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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly 03:18 - Feb 3 with 2952 viewsKilburnBlue

When I first joined TWTD many years ago, it took me some courage to do so. it was the first forum I ever joined. For many years I just observed from a far due to being dyslexic but I wanted to post stuff. So I went for it. It still takes me half hour to write a simple post. I constantly read and re-edit it repeatedly. I’ve always been slow, struggle to take things on board especially when it comes to reading. But you know what TWTD helped me with that. Yeah sure im pulled up constantly on stuff but I learnt more about grammar on here then I did in school.

So now for the hard bit. Not sure where it went wrong for me on TWTD. I used to come on here and started to feel low because I didn’t agree with a lot what was being said. Not being able to debate an argument does not help so I didn’t say anything. Instead I started to feel low & felt there was something wrong with me. Yes I know I should have stayed on the football forum but couldn’t help myself gravitating towards the general tab. It was obvious I was very much against the grain & the beliefs of the many on here. So I stopped coming on here for a while as I felt in a darker place whenever I did. Which hurt quite a bit. I’ve always enjoyed it on here. It was my home page for well over a decade. Call me insensitive, stupid, pathetic, weird. It was how I felt. I Losed my love for ITFC which has been my passion my whole life & lost my zest for life because of it. It sounds stupid when I say it aloud.

Somewhere down the line I turned to drink and in November I woke up in hospital. Long story but embarrassingly was found in a ponds edge at Hampstead Heath in the early hours one cold morning. Apparently if a jogger hadn’t found me I may not be here. As I said embarrassing.

In my attempt to give up the drink and at my partners request she told me to turn to music (Mainly hip hop/rap for my sins) as that was a happy place for me once. That’s how I found Tom Macdonald. His song “Best Rapper Ever” saved me from turning back to drink. The song is about Addiction & I listen to it everyday as it lifts me. When I want a drink I listen to it. It’s helped me massively so far & it’s probably why I feel strongly about defending him.

Im fully aware now it wasn’t the wisest decision putting his song on here. My intent was to show black content creators/bloggers from all different backgrounds who experienced racism in real life breaking down the song & letting people know they interpretation of it. Instead i got it into my head that people on a football forum knew better then they did. As I said handled it badly.

I’m one of these people who would never change someones beliefs. Only they themselves can do that. I hate the name calling or treating people poorly when they don’t agree with those beliefs. Some people are mentally weak like myself & take things to heart. Just my thoughts.

I know people have told me to come off you tube, but for me that is my happy place. It honestly is. Sadly it seems that TWTD is my bad place. So sadly after 22 years (got my first pc in 1999)this is my last post.

It’s took me over five hours to write this so If you got to the end, thank you I’m truly humbled. Not sure why I wanted to write this. It seems weird. But needed to do it for myself. Anyway apologies again to all I insulted, especially leitrimblue

Much love to all & take care.
[Post edited 3 Feb 2021 3:21]

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 03:34 - Feb 3 with 2488 viewsIllinoisblue

Didn’t see what happened the other day but best wishes and good luck to you.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 03:50 - Feb 3 with 2471 viewsThe_Romford_Blue

No idea what happened the other day but good luck with everything.

Think that post was very brave of you. All the best

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 06:12 - Feb 3 with 2357 viewssuffolkpoker

Strength comes in many forms.

Stay strong and nice post :)

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 06:26 - Feb 3 with 2335 viewsbluelagos

Took some balls to post that, not least being so open about your personal situation.

Reading what you said and catching up on the thread, I think time outside trying to connect with nature would do you the power of good. Getting outside, as often as you can is far frrom easy when the govt is running messages to the opposite, but you'll get huge benefits.

Anyhow, good luck getting your head strsight and dealing with your struggles.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 06:55 - Feb 3 with 2260 viewsm14_blue

Good post KB and best of luck with everything.
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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 06:55 - Feb 3 with 2264 viewsChurchman

Thank you for your post.

I will say just one thing: your post suggests you are anything but mentally weak.

People come onto this site for all sorts of reasons and you are not alone in hating the name calling and abuse people get for not holding the ‘right’ views. I have probably spent too long on here myself in recent months, but for me it’s been a good distraction from lockdown etc. It is what it is when it comes down to it - just a place to share views. I suspect the general stuff would be a lot less than it is if the football club was in better shape.

Good luck to you.
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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 07:05 - Feb 3 with 2235 viewsKeno

that took some courage to post

I didn't see what happened, and to be honest its past.

stay well mate

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 07:29 - Feb 3 with 2152 views26_Paz

All the best mate.

The Paz Man

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 08:45 - Feb 3 with 1931 viewsPJH

I think it is very brave of you to make a post like that and, like others, I wish you the best.

Only you will know if this really is to be your last venture into posting on TWTD but if it is then maybe opening your heart like this has done you a little bit of good.

Love the avatar of three of the great men of ITFC's proud history.
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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 09:01 - Feb 3 with 1874 viewsipswich78

As many have said that was a very brave post. Many people can hide behind an online persona so it's quite a statement from yourself to be so open.

You state 'stupid, pathetic, weird' - we're all weird in our own little way. I have always hated the word 'normal' in my personal opinion there's no such thing and labels like that can damage people especially children.

Unfortunately the internet can be a very toxic place, forums and social media can be the worse. But conversely posts and comments can be easily misinterpreted by a simple misuse of a word, or even how you feel at the time you read it.

You're clearly on an upward road so keep it going, and think about coming back when the time is right. TWTD can be divisive (what forum isn't?) but in the most part it's a cracking community.
[Post edited 3 Feb 2021 9:01]

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 09:06 - Feb 3 with 1844 viewsMetal_Hacker

Didn't see what happened but yeah , massive respect fella

Brave brave post and well done !!!

Look after yourself

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 09:07 - Feb 3 with 1849 viewsSteve_M

Shame you feel it best to leave as, from memory, your posting history has been mainly historical football stuff. FWIW, It's been pretty difficult to comment much on football over the last three years because it's been so crap, the same points get repeated dozens of times per day - it's not very interesting away from matches.

As for the post the other day, it seemed a bit provocative but the reasons you posted it make a bit more sense now. I think had you posted some of this post with the song the reaction you got would have been different and that thread would have been much better.

Anyway, best wishes to you. Keep doing what works for you to keep yourself in a good place and, if you feel like coming back on here, I don't think anyone is going to hold one bad day against you.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 09:29 - Feb 3 with 1771 viewsDarth_Koont

Good luck mate. As others have said brave of you and very positive to share your troubles on here. I think that openness and honesty will stand you in good stead.

The disagreement over the rap video is minor stuff in comparison. You weren’t expressing a particularly extreme view. In fact, it’s a very common view even if I happen to disagree with it.

Keep posting and keep us updated about how things are going.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 10:19 - Feb 3 with 1635 viewsLeighOnSeaBlue

I rarely post on here either. I am glad you're off the booze, as I lost my brother to the demon drink 3 years ago.

One of the hardest things was to watch him go through addiction and despite all of us trying to help him, there wasn't anything more we could do.

I wish you well and it sounds like you're heading in the right direction fella
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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 10:32 - Feb 3 with 1589 viewshype313

All the best mate, stay strong and keep off the booze.

Oh, and get some Pete Rock and CL Smooth in your life

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 10:48 - Feb 3 with 1531 viewsArnoldMoorhen

I'm mainly replying so that when you take a glance at some point in the day, as you probably will, you will find your post near the top of the board and see just how many people have upvoted you and written kind replies.

I've had sh!tty days on here, too, in the past. I changed my username completely after one big bust up so it could cool down and I could start again. I've changed to this one because I couldn't remember my password and TWTD was linked to an old email address. It's good not to have the baggage of past arguments, though.

So, maybe come back with a new name? And, if it helps, stick to football posts. Politics has become so toxic and polarised in recent years. It has been the deliberate strategy of some, in this country and abroad, to create a highly motivated base who hate the opposition.

Your determination to overcome your issues with alcohol demonstrates your strength of character. And your partner has chosen to stick around and help you with that, which puts her in the "amazing woman" category.

You've earned a huge amount of respect with this post. So I hope you know that people will look out for you and encourage others to be kinder in future, if you decide to return, or that you are happy with your partner and new interests, if you don't.
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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 10:49 - Feb 3 with 1528 viewsWallingford_Boy

Great post.

As you say, if you believe in something then stick with that belief, especially if it makes you happy and keeps you away from bad places.

This is a forum which attracts extreme views, people can be blunter and not as friendly as they would be in "real life" (I should know that more than anyone!)

But don't take it personally, you are obviously intelligent and share something we all do on this website, a love for Ipswich Town FC.

So stay, join in when you want to, or just keep enjoying reading the crazy debates!

Stay safe.

RIP Sir Bobby

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:07 - Feb 3 with 1474 viewsusm

Great post, Kilburn and good luck.

Its tough on here sometimes, especially if your opinion differs to others, bit it is also a good place a lot of the time.

At least we all have one thing in common - we all know that Parallel Lines is the best album ever.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:14 - Feb 3 with 1439 viewsSwailsey

I didn't see what happened the other day, but I too considered leaving TWTD, but found that it did a lot of good for me too - although I did have to change the way I posted.

I hope you reconsider, but if not, I'm sure the door is always open.

Thank you for being honest and take care.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:21 - Feb 3 with 1422 viewsNthsuffolkblue

A great, well-thought through post.

It is a shame you feel you cannot express your views. Sometimes the arguments on here (online generally) become far too entrenched for a lot of reasons.

The video you shared was controversial and people picked up on a number of aspects for various reasons. It is healthy that people with different views should be able to air them and discuss them. However, it should also be recognised that there are good reasons why some views promote a strong reaction.

One tip I would give is be prepared to leave an argument even though you might feel your point has not been properly heard. If you made it as clearly as you can and someone is still arguing either they cannot understand it or will continue to refuse to listen. This is an aim of mine, to stop repeating the same point to the same posters over and over again. It doesn't mean I won't make the same point when it comes up on another thread but it is when it becomes a "yes" "no" repeated argument that descends into abuse, that there is no point. EDIT: You also have to learn to avoid rising to the bait of the inevitable goad "I see you cannot answer my point" or similar that the self-righteous will give when you say there is no point in continuing further.

Please reconsider about not posting. The board is a healthier place when a variety of views are expressed.
[Post edited 3 Feb 2021 11:43]

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:21 - Feb 3 with 1419 viewsBloomBlue

Great post but no need to apologies, We live in a world of extremes and divided into sides with different opinions and both sides will belittle the other side, even those who claim to be tolerant aren't on the internet. Stick to your beliefs
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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:25 - Feb 3 with 1404 viewsNthsuffolkblue

First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:07 - Feb 3 by usm

Great post, Kilburn and good luck.

Its tough on here sometimes, especially if your opinion differs to others, bit it is also a good place a lot of the time.

At least we all have one thing in common - we all know that Parallel Lines is the best album ever.


The irony is, I doubt there are any two posters on here whose views are the same on everything.

There is a big issue with the way in which debate is conducted at times.

I still maintain the debate itself is healthy. It should help to shape and inform our views and make us think about what we believe and why. That is always a good thing.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:27 - Feb 3 with 1392 viewsNthsuffolkblue

First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:21 - Feb 3 by BloomBlue

Great post but no need to apologies, We live in a world of extremes and divided into sides with different opinions and both sides will belittle the other side, even those who claim to be tolerant aren't on the internet. Stick to your beliefs


I would upvote this apart from the last line.

We should always be open to changing our views on the balance of considered reasoning. My beliefs have certainly changed over time and I would hate to think where I would be if they did not.

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:31 - Feb 3 with 1376 viewsmonytowbray

Relatable content. Good work.

Over a year booze free now and it saves a lot of problems of my own making.

I missed the OP but yeah, I know the artist and he deffo missed the mark in terms of point/context with that White Boy song.

It happens, Minor Threat have a song called “Guilty of Being White” which really misses the mark.
[Post edited 3 Feb 2021 11:37]

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First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:33 - Feb 3 with 1370 viewsBloomBlue

First of all apologises for the way I acted the other day. I handed it badly on 11:31 - Feb 3 by monytowbray

Relatable content. Good work.

Over a year booze free now and it saves a lot of problems of my own making.

I missed the OP but yeah, I know the artist and he deffo missed the mark in terms of point/context with that White Boy song.

It happens, Minor Threat have a song called “Guilty of Being White” which really misses the mark.
[Post edited 3 Feb 2021 11:37]


What broke the cycle for you?

If you don't mind me asking?
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