| Most embarrassing moment of your life? 11:07 - Nov 7 with 3352 views | MrPotatoHead |
Anyone got any funny ones they want to share?
As a child I got my head stuck in the railings of Buckingham Palace once on a school trip. Put it right through for some reason, presumably to get a closer look at goings on and I couldn't wiggle it out for a good few minutes, everyone was laughing at me and I still think about it occasionally. Thankfully didn't need the fire service to cut any rails. |  | | |  |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 21:29 - Nov 7 with 812 views | Bigalhunter |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 15:08 - Nov 7 by baxterbasics |
Oh I've done that several times!
This was worse. |
Confession is good for the soul.
I’ve already shared my hideous Anusol mishap, which is actually second in my all-time embarrassment stakes.
Egypt 2008. Gorgeously expensive hotel.
Despite being warned by my GP other half to go steady on the iced coffees, I found them very refreshing as a mid morning alternative to hot coffee.
She advised that people often find milk based drinks abroad to be a little unsettling on the stomach.
Ignored that. Had three before lunchtime.
Slightly grumbling stomach.
Decided to avail myself of the comfort of our room facilities rather than the toilet area by the swimming pool.
Nonchalantly set off towards the lifts by reception.
Grumbling just that little bit less comfortable.
Watching the floor level numbers on the elevator display take forever to flick over to level 8.
Things now becoming a tad more urgent.
A light, tight-cheeked half-jog along the corridor.
Thank God. Room cleaner’s trolley two away from our room.
Brief fumble with the stupid room key.
Finally the door opened.
Pretty desperate now, slight cramping, draw cord on swimming trunks already loosened in preparation.
Franticallly barged the bathroom door open, simultaneously lowering trunks and torso.
Voluminous evacuation just prior to backside meeting toilet seat.
Seat, lid, tiled wall, immediate floor area utterly peppered.
Toilet brush holder tray nicely filled for good measure.
Half a toilet roll left to commence the frantic clean up.
The three spares on the silly little plastic stick utterly unusable.
Barely started the cleaning up task when the bathroom door swung open.
I’ll probably never forget the look of horror, pity and despair on the maid’s face.
Your turn.. [Post edited 7 Nov 21:35]
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 22:09 - Nov 7 with 756 views | Superblue95 |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 21:01 - Nov 7 by iamatractorboy |
Went along to the match last weekend, angry and wanting to show the clowns who 'run' (they couldn't run a bath!) this Fine Club, expecting my fellow supporters to be equally outraged and ready to take a stand. Well, I took my seat and the game began, then at the appointed minute, I stood up, took the tube of tennis balls out of my bag, opened the lid and with all my strength, I threw all 6 balls as far as I could onto the pitch. 'That'll teach 'em!' I chuckled to myself. Imagine my horror then when I realised no other b*gger had bothered to protest! The embarrassment... |
I’ve thankfully forgotten most due to alcohol, but I do remember once saying ‘hello ladies’ to a group of women once before walking straight into a giant mirror and falling on my arse.
They were not impressed by my attempted chivalry |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 22:51 - Nov 7 with 717 views | Freddies_Ears |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 19:16 - Nov 7 by Pendejo |
Similar language issue
Whilst working in Colombia I did some voluntary work in a school, not teaching English as much as helping them practice it, I also practised my Spanish
When ask one child how old they were (cuántos años tiene?) I managed to ask "
¿Cuántos anos tienes?" which is not only grammatically incorrect but the replacement of the enya (ñ) has a massive effect on the meaning... (How many anuses do you have) |
That is perfect!!!!! |  | | |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 00:29 - Nov 8 with 656 views | FBI |
I have mentioned before that I used to work for the National Trust. I managed a big Georgian Manor House but it was very Victorian in character.
We had a weekend of seasonal fun (not) entitled "A Dickens Of A Christmas".
I wrote a hurried press release which I stupidly sent out without getting it proofread as I would normally.
Now...
1. Look at your keyboard and note the letter to the left of the 'D' key.
2. Guess which word I mistyped the last letter of, for circulation nationally and also for automatic inclusion on both our own and the NT's websites... |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 08:12 - Nov 8 with 562 views | Churchman |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 21:29 - Nov 7 by Bigalhunter |
Confession is good for the soul.
I’ve already shared my hideous Anusol mishap, which is actually second in my all-time embarrassment stakes.
Egypt 2008. Gorgeously expensive hotel.
Despite being warned by my GP other half to go steady on the iced coffees, I found them very refreshing as a mid morning alternative to hot coffee.
She advised that people often find milk based drinks abroad to be a little unsettling on the stomach.
Ignored that. Had three before lunchtime.
Slightly grumbling stomach.
Decided to avail myself of the comfort of our room facilities rather than the toilet area by the swimming pool.
Nonchalantly set off towards the lifts by reception.
Grumbling just that little bit less comfortable.
Watching the floor level numbers on the elevator display take forever to flick over to level 8.
Things now becoming a tad more urgent.
A light, tight-cheeked half-jog along the corridor.
Thank God. Room cleaner’s trolley two away from our room.
Brief fumble with the stupid room key.
Finally the door opened.
Pretty desperate now, slight cramping, draw cord on swimming trunks already loosened in preparation.
Franticallly barged the bathroom door open, simultaneously lowering trunks and torso.
Voluminous evacuation just prior to backside meeting toilet seat.
Seat, lid, tiled wall, immediate floor area utterly peppered.
Toilet brush holder tray nicely filled for good measure.
Half a toilet roll left to commence the frantic clean up.
The three spares on the silly little plastic stick utterly unusable.
Barely started the cleaning up task when the bathroom door swung open.
I’ll probably never forget the look of horror, pity and despair on the maid’s face.
Your turn.. [Post edited 7 Nov 21:35]
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Nothing as spectacular as that, sadly.
However it reminded me of a ‘Greek night’ on Samos one year. Off we went on the bus for Greek food, unlimited Greek wine and dancing to Greek music. What could go wrong? Well, we were young….
We laid into the booze with gusto. The wine was foul. It’d clearly been strained through many a local’s underpants, but hey ho, bring it on.
The spare ribs and other stuff turned up. They’d made sort of attempt to cook it I think, but I suspect whatever they’d waved at the flames was already at the end of a long and hard life. It was disgusting. But whatever, we needed something to soak up the booze so truffled away.
The dancing followed. It was less Sirtaki and more Zorba the Zebra. Wasted British and Germans stumbling and falling about having long since engaged in a drinking competition. We held the flag up for the nation and saw them off. Hurrah! 1-0 GB.
However, after staggering around to the sound of walnutty Greeks in traditional dress doing their thing was a bit like putting your gut in a tumble dryer. The old sour queasy feeling began to rise like Dracula from the grave. Never mind, back on the bus.
Well the but ride back was not the happiest trip of my life. How I held it together I’ll never know. But I did. We reached the town square - I can do this! No I can’t. The square had those (olive?) trees painted white half way up the trunk. I reached the first and projectiled all the way up it. Great puddles settling at the base.
People moved away. I wanted to move away! When the roundabout my head was on stopped spinning, me and my pebble dashed t shirt tottered back towards the concrete box we were staying in 20 mins away. Then the other end decided to rebel. Dear god, I was paying dearly. The state of me. People literally crossed the road. I wish I could have.
Well, I got back and fell into the cold shower in the tiny room for half an hour. Clothes moderately washed through and bagged for disposal. No bin in the box of a room bar a little plastic thing for your used bog roll.
The following morning I was just about ok (youth, huh?) so we toddled back to find a decent breakfast. Managed to dump the nasties, all good.
Reached the town square in time to see a small child playing under a white painted tree with the previous nights donation, including the dried lumps. Mother clearly hadn’t noticed.
Oh how we laughed. [Post edited 8 Nov 8:14]
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 09:21 - Nov 8 with 501 views | SE1blue |
18 years old I borrowed my mum’s car to take my girlfriend out to the cinema. On the way back to hers we stopped down a country lane and the windows got steamy. Dropped her off and made my way back home.
Was woken by my mum the following day shouting “There are some things you do not do in a Rover!”
Turns out she had gone to pick up a 10kg bag of dog food and the young lad who helped you put it into your car had gone bright red and had to tell my mum he couldn’t do it because of a used condom lying on the back seat.
I was never allowed to borrow that car again. |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 09:40 - Nov 8 with 481 views | Ryorry |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 08:12 - Nov 8 by Churchman |
Nothing as spectacular as that, sadly.
However it reminded me of a ‘Greek night’ on Samos one year. Off we went on the bus for Greek food, unlimited Greek wine and dancing to Greek music. What could go wrong? Well, we were young….
We laid into the booze with gusto. The wine was foul. It’d clearly been strained through many a local’s underpants, but hey ho, bring it on.
The spare ribs and other stuff turned up. They’d made sort of attempt to cook it I think, but I suspect whatever they’d waved at the flames was already at the end of a long and hard life. It was disgusting. But whatever, we needed something to soak up the booze so truffled away.
The dancing followed. It was less Sirtaki and more Zorba the Zebra. Wasted British and Germans stumbling and falling about having long since engaged in a drinking competition. We held the flag up for the nation and saw them off. Hurrah! 1-0 GB.
However, after staggering around to the sound of walnutty Greeks in traditional dress doing their thing was a bit like putting your gut in a tumble dryer. The old sour queasy feeling began to rise like Dracula from the grave. Never mind, back on the bus.
Well the but ride back was not the happiest trip of my life. How I held it together I’ll never know. But I did. We reached the town square - I can do this! No I can’t. The square had those (olive?) trees painted white half way up the trunk. I reached the first and projectiled all the way up it. Great puddles settling at the base.
People moved away. I wanted to move away! When the roundabout my head was on stopped spinning, me and my pebble dashed t shirt tottered back towards the concrete box we were staying in 20 mins away. Then the other end decided to rebel. Dear god, I was paying dearly. The state of me. People literally crossed the road. I wish I could have.
Well, I got back and fell into the cold shower in the tiny room for half an hour. Clothes moderately washed through and bagged for disposal. No bin in the box of a room bar a little plastic thing for your used bog roll.
The following morning I was just about ok (youth, huh?) so we toddled back to find a decent breakfast. Managed to dump the nasties, all good.
Reached the town square in time to see a small child playing under a white painted tree with the previous nights donation, including the dried lumps. Mother clearly hadn’t noticed.
Oh how we laughed. [Post edited 8 Nov 8:14]
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That reminds me of another kid’s embarrassment.
Age about 10 at bestie’s birthday party, after the magnificent tea about 20 of us sat in a circle on the living room carpet playing some game or other, one kid suddenly projectile vomited in deep burgundy colour, hitting a couple of others en route to covering a large swathe of the cream coloured shag-pile.
Us 19 other kids screamed, but bestie’s mum just calmly says “oh dear, someone had a bit too much cake then?”, shepherds us to the kitchen, sick kid to bathroom, clears everyone & everything up with minimal fuss.
Big shout out for the late Mrs Lorna Anderson, an exceptional, kind, wise, wonderful woman who was like a second Mum to me. R.I.P. |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 09:58 - Nov 8 with 456 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 08:12 - Nov 8 by Churchman |
Nothing as spectacular as that, sadly.
However it reminded me of a ‘Greek night’ on Samos one year. Off we went on the bus for Greek food, unlimited Greek wine and dancing to Greek music. What could go wrong? Well, we were young….
We laid into the booze with gusto. The wine was foul. It’d clearly been strained through many a local’s underpants, but hey ho, bring it on.
The spare ribs and other stuff turned up. They’d made sort of attempt to cook it I think, but I suspect whatever they’d waved at the flames was already at the end of a long and hard life. It was disgusting. But whatever, we needed something to soak up the booze so truffled away.
The dancing followed. It was less Sirtaki and more Zorba the Zebra. Wasted British and Germans stumbling and falling about having long since engaged in a drinking competition. We held the flag up for the nation and saw them off. Hurrah! 1-0 GB.
However, after staggering around to the sound of walnutty Greeks in traditional dress doing their thing was a bit like putting your gut in a tumble dryer. The old sour queasy feeling began to rise like Dracula from the grave. Never mind, back on the bus.
Well the but ride back was not the happiest trip of my life. How I held it together I’ll never know. But I did. We reached the town square - I can do this! No I can’t. The square had those (olive?) trees painted white half way up the trunk. I reached the first and projectiled all the way up it. Great puddles settling at the base.
People moved away. I wanted to move away! When the roundabout my head was on stopped spinning, me and my pebble dashed t shirt tottered back towards the concrete box we were staying in 20 mins away. Then the other end decided to rebel. Dear god, I was paying dearly. The state of me. People literally crossed the road. I wish I could have.
Well, I got back and fell into the cold shower in the tiny room for half an hour. Clothes moderately washed through and bagged for disposal. No bin in the box of a room bar a little plastic thing for your used bog roll.
The following morning I was just about ok (youth, huh?) so we toddled back to find a decent breakfast. Managed to dump the nasties, all good.
Reached the town square in time to see a small child playing under a white painted tree with the previous nights donation, including the dried lumps. Mother clearly hadn’t noticed.
Oh how we laughed. [Post edited 8 Nov 8:14]
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An old friend of mine was on a lads holiday abroad. He'd had a skinful and was sitting in a nice restaurant, head in hand, elbow propping him up on the table. He nodded off for a while, then awoke suddenly, projectile vomited down his shirt sleeve, producing a volcanic eruption of puke which shot out of his shirt neck, all over his face and on the table. Needless to say, they didn't go back to that restaurant... |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 12:02 - Nov 8 with 406 views | Ryorry |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 09:21 - Nov 8 by SE1blue |
18 years old I borrowed my mum’s car to take my girlfriend out to the cinema. On the way back to hers we stopped down a country lane and the windows got steamy. Dropped her off and made my way back home.
Was woken by my mum the following day shouting “There are some things you do not do in a Rover!”
Turns out she had gone to pick up a 10kg bag of dog food and the young lad who helped you put it into your car had gone bright red and had to tell my mum he couldn’t do it because of a used condom lying on the back seat.
I was never allowed to borrow that car again. |
Dog food reminds me of another embarrassment for me & my bro.
Those of a certain vintage will remember 1950s general stores, pre-supermarket era, which stocked everything, including a lot of stuff in jute sacks.
So our Mum would be at the counter in front as the the shopkeeper passed over bags of salt, cans of beans etc.; while I and my bro (maybe about 5 & 7) quietly nibbled away on the Winalot Shapes dog biscuits in their open sacks at the back. We didn't get caught till about the 4th time; even at that age I remember it being embarrassing (and no, I can't remember which Shape was the nicest flavour). [Post edited 8 Nov 13:45]
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 12:16 - Nov 8 with 390 views | Benters |
I got rained off from work one day and a workmate leant me a old vhs blue movie..
Anyway I got home and was enjoying myself so to speak,I looked at my bay window and the Father in law was peering in 😳.
Lucky we had net curtains up but he was trying his best to see in the living room. |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 11:14 - Nov 9 with 261 views | quirkie |
Away on business stayed in a posh hotel for the night in London, company I was working for picked up the tab. Had a skin full with some colleagues in the evening all on expenses, retired to bed around midnight. Woke up needing a pee around 3 o'clock wearing my birthday suit. Entered what I thought was the bathroom only to find no toilet but an empty corridor instead, door shut behind me. Cue an half cut me trying to find a member of staff to let me back into my room starkers. Not my finest hour. |  |
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| (No subject) (n/t) on 11:15 - Nov 9 with 258 views | quirkie |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 19:52 - Nov 9 with 185 views | Warkystache |
The nature of my health condition when I was younger meant I had to have several colonoscopy procedures to check my bowels.
A colonoscopy is, basically, a long thin black rubber tube with a camera on the end. It may be swallowed (with difficulty and they usually had to sedate me if this was required as my gag reflex was strong) or, if they needed to see the lower end of the bowel, inserted anally.
On this occasion, it was lower end. So I didn't have a pre-med, thinking they'd be able to let me go home quicker if I didn't. The operator was Australian and made endless jokes about Dartford Tunnels and telling the nurse to make sure she held the other end tight in case they lost it. Ha Ha and all that. I'd been told to drink a caustic bowel prep the day before the procedure which gave me torrential diarrhoea for the whole night. I'd also have to go nil by mouth on the day. So I was hungry, and sadly, that also produces a lot of flatulence......
Anyway, they started the procedure and I lay on my side with legs drawn up towards my tummy. I just about managed to see the small screen with the inside of my bowels on it, when they rounded a bit of a corner and must have opened the bowel up a bit more, anyway, cue several monster farts, of the type that reverberate and echoed around the small procedure room.
The Aussie doctor was coming to the end of the procedure and happened to spot something of interest so he called the nurse over and they both stood behind my bare arse, facing me and the larger screen behind me, moving the tube back and forth for a better view. Just then, I did a final massive fart and followed through with a portion of wet, skittery diarrhoea. There was a moment of shocked silence, then the nurse rapidly ran to the paper towel roll, the top half of her uniform, her face mask and her hair covered in runny faeces. The Aussie had it worse though when he came into view. Before accepting several wet wipes and paper towels, he'd grown several blotchy-looking freckles. His starched white shirt resembled a pie-bald horse.
I was glad I hadn't had the pre-med. I'd have been stuck in there with those two for another couple of hours, and it wa difficult enough making eye contact when they told me I could go as it was. |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 20:11 - Nov 9 with 171 views | Churchman |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 09:58 - Nov 8 by Hugoagogo_Reborn |
An old friend of mine was on a lads holiday abroad. He'd had a skinful and was sitting in a nice restaurant, head in hand, elbow propping him up on the table. He nodded off for a while, then awoke suddenly, projectile vomited down his shirt sleeve, producing a volcanic eruption of puke which shot out of his shirt neck, all over his face and on the table. Needless to say, they didn't go back to that restaurant... |
Haha, strange that!
On my 21st birthday me and my chums did a pint and a chaser in every boozer from where I was living to Orpington War Memorial. There were loads of them back then. But we tackled the job manfully!
We reached the Chinese Restaurant at the Memorial (The King Palace) and in we shambled. All good. Well, not really. One of the sots fell asleep with his head in his plate of chicken and black bean sauce, sweet and s and goodness knows what else. No big deal
What was a big deal was when one of our number staggered to the front door and projectiled all over it. On the inside. There was collateral damage to more than one guest enjoying their spring rolls. Liquids and solids. All hell broke loose.
They chased us out with cleavers. [Post edited 9 Nov 20:13]
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 22:40 - Nov 9 with 98 views | Coastalblue |
When I first starting seeing Ms Coastal, I was living on my tod in a rented property having got divorced a while before. We were enjoying an exciting early period, as you do, sex never far from your mind, and often your actions.
I was also looking to change jobs and had a few interviews and conversations under way with regards to that.
I woke one morning, somewhat bleary eyed as I tend to, picked up my phone and responded to the last message from Ms Blue with a somewhat blue, somewhat depraved and extremely rude message about what might happen the next time we found ourselves in each others company.
Somewhat later in the morning I picked up a message from her, and was somewhat disapointed to see that she'd glossed over all of my explicit and detailed proposition, only to then realise that for some reason it wasn't in my message history.
It was then that I realised it had been sent in error to the last person I'd shared some texts with, the lady that I had been quite deep into conversations with regarding potentially working for her.
I never did start that role. |  |
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| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 23:57 - Nov 9 with 51 views | baxterbasics |
| Most embarrassing moment of your life? on 19:52 - Nov 9 by Warkystache |
The nature of my health condition when I was younger meant I had to have several colonoscopy procedures to check my bowels.
A colonoscopy is, basically, a long thin black rubber tube with a camera on the end. It may be swallowed (with difficulty and they usually had to sedate me if this was required as my gag reflex was strong) or, if they needed to see the lower end of the bowel, inserted anally.
On this occasion, it was lower end. So I didn't have a pre-med, thinking they'd be able to let me go home quicker if I didn't. The operator was Australian and made endless jokes about Dartford Tunnels and telling the nurse to make sure she held the other end tight in case they lost it. Ha Ha and all that. I'd been told to drink a caustic bowel prep the day before the procedure which gave me torrential diarrhoea for the whole night. I'd also have to go nil by mouth on the day. So I was hungry, and sadly, that also produces a lot of flatulence......
Anyway, they started the procedure and I lay on my side with legs drawn up towards my tummy. I just about managed to see the small screen with the inside of my bowels on it, when they rounded a bit of a corner and must have opened the bowel up a bit more, anyway, cue several monster farts, of the type that reverberate and echoed around the small procedure room.
The Aussie doctor was coming to the end of the procedure and happened to spot something of interest so he called the nurse over and they both stood behind my bare arse, facing me and the larger screen behind me, moving the tube back and forth for a better view. Just then, I did a final massive fart and followed through with a portion of wet, skittery diarrhoea. There was a moment of shocked silence, then the nurse rapidly ran to the paper towel roll, the top half of her uniform, her face mask and her hair covered in runny faeces. The Aussie had it worse though when he came into view. Before accepting several wet wipes and paper towels, he'd grown several blotchy-looking freckles. His starched white shirt resembled a pie-bald horse.
I was glad I hadn't had the pre-med. I'd have been stuck in there with those two for another couple of hours, and it wa difficult enough making eye contact when they told me I could go as it was. |
Surely though, this is a regular hazard for those particular specialists? |  |
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