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I'm home alone for the next couple of weeks while the Mrs is on holiday. I've just gone into the kitchen to find a giant house spider chilling on the wall. Tried to catch it, somehow missed, and it's fallen off the wall and gone missing, nowhere to be seen.
What do I even do now (aside from burning the house down)?
Yikes. I was up at 3am the other day because the missus saw a spider on our ceiling. Next thing you know the f**ker jumps down onto the bed and she’s got me taking the whole duvet apart. Not ideal.
As a side note, and you’ll want to unmemorise this fact immediately, did you know that the average human swallows approximately 7 spiders in their lifetime while asleep.
Yikes. I was up at 3am the other day because the missus saw a spider on our ceiling. Next thing you know the f**ker jumps down onto the bed and she’s got me taking the whole duvet apart. Not ideal.
As a side note, and you’ll want to unmemorise this fact immediately, did you know that the average human swallows approximately 7 spiders in their lifetime while asleep.
Sorry chap. Complete urban legend that we swallow spiders whilst we sleep
Unfortunately also seemingly an urban legend that putting conkers in the corner of rooms keeps them away, since I tried it last year and subsequently came in to find a mutant hellspawn spider sitting right next to one I'd put there, as if to do the spider equivalent of flicking the Vs at me. Big enough bastard that I could see it from across the room without my glasses on.
Yikes. I was up at 3am the other day because the missus saw a spider on our ceiling. Next thing you know the f**ker jumps down onto the bed and she’s got me taking the whole duvet apart. Not ideal.
As a side note, and you’ll want to unmemorise this fact immediately, did you know that the average human swallows approximately 7 spiders in their lifetime while asleep.
Cheers for the second paragraph Romford, I’m just about to go to lunch!
stand on the kitchen stool, pull your stockings up, and scream a la tom and jerry?
And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show
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