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Mrs Beard had a friend pop round yesterday afternoon where the simple story she was attempting to explain should've simply been:
"I was at the supermarket, remembered you lived nearby and thought, I know, I'll pop round".
Instead we had tangents ranging from bumping into an old school friend who has lost a load of weight, multi-packs of Kit-Kat Chunky's, bumping into an old school friend who has put on a shed load of weight, kids (naturally) and then some 30 minutes later mentioned that she thought she'd pop in and say hello whilst in the area.
All this was going on whilst the US where on their short-lived mini charge in the Ryder Cup.
I'm sure a sympathetic judge would have taken the charge down to manslaughter in the event of me going full Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
I found myself resisting the urge to throw 3 ladies out the train window on Saturday pretty much during the whole journey between Lemington Spa and and Coventry. Not even a set of earphones blasting at full volume could cancel out the shrieks of fake piercing laughter as one told the others about "a pretty delicious cookie she won in a raffle".
Train was rammed as well, so any hope of moving down the carriage was impossible. My desire for a pint hasn't been that high for a long time...
Reasonably easy on the eye, bit unhinged, loves a drink but calmed down massively since being married.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
I had to eat a burger yesterday with a screaming child at the table next to me.
Zaks Thetford
[Post edited 1 Oct 2018 16:56]
Did you catch the new Beeb drama last night?
I liked the cut of the Aussie geezer's gib. 30hr flight with other half and baby. Pops on his eye mask & ear plugs and leaves her & the screaming littl'un to it whilst the rest of the plane complains.
I think you're supposed to think he's a bit of a cad, however...
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
I liked the cut of the Aussie geezer's gib. 30hr flight with other half and baby. Pops on his eye mask & ear plugs and leaves her & the screaming littl'un to it whilst the rest of the plane complains.
I think you're supposed to think he's a bit of a cad, however...
No.
What was it.
“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.”
Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
In the spirit of reconciliation and happiness at the end of the Banter Era (RIP) and as a result of promotion I have cleared out my ignore list. Look forwards to reading your posts!
Story about an Aussie chap living in Scotland who cheats on his wife with a younger partner and wife takes kid to live back in Oz.
Him and new partner and baby go over to OZ in an attempt to win custody of the child (14) but baby gets taken from the car. It was done in flash backs/real time and was a bit messy. Don't think I'll bother with the remaining two.
Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing.
A ten minute walk to the shops taking 40 minutes because she insists on stopping and talking to everybody she walks past, whilst I stand there like a bellend because I have no idea who the people they are gossiping about are.
Story about an Aussie chap living in Scotland who cheats on his wife with a younger partner and wife takes kid to live back in Oz.
Him and new partner and baby go over to OZ in an attempt to win custody of the child (14) but baby gets taken from the car. It was done in flash backs/real time and was a bit messy. Don't think I'll bother with the remaining two.
That's a shame, I know the author. Her novels are nicely extreme, so the adaptation might take off in those next two.
A ten minute walk to the shops taking 40 minutes because she insists on stopping and talking to everybody she walks past, whilst I stand there like a bellend because I have no idea who the people they are gossiping about are.
Yes, the same thing happens to me. Some women - and my wife is one of them - are incapable of closing a conversation once it's started. so they both continue talking about not very much for 10 minutes until one of them plucks up the courage to say "OK. Must go now."
Yes, the same thing happens to me. Some women - and my wife is one of them - are incapable of closing a conversation once it's started. so they both continue talking about not very much for 10 minutes until one of them plucks up the courage to say "OK. Must go now."
My wife is talking to me now, I am turned off, I am not listening.
What puzzles me is when women go out, they sit around a table and take it in turns to talk but none of them are listening to what any of the others are saying, they simply await their turn.
“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.”
Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
Mrs. Mary Caterham (GB) and Mrs. Marjorie Steele (GB) sat in a kitchen in Blackburn, Lancs. and talked about nothing whatsoever for four and a half months from 1st May to the 17th August 1978, pausing only for coffee, cakes & toilet visits. Throughout the whole time, no information was exchanged and neither woman gained any new knowledge whatsoever. The outdoor record for talking about nothing is held by Mrs. Vera Etherington (GB) and her neighbour Mrs. Dolly Booth (GB) of Ipswich, who between 11th November 1983 and 12th January 1984 chundered on over their fence in an unenlightening dialogue lasting 62 days until Mrs. Booth remembered she'd left the bath running.
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