| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. 22:02 - Apr 9 with 6502 views | Lord_Lucan |
When ordering a pizza I ask what size. The reply is always "How many slices do you get in each"
I mean - FFS!! |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:42 - Apr 10 with 2645 views | Coastalblue |
I have t include a Mother saying here actually, when my Mum discovered the joys of Facebook a few years ago she used to make most of the family cringe. The worst, and I know she's not alone in this with regards to her generation but she was convinced that LOL meant lots of love and refused to be told otherwise and 'people would know what she meant'
It finally came to the inevitable head when somebody she knew lost her husband and posted a heart rending message on Facebook. You know what my Mum's reply was. |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:09 - Apr 10 with 2581 views | NthQldITFC |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 06:29 - Apr 10 by Barneycurley |
We used to go to the inlaws for dinner every mon night, I used to be on driving duties. Well the last kilometer or so hone you could take 2 ways and within a hare's breath they were the same distance. So one week I said to my wife lets go one way and remember the distance and next time go the other way to see what the ACTUAL difference was. I told her my route was quicker and slightly less distance.
So the second week comes by and we take my route home and sure enough it's about 100m shorter so we get home quicker. My wifes response "of course your way was shorter - you drove more quickly" 😱 |
You left me wondering how many "hair's breadths" there would be in a "hare's breath".
75 microns seems to be the most quoted magnitude for the former.
Despite extensive searching, I have been unable to find a reliable quoted figure for how far a hare breathes out. Given the current fashion for 2 metres of social distancing in the human animal, and the quoted head and body length of a large hare at 75cm, against the four times longer length of a large human (2m), I will posit that a hare's breath might in fact reach 2m/4 = 0.5 metres (or 0.5 x10^6 microns).
Dividing the latter by the former, we arrive at the conclusion that there are approximately 7000 hair's breadths in a hare's breath, although I would be loathe to recommend that anybody use this as a measurement system for anything important. |  |
| # WE ARE STEALING THE FUTURE FROM OUR CHILDREN --- WE MUST CHANGE COURSE # | | Poll: | It's driving me nuts |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:15 - Apr 10 with 2566 views | MJallday |
Mrs MJ refers to someone who has been singled out as an “escape goat”
I tried to correct her but she was having none of it. So it’s stuck
[Post edited 10 Apr 2021 9:16]
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| [Redacted] on 09:25 - Apr 10 with 2547 views | victorywilhappen |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:22 - Apr 9 by Lord_Lucan |
Yeah but you don't count as you have multiple wives! |
[Redacted] |  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:27 - Apr 10 with 2549 views | WD19 |
I went to primary school with a lad who pronounced Chaos ‘chay-os’. I have done it routinely ever since for my own amusement, but I suspect there are a few people that have heard me over the years and think I am a bit simple. |  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:40 - Apr 10 with 2524 views | AlanRetentive |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:09 - Apr 10 by NthQldITFC |
You left me wondering how many "hair's breadths" there would be in a "hare's breath".
75 microns seems to be the most quoted magnitude for the former.
Despite extensive searching, I have been unable to find a reliable quoted figure for how far a hare breathes out. Given the current fashion for 2 metres of social distancing in the human animal, and the quoted head and body length of a large hare at 75cm, against the four times longer length of a large human (2m), I will posit that a hare's breath might in fact reach 2m/4 = 0.5 metres (or 0.5 x10^6 microns).
Dividing the latter by the former, we arrive at the conclusion that there are approximately 7000 hair's breadths in a hare's breath, although I would be loathe to recommend that anybody use this as a measurement system for anything important. |
What you would be in fact is loath to recommend the use of it. I loathe the misuse of the English language, and I am not loath to put people right when they misuse it, even though they may be of colonial origin. |  |
| *** Puch Maxi N Owners Club, Social Distancing Officer (SoDOff) and Undersecretary for The Verification of Vaccinations And Testing (UTVVAT) 2021 *** |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:46 - Apr 10 with 2517 views | Deano69 |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:42 - Apr 10 by Coastalblue |
I have t include a Mother saying here actually, when my Mum discovered the joys of Facebook a few years ago she used to make most of the family cringe. The worst, and I know she's not alone in this with regards to her generation but she was convinced that LOL meant lots of love and refused to be told otherwise and 'people would know what she meant'
It finally came to the inevitable head when somebody she knew lost her husband and posted a heart rending message on Facebook. You know what my Mum's reply was. |
My mother in law has the same belief
When our distraught (then) 10 year old send he Grandma a message to say her hamster had to be out down, grandmas response was LOL. |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:51 - Apr 10 with 2513 views | Deano69 |
Full scale argument escalated with mine many years ago who insisted a tonne of feathers would be lighter than a tonne of sand. Feathers are miles lighter apparently. | |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:34 - Apr 12 with 2404 views | Lesta_Tractor |
My wife has made a chili con carne using 'chipolata flakes' |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:43 - Apr 12 with 2380 views | brazil1982 |
Not a saying as such but was starting to watch Escape from Alcatraz with the ex-wife, and she asked "What's it about then?" |  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:46 - Apr 12 with 2377 views | The_Flashing_Smile |
I told Lady Dollers that the breaking news was Prince Philip had died. She replied, "Oh, what happened?" |  |
| Trust the process. Trust Phil. |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:47 - Apr 12 with 2376 views | Swansea_Blue |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:34 - Apr 12 by Lesta_Tractor |
My wife has made a chili con carne using 'chipolata flakes' |
Don't start on food. Just as we sat down for dinner on Saturday, mine disclosed that she was only missing a couple of items from her attempt at a sweet potato Thai curry. She didn't have any spices or lemon grass, but didn't think it would matter as they can't be that important.
So we had sweet potato in coconut milk soup. Lovely  |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:50 - Apr 12 with 2352 views | GlasgowBlue |
I was listening to BBC Suffolk after the game on Saturday and somebody mentioned Paul Lambert. To which my wife asked "Paul Lambert? Isn't he the bloke who sings with Queen"? |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:54 - Apr 12 with 2341 views | MattinLondon |
‘Unlike you I can actually multitask’.
Then promptly doing three things at the same time and not finishing any of the three jobs. |  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 18:08 - Apr 12 with 2321 views | HARRY10 |
Not a wife, but a 'laydee' Radio 4 announcer
"And the time is now 12 O'Clock Greenwich......
................. meantime, here is the news " | | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 18:36 - Apr 12 with 2298 views | jeera |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:15 - Apr 10 by MJallday |
Mrs MJ refers to someone who has been singled out as an “escape goat”
I tried to correct her but she was having none of it. So it’s stuck
[Post edited 10 Apr 2021 9:16]
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I once had a girlfriend who would always mix up regular phrases, saying things such as, "Wouldn't say boo to a ghost".
It didn't matter how many times I tried to go through it with her.
In the end I left her. |  |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 19:02 - Apr 12 with 2270 views | MattinLondon |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 18:36 - Apr 12 by jeera |
I once had a girlfriend who would always mix up regular phrases, saying things such as, "Wouldn't say boo to a ghost".
It didn't matter how many times I tried to go through it with her.
In the end I left her. |
Sounds like you did the right thing.
After her, were there more dishes in the sea? | | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 19:10 - Apr 12 with 2261 views | jeera |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 19:02 - Apr 12 by MattinLondon |
Sounds like you did the right thing.
After her, were there more dishes in the sea? |
A few, although one or two turned out to be a dull as dishwater. | |
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| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:37 - Apr 12 with 2174 views | theinbetweener |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 22:14 - Apr 9 by fabian_illness |
When we moved to our previous house, the field out the back was full of alpacas.
My Mrs hadn’t seen them before and asked me what they were.
I told her the were ‘long necked sheep’.
She told the whole village that we’d just moved into the house near the long necked sheep farm.
It took nearly a week before anyone told her they were alpacas. |
This one for me wins the internet today 😂😠|  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 14:41 - Apr 13 with 2079 views | Crawfordsboot |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:09 - Apr 10 by NthQldITFC |
You left me wondering how many "hair's breadths" there would be in a "hare's breath".
75 microns seems to be the most quoted magnitude for the former.
Despite extensive searching, I have been unable to find a reliable quoted figure for how far a hare breathes out. Given the current fashion for 2 metres of social distancing in the human animal, and the quoted head and body length of a large hare at 75cm, against the four times longer length of a large human (2m), I will posit that a hare's breath might in fact reach 2m/4 = 0.5 metres (or 0.5 x10^6 microns).
Dividing the latter by the former, we arrive at the conclusion that there are approximately 7000 hair's breadths in a hare's breath, although I would be loathe to recommend that anybody use this as a measurement system for anything important. |
The correct answer is balls and balls and more balls. And that goes for the rest of the answer. |  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 14:49 - Apr 13 with 2069 views | HARRY10 |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 18:36 - Apr 12 by jeera |
I once had a girlfriend who would always mix up regular phrases, saying things such as, "Wouldn't say boo to a ghost".
It didn't matter how many times I tried to go through it with her.
In the end I left her. |
rather like the comedian Dave Allen
who when attending a funeral as a child thought the priest at the graveside said, when the coffin was being lowered into the grave
"in the name of the father, the son and in the hole he goes " | | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 16:07 - Apr 13 with 2036 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 09:40 - Apr 10 by AlanRetentive |
What you would be in fact is loath to recommend the use of it. I loathe the misuse of the English language, and I am not loath to put people right when they misuse it, even though they may be of colonial origin. |
I partly sympathise with your dislike of people's misuse of the English language. The difficulty is that the English language evolves over time, and people may use archaisms unwittingly.
For example, it's possible that not everyone who uses the phrase "of colonial origin" is an attention seeker, who tries to mask their own inadequacies through race baiting. It's possible that some just don't get out very much, and still use the version of the English language that they used to read in "The Empire Book for Boys" as a small and impressionable child. | | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 16:09 - Apr 13 with 2034 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 17:50 - Apr 12 by GlasgowBlue |
I was listening to BBC Suffolk after the game on Saturday and somebody mentioned Paul Lambert. To which my wife asked "Paul Lambert? Isn't he the bloke who sings with Queen"? |
"Under Pressure? I've played at the biggest stadiums..." | | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 16:50 - Apr 13 with 1994 views | JohnWarksTash |
My gf refers to things being " as white as a sheep"...... |  | | |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 16:51 - Apr 13 with 1992 views | Cotty |
| To lighten up the mood - Stupid wife sayings. on 07:32 - Apr 10 by WD19 |
Ex girlfriend of mine once got very confused about a news story of a baby being ‘still born’......she didn’t see the problem given that it was “still born, so what was the problem”.
As a vegetarian she was also deeply suspicious of mince pies.
OK, in mitigation she wasn’t English, but both of these stick in my mind..... |
Mince pies have animal fat in them. So yeah, she's got a point.
They actually used to have proper lumps of meat in them |  | | |
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