By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions. We in turn value your personal details in accordance with our Privacy Policy.
Please log in or register. Registered visitors get fewer ads.
I see the rise of Tate and Peterson and the impact they are having on young men and what masculinity looks like and it scares me, this is before I even watch adolescence.
One of the things that I'm conscious of is that there are very few male role models who counter the things that they say and fewer still that will appeal to young lads of today, Louis Threoux for example, a great advocate but how many 14, 15 year old lads know who is he is, let alone listen to him?
I think about who I looked up to as a teenager and who current teenagers might listen too and I keep comming back to footballers.
I see very little on this from clubs, filled with male role models and I feel that they would be a great staring point for trying to redress some of the bile that is spewed by such people.
This might sound pie in the sky but I think there had ro be a beginning, and I think with our club, the community and the work that goes into that, it would seem as good a place as any. Maybe I'm old and out of touch (well i am) but if I was a teenage lad and Liam Delap, Omari or someone was on socials and other places speaking about how wrong this view is id take notice.
I'm inclined to email the club and ask them if they can do some messaging around the subject, partner with suitable charities and maybe from there more would follow.
Anyone have any idea who is best to email?
I appreciate I might be on a wild goose chase here but from those I know in teaching or similar roles working with young lads I really feel that is becoming more and more or anything issue with not enough push back on the narrative from those that might be listened to.
Any suggestions as to anyone I can try contacting at the club are much appreciated.
As a kid the only people you should look up to (if lucky enough to have them around) are older family members, dads, grandads, uncles… that’s just my opinion of course.
And no offence, I’ve listened to Delap and Omari speak, there’s not much going on upstairs there. Certainly not enough to grip hold of young lads who are possibly going down the wrong path.
As a kid the only people you should look up to (if lucky enough to have them around) are older family members, dads, grandads, uncles… that’s just my opinion of course.
And no offence, I’ve listened to Delap and Omari speak, there’s not much going on upstairs there. Certainly not enough to grip hold of young lads who are possibly going down the wrong path.
Good grief. That approach would lead to a very limited world view. There’s no end of people who’ve been inspired by people they don’t know. From sports people, scientists, adventurers, teachers (very often teachers; it’s probably the most common source of inspiration you hear about). People who might not have much going on upstairs can sometimes make exceptional role models (think reformed gang members or drug addicts who turn to youth engagement work). People need models they can relate to.
Good grief. That approach would lead to a very limited world view. There’s no end of people who’ve been inspired by people they don’t know. From sports people, scientists, adventurers, teachers (very often teachers; it’s probably the most common source of inspiration you hear about). People who might not have much going on upstairs can sometimes make exceptional role models (think reformed gang members or drug addicts who turn to youth engagement work). People need models they can relate to.
Delap went to my nephews school the other day, could barely put a sentence together. Not sure who can relate to that.
Delap went to my nephews school the other day, could barely put a sentence together. Not sure who can relate to that.
Swansea already replied to your point, I'm sure most people of my generation said the same of Beckham at Delap's age. He went on to become a worldwide inspiration to a generation. I'm pretty sure he had kids that hung off his every word.
Football has a huge audience and the more people who start sending out the right message will help, and the sooner, the better.
Your point is moot as this generation of lads are idolizing people who are clearly not the full ticket anyway! This shows these kids are not considering the mental ability of the people they look to, they see a man, who speaks the same language as them and has similar life experiences, going on to have worldwide fame and fortune. They see this and want to emulate it.
As a kid the only people you should look up to (if lucky enough to have them around) are older family members, dads, grandads, uncles… that’s just my opinion of course.
And no offence, I’ve listened to Delap and Omari speak, there’s not much going on upstairs there. Certainly not enough to grip hold of young lads who are possibly going down the wrong path.
What an incredibly narrow view of the world! And what if these family members are bad influences? Surely it would be good to counter their views with more positive ones? Otherwise the problems will just perpetuate over and over - a cycle that needs to be broken.
What an incredibly narrow view of the world! And what if these family members are bad influences? Surely it would be good to counter their views with more positive ones? Otherwise the problems will just perpetuate over and over - a cycle that needs to be broken.
Of all the things I have on my list that could/might offend TWTD posters, saying family members should be kids role models wasn’t one of them, yet here we are and it’s only 0805
Think it's a good idea and certainly can't hurt. Personally I can't say I've ever paid that much attention to what footballers say, although I thought Rashford did some great work around child poverty a few years back and that seeped through into the public consciousness which can only be a good thing. Incels are usually rubbish at sport though so not sure how much attention they'd pay to footballers, you'd need to get some gamers if YouTubers onside but a lot of them make money from at least not challenging these views or in some cases perpetuating them.
Of all the things I have on my list that could/might offend TWTD posters, saying family members should be kids role models wasn’t one of them, yet here we are and it’s only 0805
Conveniently you missed out the word 'only' in your reply, which makes all the difference.
As a kid the only people you should look up to (if lucky enough to have them around) are older family members, dads, grandads, uncles… that’s just my opinion of course.
And no offence, I’ve listened to Delap and Omari speak, there’s not much going on upstairs there. Certainly not enough to grip hold of young lads who are possibly going down the wrong path.
I assume this is an April fool, what about teachers, sports coaches, non male relatives.
Limiting to just male family members surely just reinforces their views and fails to broaden their view of the world. This is not hugely different to social media algorithms which can trap teen boys in narrow worldviews, feeding them extreme views, toxic masculinity, and viral hot takes over real depth.
What they need and is often overlooked is emotional growth, diverse perspectives, and healthy role models.
Follow voices that show empathy, curiosity, and integrity, you have to teach boys to think critically, not just scroll passively. There are no simple answers, what inspires one may wash over another due to socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.
Of all the things I have on my list that could/might offend TWTD posters, saying family members should be kids role models wasn’t one of them, yet here we are and it’s only 0805
I'm not sure why you think anyone is offended by your view on this. I'm certainly not and I can't see any reply here that looks like it is. Your view is just very insular and doesn't appear to be agreed with by any other poster that's commented on the thread, so far.
Of all the things I have on my list that could/might offend TWTD posters, saying family members should be kids role models wasn’t one of them, yet here we are and it’s only 0805
Genuine question, what do you do when you don't have any?
Not just a hypothetical either; I didn't after age 11.
You can end up with sh1t ones as well, but that's a different tangent.
I'd also add it's not just male role models they need. They need to see, and ideally interact with, some real-life women. There was a good C4 documentary on a couple of years back about incels and the guy who did the documentary took one lad who was being seduced by the online culture out of his bedroom and got him to speak to some actual girls outside a bar. They were great, didn't mock him but helped him to understand why his ideology was bullsh!t and I seem to remember he ended up turning a bit of a corner. It shouldn't just be men who dictate what it means to be a good man, especially when so much problematic male behaviour is directed towards women.
I'd also add it's not just male role models they need. They need to see, and ideally interact with, some real-life women. There was a good C4 documentary on a couple of years back about incels and the guy who did the documentary took one lad who was being seduced by the online culture out of his bedroom and got him to speak to some actual girls outside a bar. They were great, didn't mock him but helped him to understand why his ideology was bullsh!t and I seem to remember he ended up turning a bit of a corner. It shouldn't just be men who dictate what it means to be a good man, especially when so much problematic male behaviour is directed towards women.
Of all the things I have on my list that could/might offend TWTD posters, saying family members should be kids role models wasn’t one of them, yet here we are and it’s only 0805
Why do you think anyone is offended.
I just read the responses to your comments as people disagreeing with you. Is 805 too early to be told you’re wrong.
Genuine question, what do you do when you don't have any?
Not just a hypothetical either; I didn't after age 11.
You can end up with sh1t ones as well, but that's a different tangent.
I'd say the way my dad acted taught me a lot about how not to treat women so if I'd treated him as a role model I'd have been pretty fooked. One of the messages from Adolescence is that even seemingly "good" parents can contribute to shaping their children's behaviour in unhealthy ways, in that instance the dad's angry outbursts which the women in the house learned to appease rather than challenge ended up being mirrored by the boy. When coupled with what he was being exposed to on social media, it meant he was prone to impulsively carrying out a horrific act.
Of all the things I have on my list that could/might offend TWTD posters, saying family members should be kids role models wasn’t one of them, yet here we are and it’s only 0805
I’ll be very surprised if your replies did actually offend anyone. I disagreed with the ‘only’ aspect of your post as well as your rather obnoxious attitude towards a couple of Ipswich’s footballers.
I really don't think it's right to lump Peterson in with the likes of Tate on this issue.
Peterson's message to young men like that is "shape up, develop yourself, be better, become someone worthy of a relationship"
I was watching some vids of an Irish academic, one of the leading experts on Incel culture, he advises the government. He's doing a lot of interview rounds at the moment given the attention this is getting. He said the same himself, in fact reckoned Peterson had changed his life for the better.
Edit - for example see this link where he discusses Adolescence
I'd also add it's not just male role models they need. They need to see, and ideally interact with, some real-life women. There was a good C4 documentary on a couple of years back about incels and the guy who did the documentary took one lad who was being seduced by the online culture out of his bedroom and got him to speak to some actual girls outside a bar. They were great, didn't mock him but helped him to understand why his ideology was bullsh!t and I seem to remember he ended up turning a bit of a corner. It shouldn't just be men who dictate what it means to be a good man, especially when so much problematic male behaviour is directed towards women.
Absolutely this. It's so easy to get bogged down with how male role models should or shouldn't be, but seeing strong, competent, successful, intelligent women who are equal to or even better than their male counterparts does so much for a young man's view of what a woman is
I’ll be very surprised if your replies did actually offend anyone. I disagreed with the ‘only’ aspect of your post as well as your rather obnoxious attitude towards a couple of Ipswich’s footballers.
I just assumed saying that the only people kids should look up to are older male family members was an April fools. It's that ridiculous!
Genuine question, what do you do when you don't have any?
Not just a hypothetical either; I didn't after age 11.
You can end up with sh1t ones as well, but that's a different tangent.
I did make sure I included ‘if lucky enough to have them’
Honestly, I’ve no idea. And I’d say as a bloody decent fella (that you come across as) you are better placed to advise how you dealt with this situation
I did make sure I included ‘if lucky enough to have them’
Honestly, I’ve no idea. And I’d say as a bloody decent fella (that you come across as) you are better placed to advise how you dealt with this situation
Ah sorry, I missed that.
I think I was just a bit lucky, I never went down any rabbit holes like this and my mum was fairly strict but fair ultimately, so I turned out alright in the end.
I dread to think what would happen if the same thing happened to me but in the modern world of social media.
Delap went to my nephews school the other day, could barely put a sentence together. Not sure who can relate to that.
Well there will be kids who may have struggled at school or with personal issues and as a result aren’t necessarily the best communicators, but who are huge football fans. They’ll relate.
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
