| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... 18:01 - Jan 24 with 3190 views | gainsboroughblue |
I'm over 50 and I've basically given up on being able to wrap presents without using way too much paper and it being a screwed up mess with loose bits of sellotape everywhere, including my clothing.
Poaching an egg. Just no.
Cracking an egg into a bowl without getting shell in it. Have tried all techniques. Still no dice.
Wrapping stuff in clingfilm without it all shrivelling up. Mope. |  |
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| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:37 - Jan 24 with 794 views | Pique |
Changing duvet covers. |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:43 - Jan 24 with 759 views | urbanblue |
Pump action products like shower gel, hand wash and the like. I turn the fecking pump over and over again and half the time they never pop up.
Still don't know what I'm doing wrong. |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:56 - Jan 24 with 733 views | bazza |
Flipping a fried egg |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 23:05 - Jan 24 with 688 views | syntaxerror |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:37 - Jan 24 by Pique |
Changing duvet covers. |
There is a trick to that.
Climb inside it, pretend to be a ghost for a minute or 2, then get the corners matched, and inelegantly extricated yourself while keeping the corners locked in.
Turn it inside out and shake it til it fits.
Job done. |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 23:14 - Jan 24 with 674 views | Bugs |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 23:05 - Jan 24 by syntaxerror |
There is a trick to that.
Climb inside it, pretend to be a ghost for a minute or 2, then get the corners matched, and inelegantly extricated yourself while keeping the corners locked in.
Turn it inside out and shake it til it fits.
Job done. |
Me when I was 10! |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 00:29 - Jan 25 with 628 views | BlueBadger |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 20:28 - Jan 24 by factual_blue |
If you weren't around in the Silurian period, you've no chance. |
Presumably because their modern ways were a bit too much for you? |  |
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| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 04:13 - Jan 25 with 584 views | Benters |
Silver foil that doesn’t quite tare off the roll properly,meaning the said piece you want gets smaller and smaller. |  |
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| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 07:25 - Jan 25 with 538 views | The_Flashing_Smile |
Opening any kind of packet that has a little 'pull-tab' corner... without the pull-tab coming off in my hand.
I suspect it's the makers of said packets who are hopeless rather than me.
I'd agree with poaching an egg a few years ago, but I've got it off to a fine art now.
Once your water's boiling, crack your egg in and immediately turn off the heat. Leave for 2 mins then scoop out with a slotted spoon and dunk immediately in cold water, then onto kitchen tissue. Job done. |  |
| Trust the process. Trust Phil. |
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| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 11:56 - Jan 25 with 441 views | Churchman |
Ok, narrowing down to the most important things:
1. Sardine tin ring pulls.
Now years ago they came with a key and you rolled back the lid. The best you could hope for was that the cuts weren’t too deep. Now you get a little ring pull tab, lift and tug. The lid will peel back slowly and smoothly.
No it ffing wont!! It won’t move at all, the pull will come off, the lid will come half off, you’ll wind up wearing half the contents while nursing cuts almost as bad as the key version. Yes, I’ve tried the wooden spoon handle lever technique, but half the time that doesn’t work either. Even the flipping can isn’t designed to be held. Evil things.
2. Disappearing channel changers
I can never find the bl**dy things. They walk off, hide, look for new ways to annoy me.
3. Remembering peoples’ names. I’ve never been able to do it. People should have numbers. Far easier. |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 13:37 - Jan 25 with 414 views | Ryorry |
Not being able to work out double negatives.
Calculating percentages. No matter how many times I read the rules, I just never remember them.
Btw, re duvets - you don't have to climb inside them , just insert the top two corners to exactly fit the cover corners, pinch & hold together 2 + 2, then shake down, standing on a box or top of stairs if you're not a tall person. [Post edited 25 Jan 13:54]
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| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 13:52 - Jan 25 with 395 views | DropCliffsNotBombs |
Knots - ability to tie and untie both elude me.
Putting a USB in the right way round. |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 14:37 - Jan 25 with 364 views | Cafe_Newman |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 13:37 - Jan 25 by Ryorry |
Not being able to work out double negatives.
Calculating percentages. No matter how many times I read the rules, I just never remember them.
Btw, re duvets - you don't have to climb inside them , just insert the top two corners to exactly fit the cover corners, pinch & hold together 2 + 2, then shake down, standing on a box or top of stairs if you're not a tall person. [Post edited 25 Jan 13:54]
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So what you're not saying is that you don't know nothing about double negatives, right? |  | | |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 15:12 - Jan 25 with 345 views | OldFart71 |
| Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:36 - Jan 24 by Swansea_Blue |
Straight forward my arse! (That's not an invitation for Wicklow either  )
I don't think anyone works out life. Some people probably get close just as they draw their last breath, but I've a feeling I'll have got about 5% there by then. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up and I'm in a kind-of-retirement already. |
When I was a school a long, long time ago I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do. I went for an interview at a local factory but didn't get a job. Mum asked me what I wanted to do now so I said as I liked food I'd be a chef. Went back to school and was put with the girls when they did domestic science. Left school and went to the old Civic College in Ipswich, after that I had another year at Colchester Tech. I got a couple of City and Guilds in catering and then got a job in what was then the Royal Hotel Norwich. Had a year there, asked for a pay rise or to be made up to a full waiter, didn't get either so I left and went to Courtaulds as a weaver in a mill, had around 4 years there before moving back home and working at the lawnmowers in Stowmarket, then I worked for Sampson Blinds as a fitter and then moved to what was Taylor Barnards on the A140 as a warehouseman, left after a year and went back to the lawnmowers. Left there in 1977 and got a job at ICI and had spells filling paint, filtering resin, a resin cook and working in the Engineering stores. Left after 25 years and got a job in the clothing stores at Wattisham airfield, left after 10 years and got a part time job at PPG Stowmarket (formerly I.C.I. ) supplying PPE to the various departments and doing the laundry. Retired at 71. Do I wish I had done something else with my life ? Yes. Wish I had dealt with antiques a sort of American Pickers type job. |  | | |
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