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1. Able-bodied people who get a lift to the first floor. Lazy barstewards. Very often fat, and this is one of the reasons why. You've also slowed down my journey to the 4th floor with your laziness.
2. Slow walkers - particularly those who are slow because they're looking down, tapping away at their phone. Can you not leave that thing alone for 5 minutes while you walk along the street? Sometimes I feel like grabbing it and throwing it on the floor.
3. Cars that are waiting to join a main road... but stick out into it a bit, forcing me to cycle round them (and potentially into traffic). Fookers. Wait until there's a gap.
4. People who send me emails saying they want to "reach out" to me. Are you drowning? If not, fook off.
5. Pedestrians. Especially the ones who can't grasp the concept of a red man. It means don't walk in the road, fookwit.
You know for number two I walk along fast WHILST on my phone. If I need to do some typing, I don’t look down at the phone for that as I can remember the keyboard.
I am not even bothering to downvote this, any doubts you had established in my mind about Dolly's point one have just dissipated and I am now in favour of capital punishment for anyone who travels just one floor in a lift unless they are in a wheelchair
and a total body plastercast
and have died and been brought back at least three times
Parents who allow their kids to run around supermarkets then give you an evil look when you have to screech to a halt to avoid hitting them with your trolley.
Parents who allow their kids to run around supermarkets then give you an evil look when you have to screech to a halt to avoid hitting them with your trolley.
You try to avoid hitting them?
Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country."
Parents who allow their kids to run around supermarkets then give you an evil look when you have to screech to a halt to avoid hitting them with your trolley.
My favourite game in that scenario is to stop suddenly as their tearing about behind me, much like when people play chicken in the supermarket, I suddenly stop to observe something on the shelf that I have no intention of buying.
Mmm, why not try that out - no, on second thoughts, insist on it - next time you're down in london on some Underground escalators ...
It’s shopping centres where it bugs me. I purposely avoid the lifts and escalators to be a bit more healthy and it’s like trying to negotiate the roundabout at the Arc de Triomphe
It’s shopping centres where it bugs me. I purposely avoid the lifts and escalators to be a bit more healthy and it’s like trying to negotiate the roundabout at the Arc de Triomphe
Anyone going to Paris on holiday and driving about needs their head examined!
Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country."
People who walk up and down stairs on the wrong side*
*we drive on the left. Is it beyond the wit of man (and woman) to negotiate the stairs likewise?
When navigating in a narrow channel or fairway you keep as far as possible to the outer limit of the channel that is on your own starboard side (right).
Good Seamanship dictates you always keep your starboard side clear.
When navigating in a narrow channel or fairway you keep as far as possible to the outer limit of the channel that is on your own starboard side (right).
Good Seamanship dictates you always keep your starboard side clear.
And your poop deck clean.
Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country."
It’s shopping centres where it bugs me. I purposely avoid the lifts and escalators to be a bit more healthy and it’s like trying to negotiate the roundabout at the Arc de Triomphe
I did that roundabout, about 20 years ago, in a lovely ITFC Blue Alfa Romeo GTV. I needn't have worried. The locals kept well out of my way, all the way round. I wasn't sure if they were nervous cos I was foreign, or were just admiring the car.
Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country."
You know for number two I walk along fast WHILST on my phone. If I need to do some typing, I don’t look down at the phone for that as I can remember the keyboard.
If him odmid TRcymmers and a a load of nolkox!
"They break our legs and tell us to be grateful when they offer us crutches."
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