|An Open Application for the Ipswich Manager's Position|
Written by BaltachaFanClub on Thursday, 26th Apr 2018 20:37
I am already sick of the fiasco involving our new leader, the interview with our owner and all that goes with it, so I thought I should make a light-hearted, open application for the job my (fictional) self.
Dear Marcus and Ian,
I would like to formally apply for the vacant role at your wonderful, famous club.
My name is not important, as I feel my credentials will speak for themselves, I intend to outline my abilities, qualifications, ambitions and a detailed plan of action to take your club, my club forward to the promised land of Sky/BT televised Premier League.com and all the riches that come with it.
My credentials :-
Since 1993 I have played every version of Championship Manager, and subsequently its successor Football Manager, I have countless titles across many European leagues, and have also had a brief spell in charge of Nigeria. My biggest achievement however was leading England to World Cup glory in 2034 (Australia).
My attempt at management in the MLS was less successful as an understanding of the 'draft' system was lacking, and I ended up signing the very famous Freddy Adu.
Outside of the keyboard, my qualifications marry nicely alongside many of the bookies favourites for your appointment:-
• My brother is a PE teacher and holds a UEFA coaching licence which makes me equal to the Cowleys.
I could go on, but as you can already see, I can talk my way out of any situation, which again makes me equal to a couple of your previous appointments, Roy and Paul.
I would also like to outline my three year plan for promotion to the financial haven that is the Premier League:-
• My first job would be to sign a big name player, I have yet to identify the one which suits us best but if I am correct someone with 27 characters or more in their name would be immense for the shirt printing department, £1 per letter would make our shirts almost as valuable as the player in them.
Yours Truly .....
It hardly matters what my name is, the job is mine!
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