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Alternative Winter Olympic Events 18:49 - Feb 23 with 876 viewsKeno

To help team GB bag a few more medals what alternative winter sports can you come up with?

Ice Slide - freeze a patch of concreted area atheletes run up and see who can slide further down the ice slice wearing their normal trainers

Possible additional ‘posing’ event with competitors awarded points for striking a pose while sliding


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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 18:52 - Feb 23 with 854 viewsDubtractor

Yellow Snow Stenography.

Post drinking session athletes transcribe text onto snow via the medium of a full bladder. Points for both speed and accuracy.

It would be the winter Olympics equivalent of darts.

I was born underwater, I dried out in the sun. I started humping volcanoes baby, when I was too young.
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 18:59 - Feb 23 with 832 viewsbluelagos

Snow ball fighting. Can't believe it's not been included tbh

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 18:59 - Feb 23 with 832 viewsMattinLondon

Walking home pissed-up when the ground is extremely icy.

This sport has a strong following in the Newcastle area - a mixed sex sport where the contestants wear as little as possible. Prior to walking home, the contestants drink heavily and then order a kebab. Women are awarded points for not falling over and for not flashing their tits and arses. Dropping food gets a points penalty.

Men are also judged on not falling over and not dropping food - but get points awarded for shouting abuse at fellow contestants but stopping short of fighting.
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:01 - Feb 23 with 821 viewsMattinLondon

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 18:59 - Feb 23 by bluelagos

Snow ball fighting. Can't believe it's not been included tbh


It’ll be a lot more entertaining than figure skating.
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:04 - Feb 23 with 815 viewshomer_123

Tesco trolley skeleton.

Ade Akinbiyi couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo...
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:04 - Feb 23 with 813 viewsbluelagos

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:01 - Feb 23 by MattinLondon

It’ll be a lot more entertaining than figure skating.


Golf is more entertaining...nah, scrub that.

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:08 - Feb 23 with 797 viewsMattinLondon

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:04 - Feb 23 by bluelagos

Golf is more entertaining...nah, scrub that.


Golf is the ultimate dull sport.
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:10 - Feb 23 with 789 viewsbluelagos

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:08 - Feb 23 by MattinLondon

Golf is the ultimate dull sport.


"Televised sky" as one wag once labelled TV coverage.

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:13 - Feb 23 with 782 viewsKeno

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:04 - Feb 23 by homer_123

Tesco trolley skeleton.


Each trolley has a least one wonky wheel

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:46 - Feb 23 with 738 viewsPhilsAngels

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:13 - Feb 23 by Keno

Each trolley has a least one wonky wheel


Farthest distance prior to the trolley falling over. No padding allowed other than the latest must have chav coat to keep it even. If the trolley does go points are awarded for cuts and bruises sustained

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:51 - Feb 23 with 729 viewsPhilsAngels

Hill sliding on a grow bag only

Path clearance using a shovel/spade and broom only.

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 19:58 - Feb 23 with 719 viewsRyorry

Unchained, rear wheel drive only car races with at least two tyres having less than the legal tread, on ungritted icy roads, with dummy people, prams, wheelie bins and skips dotted around. Various penalty seconds added for hitting any of those obstacles.

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 20:52 - Feb 23 with 662 viewsDJR

Pushing the bobsleigh up the course.
[Post edited 23 Feb 20:53]
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 21:55 - Feb 23 with 624 viewsSE1blue

Head to head races at scraping ice off the windscreen of a car with a CD case.

Competitors only need to clear off approximately 30 cm section of windscreen and then complete a 30 minute journey to work with the heaters on full blast and leaning out the side window when unable to see clearly.

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 22:21 - Feb 23 with 574 viewsTheBlueGnu

Pelican Down-hill skiing

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 22:56 - Feb 23 with 548 viewsHugoagogo_Reborn

Speed de-icing the windscreens and headlights of your family-sized car, as posted above should only be allowed using an old, disused loyalty card from the darkest depths of your wallet.
[Post edited 23 Feb 22:58]

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 04:33 - Feb 24 with 465 viewsRyorry

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 22:56 - Feb 23 by Hugoagogo_Reborn

Speed de-icing the windscreens and headlights of your family-sized car, as posted above should only be allowed using an old, disused loyalty card from the darkest depths of your wallet.
[Post edited 23 Feb 22:58]


... or an official ITFC ice scraper complete with badge, Shirley?

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 07:54 - Feb 24 with 393 viewsNthQldITFC

Frozen dog turd pass the parcel. (No gloves allowed)

You have to sing the national anthem before you can pass it on. You're disqualified if it defrosts in your hand enough to leave a 'smudge' once you've passed it on, or if you drop it, or if you forget to call your neighbour a c-unit as you pass it.

I think that encapsulates rather well everything it means to be British these days, and I think we'd excel at the event,

Good work by Philogene...... GREAT WORK BY PHILOGENE!!!
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 08:07 - Feb 24 with 370 views1Warky

Speed Fridge Freezer de-icing.

Commentators could indulge in analysing athletes' chipping, scraping and clearing techniques.
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 08:40 - Feb 24 with 342 viewsKeno

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 08:07 - Feb 24 by 1Warky

Speed Fridge Freezer de-icing.

Commentators could indulge in analysing athletes' chipping, scraping and clearing techniques.


In the mixed version of the event the 'non-male' competitor gets points for passing on helpful tips such as 'Are you sure thats the right tool', I dont think you are doing it right' or Oh I think you have missed a bit'

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 08:52 - Feb 24 with 326 viewsFrimleyBlue

Blindfold Ice Football

Waka Waka
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 15:36 - Feb 24 with 252 viewsHugoagogo_Reborn

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 08:07 - Feb 24 by 1Warky

Speed Fridge Freezer de-icing.

Commentators could indulge in analysing athletes' chipping, scraping and clearing techniques.


Are you allowed the use of an old, noisy, weakly powered hairdryer, or would you be disqualified?

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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 16:13 - Feb 24 with 221 viewsGeoffSentence

Below zero flimsy clothes wearing. Flimsiest, or least, clothes worrn in the coldest temperatures gets he gold.

Send a team of Geordies, gold sewn up.

Don't boil a kettle on a boat.
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 16:53 - Feb 24 with 188 viewsNthQldITFC

Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 16:13 - Feb 24 by GeoffSentence

Below zero flimsy clothes wearing. Flimsiest, or least, clothes worrn in the coldest temperatures gets he gold.

Send a team of Geordies, gold sewn up.


"gold sewn up" is a very Geordie-friendly phrase, n'est ce pas?

Good work by Philogene...... GREAT WORK BY PHILOGENE!!!
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Alternative Winter Olympic Events on 17:13 - Feb 24 with 172 viewsHugoagogo_Reborn

Postmen wearing shorts to deliver a round lasting 5 hours.

An event we might actually win.
[Post edited 24 Feb 17:14]

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