| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? 08:56 - Apr 14 with 2349 views | davblue |
Last 3 or 4 days i've been struggling a bit, 6 week old and a 4 year old children, lack of sleep, little one is pretty demanding at the moment especially at night time, we aren't getting any down time as she fights sleeping from 7pm until 10pm, so we are having to settle her down constantly.
Appreciate that comes with the territory, but being locked down also isn't helping, im bored beyond belief without getting any time for anything i want to do either selfishly. |  | | |  |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 08:59 - Apr 14 with 1912 views | Lord_Lucan |
I really sympathise with your situation, the best I can suggest is a long daily walk. |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:03 - Apr 14 with 1896 views | giant_stow |
Yes, same here: only got one kid, but it's never been harder to keep him entertained without going out of our minds. Behaviour is also becoming a problem.
Its not selfish to want to do some things for yourself - it'll keep you sane and better able to loook after the nippers. |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:05 - Apr 14 with 1889 views | Pinewoodblue |
Try one of you taking the little one for a walk early evening. Keep your fingers crossed that you transfer, her when you get back, without waking her. |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:13 - Apr 14 with 1864 views | bluelagos |
At the risk of a Twtd stazi meltdown, get outside as much as you can. Shopping, walk the long way, use your exercise too. Take the family if you can too.
The moaners will tell you are irresponsible, but you know what, if you socially distancing then let them worry. Your mental health is important, as is your family's wellbeing. If you can findma quite spot, some mindful meditation works a treat too.
In a nutshell, do what is right for you, in a sensible CV responsible manner and dont let the hysterical response of others stop you. |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:30 - Apr 14 with 1807 views | Churchman |
With just me and the misses, things are fine. The house is only a boring semi, but has a back garden and the countryside is 10 mins walk away. We count ourselves very lucky.
By comparison, the people next door have 3 young children and the woman’s mother just round the corner who has been seriously ill in recent months (Not C-19). While the husband scoots off to work 6 days a week, she is left with it and its hard. Yes, it goes with the territory, but that it’s still a tough gig. To top it off, she’s even had abuse in in the supermarket for hoarding, even though she is just catering for 6! |  | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:39 - Apr 14 with 1787 views | bluelagos |
And to relieve the boredom - the Peter Crouch podcasts are very enjoyable if you've never listened to them.... | |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:41 - Apr 14 with 1786 views | davblue |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:30 - Apr 14 by Churchman |
With just me and the misses, things are fine. The house is only a boring semi, but has a back garden and the countryside is 10 mins walk away. We count ourselves very lucky.
By comparison, the people next door have 3 young children and the woman’s mother just round the corner who has been seriously ill in recent months (Not C-19). While the husband scoots off to work 6 days a week, she is left with it and its hard. Yes, it goes with the territory, but that it’s still a tough gig. To top it off, she’s even had abuse in in the supermarket for hoarding, even though she is just catering for 6! |
see i feel bad for saying what i did. My Mrs is the one who's looking after the kids whilst i work and the job she is doing is amazing, i lose my temper with my boy especially, (not hurting him or anything like that, i just get cross) and she's a cool as a cucumber. I'm full of admiration for her, she's doing night shifts in the week, then looking after the kids. | | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:47 - Apr 14 with 1776 views | davblue |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:39 - Apr 14 by bluelagos |
And to relieve the boredom - the Peter Crouch podcasts are very enjoyable if you've never listened to them.... |
I've actually purchased some Lego to build. I've not been into it for years since i was a child, but i got some for my boy a few weeks ago and actually enjoyed doing it with him.
So i got a couple of 1000+ piece ones, James Bond DB5 and Kylo Ren's shuttle.
The Blue Monday interview podcasts are good and the Transfer window ones are good, only problem is time to listen and that's whilst im at work. | | | |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:57 - Apr 14 with 1737 views | davblue |
Thanks, im in Oxfordshire but will take a look. | | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:14 - Apr 14 with 1709 views | Churchman |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:47 - Apr 14 by davblue |
I've actually purchased some Lego to build. I've not been into it for years since i was a child, but i got some for my boy a few weeks ago and actually enjoyed doing it with him.
So i got a couple of 1000+ piece ones, James Bond DB5 and Kylo Ren's shuttle.
The Blue Monday interview podcasts are good and the Transfer window ones are good, only problem is time to listen and that's whilst im at work. |
I used to love Lego. It’s great! But being ancient, you just got the bricks of various sizes, little boards to attach it, roofy bricks and wheels. Oh the privations of yoof! | | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:16 - Apr 14 with 1699 views | Mookamoo |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:57 - Apr 14 by davblue |
Thanks, im in Oxfordshire but will take a look. |
Sleep is an issue for an awful lot of people at the moment. A lot of that course will be mindfulness techniques which you try to research yourself (small children don't help I know). And advising on zero stimulants such as tea/coffee.
Also progressive muscle relaxation before you go to bed. |  | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:27 - Apr 14 with 1663 views | Steve_M |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:41 - Apr 14 by davblue |
see i feel bad for saying what i did. My Mrs is the one who's looking after the kids whilst i work and the job she is doing is amazing, i lose my temper with my boy especially, (not hurting him or anything like that, i just get cross) and she's a cool as a cucumber. I'm full of admiration for her, she's doing night shifts in the week, then looking after the kids. |
Don't feel bad about it. The stress and frustration is genuine and being open about it, even on here, is a necessary step in being able to deal with it. And, as ever, with these sort of posts this board responds with advice and encouragement.
Keep sharing on here if you need to and take some time for yourself whee necessary (the Lego seems a good start, bit of an overlap with your son too). |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:41 - Apr 14 with 1613 views | Lord_Lucan |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:41 - Apr 14 by davblue |
see i feel bad for saying what i did. My Mrs is the one who's looking after the kids whilst i work and the job she is doing is amazing, i lose my temper with my boy especially, (not hurting him or anything like that, i just get cross) and she's a cool as a cucumber. I'm full of admiration for her, she's doing night shifts in the week, then looking after the kids. |
Wait till you step on a bit of lego, your'e gonna go crazy! | |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:46 - Apr 14 with 1611 views | ipswich78 |
There's nothing wrong with anything you said, in fact I think it's much better to vent it in a forum like this rather than let it build up. Whilst not in exactly the same position if have a little one that is nearly three so do understand some of your pressures.
We've found that we have had to relax a lot of the 'norms' due to the current situation, if he wants to get in to bed with us (which is most nights currently) we let him, it's not worth the agro at the moment when trying to juggle working at home etc. my wife works in the NHS so she is working odd hours as well.
It is very much exhausting trying to juggle it all, what we do (and I appreciate it may not be possible for everybody) is have clear responsibilitiesin the house in regards to jobs and childcare ensuring each other gets a break every now and then.
Oh, and please don't think the above implies I / we are not struggling we are - but this does seem to help even if just a little. [Post edited 14 Apr 2020 10:46]
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:46 - Apr 14 with 1605 views | Nthsuffolkblue |
Young children who are not sleeping through is always hard work regardless. In lockdown it is a different set of difficulties.
Are you working? From home? Those things will make it more difficult too.
Is your partner well? Might she have Post Natal Depression? Are you getting the right level of support from health visitors? It is usually less with the second one as you know a lot more than you did the first time.
Don't be afraid to seek help. There will be someone from the health visiting team you should be able to get hold of. If not, contact your GP and talk to them.
EDIT: Don't feel guilty for wanting time to do things for yourself either. If your partner is well, can you take it in turns to give each other a bit of space. Have a rota where you deal with the children from 7-9 and she does the later shift perhaps. Maybe (if possible) you make up for her doing the night time by being more involved than her during the day unless you are working.
Also going from 1 child to 2 is a big shock to the system. Previously one of you had to help while the other had a breather. Often you are both called for at the same time now. [Post edited 14 Apr 2020 10:51]
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:56 - Apr 14 with 1581 views | Nthsuffolkblue |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:41 - Apr 14 by davblue |
see i feel bad for saying what i did. My Mrs is the one who's looking after the kids whilst i work and the job she is doing is amazing, i lose my temper with my boy especially, (not hurting him or anything like that, i just get cross) and she's a cool as a cucumber. I'm full of admiration for her, she's doing night shifts in the week, then looking after the kids. |
Sorry - just read this.
Do you mean night shifts looking after the kids or actually outside the house? - She should be on maternity so I trust you mean the former!
If she is managing well, don't feel guilty for it. Support her as best you can. If you are at work 6 days a week you already have a lot on your plate. It is a very difficult where many families appreciate the support of friends, neighbours and family. That isn't possible right now. Don't feel guilty for being human. You are doing the right thing to recognise your feelings too. | |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:00 - Apr 14 with 1561 views | monytowbray |
The Bank Holiday was the first time I've felt a bit meh in a couple of weeks, and I've been in lockdown for 5 weeks tomorrow.
I find planning my time a few days ahead helps with normality. Even if my to-do list is literally stuff like...
- Do some work
- Do something creative
- Go for a walk
- Do some exercise
- Watch a film
- Do some reading
- Cook something
- Do nothing all day |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:06 - Apr 14 with 1542 views | davblue |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:46 - Apr 14 by Nthsuffolkblue |
Young children who are not sleeping through is always hard work regardless. In lockdown it is a different set of difficulties.
Are you working? From home? Those things will make it more difficult too.
Is your partner well? Might she have Post Natal Depression? Are you getting the right level of support from health visitors? It is usually less with the second one as you know a lot more than you did the first time.
Don't be afraid to seek help. There will be someone from the health visiting team you should be able to get hold of. If not, contact your GP and talk to them.
EDIT: Don't feel guilty for wanting time to do things for yourself either. If your partner is well, can you take it in turns to give each other a bit of space. Have a rota where you deal with the children from 7-9 and she does the later shift perhaps. Maybe (if possible) you make up for her doing the night time by being more involved than her during the day unless you are working.
Also going from 1 child to 2 is a big shock to the system. Previously one of you had to help while the other had a breather. Often you are both called for at the same time now. [Post edited 14 Apr 2020 10:51]
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I am working from home and have a job thankfully. My partner is fine, she's doing really well.
Just so it's clear im not depressed or anything like that (not that there's anything wrong with that) mentally im ok, i've just found it a struggle the last few days, boredom, being restricted and the kids, it's just very intense at home atm. Our boy has taken to being an older brother brilliantly and his behaviour is fine. Im the problem, im getting short with him asking loads of questions all of the time and tiredness kicking in.
I guess im frustrated/ bored/ tired more than anything and that's on me more than the family. | | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:08 - Apr 14 with 1531 views | giant_stow |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:06 - Apr 14 by davblue |
I am working from home and have a job thankfully. My partner is fine, she's doing really well.
Just so it's clear im not depressed or anything like that (not that there's anything wrong with that) mentally im ok, i've just found it a struggle the last few days, boredom, being restricted and the kids, it's just very intense at home atm. Our boy has taken to being an older brother brilliantly and his behaviour is fine. Im the problem, im getting short with him asking loads of questions all of the time and tiredness kicking in.
I guess im frustrated/ bored/ tired more than anything and that's on me more than the family. |
Let yourself off a bit mr. It's ok to be bored and frustrated right now - we've all got eveyr reason to feel that way. | |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:08 - Apr 14 with 1535 views | gazzer1999 |
I live 2 doors away from a young couple with 2 children, and all I can say is what a great dad they have. He has spent hours on end outside with the children playing with them constantly, building structures in the garden, playing football, paddling pool out, yes the garden looks untidy but boy they all look to be having great fun.
I think people need to be imaginative with their children especially if they have a garden its endless what can be achieved, you may find you actually like it, and get to know their children better. Its about continuing structure for them and being imaginative, you need to stay positive.
I know its not possible for those that still have to work, but they are not the ones that are bored. |  | | |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:16 - Apr 14 with 1504 views | Nthsuffolkblue |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 11:08 - Apr 14 by gazzer1999 |
I live 2 doors away from a young couple with 2 children, and all I can say is what a great dad they have. He has spent hours on end outside with the children playing with them constantly, building structures in the garden, playing football, paddling pool out, yes the garden looks untidy but boy they all look to be having great fun.
I think people need to be imaginative with their children especially if they have a garden its endless what can be achieved, you may find you actually like it, and get to know their children better. Its about continuing structure for them and being imaginative, you need to stay positive.
I know its not possible for those that still have to work, but they are not the ones that are bored. |
That is great but not so easy for someone who is still working 6 days a week.
I am sure the OP would love to be doing all that but I don't expect him to be able to. If he can manage a few hours doing that spread through the week (maybe 30 min a couple of evenings and an hour or two on a Sunday) he has done very well in my book. That could range from anything like doing the LEGO with him, to kicking a football or just chucking a tennis ball to each other to reading a book to him or listening to him read.
All of us have different situations and whilst I know you meant this as an admiration of said neighbour, should never feel guilty for not managing to be them ourselves. | |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 12:37 - Apr 14 with 1431 views | BlueBadger |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 09:13 - Apr 14 by bluelagos |
At the risk of a Twtd stazi meltdown, get outside as much as you can. Shopping, walk the long way, use your exercise too. Take the family if you can too.
The moaners will tell you are irresponsible, but you know what, if you socially distancing then let them worry. Your mental health is important, as is your family's wellbeing. If you can findma quite spot, some mindful meditation works a treat too.
In a nutshell, do what is right for you, in a sensible CV responsible manner and dont let the hysterical response of others stop you. |
As a healthcare professional, I endorse this message. As I've said a few times now, it won't be workload, isolation or day-off boredom that sends me into an axe-murdering rage, it'll be f*cking curtain twitchers. |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 13:19 - Apr 14 with 1376 views | NewcyBlue |
It’s ok to struggle mate.
It’s awful when they barely sleep isn’t it? Feels like constant battles. You think you’ve found something that works and the next night it doesn’t.
I’m glad the 4 year old has taken to being a big brother. The constant questions can be annoying, but I try to remember that their comprehension of the whole situation is completely different to ours.
After all this is said and done, treat your wife to a date. Romantic meal. Movie. Theatre. Whatever. Show her how much you’ve appreciated the help.
Ask your 4 year old what he most wants to do after the lockdown is fully over.
The good times will return.
Keep on keeping on mate. You’re doing well, and we are all here for you. |  |
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| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 14:58 - Apr 14 with 1294 views | jontysnut |
| Is anyone else struggling with Isolation at the moment? on 10:16 - Apr 14 by Mookamoo |
Sleep is an issue for an awful lot of people at the moment. A lot of that course will be mindfulness techniques which you try to research yourself (small children don't help I know). And advising on zero stimulants such as tea/coffee.
Also progressive muscle relaxation before you go to bed. |
I thought the bottom line said ' progressive music relaxation' for a minute. Yes, a bit of Gentle Giant or Camel before bed!
There is a bit of 'put your own mask on first' - you can only do your best for your family if you're ok within yourself
And no, that's not a lyric from Yes |  | | |
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