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I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said “how do I look?” Would you say, bearing in mind he’s depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say “go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny”? No. You’d say ‘You look nice… John
[Post edited 2 Mar 2018 15:26]
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
“The temperature inside this apple turnover is over 1,000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down.”
2
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 15:48 - Mar 2 with 4451 views
"Is that his pickup truck?" "Aye he calls it Convoy." "Convoy!? Michael you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle!"
“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.”
Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
"I just want to be able to say 'I'm Alan Partridge. Join me tonight when my guests will be, I don't know, Chris Rea'. Actually, he lives in the area. I could have had him over. 'Alright Chris!', 'Hello Alan I didn't know you'd moved in', 'Yeah, just moved in, last week. I'm having a barbecue, fancy coming over?', 'I'd love to! Do you mind if I bring my guitar?', 'I'd rather you didn't, it's not that kind of area. Do you like Mini Kievs?', 'I love them! But my wife's vegetarian', 'Doesn't matter. She can have fish', 'No she won't eat that either', 'Oh forget it!. You people'."
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 15:48 - Mar 2 by Lord_Lucan
"Is that his pickup truck?" "Aye he calls it Convoy." "Convoy!? Michael you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle!"
That's brilliant!
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
“That was ‘Big Yellow Taxi’ by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they ‘Paved paradise to put up a parking lot’, a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn’t quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song.”
IT'S NOT BEING DESTROYED. THE CORRECT TERM IS PULPED.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 15:52 - Mar 2 by NewcyBlue
I’ve never seen an episode in my life....
*faints*
*re-reads and faints again*
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 15:55 - Mar 2 by NewcyBlue
Is it worth it?
The best British comedy creation*
*bar one of Blueas' efforts.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 15:58 - Mar 2 by Mullet
I've pierced me foot on a spike
That episode is the closest I've been to actually peeing myself through laughing.
I ached afterwards.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
Random Partridge Quotes for a Friday afernoon on 16:02 - Mar 2 by artsbossbeard
That episode is the closest I've been to actually peeing myself through laughing.
I ached afterwards.
This is from that episode when Michael draws a baby H
Alan: Are we nearly there? Michael: Move forward. Keep moving, you’re going in the right direction. That’s it. Alan: Michael, I’m not the Vietnam! I’m going to take this off. Michael: No! Leave it. Leave it for a minute. Alan: Michael, this doesn’t feel like a treat. Michael: Alright, that way. Take it off, now! There, look. I’ve made you a helicopter landing pad! Alan: It’s a small H. Michael: No, man. It’s big, look. You can see that from space, man. Alan: Michael, I don’t want aliens to see this from space. It will be embarrassing. They would look down through their giant telescope and say “look at that idiot, he’s got a baby H”. Michael: I done it, just to cheer you up, like. You know, because, the fireplace job was knackered. Apache productions is probably gonna goon down the pan, like all the other companies that you’ve started. Alan: Michael, that may wery very well be the case. But I am happy. Now, that may very wery well be because I’m on morphine. Michael: Morphine? Oh, man. They should have put an M on your foreheed. Alan: Why? Michael: That’s what you dee with battlefield casualties. You know, you put an M on their foreheed. So that the doctors know they’ve had morphine, it’s dangerous. Alan: It’s not so a little helicopter can land on your forehead? Michael: No, helicopter doesn’t begin with M, does it? Alan: I’d like that though! I’d like that. Little helicopter landing on your head, rotor blades would cool you down like a little hand fan. On your forehead. Michael: Come on, you’ve definitely had morphine, haven’t you. Alan: Yeah. Do you want some Sugar Puffs? Michael: Aye, that’d be nice. We’ll have Suagr Puffs. Alan: Ah, still thinking about the helicopters. The little helicopters. Like the beginning of MASH. That begins with an M.
Edit; That is the same one when he meets the S African and uses a door as a table isn't it. "Alan you cant", "There's no need to be like that, just because I've got a sh1t table"
Brilliant
[Post edited 2 Mar 2018 16:44]
“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.”
Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
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