Quantcast
Please log in or register. Registered visitors get fewer ads.
Forum index | Previous Thread | Next thread
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. 22:02 - Apr 9 with 4015 viewsLord_Lucan

When ordering a pizza I ask what size. The reply is always "How many slices do you get in each"

I mean - FFS!!

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
Poll: How will you be celebrating Prince Phils life today

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:06 - Apr 9 with 2629 viewsKeno

The ex-Mrs Keno always used to order "I'll have the vegetarian one, but can you add ham'

Poll: Was MarkyP's Cook Signing Poll Funny?
Blog: [Blog] My World Cup Reflections

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:09 - Apr 9 with 2608 viewsDubtractor

Mrs Dub is infinitely more educated than me, so she'd prob have the stupid sayings I use.....

I was born underwater, I dried out in the sun. I started humping volcanoes baby, when I was too young.
Poll: Best type of bacon for your breakfast butty?

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:12 - Apr 9 with 2584 viewsEpiphone

Not pizza related,but my missus,upon hearing we were playing Walsall in the FA Cup, wanted to know how long Polish sides had been playing in an English competition!
12

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:14 - Apr 9 with 2566 viewsfabian_illness

When we moved to our previous house, the field out the back was full of alpacas.
My Mrs hadn’t seen them before and asked me what they were.
I told her the were ‘long necked sheep’.
She told the whole village that we’d just moved into the house near the long necked sheep farm.
It took nearly a week before anyone told her they were alpacas.
17

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:14 - Apr 9 with 2563 viewsVic

Mrs Vic once enquirered if satellites were held up by wires!

Poll: Right now, who would you rather have as Prime Minister?

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:16 - Apr 9 with 2549 viewsbluelagos

As a student I took a girlfriend to a match on the Sheffield Kop at Bramall Lane.

Two things stick in my mind. Her observation that one of the players looked a bit small (the mascot) and then as the players warmed up she shouted "Come on Wednesday" as loud as she could.

Poll: This new lockdown poll - what you reckon?

0
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:20 - Apr 9 with 2513 viewsIP4_Blue

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:12 - Apr 9 by Epiphone

Not pizza related,but my missus,upon hearing we were playing Walsall in the FA Cup, wanted to know how long Polish sides had been playing in an English competition!


That’s hilarious 🤣
0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:20 - Apr 9 with 2512 viewsvictorywilhappen

...is it in yet? does that count?
0
Login to get fewer ads

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:22 - Apr 9 with 2504 viewsLord_Lucan

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:20 - Apr 9 by victorywilhappen

...is it in yet? does that count?


Yeah but you don't count as you have multiple wives!

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
Poll: How will you be celebrating Prince Phils life today

1
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:23 - Apr 9 with 2499 viewscressi

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:16 - Apr 9 by bluelagos

As a student I took a girlfriend to a match on the Sheffield Kop at Bramall Lane.

Two things stick in my mind. Her observation that one of the players looked a bit small (the mascot) and then as the players warmed up she shouted "Come on Wednesday" as loud as she could.


Bloke I know his told me his wife said as he was driving through Sudbury it must have being cold today as ice in the road munroes fish stall on market hill packing up Christ it was July
1
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:23 - Apr 9 with 2489 viewsvapour_trail

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:20 - Apr 9 by victorywilhappen

...is it in yet? does that count?


The pizza?

Trailing vapour since 1999.
Poll: Should Gav and Phil limiti the number of polls?

0
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:47 - Apr 9 with 2397 viewsBlueBadger

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:22 - Apr 9 by Lord_Lucan

Yeah but you don't count as you have multiple wives!


Do you know what the worst penalty in law for bigamy is?

Two mother in laws.

Ham>Lam
Poll: Who's the worst ITFC associated Mark?
Blog: From Despair to Where?

0
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:49 - Apr 9 with 2390 viewsLord_Lucan

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:47 - Apr 9 by BlueBadger

Do you know what the worst penalty in law for bigamy is?

Two mother in laws.


Joking aside - shall we say Victorywillhappen has a life story.

I do love him to bits.

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
Poll: How will you be celebrating Prince Phils life today

0
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 23:27 - Apr 9 with 2267 viewsjeera

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:49 - Apr 9 by Lord_Lucan

Joking aside - shall we say Victorywillhappen has a life story.

I do love him to bits.


In Europe now he said the other day.

Bored of the sun in Oz?

I'll ask him over the weekend if I remember.

Poll: Xmas dinner: Yorkshires or not?

0
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 23:36 - Apr 9 with 2247 viewsLord_Lucan

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 23:27 - Apr 9 by jeera

In Europe now he said the other day.

Bored of the sun in Oz?

I'll ask him over the weekend if I remember.


Estonia

I would like to elaborate on his genuine world fame but it's not my place.

“Hello, I'm your MP. Actually I'm not. I'm your candidate. Gosh.” Boris Johnson canvassing in Henley, 2005.
Poll: How will you be celebrating Prince Phils life today

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 23:45 - Apr 9 with 2215 viewsWickwar_Blue

Mrs Wickwar, upon seeing a European tie for the first time, assumed that the score being “2-2 on Aggregate” meant one team was doing really well due to the disadvantage of playing a difficult away game on concrete.
4

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 00:01 - Apr 10 with 2179 viewsfloridablue

first friends we had come over and stay with us 18 years ago were a couple from Ilford Essex, close friends of my wife. Sitting out by our pool one evening 'she' looked up to the sky and said........' Is that the same moon we can see in London?' Essex girls.. don't you just love em!!
0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 00:23 - Apr 10 with 2135 viewsEpiphone

Another on of my wife's memorable footballing gaffes was when she saw the results with the goal scorers alongside commented "Morley pen,that's a funny name!"
0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 03:07 - Apr 10 with 2041 viewstextbackup

mine calls this board "match of those days"

We’ll be good again... one day
Poll: How many home games do you get to a season

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 05:56 - Apr 10 with 2001 viewsstantheman

When I worked in up North, my wife had a part time job in a golf club bar. A chap questioned her about her very crisp Oxfordshire English accent by asking where she originated from. When she said Suffolk he asked what brought her to be in Sheffield and she replied that her husband's profession had led to the move North. "Oh what does he do?" and he was told. My wife then asked "What do you do for a job?" I am in the football industry. "Doing what?" He replied "I manage Sheffield United". It was Dave Bassett.
1

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 06:29 - Apr 10 with 1981 viewsBarneycurley

We used to go to the inlaws for dinner every mon night, I used to be on driving duties. Well the last kilometer or so hone you could take 2 ways and within a hare's breath they were the same distance. So one week I said to my wife lets go one way and remember the distance and next time go the other way to see what the ACTUAL difference was. I told her my route was quicker and slightly less distance.

So the second week comes by and we take my route home and sure enough it's about 100m shorter so we get home quicker. My wifes response "of course your way was shorter - you drove more quickly" 😱

Poll: Last nights obv lling of Evans are him and bluefish ever seen in the same room?

0

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:01 - Apr 10 with 1937 viewsgtsb1966

" I do".
3

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:32 - Apr 10 with 1892 viewsCoastalblue

Not a saying but a fairly typical happening, which when you consider my other half has two degrees and a Masters does cause you to wonder.

When we were first going out together she got a Sky deal and had it installed in her flat, but no matter what she did she never managed to get it to record stuff she wanted and would swear about them all the time. Truth is it never recorded a thing unless she sat in front of it and pressed the record button.

Some while later we were heading out for the evening and before we left I stood and watched her turn off every socket in the flat before she left.

No idea when I began here, was a very long time ago. Previously known as Spirit_of_81. Love cheese, hate the colour of it, this is why it requires some blue in it.
Poll: If someone promised you promotion next season, would you think

5

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:32 - Apr 10 with 1892 viewsWD19

Ex girlfriend of mine once got very confused about a news story of a baby being ‘still born’......she didn’t see the problem given that it was “still born, so what was the problem”.

As a vegetarian she was also deeply suspicious of mince pies.

OK, in mitigation she wasn’t English, but both of these stick in my mind.....
-1
To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:36 - Apr 10 with 1880 viewsgordon

To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 03:07 - Apr 10 by textbackup

mine calls this board "match of those days"


The correct pronounciation of TWTD by an irritated girlfriend/spouse is tw*tted.
2

Please log in or register. Registered visitors get fewer ads.
About Us Contact Us Terms & Conditions Privacy Cookies Advertising
© TWTD 1995-2021