| Adult children... on 22:37 - May 11 with 1628 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Adult children... on 22:10 - May 11 by itfcjoe |
Where do they live though? Because even in cheap Ipswich 1 bedroom in a shared flat is still £500 a month |
The answer to that is a bus, truck, caravan or whatever....however in the 80's and before you could get away without mot, tax and insurance, fake id's and bank loans were easy too.....not so easy now. |  |
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| Adult children... on 22:43 - May 11 with 1600 views | Pendejo |
Stepson finally left aged 29, youngest offspring will be 21 this year, youngest male offspring would probably still be at home if he weren't at Uni, he's 22.
I was 22 when I bought my first house using a mortgage of approx 3 x salary, now it'd probably take 10 x salary (London), and private renting even more expensive.
Different world. |  |
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| Adult children... on 01:59 - May 12 with 1533 views | Hong_Kong_Bluey |
I'm going to turn this around slightly.
Having lived in Hong Kong for more than 30 years after leaving the sunny climes of Ipswich at 21, I was definitely of the generation where we were expected to leave the family home as soon as possible. The running comments always seemed to be something like "can't wait til the kids are grown up and leave".
The culture in Asia is totally different. Children are not expected to leave home until they are married. And even then, it's perfectly acceptable to continue to live with the parents. My neighbor has 3 generations living there, with 3 young grandkids. It sounds manic, but they always look happy.
Yes there is a financial angle to this. But it's more of a cultural angle, which quite frankly I prefer.
Having 2 of my 3 boys living back in the UK now, we would have them back into the family home in a heartbeat, no matter how old they are (currently 28 + 21). And when I do finally make the move back to the UK, they are welcome to live with us for as long as they want.
In fact, we encourage it. We want to keep the family nucleus together (and yes I realise that doesn't add up with the fact that we live in different countries and I do have a choice to move back).
Same in the Philippines where my wife is from. And basically the same across Asia.
I never used to think this way. I thought the same as my parents that the kids need to get out and be independent as fast as possible. But being surrounded by these different cultures that seem to have a stronger focus on the family togetherness has completely 360'd my view.
And bear in mind we live in rabbit hutches. My 3 bed apartment (lucky to have 3 beds here) is less than 700sqft. And I would dearly love that space to be filled with the boys and their partners, no matter how cramped that would be.
Cultural differences eh! |  | | |
| Adult children... on 06:41 - May 12 with 1464 views | textbackup |
Left school at 16, got an apprenticeship, saved, brought first house aged 19, terrible condition, spent a year getting it in an ok condition to live in, moved out at 20.
And looking on rightmove there are still those sort of houses out there, only slightly more expensive, which would fall in line with the wages etc.
It is achievable. |  |
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| Adult children... on 07:28 - May 12 with 1439 views | Lord_Lucan |
| Adult children... on 01:59 - May 12 by Hong_Kong_Bluey |
I'm going to turn this around slightly.
Having lived in Hong Kong for more than 30 years after leaving the sunny climes of Ipswich at 21, I was definitely of the generation where we were expected to leave the family home as soon as possible. The running comments always seemed to be something like "can't wait til the kids are grown up and leave".
The culture in Asia is totally different. Children are not expected to leave home until they are married. And even then, it's perfectly acceptable to continue to live with the parents. My neighbor has 3 generations living there, with 3 young grandkids. It sounds manic, but they always look happy.
Yes there is a financial angle to this. But it's more of a cultural angle, which quite frankly I prefer.
Having 2 of my 3 boys living back in the UK now, we would have them back into the family home in a heartbeat, no matter how old they are (currently 28 + 21). And when I do finally make the move back to the UK, they are welcome to live with us for as long as they want.
In fact, we encourage it. We want to keep the family nucleus together (and yes I realise that doesn't add up with the fact that we live in different countries and I do have a choice to move back).
Same in the Philippines where my wife is from. And basically the same across Asia.
I never used to think this way. I thought the same as my parents that the kids need to get out and be independent as fast as possible. But being surrounded by these different cultures that seem to have a stronger focus on the family togetherness has completely 360'd my view.
And bear in mind we live in rabbit hutches. My 3 bed apartment (lucky to have 3 beds here) is less than 700sqft. And I would dearly love that space to be filled with the boys and their partners, no matter how cramped that would be.
Cultural differences eh! |
They also look after their elders rather than shove them into old peoples homes.
I asked you a question on another thread but you may not have seen it.
Is HK now like China where they look at you like a madman if you try and pay for something with a debit or credit card? I just got back after an elongated visit and I couldn't use my card anywhere - ended up not even being able to pay my hotel bill. They all seem to pay with Wechat.
Pre Covid everyone accepted cards. |  |
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| Adult children... on 07:53 - May 12 with 1409 views | BondiBlue |
I'm 39 and own a place in sydney with my mrs. But the only way we could afford to buy one was by buying one with her parents (60/40 split and we shared the mortgage payments). Catch was, the house was right next door, so it felt a lot like moving back in with them. Bought them out a couple of years ago while interest rates were low but now we're stuck with a huge loan and wages going nowhere fast. Hopefully will be able to get our own place somewhere else in the next couple of years because still living at home (sort of) at 40 is depressing.
No idea what our kids are going to do when they get to 20. |  |
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| Adult children... on 08:07 - May 12 with 1386 views | Lord_Lucan |
| Adult children... on 07:53 - May 12 by BondiBlue |
I'm 39 and own a place in sydney with my mrs. But the only way we could afford to buy one was by buying one with her parents (60/40 split and we shared the mortgage payments). Catch was, the house was right next door, so it felt a lot like moving back in with them. Bought them out a couple of years ago while interest rates were low but now we're stuck with a huge loan and wages going nowhere fast. Hopefully will be able to get our own place somewhere else in the next couple of years because still living at home (sort of) at 40 is depressing.
No idea what our kids are going to do when they get to 20. |
I feel for the kids, I bought my first house around 1984 for £23,500 and I was earning about £200 a week.
Yesterday was a bad day in Lucan Towers, my fixed mortgage deal expires in August and I thought yesterday morning I had better fix another one before the impending interest rise - my payments will rocket when the deal kicks in - but in a way we have been spoilt with crazy low rates. My future payments will be similar to what they were 15 years ago.
The problem will be the youngsters who have only really known the crazy low interest rates, thousands upon thousands will come unstuck as they would have budgeted on the low rates, and this is coupled with outrageous food and energy prices.
This is only the start of the beginning, A real sh1t show is coming, sorry but I don't think we've seen nothing yet. | |
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| [Redacted] on 08:13 - May 12 with 1366 views | victorywilhappen |
| Adult children... on 08:07 - May 12 by Lord_Lucan |
I feel for the kids, I bought my first house around 1984 for £23,500 and I was earning about £200 a week.
Yesterday was a bad day in Lucan Towers, my fixed mortgage deal expires in August and I thought yesterday morning I had better fix another one before the impending interest rise - my payments will rocket when the deal kicks in - but in a way we have been spoilt with crazy low rates. My future payments will be similar to what they were 15 years ago.
The problem will be the youngsters who have only really known the crazy low interest rates, thousands upon thousands will come unstuck as they would have budgeted on the low rates, and this is coupled with outrageous food and energy prices.
This is only the start of the beginning, A real sh1t show is coming, sorry but I don't think we've seen nothing yet. |
[Redacted] |  | | |
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| Adult children... on 08:17 - May 12 with 1357 views | itfcjoe |
| Adult children... on 06:41 - May 12 by textbackup |
Left school at 16, got an apprenticeship, saved, brought first house aged 19, terrible condition, spent a year getting it in an ok condition to live in, moved out at 20.
And looking on rightmove there are still those sort of houses out there, only slightly more expensive, which would fall in line with the wages etc.
It is achievable. |
The prices have gone mad though, I bought my first in 2008 (3 bed end terrace near Copleston) for £151k, sold it 5 years later for nearly £200k and then it is prob something like £270k now
When I started working in office in town I was on £12.5k, when I left 8 years later there were people with degrees from good unis coming in and asking for £12k a year as they knew that was the going rate |  |
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| Adult children... on 08:21 - May 12 with 1339 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| Adult children... on 08:07 - May 12 by Lord_Lucan |
I feel for the kids, I bought my first house around 1984 for £23,500 and I was earning about £200 a week.
Yesterday was a bad day in Lucan Towers, my fixed mortgage deal expires in August and I thought yesterday morning I had better fix another one before the impending interest rise - my payments will rocket when the deal kicks in - but in a way we have been spoilt with crazy low rates. My future payments will be similar to what they were 15 years ago.
The problem will be the youngsters who have only really known the crazy low interest rates, thousands upon thousands will come unstuck as they would have budgeted on the low rates, and this is coupled with outrageous food and energy prices.
This is only the start of the beginning, A real sh1t show is coming, sorry but I don't think we've seen nothing yet. |
"This is only the start of the beginning, A real sh1t show is coming, sorry but I don't think we've seen nothing yet."
Morning chancellor. Do you mean in terms of interest rates or the economy more widely? What are you seeing in your crystal ball? | |
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| Adult children... on 08:22 - May 12 with 1337 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Adult children... on 18:07 - May 11 by The_Romford_Blue |
Not entirely sure as to the point of this thread whether you’re in favour or not.
But from my perspective as someone 25 next month and still at home.. it’s not at all easy to move out. Financially it’s just not viable for one person. So I’m looking at moving in with a mate. I was with other people at uni for three years but after those years of course we all move back to our own towns. So whilst the option of living with my best mate in Manchester is an option, is it viable? Is it realistic to move the other side of the country to live with her? Probably not.
So then it’s a case of finding someone else who will move in? And then finding the money over a course of a few months.
I know the younger generations like mine get a lot of stick but I think now is undoubtedly the worst time for people my age to be moving out. So we remain and slowly save up. It’s not because w necessarily want to or be burdening the parents but it’s because the system in this country is so f**ked that getting somewhere is almost impossible. Even that would be renting anyway. |
“So whilst the option of living with my best mate in Manchester is an option, is it viable? Is it realistic to move the other side of the country to live with her? Probably not.”
That’s what I had to do. I had to follow the work across the country and then use house shares and lodgings work until I could afford to strike out independently when I was 30. That was what it was like 20-30 years ago, so it’s nothing new at all. Everyone’s different of course and different things work for different people. |  |
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| [Redacted] on 08:30 - May 12 with 1320 views | victorywilhappen |
| Adult children... on 08:17 - May 12 by itfcjoe |
The prices have gone mad though, I bought my first in 2008 (3 bed end terrace near Copleston) for £151k, sold it 5 years later for nearly £200k and then it is prob something like £270k now
When I started working in office in town I was on £12.5k, when I left 8 years later there were people with degrees from good unis coming in and asking for £12k a year as they knew that was the going rate |
[Redacted] | | | |
| Adult children... on 08:40 - May 12 with 1302 views | DJR |
| Adult children... on 08:22 - May 12 by Swansea_Blue |
“So whilst the option of living with my best mate in Manchester is an option, is it viable? Is it realistic to move the other side of the country to live with her? Probably not.”
That’s what I had to do. I had to follow the work across the country and then use house shares and lodgings work until I could afford to strike out independently when I was 30. That was what it was like 20-30 years ago, so it’s nothing new at all. Everyone’s different of course and different things work for different people. |
It is worse now given that average real-term wages are little more than they were in 2007, house prices since 2007 are 50% higher, and rents are sky high.
And issues with housing don't just affect those 40 and below because I have read articles about people in their late 60s having to sofa surf. [Post edited 12 May 2023 8:41]
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| Adult children... on 08:50 - May 12 with 1277 views | clive_baker |
| Adult children... on 08:07 - May 12 by Lord_Lucan |
I feel for the kids, I bought my first house around 1984 for £23,500 and I was earning about £200 a week.
Yesterday was a bad day in Lucan Towers, my fixed mortgage deal expires in August and I thought yesterday morning I had better fix another one before the impending interest rise - my payments will rocket when the deal kicks in - but in a way we have been spoilt with crazy low rates. My future payments will be similar to what they were 15 years ago.
The problem will be the youngsters who have only really known the crazy low interest rates, thousands upon thousands will come unstuck as they would have budgeted on the low rates, and this is coupled with outrageous food and energy prices.
This is only the start of the beginning, A real sh1t show is coming, sorry but I don't think we've seen nothing yet. |
Join the club, mine runs out this summer too and I’m moving from 1.5% to 4%. And that’s with comfortably less than 50% LTV. I consider myself one of the luckier ones though, my first place was a 1 bed flat in a grotty part of South London 10 years ago that nobody wanted to be in at the time. It felt luxurious though having been renting with friends in my early 20’s and saving anything I wasn’t p1ssing up the wall, and its all I could afford at the time. I did it up a bit in my spare time. Mad what a lick of paint and new carpets can do. Saved a bit, did some work etc. Made it more presentable and benefitted from the ridiculous market that nearly doubled its value in 8 years.
It’s still a stinger now though cash flow wise, especially with 2 little ones, childcare, every other cost going up and my wife getting paid a pittance working in the NHS.
I do think we’ll inevitably see a cycle of interest rates coming back down once inflation cools and the real pain starts to kick in when the millions of households like me come off their low rates over the next 18 months. Perhaps not to where they were pre Pandemic but certainly to something sub 3% over the next 24 months. |  |
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| Adult children... on 08:52 - May 12 with 1270 views | GlasgowBlue |
Only 2 years ago I had just the wife and our then 14 year old daughter living full time here. Son away at uni, a daughter away at uni and another daughter living at her boyfriend’s flat in all but name.
Now 23 year old son has graduated and is back at home saving fir his own place, after two years uni daughter decided it’s cheaper to live at home and travel to uni, other daughter split up with the boyfriend after we let them move in here when he couldn’t afford his flat, and the 14 year old is now 16.
The amount of dishes, washing, cars on the driveway etc is horrendous. A three hour film usually has to be watched over two nights as every half hour one of them comes in the lounge to ask a question or ask for a lift to town.
But hey, they are family. What you gonna do? |  |
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| Adult children... on 08:54 - May 12 with 1256 views | Kieran_Knows |
| Adult children... on 08:50 - May 12 by clive_baker |
Join the club, mine runs out this summer too and I’m moving from 1.5% to 4%. And that’s with comfortably less than 50% LTV. I consider myself one of the luckier ones though, my first place was a 1 bed flat in a grotty part of South London 10 years ago that nobody wanted to be in at the time. It felt luxurious though having been renting with friends in my early 20’s and saving anything I wasn’t p1ssing up the wall, and its all I could afford at the time. I did it up a bit in my spare time. Mad what a lick of paint and new carpets can do. Saved a bit, did some work etc. Made it more presentable and benefitted from the ridiculous market that nearly doubled its value in 8 years.
It’s still a stinger now though cash flow wise, especially with 2 little ones, childcare, every other cost going up and my wife getting paid a pittance working in the NHS.
I do think we’ll inevitably see a cycle of interest rates coming back down once inflation cools and the real pain starts to kick in when the millions of households like me come off their low rates over the next 18 months. Perhaps not to where they were pre Pandemic but certainly to something sub 3% over the next 24 months. |
Luckily I've still got 3 years left of our 5 year fixed deal (ends in October 2026). I'm hoping that things will settle down by then, but I've got a feeling they won't have done (currently paying 1.4%). |  |
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| Adult children... on 08:54 - May 12 with 1254 views | GlasgowBlue |
| Adult children... on 22:37 - May 11 by BanksterDebtSlave |
The answer to that is a bus, truck, caravan or whatever....however in the 80's and before you could get away without mot, tax and insurance, fake id's and bank loans were easy too.....not so easy now. |
When my Mrs got to the age of 18 she was given her own “trailer” parked next to her parents. | |
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| Adult children... on 08:58 - May 12 with 1250 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
I had one living at home post-University during the pandemic. One in final year at University now.
Once in a graduate job we had the following ground rules:
We worked out house share room rent for the area. They paid us half that, the other half they saved into a House Buying ISA scheme.
They also paid their share of cable TV and broadband each month, and contributed to food costs.
This meant that their disposable income was roughly the same as if they were living in a house-share. If you don't put these arrangements in place then they get used to a no-fixed costs, everything is disposable income, lifestyle. They have a better lifestyle than you, go on more and nicer holidays, and resentment builds up.
Eventually they decide that they want to be more independent, but if independence cost them the best part of a grands disposable income a month then they wouldn't reach that point, resentments would grow on both sides, and a toxic relationship would be inevitable. Nobody would gain from that, long-term.
A big part of parenting from late teens onwards is giving the environment where the young adult can develop the mental and social resources to be fully independent. Sometimes that means being hard but fair.
Some parents of my generation think it is to be their kids' best mates.
EDIT: this is about our situation with a son with a degree, and how we handled it. He had the potential to earn a livable wage from his mid 20s. I understand that not everyone is in that position.
If young adults are earning Minimum Wage then they will be able to access more support outside of the family home. This puts some families in the position of having to make their child homeless in order for them to be able to access this support.
Parents of young adults with Learning Difficulties or physical disabilities also face completely different challenges on the route to supporting independence. [Post edited 12 May 2023 9:10]
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| Adult children... on 09:01 - May 12 with 1244 views | BiGDonnie |
My boys 14 and he's out the door the day he turns 16  |  |
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| Adult children... on 09:05 - May 12 with 1237 views | BiGDonnie |
| Adult children... on 20:51 - May 11 by blueasfook |
Blueas Jr is 21 and just moved out of mine a couple of weeks ago.
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To go to his mum's  |
You've had an absolute touch. | |
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| Adult children... on 09:06 - May 12 with 1231 views | clive_baker |
| Adult children... on 08:54 - May 12 by Kieran_Knows |
Luckily I've still got 3 years left of our 5 year fixed deal (ends in October 2026). I'm hoping that things will settle down by then, but I've got a feeling they won't have done (currently paying 1.4%). |
That's a great position to be in. I would be confident things will have had to cool down by then. The current base rate increases are unsustainable given the level of mortgage debt most are carrying now. I think they're starting to top out now, I can't see too many further increases once inflation starts to demonstrably fall, and I do think a cycle of reductions is inevitable to kick start what will likely be a fairly stagnant economic picture over the next 12 months.
2023: Base rate to top out something starting in a 4, perhaps even where it is today.
Late 2024: Perhaps start to see a small reduction
2025: Back to 3.something%
All guess work of course but that would be mine.
Best thing you can do is make hay while you're on that rate if you can. [Post edited 12 May 2023 9:09]
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| Adult children... on 09:12 - May 12 with 1217 views | blueasfook |
| Adult children... on 09:05 - May 12 by BiGDonnie |
You've had an absolute touch. |
Well i was getting fed up of him a bit to be fair. Been stuck with him for 21 years - about time he did one |  |
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| Adult children... on 09:13 - May 12 with 1214 views | BiGDonnie |
| Adult children... on 09:12 - May 12 by blueasfook |
Well i was getting fed up of him a bit to be fair. Been stuck with him for 21 years - about time he did one |
Haha! You'll be missing him by next weekend. | |
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| Adult children... on 09:14 - May 12 with 1212 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
| Adult children... on 01:59 - May 12 by Hong_Kong_Bluey |
I'm going to turn this around slightly.
Having lived in Hong Kong for more than 30 years after leaving the sunny climes of Ipswich at 21, I was definitely of the generation where we were expected to leave the family home as soon as possible. The running comments always seemed to be something like "can't wait til the kids are grown up and leave".
The culture in Asia is totally different. Children are not expected to leave home until they are married. And even then, it's perfectly acceptable to continue to live with the parents. My neighbor has 3 generations living there, with 3 young grandkids. It sounds manic, but they always look happy.
Yes there is a financial angle to this. But it's more of a cultural angle, which quite frankly I prefer.
Having 2 of my 3 boys living back in the UK now, we would have them back into the family home in a heartbeat, no matter how old they are (currently 28 + 21). And when I do finally make the move back to the UK, they are welcome to live with us for as long as they want.
In fact, we encourage it. We want to keep the family nucleus together (and yes I realise that doesn't add up with the fact that we live in different countries and I do have a choice to move back).
Same in the Philippines where my wife is from. And basically the same across Asia.
I never used to think this way. I thought the same as my parents that the kids need to get out and be independent as fast as possible. But being surrounded by these different cultures that seem to have a stronger focus on the family togetherness has completely 360'd my view.
And bear in mind we live in rabbit hutches. My 3 bed apartment (lucky to have 3 beds here) is less than 700sqft. And I would dearly love that space to be filled with the boys and their partners, no matter how cramped that would be.
Cultural differences eh! |
"Bloke who doesn't have kids living at home in "Getting misty eyed about kids living at home" shocker!" ;-)
Try it. Seriously, try it. Within 3 months you *will* be able to see at least *some* of the downsides. | | | |
| Adult children... (n/t) on 09:17 - May 12 with 1206 views | Lord_Lucan |
| Adult children... on 08:21 - May 12 by BanksterDebtSlave |
"This is only the start of the beginning, A real sh1t show is coming, sorry but I don't think we've seen nothing yet."
Morning chancellor. Do you mean in terms of interest rates or the economy more widely? What are you seeing in your crystal ball? |
b#gger [Post edited 12 May 2023 9:20]
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