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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app 14:33 - Dec 17 with 7927 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Should men compliment/chat up women?

The context is an Amazon delivery driver asking a woman he was delivering a parcel to if she's single as she's beautiful.

The majority on there (essentially nosey neighbours with an app) want him strung up, police involved, sacked etc. (during a pandemic, nice!) While I can understand the woman felt intimidated and vulnerable, it'd be a sad world we live in if a guy can't tell a woman he fancies her with a view to a date etc. Are we left with dating apps as the only acceptable way to meet people now?

Hard for me as a man, though, to understand what it's like being harassed by sleazy blokes trying it on. Particularly in an employee/customer situation.

It's a tricky one IMO.

Certainly, years ago, it seemed most couples met through work. I imagine that's massively down now for fear of losing your job at a disciplinary hearing!

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:38 - Dec 17 with 1258 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 16:08 - Dec 17 by lowhouseblue

"the woman felt intimidated and vulnerable"

isn't that all you need to know? mr amazon driver needs to put some more work into choosing occasions when it might be welcomed. he also needs some better lines.


I wouldn't disagree with you there. Maybe he isn't the brightest and just took a chance. He might never meet her in another occasion. It could be perfectly innocent and a case of not thinking it through, caught up in the moment. Certainly some training would be appropriate, but I think calls for his sacking/getting the police involved are massively disproportionate.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:39 - Dec 17 with 1257 viewsjeera

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:33 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

Yeah those are fair points. So her being at home is the main issue, and I can see why that would be an issue.


But what about all those popular films of washing machine repair men just showing up?

That always seems to go swimmingly.

I'm beginning to wonder if this is a matter of job discrimination.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:41 - Dec 17 with 1254 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 16:22 - Dec 17 by jeera

That's what I was saying, it's not clear and the guy might have been innocently taken in by her and misread some signs.

I have always been rubbish at spotting signs.

A friend of my sister once gave me her mobile number, her email address and even her parents' home number because she was temporarily staying with them. I remember thinking 'what a nice thing to do' as she wandered off and often wondered why I never heard from her again.

My sister told me at later date that "Alley says when I see you to tell you you're a sh1t."


haha. I've always been a bit like that.

If he's rubbish at spotting signs he maybe shouldn't be a delivery driver.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:45 - Dec 17 with 1252 viewsDyland

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:25 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

Because that's a delivery driver's version of "through work"? The people he meets are mostly people receiving packages.

As I've said I am playing devil's advocate here, but blimey, you think he should be sacked? Seems very harsh to me.


We surely mean "through work" as in people who get to know each other through their jobs, like working in the same company. It's completely different to this scenario.

No I don't "think he should be sacked" per se. I can imagine it's a sackable offence if someone complained, and if the bod has previous.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:45 - Dec 17 with 1248 viewsDyland

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:33 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

Yeah those are fair points. So her being at home is the main issue, and I can see why that would be an issue.


That is entirely the issue imo.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:47 - Dec 17 with 1244 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:39 - Dec 17 by jeera

But what about all those popular films of washing machine repair men just showing up?

That always seems to go swimmingly.

I'm beginning to wonder if this is a matter of job discrimination.


If they're hunky Brad Pitt types it's fine and not creepy. Especially if they drink Diet Coke.

That's what's always bothered me about the word "creepy," especially when used by women. I've lived with several women (dating or just housemates) and it seems to me if a guy is hot they go all giggly, if not he's a creep.

Trust the process. Trust Phil.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:48 - Dec 17 with 1244 viewsjeera

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:45 - Dec 17 by Dyland

That is entirely the issue imo.


That bloke who used to sneak in to the bedrooms of sleeping women to deliver chocolates.

Whilst optimistically leaving a contact card.

He'd never get away with that now would he.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:48 - Dec 17 with 1244 viewsDyland

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:29 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

So if she's not at home it's alright? Remember those old Impulse perfume ads where a guy buys a bunch of flowers and hands then to the pretty girl walking through the market? Would that not be acceptable now?

Like I say, it's a tough one, and more nuanced than "he's a perve, it's a disgrace, sack him/arrest him."


Yes absolutely.

The problem in this scenario is purely and simply this lass is at home, and doesn't know this dude from Adam. I'm sure most women won't give two fooks, but bet yer ass there are some who would be uncomfortable and even threatened, regardless of the man's actual character. They don't know him.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:49 - Dec 17 with 1236 viewsfooters

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:45 - Dec 17 by Dyland

We surely mean "through work" as in people who get to know each other through their jobs, like working in the same company. It's completely different to this scenario.

No I don't "think he should be sacked" per se. I can imagine it's a sackable offence if someone complained, and if the bod has previous.


It's like hitting on a barmaid for me but in reverse.

If she's going about her job, then she doesn't need blokes cracking on to her while she's doing it. Likewise, if I'm at home and someone intrudes on my right to feel as I'd like there, then that's equally not on. More professionalism and less of the sliding doors bollox, please.

Plus, these delivery blokes have better things to do right now. Especially as my presents aren't all here after two fecking weeks.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:52 - Dec 17 with 1224 viewsjeera

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:47 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

If they're hunky Brad Pitt types it's fine and not creepy. Especially if they drink Diet Coke.

That's what's always bothered me about the word "creepy," especially when used by women. I've lived with several women (dating or just housemates) and it seems to me if a guy is hot they go all giggly, if not he's a creep.


If you don't fancy the guy then just say so, it's fine.

No need to call him names!

My eldest sister used to have this guy hanging around her as teenagers. He was a bit gawky looking to be fair and would ride this battered old bike everywhere. She was horrible to him. Poor chap, we all felt sorry for him.

In adult life he turned into a bit of a looker and became a self-made multi-millionaire owning a transport firm.

I couldn't wait to tell her when I realised who he was.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:53 - Dec 17 with 1222 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:45 - Dec 17 by Dyland

We surely mean "through work" as in people who get to know each other through their jobs, like working in the same company. It's completely different to this scenario.

No I don't "think he should be sacked" per se. I can imagine it's a sackable offence if someone complained, and if the bod has previous.


Fairy nuff.

I had a 'situation' once with a client, who I'd only known very briefly as we met on a shoot for a TV ad in Barcelona. I held back when it came to it... thinking I'd get in trouble. I mentioned it to my boss about a week later and he laughed and said I should've gone for it, she was well up for it! I told him I thought I might get sacked and he said, "nah, I would've applauded you."

I cursed myself for being so sensible!

Trust the process. Trust Phil.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:53 - Dec 17 with 1222 viewsfactual_blue

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:32 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

"Accost"?!

He just said his line, she said she has a husband, and he left (with his tail between his legs). That was it.


accost
approach and address (someone) boldly or aggressively.

So yes, he accosted her. If not aggressively, then clearly boldly.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:54 - Dec 17 with 1219 viewsfooters

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:53 - Dec 17 by factual_blue

accost
approach and address (someone) boldly or aggressively.

So yes, he accosted her. If not aggressively, then clearly boldly.


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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:54 - Dec 17 with 1217 viewsfactual_blue

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 15:59 - Dec 17 by Dyland

Aye and most likely she wouldn't have given a sh1te anyway! Nonetheless, it's deffo misconduct cos in the few instances someone would feel uncomfortable, that's a big deal for her, being the fact this total stranger is at her home. She doesn't even need to feel overtly threatened for it to be an issue. So even if the majority of women may not give a sh1t, it just isn't something where one can play the odds re company standards of behaviour.


Although I imagine the driver is 'self-employed' rather than an employee.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:55 - Dec 17 with 1215 viewsfactual_blue

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:54 - Dec 17 by footers

You are my favourite pendant.


Well, I'm always hanging around on here.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:56 - Dec 17 with 1208 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:48 - Dec 17 by Dyland

Yes absolutely.

The problem in this scenario is purely and simply this lass is at home, and doesn't know this dude from Adam. I'm sure most women won't give two fooks, but bet yer ass there are some who would be uncomfortable and even threatened, regardless of the man's actual character. They don't know him.


Adam, on the other hand...PHWOAR!

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:03 - Dec 17 with 1189 viewsfactual_blue

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:22 - Dec 17 by Keno

But does Mrs P still have a 'fine arse'?


Do you mean as a husband?


The jury's out on that.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:10 - Dec 17 with 1188 viewsm14_blue

Pretty simple really, the guy is out of order and needs telling as much.

He shouldn’t lose his job though, unless he makes a habit of it.
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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:13 - Dec 17 with 1182 viewsDubtractor

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 14:36 - Dec 17 by JakeITFC

Dating somebody you work with is very different from the scenario you're talking about here, seeing as both people want that to happen presumably.

I wouldn't go as far as saying the driver needs sacking, but this is clearly not on is it.


Yeah, the context of doing that, in that situation, is not on at all.

He deserves no punishment though, just the understanding that he is a bit of a nob.
[Post edited 17 Dec 2020 18:15]

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:15 - Dec 17 with 1178 viewsm14_blue

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:10 - Dec 17 by m14_blue

Pretty simple really, the guy is out of order and needs telling as much.

He shouldn’t lose his job though, unless he makes a habit of it.


And just to add, if a delivery driver came to my house and tried it on with my missus then I would be absolutely raging and probably act in a way unbecoming of a lefty bumfester.

Seems to me like he’s been watching too much porn, which I can sympathise with.
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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:20 - Dec 17 with 1174 viewsDubtractor

As an aside to this thread, I recently created an account on Nextdoor for our local area, and after 2 weeks deleted it. Such a hate filled platform - like all of the racists and xenophobes and narrow minded people from facebook news comments have gathered in one place.

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:25 - Dec 17 with 1158 viewshoppy

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:47 - Dec 17 by The_Flashing_Smile

If they're hunky Brad Pitt types it's fine and not creepy. Especially if they drink Diet Coke.

That's what's always bothered me about the word "creepy," especially when used by women. I've lived with several women (dating or just housemates) and it seems to me if a guy is hot they go all giggly, if not he's a creep.


You can't trust the adverts...

So which side of the fence did you fall on - were your housemates very giggly?

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:27 - Dec 17 with 1157 viewsjeera

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:15 - Dec 17 by m14_blue

And just to add, if a delivery driver came to my house and tried it on with my missus then I would be absolutely raging and probably act in a way unbecoming of a lefty bumfester.

Seems to me like he’s been watching too much porn, which I can sympathise with.


Ahem.

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app by jeera 17 Dec 2020 17:39
But what about all those popular films of washing machine repair men just showing up?

That always seems to go swimmingly.

I'm beginning to wonder if this is a matter of job discrimination.


Poll: Xmas dinner: Yorkshires or not?

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:30 - Dec 17 with 1152 viewsjeera

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 17:49 - Dec 17 by footers

It's like hitting on a barmaid for me but in reverse.

If she's going about her job, then she doesn't need blokes cracking on to her while she's doing it. Likewise, if I'm at home and someone intrudes on my right to feel as I'd like there, then that's equally not on. More professionalism and less of the sliding doors bollox, please.

Plus, these delivery blokes have better things to do right now. Especially as my presents aren't all here after two fecking weeks.


Yes, cos none of us have ever fancied our chances with a barmaid after a few drinks have we!

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Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:36 - Dec 17 with 1145 viewsThe_Flashing_Smile

Big debate raging on our local Nextdoor app on 18:20 - Dec 17 by Dubtractor

As an aside to this thread, I recently created an account on Nextdoor for our local area, and after 2 weeks deleted it. Such a hate filled platform - like all of the racists and xenophobes and narrow minded people from facebook news comments have gathered in one place.


Wow. I think that says more about the area you live in. Ours is mostly lost cats, petty complaints about roadworks and the police reporting on crime. The police are quite amusing on ours actually, saying things like "we apprehended a couple of ne' de wells."

Trust the process. Trust Phil.

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