| Football, my dad and moaning 21:46 - Mar 18 with 2870 views | FrimleyBlue |
Firstly apologies for this post. Its a bunch of random words but my mind is in all different levels of confusion. Anger. Sadness, worry. Regret and more.
My dad whos been in and out of hospital through the last year. Erm im not quite sure how long he has left. Ive been down to see him and not quite sure how I feel about yesterday how I feel about anything really. I just don't know how to function right now.
But thinking of football and my time spent with my dad is something I'll always remember.
The first time he took my into the churchmans stand. The hot dog stall. The ham sandwich and drink in the bar thats now the george burley bar I think it is.
I remember my had always moaning. "Ah come on" hed screech. I can hear it just typing it. He used to wind people up with it. He always meant well he just loved ipswich but hed seen the good days so when we were drawing with a port Vale or a Grimsby He wouldnt take to it. I assume thats where my high expectations come from and can hear my dad when ever I sit on my sofa saying oh come on.
I remember the play off final. Getting the coach with him. Having chicken and chips before the game. Taking our seat and the coach back. I know I said thank you but if I could go back id say it better thank an expectatant teen.
My dad always tried to do what he could for me. Esp when it came to football. Year on year he got us season tickets. I never appreciated the stress he had of making sure he got them. I was expectant. God I wish I could go back and let him know at the time how much it meant to me.
I remember one time he was £100 short or something and he took me to a bookies. I stood by the door as he put a bet on hoping to win the money to get the ticket. In walked dyer to put 1k on a greyhound that didnt come in. He shrugged walked out. My dad.. just stood I could see the pain in his eyes. He didnt win the money that day. I wish I could have said dont worry. Its not needed.
He did indeed get that ST and again we shared weekly football witb town.
I wish I could turn back the time. Relive those years.
For all those that attend pr with your friends. Family. Kids. Enjoy them. Remember them and keep them as long as you can.
I dont know where to turn right now. I dont know how to feel. How to act. Whats right whats wrong. Theres no predicted time for this. No predicted date. Its clinging on to some miracle thwt he gets through it but at the same time in his 80s is getting through it the best thint for him. Then I feel guilty for thinking that.
I just dont know how to function right now. I dont even know why im sharing. I just dont really have people to air it too. I know I have wife and son but I cant load this on them.
Always sorry for this random post. Just needed to write down some feelings as been speaking them in my head all day.
Yours
Frimmers. |  |
| |  |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 21:52 - Mar 18 with 2313 views | stringy |
feel for you; if you get the chance, print this post out and give it to him on the chance that maybe you won't be able to articulate this verbally to your satisfaction. Really hope you get that chance, and a note to us all in similar positions. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 21:53 - Mar 18 with 2287 views | Stadiumofdark |
Wise words Frimmers. Wise Words
Tough times |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 21:57 - Mar 18 with 2256 views | GlasgowBlue |
Treasure every single moment you have left with your dad Frimmers. And remember, as long as he is in your thoughts then he'll always be with you. |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 21:58 - Mar 18 with 2261 views | sohamblue74 |
Excellent post. Thanks for sharing.
Thoughts are with you and your family.
He will know deep down all those important and good things, that you wish you had told him. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:02 - Mar 18 with 2235 views | syntaxerror |
My dad was not a nice man, cheated on my mum many times, was not adverse to delivering a smack or later as I grew up, a punch. Not just to me, my mother too.
He was an officer in the RN, and a Chelsea fan.
But in1978 he took me to watch an FA cup final. I became an Ipswich fan for life.
He died 12 years ago, and I still miss him, for all his faults.
But one thing he taught me is to be a better person.
All I can say, is treasure the good moments and memories, and try not to make their mistakes.
That’s why I am sharing this. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:08 - Mar 18 with 2169 views | jayessess |
There's no right way to feel about loss, you feel how you feel. Losing people to long illnesses and watching them suffer, it's heart-breaking enough without second-guessing your own emotions.
Pretty sure as they go any father would want their child to be thinking about what you are thinking about - times you shared, joyous things you did together. That your child knew how hard you tried, to do things to make them happy, to spend time together, out of love. [Post edited 18 Mar 22:09]
|  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:18 - Mar 18 with 2107 views | TheBoyBlue |
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, that's very sad.
A perfect example of why football is more than just the 90 minutes or even the result. I take my family and pay for the season tickets but it's worth every penny. Even last season when loss followed loss followed loss. We still enjoyed the day out together and still do now. I try never to take it for granted and that these memories can help you through. | |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:19 - Mar 18 with 2095 views | itfc1108 |
Take care frimmers, I hope that you and your dad will be ok. | | | |
Login to get fewer ads
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:30 - Mar 18 with 2041 views | chantryblueboy |
All the best mate, I can only speak for myself but I always enjoy seeing posts of other people’s Ipswich memories | | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:37 - Mar 18 with 2001 views | StochesStotasBlewe |
I feel your anguish.
My dad taking me to my first game at Portman Road started a lifetime love affair with the club.
He stopped going when I was 15 so I went with my mates.
I never thanked him for those formative years. I wish I had.
I lost my mum a month ago. There are things going around in my head at the moment that I wish I’d told her and thanked her for over the years.
I guess what I’m saying fella is do it, tell him as soon as you can, relive those memories, wishing you all the best. |  |
| We have no village green, or a shop.
It's very, very quiet.
I can walk to the pub. |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:47 - Mar 18 with 1935 views | CopfordBlue |
A sad but lovely post. Thanks for sharing. I wish you, your dad and family all the very best. By the way, i’m sure your dad knew how much you appreciated going to the play off final, don’t over think it. He shared the day and the best moment as a town fan for many years with his son, that would have meant the world to him I’m sure. Take care and please keep the posts coming. It’s good to talk. | |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:54 - Mar 18 with 1900 views | IndependentlyBlue |
Thoughts are with you Frimmers. You have a lot of people on here who’ll support you. You’re one of us, that’s thanks to your Dad. Take care of yourself. |  |
| Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:56 - Mar 18 with 1894 views | _CliveBaker_ |
Sorry to hear about your situation Frimmers, wishing you and your family all the very best.
Never apologise for vocalising your thoughts, in the words of one of our own Bob Hoskins ‘it’s good to talk’.
Obviously not aware of your old man’s circumstances but I’d also say it might not be too late to let him know of your gratitude. I never had the opportunity to tell my mum how much I appreciated her, I was too young, but I’d do anything for the chance to do that.
All the best fella. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 22:58 - Mar 18 with 1871 views | jasondozzell |
Brilliant post.
Look after yourself Frimmers. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 23:14 - Mar 18 with 1796 views | Whos_blue |
I hope you feel better for sharing that Frimmers. Something, somewhere made you sit down and type that.
It's good to get it out.
There is always bickering and sometime worse here, but when someone reaches out like you have, we always look out for our own.
Cherish the memories and make sure you let your dad know what he means to you.
Look after yourselves. |  |
| Distortion becomes somehow pure in its wildness. |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 23:15 - Mar 18 with 1793 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
Good on you for finding somewhere to release the pressure valve Frimmers but my advice would be to go share with your wife and to an extent your son, heck even have a little cry with them.
Your Dad did you proud. |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 23:34 - Mar 18 with 1769 views | Churchman |
I posted even by my standards a long message on here when my father died and have posted since on it so I won’t repeat.
Ipswich Town was one of his passions and I have treasured memories of those times. Nobody can take those away. When I look at Portman Road whether there or via tv, I think of him and those memories. He is part of the place. ‘Once a blue always a blue’ may or may not be over used but it is correct. It is right.
I’m a great believer that you never actually ‘get over’ bad experiences, tough times or indeed loss. You learn to live with them which is fine. By the same token you don’t lose the good times either. They’re always there.
In terms of functioning, my view for what it’s worth, is look after yourself as a priority. You cannot deal with anything if you don’t do that so eat properly and sleep when your mind allows you to, Then your loved ones.
With regard to your dad, it’s day by day and whatever decisions you have to make, make the best one you can and don’t look back. You will find a way.
If in time you can look in the mirror and say to what you see ‘I did my best’, that’s as good as it gets. It’s enough.
Take care. I hope things can go as well as they can with your dad. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 00:51 - Mar 19 with 1697 views | Illinoisblue |
Make sure to go see him as much as possible. Take those extra days off work if you need to. Cancel other appts if you need to.
My own situation with my dad was obviously different with being so far apart, but I’ll always regret returning home from Ipswich - had a ride to the airport, would have been expensive to change flight, was worried about missing extra days of work - I left on the Wednesday, he died on Sunday. Will always rue that decision. He was drugged up under hospice at home care so probably wouldn’t have known I was there anyway. But should have been there for my mum.
So, frimmers, if there’s one thing you can give, it’s your time. Leave no regrets. |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 02:31 - Mar 19 with 1593 views | flykickingbybgunn |
When you walk into your own house you feel at home.
When I go through the turnstyle and take my seat I also feel at home.
It's the familarity but also I know that my Dad and his family are there with me even when they are long since gone.
Portman Road is my safe place. I have family connections back to the '30s. It is somewhere to go and for two hours forget all your troubles and griefs. Surrounded by family past and present. Being there is what they would have wanted. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 07:47 - Mar 19 with 1277 views | Steve_M |
Best wishes through this difficult time Frimmers, keep bringing up the good memories to offset the pain of now and remember this place is always good for sharing your difficulties and frustrations - and for people offering good advice. |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 07:47 - Mar 19 with 1275 views | Metal_Hacker |
Chin up Frimmers
I'm fortunate enough to still have both my parents where my younger family members ( Cousins) have had the misfortune of losing at least one and in many cases both their parents .I think myself very lucky and charmed to be fair because some of those parents were lost when my cousins were in the very early teens
My Dad now has dementia and has been effected by this horrible disease since just before Covid and it's got progressively worse to which he's at the point where he just about and I mean just abut recognise me with some help and pushing from my Mum
My point to my reply is that it's helped me re-evaluate my love for my Dad rather than taking him ( them) for granted .
I've learnt to love every minute I have with him and am prepared for when he's totally incoherent
My message would be very simple Frimmers . Keep those memories , keep those thoughts and cherish the times you'v got with him. Make them happy times , not sad !
Fact of the matter is , he will always be your Dad and nothing will ever change that
You know where we all are if you need to have a chat |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 08:29 - Mar 19 with 1179 views | Hugoagogo_Reborn |
Speaking as a wife, I think it would be a really positive thing if you could share your feelings with your own wife. You might think it is a burden (and in some ways, it is), but it will also bring you closer together. In your marriage vows you both said 'for better or for worse'. She may surprise you and rise to the occasion of being a rock in your time of need. Even if you can't put it into words, you could just say "I'm feeling sad about my dad, can I have a hug?"
Try not to shut her out. She can't support you if she doesn't know what the problem is.
Take care, Frimmers. Sorry you are having such a hard time. |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 08:53 - Mar 19 with 1114 views | BloomBlue |
Always remember; people leave us but memories can never leave us.
As you say, remember those special moments they will get you through the difficult times.
I'm a great believe in the saying; 'we're born, but life creates us', in other words as we grow-up our experiences shape us as an individual. Then as we get older we naturally go back to those early experiences.
I support Town because my Granddad/Dad took me to my first game at PR - I've heard that so many times from different people. Supporting Town shaped a part (poss large part) of your life, thus you naturally look fondly back on that and the fact your Dad is the main part of that.
Difficult times for you, don't try and plan a path as that only creates the emotions, just let this journey follow its natural path and support it as best you can. |  | | |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 09:09 - Mar 19 with 1070 views | usm |
Feel for you Frimmers.
Ive been there myself recently.
Do 'offload' on your wife, she wont see it as offloading and it will be a great help you you - and to her. |  |
| |
| Football, my dad and moaning on 09:09 - Mar 19 with 1060 views | Marshalls_Mullet |
Nice note, hope all goes as well as it can.
At least you have those great memories to treasure. |  |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
