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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... 18:01 - Jan 24 with 3208 viewsgainsboroughblue

I'm over 50 and I've basically given up on being able to wrap presents without using way too much paper and it being a screwed up mess with loose bits of sellotape everywhere, including my clothing.

Poaching an egg. Just no.

Cracking an egg into a bowl without getting shell in it. Have tried all techniques. Still no dice.

Wrapping stuff in clingfilm without it all shrivelling up. Mope.

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:08 - Jan 24 with 2347 viewsWicklowBlue

Sexual Intercourse
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:10 - Jan 24 with 2327 viewsKeno

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:08 - Jan 24 by WicklowBlue

Sexual Intercourse


Do you mean ‘doing the sex’
[Post edited 24 Jan 18:11]

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:10 - Jan 24 with 2326 viewsBluesky

Getting the clingfilm off the feck'n roll in the first place, without it embracing itself and appearing to go the opposite way round the roll.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:18 - Jan 24 with 2266 viewsSwailsey

Life

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:19 - Jan 24 with 2263 viewsjontysnut

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:10 - Jan 24 by Bluesky

Getting the clingfilm off the feck'n roll in the first place, without it embracing itself and appearing to go the opposite way round the roll.


I usually end up with an inch wide 25 foot long strip
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:20 - Jan 24 with 2246 viewsronnyd

Fitting new wiper blades on the car.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:23 - Jan 24 with 2233 viewsOldsmoker

Convincing the receptionist (computer says no) at my health centre to give me an appointment to see my doctor.

Don't believe a word I say. I'm only kidding. Or am I?
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:28 - Jan 24 with 2211 viewsChurchman

Actually, it’s far quicker to name the things I’m not hopeless at.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:36 - Jan 24 with 2169 viewsSwansea_Blue

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:18 - Jan 24 by Swailsey

Life


Straight forward my arse! (That's not an invitation for Wicklow either )

I don't think anyone works out life. Some people probably get close just as they draw their last breath, but I've a feeling I'll have got about 5% there by then. I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up and I'm in a kind-of-retirement already.

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:39 - Jan 24 with 2162 viewsgtsb1966

Ironing. It's not laziness as I do the housework but I just can't do it.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:47 - Jan 24 with 2113 viewsBloomBlue

Putting my boxers on the right way round.

Getting those new fancy hand air drivers in public toilets to work. Those ones under the mirror, you have a soap sign, water sign then the air drier sign. No probs with soap & water but why can I never get the fecking drier to work, it should be so simple.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:50 - Jan 24 with 2093 viewsiamatractorboy

Writing. My handwriting shocking, would make a doctor's look neat. I think it's worse than it was when I was about 6, no exaggeration.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:00 - Jan 24 with 2056 viewsMattinLondon

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:08 - Jan 24 by WicklowBlue

Sexual Intercourse


Are you putting it in the wrong hole?
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:03 - Jan 24 with 2046 viewsfactual_blue

Life generally

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:26 - Jan 24 with 1960 viewshomer_123

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:03 - Jan 24 by factual_blue

Life generally


Sadly - this. Thanks Facters.

Ade Akinbiyi couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo...
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:32 - Jan 24 with 1935 viewscatch74

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:03 - Jan 24 by factual_blue

Life generally


How much practise do you need?

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:34 - Jan 24 with 1917 viewsLinners

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 18:19 - Jan 24 by jontysnut

I usually end up with an inch wide 25 foot long strip


Is this a reply to the sexual intercourse comment?
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:35 - Jan 24 with 1916 viewsLinners

Draw straight lines with a ruler.
Following directions
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 20:28 - Jan 24 with 1823 viewsfactual_blue

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:32 - Jan 24 by catch74

How much practise do you need?


If you weren't around in the Silurian period, you've no chance.

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 20:52 - Jan 24 with 1740 viewsTampa_Florida_Blue

I figured out the best way to wrap presents, stop buying them.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:11 - Jan 24 with 1698 viewsWeirdFishes

I can’t butter bread. I’d consider myself to be a decent cook but buttering bread, nope.

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:18 - Jan 24 with 1665 viewsCafe_Newman

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 19:00 - Jan 24 by MattinLondon

Are you putting it in the wrong hole?


Is there such a thing?
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:21 - Jan 24 with 1637 viewsCafe_Newman

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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:23 - Jan 24 with 1630 viewssyntaxerror

I relate to all those things, Gainsborough.
And ironing.

Also taking the sticky seal tab off a loaf of bread.
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Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:36 - Jan 24 with 1597 viewsWicklowBlue

Perfectly straight forward things you are fecking hopeless at... on 21:23 - Jan 24 by syntaxerror

I relate to all those things, Gainsborough.
And ironing.

Also taking the sticky seal tab off a loaf of bread.


I'm with you on this! (Not related to my previous contribution)

Also, why can I not make easy open/seal packets of cheese work? I spend ages trying to get the train tracks to align....then end up rolling the fecker around itself and dumping it into the fridge.

Don't get me started on easy peel packs of cold meats....

Maybe viagra could help solve all my problems???
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