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My job has been under threat for nigh on a year now with zero reassurance, and lots of other things going on too. So maybe that why I found myself welling up over and over again listening to Mark Ashton this week.
His passion for the club, and our owners level headedness has made me fall in love with this club again, when I'd spent a long time wondering why I was bothering with it at all.
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 08:37 - Dec 11 by ArnoldMoorhen
Sorry to hear about these pressures, and the effect that they are having on you.
Rather than "Talk to a professional" I would say the best advice is "Keep talking"- to a few different people, and find those who are most helpful. Whose company leaves you feeling better about yourself..? Who doesn't make you dwell on things, but instead is able to lift your horizons?
Your current situation is highly stressful, and is largely beyond your control. One facet of depression is when things are beyond our control and we hold that sense of powerlessness inwardly. Another is when we are only able to focus on ourselves.
So, for the first facet I would suggest that you find ways to become active rather than passive in this situation. Take as much control as you can. Get your CV up to date now. Start looking at the job market. Think about your transferable skills and how you will spin your achievements.
Ask the "life change" questions: What motivates me? What are my priorities? What have I always wanted to do but haven't ever done? Where have I always wanted to live, but never had the impetus to make the leap?
For the second, the key is finding those people who lift you out of yourself, who help you expand your horizons and who inspire you.
Sounds like Mark Ashton is one of those! That's great! Now find others. It could be authors or podcasts or comedians or whoever. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. And make time for the people who genuinely care about you and won't be emotional vampires if you are feeling down, draining you further.
One final little tip: there is very little sunlight at the moment. Consider taking a very strong vitamin D3 supplement. I find it makes a difference to my ability to be positive.
Particularly good point about vit D3. A 1000iu one-a-day supplement on the advice of my GP resulted in an immediate big uplift in my energy when In Sept. 2018 on a routine blood test I was found to have only about 40% of what I should (& that was after the particularly long, hot, sunny summer which I spent mostly outside in a t-shirt!)
It's sometimes taken with zinc to increase absorption.
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 10:50 - Dec 11 by The_Flashing_Smile
I don't know much Pink Floyd but I enjoyed that, cheers!
Well some might say this isn't *real* Pink Floyd. It's from the Division Bell album - produced after Roger Waters left the band. Lyrics were written by Polly Samson (David's missus). But I still think it's a decent album on the whole.
"Blueas is a great guy, one of the best." - Donald Trump
I have a couple of friends where once in a while we’ll go on a long country walk and put the world to rights. One of my mates was having a rough time at work and ended up offloading for over an hour and then was like ‘Bloody hell, needed to get that out’.
I did the same about the pressures I felt with parenthood and Madge going through the wringer with the pregnancy.
Personally found being out in the countryside very cathartic for stress. Also bottling stuff up just ends in an explosion. Do your best to offload however you find best. Talking to friends, professionals, venting here or going for a long walk to clear your head.
It won’t necessarily fix the issues at hand, but sharing a problem can make it feel less overwhelming.
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 11:19 - Dec 11 with 1818 views
It's easy to slowly slip into the abyss. When it gets on top like this, small problems feel like huge problems, and big problems feel impossible to mend... A tactic I use, to help me in these situations , is to literally draw a line and start again. I don't mean give up on everything. I mean, give yourself some head space. Pick a day on the calendar and tell yourself, its a fresh page. (New Years Day, is always a good day to reboot, imo..) Then try and deal with a problem at a time, those that you can control. Instead of looking at everything as one big tangled ball of string. Chip away at things. Completing small tasks, and hitting small achievable targets. Is a real confidence boost and can give you an all round lift , to go on and complete another manageable task. Whether that's dealing with a bill, dealing with a family matter or just giving the house a tidy up etc.. The job situation sounds stressful. And I can imagine the conversations in the work place being quite down beat.. The only way I can think of , to try and "own" that situation. Would be to try and make some preparation for what my lay ahead... Save a bit cash, if you can. Put some feelers out for similar work.. As you say, the football's been an up lift, these last 18 months. My advice would be to try not to cling to it and rely on it as the only positive in your life. As, when we lose, it becomes a double whammy.. Get some small things done, it will give you a lift and some self belief. If it were me. I'd be looking at New Year as a fresh page and a fresh start... Sincerely all the best. One thing at a time, one day at a time.
There is very definitely something special happening at our club, I may venture that we may be witnessing the beginning of history repeating. Whatever happens, let's enjoy it!
On a completely unrelated matter, link is to a US music humour site who publish parody song lyrics. Scroll through til you see an original song you know, tap on the parody title & hopefully, have a chuckle!
Well done for sharing mate, and there is lots of practical advice on here. One step at a time and draw up a simple action plan. Simple things like getting outside even in winter, eating healthy, seeing & sharing with friends will help.
Most on here have experienced something similar, and we have all thrived on the wonderful progress and change of fortunes at our beloved club. As a senior going back to standing on a wooden box for a bob ticket aged 10 in 1959, I have seen some amazing highs and terrible lows.
I survived advanced prostate cancer and then a year ago I was crashed into by a car while riding my bike! Multiple fractures, hip, pelvis, ribs and learnt to walk again, and all the time, the excitement and friendship of following ITFC has kept me going. Sadly, the journey to PR is too much of a challenge now.
So, best of luck mate, and I sure you will be fine.
OldGaffer
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:02 - Dec 11 with 1498 views
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 08:21 - Dec 11 by mrshallisfit
Joe Joey Junior. On the cutting edge. Doing cutting edge things. In the go getting post-Thatcher run it up your flagpole American go get them. Blah. Blah. Blah.
Really not sure what advising someone to talk to a trained professional in dealing with mental struggles is being viewed as a horrible reply by a few of you. It’s helped people that I know and not everyone makes that step. Or was it the I hope you feel better and good luck part that upset people?
I choose not go down a path of in depth personal stories because I don’t really want to do that on an anonymous forum, many have done shared their experiences and that’s fine. If my tone came across as a bit short and to the point on such a serious subject then I apologize because I’m big enough to do that but it was certainly wasn’t meant to be the case. It was simply a piece of advice.
However, up arrows for calling me a bit of c**t, odd place sometimes.
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:23 - Dec 11 with 1420 views
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:02 - Dec 11 by Joey_Joe_Joe_Junior
Really not sure what advising someone to talk to a trained professional in dealing with mental struggles is being viewed as a horrible reply by a few of you. It’s helped people that I know and not everyone makes that step. Or was it the I hope you feel better and good luck part that upset people?
I choose not go down a path of in depth personal stories because I don’t really want to do that on an anonymous forum, many have done shared their experiences and that’s fine. If my tone came across as a bit short and to the point on such a serious subject then I apologize because I’m big enough to do that but it was certainly wasn’t meant to be the case. It was simply a piece of advice.
However, up arrows for calling me a bit of c**t, odd place sometimes.
Your first reply was blunt with no frills. Perhaps a softer approach was needed given the circumstances.
And "you should talk to a professional" while relevant sdvice is also regularly used in an unfriendly manner like "you need help mate". Or is that just me?
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:42 - Dec 11 with 1359 views
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:23 - Dec 11 by Buhrer
Your first reply was blunt with no frills. Perhaps a softer approach was needed given the circumstances.
And "you should talk to a professional" while relevant sdvice is also regularly used in an unfriendly manner like "you need help mate". Or is that just me?
I’ve already addressed your first point. However, if you’re somehow going to interpret it as unfriendly, there really isn’t much else I can do, apart from say that’s a pretty nasty accusation on your side. I know people close to me that it’s helped.
I’m done here.
[Post edited 11 Dec 2023 15:45]
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:51 - Dec 11 with 1315 views
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:42 - Dec 11 by Joey_Joe_Joe_Junior
I’ve already addressed your first point. However, if you’re somehow going to interpret it as unfriendly, there really isn’t much else I can do, apart from say that’s a pretty nasty accusation on your side. I know people close to me that it’s helped.
I’m done here.
[Post edited 11 Dec 2023 15:45]
Haven't accused you of much apart from being a bit thoughtless. Take it on the chin or not.
Ive had a shjt day. No offence intended. Peace.
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 16:00 - Dec 11 with 1278 views
I think of my mental wellbeing like riding a bike. When I crash I get back on. I think that all the elements of my life that sustain me positively are like spokes on my wheels. You can lose a few spokes, bend a few. But too many and your wheel is going to throw a wobbly and you will crash. Perception is everything. Some people see me riding on my bike and think I'm confidently popping a wheelie. They can't see the front wheel has come off. Forward we ride!
Watching Ipswich, and significantly the real positive bond watching Town creates with my family, friends and others is a big spoke on my wonky wheel. COYB.
[Post edited 11 Dec 2023 16:01]
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 16:23 - Dec 11 with 1224 views
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:51 - Dec 11 by Buhrer
Haven't accused you of much apart from being a bit thoughtless. Take it on the chin or not.
Ive had a shjt day. No offence intended. Peace.
Fair enough, I did address the no frills, tbh I was on my phone falling asleep after getting home from a long day and it wasn’t meant to be unfriendly AT ALL as I’ve stated.
Well hopefully the week looks up, starting tomorrow in WD18.
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 16:27 - Dec 11 with 1214 views
Thank you to everyone who has reached out, PM'ed me or just offered words of support. I was at a particularly low ebb last night, was on my own and needed to vocalise.
I am getting professional help, I've a telephone appointment tomorrow with the MH practitioner at my GP surgery, but such is the state of MH provision in this country, I've had to wait a considerable time for this, and in the intervening period, its declined further.
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:02 - Dec 11 by Joey_Joe_Joe_Junior
Really not sure what advising someone to talk to a trained professional in dealing with mental struggles is being viewed as a horrible reply by a few of you. It’s helped people that I know and not everyone makes that step. Or was it the I hope you feel better and good luck part that upset people?
I choose not go down a path of in depth personal stories because I don’t really want to do that on an anonymous forum, many have done shared their experiences and that’s fine. If my tone came across as a bit short and to the point on such a serious subject then I apologize because I’m big enough to do that but it was certainly wasn’t meant to be the case. It was simply a piece of advice.
However, up arrows for calling me a bit of c**t, odd place sometimes.
Firstly. Please accept my apologies for calling you that, I don't need you to accept the apology, but I mean it, none the less.
I was on my own last night and needed to reach out to someone, and at five to midnight it struck me that TWTD was a pretty good place to do it. There are lots of people on this forum that have and are going through similar stuff, so I took the decision to admit that currently, I'm struggling.
I'm afraid that your response caught me off guard, obviously I need to talk to a mental health professional, but your one sentence response, where you hadn't considered that I probably already was getting help, came across as entirely non empathetic, and it felt as though you were making a point of 'well, don't tell us, do something about it'. Maybe that wasn't how you meant it, but then tone doesn't come across well in text.
After I replied, you pretty much doubled down on that. I know you know nothing about my job, I know you really don't care about it, and I don't expect you too. Its not just my job thats caused it, as I said there are a few other things contributing, like long term grief, but I shouldn't have to explain myself any further.
I'll be alright, I'm getting help, as I said, my apology is there should you want it. If not, that's cool too.
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:02 - Dec 11 by Joey_Joe_Joe_Junior
Really not sure what advising someone to talk to a trained professional in dealing with mental struggles is being viewed as a horrible reply by a few of you. It’s helped people that I know and not everyone makes that step. Or was it the I hope you feel better and good luck part that upset people?
I choose not go down a path of in depth personal stories because I don’t really want to do that on an anonymous forum, many have done shared their experiences and that’s fine. If my tone came across as a bit short and to the point on such a serious subject then I apologize because I’m big enough to do that but it was certainly wasn’t meant to be the case. It was simply a piece of advice.
However, up arrows for calling me a bit of c**t, odd place sometimes.
There was no "I hope you feel better and good luck part" in your initial post and it only appears to be an edit in your second as well, so it seems you've realised yourself that your initial post was blunt and could be construed as uncaring.
Instead on snapping back at people you might consider why it was seen that way by several people, and rather than getting sarcastic in a thread trying to help someone, perhaps you could've just said, "Sorry, I didn't mean it that way" and just left it at that.
Trust the process. Trust Phil.
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My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 16:55 - Dec 11 with 1111 views
My mental health has been in my boots for a long time. on 15:42 - Dec 11 by Joey_Joe_Joe_Junior
I’ve already addressed your first point. However, if you’re somehow going to interpret it as unfriendly, there really isn’t much else I can do, apart from say that’s a pretty nasty accusation on your side. I know people close to me that it’s helped.
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