| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 20:33 - May 20 with 2243 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 19:59 - May 20 by ArnoldMoorhen |
That's not a particularly helpful response, even if you intended it to be.
A child becoming a young person becoming a sexually awakened adult is a complex journey with many factors involved, and trying to concentrate on any particular "whys" just appears to the young person that you are trying to explain away their lived experience and feelings.
Glasow's daughter will have had to overcome inner doubt and hesitancy so much just to open up to her parents about this, regardless of how loving they are.
It's a painful journey sometimes, and judgement free listening is often more important than answers or analysis. |
A further general point following a chat over dinner with Junior and this insane pressure to form identity, sexual or otherwise, apparently when creating an 'Instagram bio' you are encouraged to chose the pronouns you like to be known by from a drop down menu. It's fekkin ridiculous imho! But then I just think we are constantly evolving human beings...human was not one of the options strangely enough! |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 20:47 - May 20 with 2218 views | Mullet |
Ask her if she'd like to try https://www.kooth.com/ if it helps mate.
It sounds like school might have it covered, but likewise the NHS are swamped but brilliant with this stuff. There's also an app called "Mindshift" which is free, it has a diary function and various strategies for anxieties etc.
I can go to our child protection team tomorrow if you need anything specific. Just give us a shout. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 20:59 - May 20 with 2187 views | SpruceMoose |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 20:33 - May 20 by BanksterDebtSlave |
A further general point following a chat over dinner with Junior and this insane pressure to form identity, sexual or otherwise, apparently when creating an 'Instagram bio' you are encouraged to chose the pronouns you like to be known by from a drop down menu. It's fekkin ridiculous imho! But then I just think we are constantly evolving human beings...human was not one of the options strangely enough! |
But why is it ridiculous to offer options for how many people identify? Just because we don't understand it, or because it doesn't particularly impact us, that doesn't make it ridiculous. I'm sure he/she are on the list and are the most commonly selected anyway. |  |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:04 - May 20 with 2172 views | GlasgowBlue |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 20:47 - May 20 by Mullet |
Ask her if she'd like to try https://www.kooth.com/ if it helps mate.
It sounds like school might have it covered, but likewise the NHS are swamped but brilliant with this stuff. There's also an app called "Mindshift" which is free, it has a diary function and various strategies for anxieties etc.
I can go to our child protection team tomorrow if you need anything specific. Just give us a shout. |
Cheers Mullers. You have mail. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:23 - May 20 with 2136 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 20:59 - May 20 by SpruceMoose |
But why is it ridiculous to offer options for how many people identify? Just because we don't understand it, or because it doesn't particularly impact us, that doesn't make it ridiculous. I'm sure he/she are on the list and are the most commonly selected anyway. |
Because it seeks for us to define ourselves at a moment in time when in reality identity is transitory, particularly in our younger years. | |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:23 - May 20 with 2134 views | WeWereZombies |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:04 - May 20 by GlasgowBlue |
Cheers Mullers. You have mail. |
Obviously sorry to hear of the difficulties Glassers, but isn't this thread of good example of TWTD pulling together. All I can add is to advise that whenever things have seemed impossibly difficult for me that situation has not endured and the good times arrive. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:24 - May 20 with 2131 views | itfcjoe |
I feel very fortunate that when we entered lockdown my kids were 3 and 1, no age is ideal but their ages have made it ok (I think) |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:25 - May 20 with 2126 views | itfcjoe |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 17:22 - May 20 by GlasgowBlue |
I've not been on here much lately as we've had a bit of a shock. Last week we had a call from school to say that my 14 year old daughter has been self harming.
She has been struggling with her sexuality over the past year and a bit and lockdown has badly affected her mental health.
Wasn't going to say anything about it on here but when I saw the Sky News article which says that a quarter of people my daughter's age are doing the same, I thought it needed to be highlighted. |
Sorry to hear that GB, hope all is as well as it can be | |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:43 - May 20 with 2096 views | SpruceMoose |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:23 - May 20 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Because it seeks for us to define ourselves at a moment in time when in reality identity is transitory, particularly in our younger years. |
Alternatively, all it does is provide multiple choices for people at the time in their life when forcing them to choose from just two could be damaging or alienating. I'm not sure 'people need fewer freedoms' is ever a winning argument.
Anyway, not the time or place to go into this I suppose. GB, I gave your post an upvote earlier but also wanted to say that I hope your daughter comes to navigate all this, and that you all end up in a better place. [Post edited 20 May 2021 21:47]
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| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 22:27 - May 20 with 2052 views | J2BLUE |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 19:56 - May 20 by BanksterDebtSlave |
An issue of some sort....almost like a badge of identity. There is so much visibility on social media for things like self harming that it only takes one moment of a troubling thought to spark a "aha I know what to do now" response.
Tbh my personal thought is that in this ever connected (virtually) world, individuals have never been more alone and this will have been made even more exaggerated by lockdown. It's almost like society promotes exactly the wrong values regarding belonging and community. [Post edited 21 May 2021 7:57]
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Interesting, cheers.
Agree. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 07:52 - May 21 with 1949 views | IPS_wich |
First of all - Glassers, I hope your family can work through these tough times - you have my best wishes.
Secondly, if I can offer some insights/reflections on this from a reasonable position of knowledge - although I hasten to add I am not a clinician by background.
I have led over a dozen service reviews and evaluations for the Mental Health Commission in Western Australia and was recently appointed to run the project within the Commission that is supporting a Ministerial Taskforce into the future of child and adolescent mental health. In UK terms a Ministerial Taskforce is the equivalent of a public inquiry. So these insights are based upon Australian data - but the health systems and issues are incredibly similar to the NHS/UK.
You are absolutely right, it is a ticking time bomb, and it is one that COVID is frankly just the straw to break the camels back. There are four major factors all colliding at the same time:
1) More children and adolescents (and by that I mean 5-16 year olds) are routinely experiencing mental ill health than 10 years ago. There is no one root cause, there are many factors - social media, rolling news and fake news, gender/identity diversity, cancel culture, lack of sleep (a 10 year old gets on average 90 minutes less sleep per night than in 2000), increasing financial pressures on households, easier access to hard drugs - to name but a few.
2) Children are experiencing mental ill health at a much younger age than 10 years ago.
3) The supply of the mental health workforce hasn't kept up with the growth in demand, and child and adolescent mental health services are much less attractive to work in than adult mental health services (because seeing what's happening with kids now is routinely traumatic)
4) Government health expenditure has primarily been channeled into (to be blunt) baby boomers who are living longer and often with long term chronic diseases. This is off the back of 20 years of warnings about the impact on health services drowning under the growth in numbers of people living longer. So money is only now beginning to be diverted to mental health services - and child and adolescent mental health isn't at the front of the queue.
The consequence of this is that the majority of child and adolescent mental health funding now goes to hospitals and the health service only really responds once a child is in crisis. There's very little funding going into community treatment or early prevention/intervention services.
Was this predictable, maybe - but I would stop short of blaming government for years of under investment, because my sense this has caught a lot of people by surprise. Certainly from the statistics in Australia the system was reasonably balanced as recently as 2015/16 - and has only started to implode since 2018.
But make no mistake, it has imploded and is going to take more than just a bit of money to solve. This was going to happen COVID or no COVID.
I'll leave you with this statistic - over 50% of adults who have long term mental ill health issues, had these issues by the time of their 14th birthday. What we do today in the area of child mental health will shape the mental health of the whole population for the next 50-60 years. It will cost government and society far far more than the levels of smoking in the 50s/60s/70s has caused in the last 20 years. |  | | |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 08:06 - May 21 with 1930 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 07:52 - May 21 by IPS_wich |
First of all - Glassers, I hope your family can work through these tough times - you have my best wishes.
Secondly, if I can offer some insights/reflections on this from a reasonable position of knowledge - although I hasten to add I am not a clinician by background.
I have led over a dozen service reviews and evaluations for the Mental Health Commission in Western Australia and was recently appointed to run the project within the Commission that is supporting a Ministerial Taskforce into the future of child and adolescent mental health. In UK terms a Ministerial Taskforce is the equivalent of a public inquiry. So these insights are based upon Australian data - but the health systems and issues are incredibly similar to the NHS/UK.
You are absolutely right, it is a ticking time bomb, and it is one that COVID is frankly just the straw to break the camels back. There are four major factors all colliding at the same time:
1) More children and adolescents (and by that I mean 5-16 year olds) are routinely experiencing mental ill health than 10 years ago. There is no one root cause, there are many factors - social media, rolling news and fake news, gender/identity diversity, cancel culture, lack of sleep (a 10 year old gets on average 90 minutes less sleep per night than in 2000), increasing financial pressures on households, easier access to hard drugs - to name but a few.
2) Children are experiencing mental ill health at a much younger age than 10 years ago.
3) The supply of the mental health workforce hasn't kept up with the growth in demand, and child and adolescent mental health services are much less attractive to work in than adult mental health services (because seeing what's happening with kids now is routinely traumatic)
4) Government health expenditure has primarily been channeled into (to be blunt) baby boomers who are living longer and often with long term chronic diseases. This is off the back of 20 years of warnings about the impact on health services drowning under the growth in numbers of people living longer. So money is only now beginning to be diverted to mental health services - and child and adolescent mental health isn't at the front of the queue.
The consequence of this is that the majority of child and adolescent mental health funding now goes to hospitals and the health service only really responds once a child is in crisis. There's very little funding going into community treatment or early prevention/intervention services.
Was this predictable, maybe - but I would stop short of blaming government for years of under investment, because my sense this has caught a lot of people by surprise. Certainly from the statistics in Australia the system was reasonably balanced as recently as 2015/16 - and has only started to implode since 2018.
But make no mistake, it has imploded and is going to take more than just a bit of money to solve. This was going to happen COVID or no COVID.
I'll leave you with this statistic - over 50% of adults who have long term mental ill health issues, had these issues by the time of their 14th birthday. What we do today in the area of child mental health will shape the mental health of the whole population for the next 50-60 years. It will cost government and society far far more than the levels of smoking in the 50s/60s/70s has caused in the last 20 years. |
A great, if worrying post.
At the risk of going a bit Mary Whitehouse I don't imagine the increased necessity to have both parents working due to the continuing downward pressure on wages has helped much either. Is it too much to ask that parents should be able to afford to parent for at least the first 5 years? | |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 08:10 - May 21 with 1925 views | Swansea_Blue |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 17:22 - May 20 by GlasgowBlue |
I've not been on here much lately as we've had a bit of a shock. Last week we had a call from school to say that my 14 year old daughter has been self harming.
She has been struggling with her sexuality over the past year and a bit and lockdown has badly affected her mental health.
Wasn't going to say anything about it on here but when I saw the Sky News article which says that a quarter of people my daughter's age are doing the same, I thought it needed to be highlighted. |
Bloody hell. Sending best wishes. I'm not aware of the support mechanisms in place, but I'm sure there are professionals around that will be able to give her (all of you) the support you need to get through it.
(Just don't put your trust in this Govt. to systematically get to the bottom of the wider problem. Not picking a fight, just based on their track record). |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 08:28 - May 21 with 1910 views | Dubtractor |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 17:22 - May 20 by GlasgowBlue |
I've not been on here much lately as we've had a bit of a shock. Last week we had a call from school to say that my 14 year old daughter has been self harming.
She has been struggling with her sexuality over the past year and a bit and lockdown has badly affected her mental health.
Wasn't going to say anything about it on here but when I saw the Sky News article which says that a quarter of people my daughter's age are doing the same, I thought it needed to be highlighted. |
Its good that you're aware of the self harming and can at least try and talk about it, though clearly not an easy subject to discuss.
I really hope you're all able to come out of this stronger, and from what I know of you you'll be giving the right advice to help your daughter. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 08:40 - May 21 with 1902 views | eireblue |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 17:22 - May 20 by GlasgowBlue |
I've not been on here much lately as we've had a bit of a shock. Last week we had a call from school to say that my 14 year old daughter has been self harming.
She has been struggling with her sexuality over the past year and a bit and lockdown has badly affected her mental health.
Wasn't going to say anything about it on here but when I saw the Sky News article which says that a quarter of people my daughter's age are doing the same, I thought it needed to be highlighted. |
Darn, that’s tough. Can’t really add anything, except send best wishes, and hope you all get through this. |  | | |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 08:43 - May 21 with 1899 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 21:43 - May 20 by SpruceMoose |
Alternatively, all it does is provide multiple choices for people at the time in their life when forcing them to choose from just two could be damaging or alienating. I'm not sure 'people need fewer freedoms' is ever a winning argument.
Anyway, not the time or place to go into this I suppose. GB, I gave your post an upvote earlier but also wanted to say that I hope your daughter comes to navigate all this, and that you all end up in a better place. [Post edited 20 May 2021 21:47]
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Perhaps not chosing from any would be better! | |
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| Whilst this is a huge concern, and rightly needs attention... isn't social media on 08:59 - May 21 with 1883 views | unstableblue |
... continuous smart phone access, and on-line hate/bullying perhaps as big if not greater challenge to children/teenage mental health in 2021??
"Before the pandemic, A&E attendances by children with psychiatric conditions had tripled in the last 10 years."
The teachers, heads and carers I speak to are very concerned, kids have become very brutal in their on-line personas and a lot of kids are struggling.
Another issue, and their are numerous concerning cases in North Essex is boys actions on girls and demands on them, again fuelled by social media and messaging, and driven by the 'norms' boys are picking up from freely available and extreme porn.
Obviously there is a link to the valid point you are making in that time being schooled at home removes physical interaction and phone downtime in the school environment. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 09:22 - May 21 with 1863 views | BlueAlex |
It's just shocking. I am a clinical psychologist who until recently worked in a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS).
As with many others, we were just flooded. We wanted to see young people but half the job became trying to keep people on the waiting lists safe. As with other areas of the NHS, the brilliance of the staff only served to cover up the cracks in the provision up to a point. The criteria for who was accepted into the service shifted so significantly over the years.
I started a private practice seeing young people during the pandemic. I was overwhelmed with referrals within weeks. I get referrals from people who would otherwise have had to wait 4 years for their child to be seen.
The biggest positive is that the support that can (eventually) be found does work. I know that there are exceptions to this but for the huge majority, how they're feeling at the moment does pass. Best wishes to everyone who is either directly or indirectly struggling. |  | | |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 10:17 - May 21 with 1808 views | Darth_Koont |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 07:52 - May 21 by IPS_wich |
First of all - Glassers, I hope your family can work through these tough times - you have my best wishes.
Secondly, if I can offer some insights/reflections on this from a reasonable position of knowledge - although I hasten to add I am not a clinician by background.
I have led over a dozen service reviews and evaluations for the Mental Health Commission in Western Australia and was recently appointed to run the project within the Commission that is supporting a Ministerial Taskforce into the future of child and adolescent mental health. In UK terms a Ministerial Taskforce is the equivalent of a public inquiry. So these insights are based upon Australian data - but the health systems and issues are incredibly similar to the NHS/UK.
You are absolutely right, it is a ticking time bomb, and it is one that COVID is frankly just the straw to break the camels back. There are four major factors all colliding at the same time:
1) More children and adolescents (and by that I mean 5-16 year olds) are routinely experiencing mental ill health than 10 years ago. There is no one root cause, there are many factors - social media, rolling news and fake news, gender/identity diversity, cancel culture, lack of sleep (a 10 year old gets on average 90 minutes less sleep per night than in 2000), increasing financial pressures on households, easier access to hard drugs - to name but a few.
2) Children are experiencing mental ill health at a much younger age than 10 years ago.
3) The supply of the mental health workforce hasn't kept up with the growth in demand, and child and adolescent mental health services are much less attractive to work in than adult mental health services (because seeing what's happening with kids now is routinely traumatic)
4) Government health expenditure has primarily been channeled into (to be blunt) baby boomers who are living longer and often with long term chronic diseases. This is off the back of 20 years of warnings about the impact on health services drowning under the growth in numbers of people living longer. So money is only now beginning to be diverted to mental health services - and child and adolescent mental health isn't at the front of the queue.
The consequence of this is that the majority of child and adolescent mental health funding now goes to hospitals and the health service only really responds once a child is in crisis. There's very little funding going into community treatment or early prevention/intervention services.
Was this predictable, maybe - but I would stop short of blaming government for years of under investment, because my sense this has caught a lot of people by surprise. Certainly from the statistics in Australia the system was reasonably balanced as recently as 2015/16 - and has only started to implode since 2018.
But make no mistake, it has imploded and is going to take more than just a bit of money to solve. This was going to happen COVID or no COVID.
I'll leave you with this statistic - over 50% of adults who have long term mental ill health issues, had these issues by the time of their 14th birthday. What we do today in the area of child mental health will shape the mental health of the whole population for the next 50-60 years. It will cost government and society far far more than the levels of smoking in the 50s/60s/70s has caused in the last 20 years. |
Very interesting.
I think many of the social issues are global in developed countries. No country can be immune from the positive/negative effects of increasing digital and social media vs. more traditional hobbies and socialising (clubs, group activities, sport etc.).
But re: overall social and health initiatives, have you looked at the Nordic countries in comparison? In my own experience, they seem to prioritise children, their wellbeing and their development as the foundation of society. Would be interesting to see if that focus has helped them lessen the effects of modern life or if they are also unable to hold back the tide. |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 11:04 - May 21 with 1762 views | soupytwist |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 17:22 - May 20 by GlasgowBlue |
I've not been on here much lately as we've had a bit of a shock. Last week we had a call from school to say that my 14 year old daughter has been self harming.
She has been struggling with her sexuality over the past year and a bit and lockdown has badly affected her mental health.
Wasn't going to say anything about it on here but when I saw the Sky News article which says that a quarter of people my daughter's age are doing the same, I thought it needed to be highlighted. |
Sorry to hear about what you and your family have been going through Glassers, hope it is resolved soon.
The teenage mental situation is worrying, my 16 year old daughter has been struggling with it recently and it's manifested itself in one of the other ways that is not unusual among teenage girls.
Thankfully my wife is experienced in child safeguarding and hopefully we can provide or get the help she needs. |  | | |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 11:24 - May 21 with 1733 views | SpruceMoose |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 08:43 - May 21 by BanksterDebtSlave |
Perhaps not chosing from any would be better! |
No. Because you'd still end up forcing people into him/her who didn't want to be him/her because that's the dominant identification. Unless everyone just goes by 'they'. Still problematic though. Pretending something isn't an issue for many doesn't make it go away.
Still not convinced 'no option' is better than two options | |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 11:52 - May 21 with 1712 views | The_Romford_Blue |
From my own experience, I think I was about 15 when I first started ripping out my eyelashes and the rest. Didn’t even realise I was depressed at the time until a good while later. It just feels like clouds of constant darkness I guess. Problem is very quickly that quick pain (can be anything but it was the hair thing for me) becomes a ‘go to’ in a crisis situation. And as a teenager, everything feels like a crisis at that age.
It’s usually a case of speaking to trusted friends and getting out and away from normal routine. Falling into a same old, same old situation would be my undoing personally. I can’t imagine being in lockdown, knowing there’s no way for an escape, has been easy at all on youngsters.
I did do a module on this at uni actually and how the developmental side of teenagers is so overwhelming at 13-16 that everything is heightened. Small things feel like the end of the world. It does, imo, seem to be something on the rise in recent years and I have no doubt that social media is playing a massive part in that. It’s so horribly easy for a youngster to feel isolated and/or bullied just from some tweets or a school group chat. It’s something that needs to be looked into to stop the cycle. The need for larger funding for mental health in general, but particularly for teenagers, is something that hopefully will happen soon. Or more and more will self-harm and the rest. Those statistics are frightening.
Very sorry to hear about your daughter GB |  |
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| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 16:02 - May 21 with 1619 views | DebsyAngel |
| This is a ticking time bomb that is going to affect quite a few on 11:52 - May 21 by The_Romford_Blue |
From my own experience, I think I was about 15 when I first started ripping out my eyelashes and the rest. Didn’t even realise I was depressed at the time until a good while later. It just feels like clouds of constant darkness I guess. Problem is very quickly that quick pain (can be anything but it was the hair thing for me) becomes a ‘go to’ in a crisis situation. And as a teenager, everything feels like a crisis at that age.
It’s usually a case of speaking to trusted friends and getting out and away from normal routine. Falling into a same old, same old situation would be my undoing personally. I can’t imagine being in lockdown, knowing there’s no way for an escape, has been easy at all on youngsters.
I did do a module on this at uni actually and how the developmental side of teenagers is so overwhelming at 13-16 that everything is heightened. Small things feel like the end of the world. It does, imo, seem to be something on the rise in recent years and I have no doubt that social media is playing a massive part in that. It’s so horribly easy for a youngster to feel isolated and/or bullied just from some tweets or a school group chat. It’s something that needs to be looked into to stop the cycle. The need for larger funding for mental health in general, but particularly for teenagers, is something that hopefully will happen soon. Or more and more will self-harm and the rest. Those statistics are frightening.
Very sorry to hear about your daughter GB |
I was about 15 when I started - carving my arm with a compass blade in lessons, and the scars were noticed by a few teachers and I got told to stay behind after assembly. They accused me of being on drugs! I made out I had a new cat that had scratched me.
Over the years, the self harming got worse - overdosing on pills, using razors and broken glass on my arms, wrists and stomach... I never got any help though and my parents did not understand or know what to do.
It is more well recognised now, which I am glad about, and hope that anyone suffering can get help. I still do it occasionally when it all gets on top of me, but I try to busy my mind to doing something else.
Best of luck to anyone's children (or indeed themselves) who experience this. |  | | |
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