| Work life balance who does it ? 06:54 - Nov 7 with 3013 views | Pippin1970 |
Currently do two jobs and do financially well off them. Problem is get exhausted and loose out socially . Getting to point of change. What does everyone else do. |  | | |  |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 07:10 - Nov 7 with 2182 views | RobTheMonk |
Work is pretty chilled to be honest. Home is pretty busy with 3 year old twins. The first two years with twins my social life pretty much disappeared.
How big would your financial hit be if you either dropped one or went part-time on one if possible? |  | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:01 - Nov 7 with 2049 views | Churchman |
In my world it went through phases; varied. For certain chunks of my career I got the balance wrong. On occasions the nature of the work (projects) meant mega busy periods then less. I also spent a couple of years spending much of the week away from home. Unlike a friend of mine, I really didn’t enjoy that. It didn’t suit me, but had to be done.
In the last 15 years I got much better at it, not least because I was aware of the need and value of work life balance. Yes there was the odd period of 7 day working weeks, pressure etc, but that was ok. Improving tech also helped as I could sometimes work a day at home (unlike fridge raider Johnson, I was disciplined when doing that). I was also ok at prioritising.
You are clearly aware of the need for a work life balance. It’s a good thing and a first step. It’s important. You get one life and nothing is foreever. I also believe that getting it right makes you far more efficient in the workplace. People need switch off time - if only to reset their priorities and recharge.
It’s actually something that grates me about Mark Ashton and if I was to meet him would challenge him on. He often talks about working all hours god gives (paraphrase) like it’s a good thing. When I was mentoring/working with people at the end of my career if they came out using that as a badge of honour, I’d either ask them if they had a problem time managing or if they were very senior, ask them to be careful and make time for themselves.
That’s my take. In conclusion, be aware of W/L balance and try and get it right. You may not always but if you understand your tolerances, relationships and what makes you work efficiently, you are half way there. |  | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:16 - Nov 7 with 2016 views | lurcher |
There is a balance, you will hurt yourself.
Burnout is real, I have been there.
54 year old programme manager who worked in investment banking for too long. Spent a life commuting to London from Ipswich and moved countries to keep my career going.
You can't ever get your missed life back. Look after yourself. [Post edited 7 Nov 8:31]
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:18 - Nov 7 with 2008 views | Cheltenham_Blue |
I work as an associate head of school at the local university and the work could be, if I allowed it to be, completely incessant and overwhelming.
Whereas I used to let my job roles be exactly that, (I'd think nothing of answering emails at 10pm), I realised that If I wasn't careful it was going to put me into a box. So I made a conscious decision to put really clear boundaries into my work. I still do the amount of work required, but if I'm getting overwhelmed, I'll walk away for a bit, I'll close my laptop at 5 or 5:30 and not revisit until 9am under any circumstances.
Before that, when I was working in football, I missed out on everything, birthdays, weddings, family get togethers, some of which pretty dismal, including my own kids birthdays, because I was shooting Villa v Newcastle or doing Swindon v Aldershot so that I could photograph Paolo DiCanio for an entire game.
I'm 51 now, my old man had a total of three heart attacks and if I'm going to be really honest, I probably don't look after myself as well as I should.
If push really came to shove, I'd walk away from my job and get a job in a garden centre.
Money isn't everything, living is. |  |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:22 - Nov 7 with 1985 views | bsw72 |
Depends what you mean by balance.
Balance generally refers to a state where different elements are in proportion or harmony. It implies that things are arranged or distributed so that no one part outweighs or dominates another, creating stability or equilibrium. Balance can be quantitative (equal weights on both sides of a scale) or qualitative (a balanced approach considering multiple factors fairly).
From a quantative perspective, if you work full time (plus commute) then I think that it is hard to find a balance, but if you mean qualitative then you can do that.
I generally work up to around about 60 hours per week, always joke I am a bit of a workaholic. However, my kids are grown up and moved out and I find work gives me the challenge I need in life, so am happy to devote more time to it. Still leave time for different social activities, but don't exactly go out partying every weekend :-)
After 30+ years working my way up through 3+ large global companies, am in a senior role with well established tenure (nearly 15 years) which gives me the flexibilibility in what and when I do - as long as I meet my goals and deliverables. Have also been able to change my roles fairly regularly (probably done 10+ different roles across 2 companies in the last 25 years) to find new challenges, again being able to define my job description as I have done in my last couple of roles has helped.
My advice is that if you are getting exhausted consistently then something has to give, but obviously not everyone has that flexibility or opportunity. For me I gave up drinking and cut down on late nights about 10 years ago (xbox gaming, nights out etc) as I found that I could not do it all. |  | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:33 - Nov 7 with 1915 views | bluelagos |
Work to live or live to work? A personal choice and one we all have.
What's the point of working 2 jobs for loads of money if you're too knackered to enjoy it?
Be honest about that question and I think the answer will be clearer. What other people do - (apologies if over blunt) is hardly relevant to you and your life.
Be bold would be my advice - as no one ever died wishing they spent more time at work... |  |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:46 - Nov 7 with 1851 views | lurcher |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:22 - Nov 7 by bsw72 |
Depends what you mean by balance.
Balance generally refers to a state where different elements are in proportion or harmony. It implies that things are arranged or distributed so that no one part outweighs or dominates another, creating stability or equilibrium. Balance can be quantitative (equal weights on both sides of a scale) or qualitative (a balanced approach considering multiple factors fairly).
From a quantative perspective, if you work full time (plus commute) then I think that it is hard to find a balance, but if you mean qualitative then you can do that.
I generally work up to around about 60 hours per week, always joke I am a bit of a workaholic. However, my kids are grown up and moved out and I find work gives me the challenge I need in life, so am happy to devote more time to it. Still leave time for different social activities, but don't exactly go out partying every weekend :-)
After 30+ years working my way up through 3+ large global companies, am in a senior role with well established tenure (nearly 15 years) which gives me the flexibilibility in what and when I do - as long as I meet my goals and deliverables. Have also been able to change my roles fairly regularly (probably done 10+ different roles across 2 companies in the last 25 years) to find new challenges, again being able to define my job description as I have done in my last couple of roles has helped.
My advice is that if you are getting exhausted consistently then something has to give, but obviously not everyone has that flexibility or opportunity. For me I gave up drinking and cut down on late nights about 10 years ago (xbox gaming, nights out etc) as I found that I could not do it all. |
I think your final paragraph is on the money. As we age we have less energy. Cutting out the drinking, late nights and distractions goes a very long way. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:49 - Nov 7 with 1834 views | bluelagos |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:46 - Nov 7 by lurcher |
I think your final paragraph is on the money. As we age we have less energy. Cutting out the drinking, late nights and distractions goes a very long way. |
"Cutting out the drinking, late nights and distractions goes a very long way. "
Don't disagree - but is that supposed to cheer us up! | |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:52 - Nov 7 with 1813 views | bsw72 |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:49 - Nov 7 by bluelagos |
"Cutting out the drinking, late nights and distractions goes a very long way. "
Don't disagree - but is that supposed to cheer us up! |
I never said distractions - love a good distraction. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:54 - Nov 7 with 1798 views | lurcher |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:49 - Nov 7 by bluelagos |
"Cutting out the drinking, late nights and distractions goes a very long way. "
Don't disagree - but is that supposed to cheer us up! |
At some point it stops cheering you up. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:54 - Nov 7 with 1799 views | Churchman |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:33 - Nov 7 by bluelagos |
Work to live or live to work? A personal choice and one we all have.
What's the point of working 2 jobs for loads of money if you're too knackered to enjoy it?
Be honest about that question and I think the answer will be clearer. What other people do - (apologies if over blunt) is hardly relevant to you and your life.
Be bold would be my advice - as no one ever died wishing they spent more time at work... |
Agree totally (and upvoted), but what others do and experienced can encourage people to think about what they are doing.
Your last sentence: spot on! | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:58 - Nov 7 with 1785 views | bluelagos |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:54 - Nov 7 by lurcher |
At some point it stops cheering you up. |
Am with you - when the misery of the hangover outweighs the pleasure from a session - that's when most of us choose to slow down. | |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:06 - Nov 7 with 1739 views | bluelagos |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:54 - Nov 7 by Churchman |
Agree totally (and upvoted), but what others do and experienced can encourage people to think about what they are doing.
Your last sentence: spot on! |
Fair comment - I just sensed (maybe unfairly) a reluctance to make a decision when the OP knows what the decision is...(Apols to the OP if wrong)
So in that vain - OP - I see many people reluctant to stop or reduce their working not because they can't afford it - but because of the fear of the unknown.
Yeah, we all need purpose in life - and if your purpose is going to work (to do good things) great.
But if (like me) you at best tolerate work - then why extend it a day or an hour longer than you need to? I changed from a very well paid career and don't miss it for a second. Don't miss the politics, don't miss the greasy pole, don't miss the status.
If I did - I'd go back to the corporate world. Life is too short to be focusing on your career - focus on yourself.
That's my twopenneth - but the choice is yours - and the situation is yours. Only you know the financial implications, your family situation etc. | |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:07 - Nov 7 with 1722 views | lurcher |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 08:58 - Nov 7 by bluelagos |
Am with you - when the misery of the hangover outweighs the pleasure from a session - that's when most of us choose to slow down. |
Yes I am a few weeks in on knocking it on the head.
I think I feel better for it, physically and mentally.
Not sure about all of this getting older lark. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:14 - Nov 7 with 1688 views | MattinLondon |
I’m fortunate in the sense that the people in charge of the UK side of things where I work are quite touchy-feely - they value work life balance and are really understanding of peoples personal circumstances. Due to this, most people (including me) probably work too many hours at times to show gratitude- this probably doesn’t make sense.
Our US offices are totally different - blimey, they work proper long hours and most of them don’t even take what annual leave that they are entitled to. They also seem to want to work those long hours as well. |  | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:17 - Nov 7 with 1679 views | UB9Blue |
When I reached 60 I sold up my house in NW London and moved to Suffolk. I was in the fortunate position that I could work from home, only going to our office once a fortnight.
I don't need to work as many hours as I no longer have a mortgage to worry about and it means I can more time doing things that I want to do.
If I want to get fish n chips for lunch I drive to Felixstowe or Aldeburgh, I have been to concerts, recitals (never thought that would happen), long lunches, comedy nights and it is also now easier for speedway and footy.
I only wish I hadn't waited so long to make the move | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:23 - Nov 7 with 1646 views | WD19 |
Broad plan is to grind and then retire at 50-52. Just got to survive that long.
…..or if the budget goes too wonky I might just chuck in the towel sooner. |  | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:29 - Nov 7 with 1616 views | Churchman |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:06 - Nov 7 by bluelagos |
Fair comment - I just sensed (maybe unfairly) a reluctance to make a decision when the OP knows what the decision is...(Apols to the OP if wrong)
So in that vain - OP - I see many people reluctant to stop or reduce their working not because they can't afford it - but because of the fear of the unknown.
Yeah, we all need purpose in life - and if your purpose is going to work (to do good things) great.
But if (like me) you at best tolerate work - then why extend it a day or an hour longer than you need to? I changed from a very well paid career and don't miss it for a second. Don't miss the politics, don't miss the greasy pole, don't miss the status.
If I did - I'd go back to the corporate world. Life is too short to be focusing on your career - focus on yourself.
That's my twopenneth - but the choice is yours - and the situation is yours. Only you know the financial implications, your family situation etc. |
Don’t disagree at all. When I retired, that was that. Cover of book closed. Adjustment: one second. On to the next phase.
The concept of status always amused me. It means a lot to some including my ski buddy. But not to me. There really is no status when they bung you on a tin tray with a tag on your toe.
I found with stress that things in my head got distorted. Priorities kind of mashed up and what was unimportant became important. Just me and my weaknesses I guess but I think for some it can be a factor. As is fear, the unknown, do I have enough, dare I leave this cr@p job?
Invariably the answer is yes but of course everyone’s commitments, wants aspirations are different which makes it more important that they see it for what it is and work it through. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:38 - Nov 7 with 1602 views | baxterbasics |
I think we overcomplicate this sometimes.
Assuming from your first line you earn beyond what you need for basic necessities like shelter and food, it becomes a matter of priorities and goals.
What's going to make you happiest? It may be you feel the need for extra security in later years and decide it's worth the grind now to accumulate that. Or maybe you want to enjoy life more today.
For those of us who have to work to live, beyond that it is what is more important - money or time? |  |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:42 - Nov 7 with 1579 views | Pippin1970 |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 07:10 - Nov 7 by RobTheMonk |
Work is pretty chilled to be honest. Home is pretty busy with 3 year old twins. The first two years with twins my social life pretty much disappeared.
How big would your financial hit be if you either dropped one or went part-time on one if possible? |
Financially be ok and the age when you want downtime. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:49 - Nov 7 with 1528 views | J2BLUE |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:38 - Nov 7 by baxterbasics |
I think we overcomplicate this sometimes.
Assuming from your first line you earn beyond what you need for basic necessities like shelter and food, it becomes a matter of priorities and goals.
What's going to make you happiest? It may be you feel the need for extra security in later years and decide it's worth the grind now to accumulate that. Or maybe you want to enjoy life more today.
For those of us who have to work to live, beyond that it is what is more important - money or time? |
Completely agree. I do 32 hours.
I have zero desire to work more in my current job.
Oddly my actual passion is financial markets and investments so I regular research all that sort of thing for fun (I know...) so I **think** future J2 will be fine.
I also make a bit of money outside of work (legally).
I want to control my own time and not have to answer to anyone so the least days I am under works control the better. |  |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 10:01 - Nov 7 with 1485 views | baxterbasics |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 09:49 - Nov 7 by J2BLUE |
Completely agree. I do 32 hours.
I have zero desire to work more in my current job.
Oddly my actual passion is financial markets and investments so I regular research all that sort of thing for fun (I know...) so I **think** future J2 will be fine.
I also make a bit of money outside of work (legally).
I want to control my own time and not have to answer to anyone so the least days I am under works control the better. |
Willing to share details of some of the things you are invested in currently? (Don't worry, I won't take it as qualified financial advice!) | |
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 10:11 - Nov 7 with 1434 views | Meadowlark |
I spent the first half of my working life "offshore" and overseas. Away from home for anything between a few days to a few months. I was paid quite well but missed important milestones with the kids.
Second half and second marriage, I was not travelling so much and much more planned (and more senior role) and I was home for all (most!) the youngest's big days.
I'm retired now, but looking back I don't think there is anything I would change. I never really enjoyed going away when my kids were little and there were always tears when I left, but I had some great adventures and experiences, and I was young and resilient.
Later on, more office based stuff was a little boring but at least I was home most evenings.
There was little talk of work/life balance back in the early days, You just got on with it. You changed employer if you weren't happy. I appreciate that it's not that easy these days, but conversely companies probably have to look after you a little better than they looked after us.
That wasn't much help, really was it? I sounded a bit like one of the four Yorkshiremen off Monty Python.
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| Work life balance who does it ? on 10:12 - Nov 7 with 1434 views | DBaldy |
Lots of good responses on here, and to echo Lagos, IMO everyone should work to live and not the other way around.
In terms of finding balance, I'd suggest that the fact that you've asked the question shows you don't currently have that.
But I don't think you can necessarily aim for a balance, it just happens as a result of making changes to what you were doing previously.
I've worked in an office environment for 27 years and as I've climbed the greasy pole I naturally found myself working longer hours as responsibilities increased. In my particular line of work the COVID/lockdown periods meant I was working 11-12 hour days for months on end as opposed to the previous 8-9 hours. (but still only getting paid for 7....) But having to work from home for the first time ever, if I had a bad day (which was pretty common then) I no longer had the 45 minute drive home to de-compress and so that made things difficult at home for a while. It took me ages to realise I missed things like listening to music while commuting and just the usual office social interactions which had been part of my routine for so many years.
So when that period ended, I decided to prioritise the things I really enjoyed - concerts, beer festivals, sporting events etc, and even just going to the pub with my mates who I only see once a month now rather than every Friday, as we still tend to work from home more often than not.
But the result of all this is that while I still find myself working 9-10 hours most days, due to prioritising the things I enjoy, I've stumbled across a pretty good balance, as those regular events keep me in a good headspace for when things at work (or life in general) gets a bit much, as it gives me something to focus on and look forward to. | | | |
| Work life balance who does it ? on 10:20 - Nov 7 with 1405 views | cressi |
I'm probably a different age , but I work 26 hrs i do 2 days one week 3 the other. . I do enough to run my car , a season ticket and a couple of holidays like Greece and Turkey or similar. I could work more but for me time is much more important than more money. | | | |
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