

Never underestimate a cow on 15:28 - May 15 by GeoffSentence

Yes I had a clear view of their claws, no extra long one.


You should have shouted "Look! A cloud!"

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:33 - May 15 with 2662 viewshoppy

Never underestimate a cow on 15:31 - May 15 by Keno

Careful some herds are dangerous



Others weren't so much...


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Never underestimate a cow on 15:33 - May 15 with 2651 viewsIllinoisblue

Never underestimate a cow on 15:30 - May 15 by hoppy

AH... I missed the 🎶🎶 on my earlier reply, so I have to bow to your more tuneful response.


You were more subtle than I. Be singing it all day now…

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:40 - May 15 with 2600 viewshoppy

Never underestimate a cow on 15:33 - May 15 by Illinoisblue

You were more subtle than I. Be singing it all day now…


Right from when I saw the subject title it was in mine too!

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:45 - May 15 with 2565 viewsbluelagos

Never underestimate a cow on 15:22 - May 15 by leitrimblue

How'd you fight the deer lagos? Windmill straight onto it and hope for the best?


Was in a park in London during rutting season. He cornered me, with my good looks i think he saw me as a potential mate.

Sht myself and hid behind a tree. It was that or give him a blowie and hope that satisfied him 😯

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:56 - May 15 with 2518 viewstextbackup

Couple of fields full of them down Playford way where I walk the dogs. A massive Bull in one of the fields too… no signs up either, which I thought was a legal requirement.

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Never underestimate a cow on 15:58 - May 15 with 2522 viewsGeoffSentence

map showing the events of the battle of the meadow


Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
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Never underestimate a cow on 16:03 - May 15 with 2482 viewsGeoffSentence

Never underestimate a cow on 15:12 - May 15 by The_Flashing_Smile

You hid in a foxes' den?! This sounds like a story from The Famous Five.


My route through hedge was via the entrance to a foxes den, I sat in there keeping a low profile and getting my breath back.

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Never underestimate a cow on 16:09 - May 15 with 2444 viewsRyorry

Never underestimate a cow on 15:45 - May 15 by bluelagos

Was in a park in London during rutting season. He cornered me, with my good looks i think he saw me as a potential mate.

Sht myself and hid behind a tree. It was that or give him a blowie and hope that satisfied him 😯


Be careful, very careful, not to wear blue or red in the turkey mating season should there be any stray wild ones round Lunnon way

If you look carefully you'll see those are the colours of their wattles at that time, a lure for the lovely females, & you'll be seen as a rival who needs attacking - and an 18lb adult can do some damage when coming full speed at you, speaking from personal experience ...

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Never underestimate a cow on 16:10 - May 15 with 2443 viewsMattinLondon

Never underestimate a cow on 15:56 - May 15 by textbackup

Couple of fields full of them down Playford way where I walk the dogs. A massive Bull in one of the fields too… no signs up either, which I thought was a legal requirement.


Think it depends on how old the bull is, or what type he is and whether there any cows or heifers with him.
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Never underestimate a cow on 16:13 - May 15 with 2417 viewsjontysnut

"Have you run with the bulls in Pamplona?"

"No but I've legged it from some cows in Sweffling".
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Never underestimate a cow on 16:24 - May 15 with 2381 viewsCafe_Newman

Never underestimate a cow on 15:58 - May 15 by GeoffSentence

map showing the events of the battle of the meadow



Posts like this are why I keep coming back to the TWTD forum.
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Never underestimate a cow on 16:41 - May 15 with 2278 viewshoppy

Never underestimate a cow on 15:58 - May 15 by GeoffSentence

map showing the events of the battle of the meadow



Where was the curry?

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