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Had your ears lowered? 11:04 - Feb 4 with 3528 viewsclive_baker

Following a haircut.

What are the 'gags' made in certain situations that are so routine they're almost rude not to come out with?

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Had your ears lowered? on 15:33 - Feb 4 with 1057 viewsNthsuffolkblue

Had your ears lowered? on 12:10 - Feb 4 by Chondzoresk

Ask Phil.


Surprised you have only downvoted this, Phil. Thought you might have hit the abuse reported button!

Giving him a chance for an apology or is he banned?

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Had your ears lowered? on 15:48 - Feb 4 with 1037 viewsjaykay

i see the wood is showing through now

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Had your ears lowered? on 15:49 - Feb 4 with 1030 viewsMattinLondon

Had your ears lowered? on 15:33 - Feb 4 by Nthsuffolkblue

Surprised you have only downvoted this, Phil. Thought you might have hit the abuse reported button!

Giving him a chance for an apology or is he banned?


Never apologise to a baldie.
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Had your ears lowered? on 15:52 - Feb 4 with 1021 viewsfooters

Had your ears lowered? on 15:49 - Feb 4 by MattinLondon

Never apologise to a baldie.


Baldies will take everything you have and hurt everyone you love without a second thought. Never trust 'em.

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Had your ears lowered? on 15:55 - Feb 4 with 1017 viewsjontysnut

Where'd you get your hair cut, Sainsburys? as Mike Read on Runaround asked some tonsorially challenged kid.

See also 'be nice when it's finished' and 'where'd you get your hair cut, well get them for you'.
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Had your ears lowered? on 17:11 - Feb 4 with 962 viewshoppy

Whenever someone says "Take a seat", there's usually someone that sees it as their duty to respond with "Where to?".

(That person isn't me, I would like to add).

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Had your ears lowered? on 17:48 - Feb 4 with 944 viewsMattinLondon

Had your ears lowered? on 15:52 - Feb 4 by footers

Baldies will take everything you have and hurt everyone you love without a second thought. Never trust 'em.


If a baldie doesn’t care enough to keep their own hair then they won’t care about anything else. Wrong uns.
[Post edited 4 Feb 2022 18:02]
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Had your ears lowered? on 18:30 - Feb 4 with 919 viewsjontysnut

Had your ears lowered? on 12:31 - Feb 4 by Bluish

Walking into the office looking vaguely smarter than usual to be met with "Did you get the job?"


And on seeing someone unexpectedly in a suit 'what time are you in court?'
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Had your ears lowered? on 19:16 - Feb 4 with 893 viewscbower

Had your ears lowered? on 13:43 - Feb 4 by Swansea_Blue

'Ah, this is where the big nobs hang out'


The classic retort to that "so this is where the big knobs hang out" is, of course, "well it was until you arrived!"

bluescouser

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Had your ears lowered? on 19:26 - Feb 4 with 891 viewsSeablu

When anyone had time off for a dental check up, our MD would stick his round the door and say..
‘Don’t tell me. Your teeth are fine but your gums have got to come out?’
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Had your ears lowered? on 20:27 - Feb 4 with 852 viewsArnoldMoorhen

"Did you grow up in a barn?"

When someone exits the room and leaves the door open.
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Had your ears lowered? on 20:33 - Feb 4 with 845 viewsfabian_illness

‘Can I borrow your loo?’

‘Yes, as long as you bring it back’
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Had your ears lowered? on 21:41 - Feb 4 with 810 viewsVic

Had your ears lowered? on 12:28 - Feb 4 by clive_baker

When are you getting it finished is an absolute belter.


I had that many, many times when I had a ‘Phil Oakey’ many, many years ago!

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Had your ears lowered? on 21:46 - Feb 4 with 802 viewsNthsuffolkblue

Had your ears lowered? on 21:41 - Feb 4 by Vic

I had that many, many times when I had a ‘Phil Oakey’ many, many years ago!


You could have a Lionel Blair cut ...

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Had your ears lowered? on 21:46 - Feb 4 with 802 viewsVic

Had your ears lowered? on 17:11 - Feb 4 by hoppy

Whenever someone says "Take a seat", there's usually someone that sees it as their duty to respond with "Where to?".

(That person isn't me, I would like to add).


Or the alternative when someone is about to sit in an empty seat next to you - ‘is anyone sitting in this seat?’

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Had your ears lowered? on 21:48 - Feb 4 with 800 viewsVic

Had your ears lowered? on 21:46 - Feb 4 by Nthsuffolkblue

You could have a Lionel Blair cut ...


You know that I really couldn’t!!

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Had your ears lowered? on 01:05 - Feb 5 with 743 viewsArnoldMoorhen

Had your ears lowered? on 21:46 - Feb 4 by Nthsuffolkblue

You could have a Lionel Blair cut ...


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Had your ears lowered? on 01:42 - Feb 5 with 732 viewsPablo_Counago

Recently had a buzzcut and everytime I see a mate I get the same lines:

'Have you just done a stint in prison'

'You joining the army'

'Has your hair fallen off'

Also a surprising amount of people checking if I have a receding hairline and also a fair amount of having to explain I dont have the racist type of buzzcut
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Had your ears lowered? on 01:55 - Feb 5 with 729 viewshoppy

Had your ears lowered? on 21:46 - Feb 4 by Vic

Or the alternative when someone is about to sit in an empty seat next to you - ‘is anyone sitting in this seat?’


Similarly, when you’re out for a meal and having finished eating your main, with an empty plate in front of you, a waiter comes to ask “have you finished?” before proceeding to take the plate. “Well I’m not sure, there might be a granule of salt I’ve missed?!”

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Had your ears lowered? on 07:37 - Feb 5 with 692 viewsITFC_Forever

Had your ears lowered? on 12:10 - Feb 4 by Chondzoresk

Ask Phil.


A down-vote from Phil. Brutal.

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Had your ears lowered? on 08:31 - Feb 5 with 679 viewsbentley_blue

‘Did you keep the receipt’ and ‘Who did that, the council’ are the two the funny bloke at work uses.
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Had your ears lowered? on 09:20 - Feb 5 with 656 viewsjeera

Just one hair? What about the rest of them?

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Had your ears lowered? on 09:40 - Feb 5 with 645 viewshoppy

Off for a haircut…

“Are you picking it up later, or are they doing it while you wait?”

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