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This should lighten the mood and make us forget about relegation woes. I’ve always had the age of 75 as a good target to aim for. And that any years beyond that would be a bonus. But I’m 52 now and 75 seems too close for comfort. So have revised target up to 80. Dad went early at 66 but mum is solid and healthy still, and her mum lasted until 92 so hopefully got those genes.
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 16:40 - Feb 5 by Churchman
My parents lived long lives into their 90s though their quality of life was poor in later years.
However, they looked after themselves far better than I have so my expectations are somewhat less! But that’s ok. I am conscious of enjoying the now, try to appreciate life. I see it as not what I can’t do (I’m in my 60s) but what I can.
For example, despite being physically ok, this year was my last ski holiday after 32 trips to Europe, US and Canada. It was something that I was passable at, but given how lucky I’ve been with injuries and what my capabilities are now, I’ve called time. That’s fine, I shall do something else. And that’s how I see everything. Work? Retired. I didn’t have to, I chose to. Having a choice in things in what I do next is something I prize and is key to me.
Death itself? I’ve seen it and come close to it so no, I’m not afraid of it beyond a certain minimal percentage. Nor do I think on it much. I’ve been fortunate to live a long and mostly good life so if it ends tomorrow, fair enough. My true dread is infirmity and immobility, physical and or mental. I’d rather leave the stage than go through that.
Planing to retire next year, at the age of 60. Hopefully I'll get at least 15 years of heathy retirement before dementia kicks in and they cart me off to a nursing home.
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 19:22 - Feb 5 by Ryorry
It's just the *manner* of it isn't it ...
Quickly & without too much pain - no problem - in fact I think of it as the Last Great Adventure. Nobody fully knows what happens next.
Having said that, I hope there's no afterlife unless there's reincarnation, cos I defo wouldn't want to spend an eternity alongside my Mum nagging me!
Opt me out of reincarnation.
I once watched something on Youtube which said we were all one and we would keep coming back until we had lived the life of everyone who has ever existed.
Obviously I don't believe that but it has stayed with me as my new definition of hell.
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 16:24 - Feb 5 by J2BLUE
Not really. I think more about my nan and my parents.
On a related note I do think about getting older and sometimes at work I sit there in my office and think this is absurd. There must be more to life than sitting here doing this. Then I always wonder what a caveman would think of the concept of customer service and wonder how the human race got to this point and what would be the worst thing that happened if I just closed my laptop and walked away.
[Post edited 5 Feb 20:27]
I think about this a lot. It’s actually quite ludicrous that we go into education from 5, then work our whole lives to retire at, what, 65 on average? To maybe get 15 years of retirement if we’re lucky. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. Year after year after year. Working to survive and if we’re lucky fund that summer holiday. It’s ludicrous when you step back and think about it. We’re here once, this ain’t no trial run.
I’m really bad at letting work stress get to me and taking it home with me. My wife said to me the other day that in 10 years time the only people who will remember that I worked late are my kids. Not my boss or my colleagues. I know it’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but I struggle to remember that and peer pressure / imposter syndrome has always been a thing for me I think. Financially, like most I have to earn as well what with a mortgage, bills, young family to provide for, so I’m somewhat trapped in the system like a lot of people. I’m sure it’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness but true financial freedom must be so liberating.
There must be a better way, maybe it’s just a different job / career I need and something with a bit more purpose. There’s got to be a better way.
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 20:31 - Feb 5 with 1674 views
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 20:22 - Feb 5 by _clive_baker_
I think about this a lot. It’s actually quite ludicrous that we go into education from 5, then work our whole lives to retire at, what, 65 on average? To maybe get 15 years of retirement if we’re lucky. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. Year after year after year. Working to survive and if we’re lucky fund that summer holiday. It’s ludicrous when you step back and think about it. We’re here once, this ain’t no trial run.
I’m really bad at letting work stress get to me and taking it home with me. My wife said to me the other day that in 10 years time the only people who will remember that I worked late are my kids. Not my boss or my colleagues. I know it’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but I struggle to remember that and peer pressure / imposter syndrome has always been a thing for me I think. Financially, like most I have to earn as well what with a mortgage, bills, young family to provide for, so I’m somewhat trapped in the system like a lot of people. I’m sure it’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness but true financial freedom must be so liberating.
There must be a better way, maybe it’s just a different job / career I need and something with a bit more purpose. There’s got to be a better way.
'In 10 years time the only people who will remember I worked late are my kids'.
Side note, that's a top quote and one that will stick by me in future. I don't know why but that had a genuine impact on me, like a heart drop!
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 20:22 - Feb 5 by _clive_baker_
I think about this a lot. It’s actually quite ludicrous that we go into education from 5, then work our whole lives to retire at, what, 65 on average? To maybe get 15 years of retirement if we’re lucky. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. Year after year after year. Working to survive and if we’re lucky fund that summer holiday. It’s ludicrous when you step back and think about it. We’re here once, this ain’t no trial run.
I’m really bad at letting work stress get to me and taking it home with me. My wife said to me the other day that in 10 years time the only people who will remember that I worked late are my kids. Not my boss or my colleagues. I know it’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but I struggle to remember that and peer pressure / imposter syndrome has always been a thing for me I think. Financially, like most I have to earn as well what with a mortgage, bills, young family to provide for, so I’m somewhat trapped in the system like a lot of people. I’m sure it’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness but true financial freedom must be so liberating.
There must be a better way, maybe it’s just a different job / career I need and something with a bit more purpose. There’s got to be a better way.
Life’s the wrong way round. We should have our retirements and pensions when we’re younger and stronger and then work when we’re knackered and most of our friends have died.
Bloody hell, what a cheery thread!
I’ve not come to terms with whole limited time thing. Not even close. Not that it’s making me make the most of every day though unfortunately, as I’m a massive procrastinator. And then that just depresses me that I’m not making the most of it. Pass the bottle!
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 20:31 - Feb 5 by TresBonne
'In 10 years time the only people who will remember I worked late are my kids'.
Side note, that's a top quote and one that will stick by me in future. I don't know why but that had a genuine impact on me, like a heart drop!
This is a lovely and profound song about this. Sadly, Harry Chapin himself died at the age of 38 in a car crash, so never got to see his son grow up.
"Cat's in the Cradle" is narrated by a man who becomes a father in the first stanza. He is repeatedly too busy with his work to spend time with his son, despite his son looking up to him and promising he will grow up to be just like him. When the son graduates from college, he declines his father's offer to relax with him and instead asks for the car keys. In the final stanza, the now-retired father calls his adult son and asks to spend some time together, but the son is now too busy with his own work and family to spend time with his dad, and the father realizes his son has indeed grown up to be just like him.
[Post edited 5 Feb 20:55]
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 21:34 - Feb 5 with 1536 views
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 16:28 - Feb 5 by OldFart71
Must admit I often think of the time I have left. You say the age of 75 is your target. I am 75 this year so my target is a bit higher. Obviously I have seen many former work colleagues some younger, some older die. One particular fella I hadn't seen for a couple of weeks so I enquired where he was. Was told he was away ill. Turned out he had a brain tumour and had died at 61 just a week or so later. He used to tell me about how good his pension would be when he retired. Any really lovely chap I worked with got motor neurone disease and died at 56 years of age. As for myself my overall health has deteriorated since a bit. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2019 and went of a watch and wait program where they check your PSA every 6 months, late in 2023 it was deemed necessary to have treatment so I had 5 weeks of radiotherapy which was successful but I do believe the treatment had profound effects on myself as i have muscle wastage, stomach issues and shortage of breath. I cannot say the ages at which my parents died or what of as i was fostered at 11 months old. Then adopted at 13. The people who took me on, Mum and Dad died aged 50 and 86. Both sadly missed and whatever age I live to I will be eternally grateful to them both.
I'm 75 this year too. After the age of 70 I always say you are "swimming with sharks". I'm currently in remission after three years therapy for melanoma. (15 years ago I'd have survived 6 weeks from diagnosis. Technically I have been 8 seconds or closer from death over 500 times (Skydiving) but I don't think about it. When you die you feel as much as you felt before you were born - nothing. My premise now - is to ensure I keep as good relations with everyone as possible so that I don't go leaving anyone angry, disappointed etc. My wife nearly died last year and I am far more frightened of losing her than of my own demise. Live in the moment - be grateful for everything - especially a win at Aston Villa.
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:10 - Feb 5 with 1500 views
I had bowel cancer 5 years ago in my early thirties. It was quite serious - lots of rounds of chemo before and after a big op. But NHS was brilliant and I had my 5 year scan last year and all clear.
Inevitably it made me think a lot about death (and I was an overthinker anyway so didn't need encouragement!). In the end, the way I dealt with it was to just concentrate on the day ahead. It also really underlined that the small things are the best things. It sounds mad but I remember a whole day where I was just really appreciative of walking outside and looking at trees!
It's easy to lose that clarity though. Sometimes I feel low because I feel a bit behind others with life stuff because of the upheaval of dealing with all of that at a relatively young age. But then I just think that I'm lucky to be here and remember that just being able to watch football, read the paper, go for a run etc is brilliant. Bluesky is totally right - live in the moment. Can feel that win at Villa coming...
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:14 - Feb 5 with 1491 views
I find it genuinely terrifying and, as someone who's had thoughts about ending it all, I find there are times that that juxtaposition really overwhelms.
I'm 40 now, I figured that's halfway, but we've lost some really good friends around our age just lately and, again, I just find it all too much to comprehend sometimes.
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:34 - Feb 5 with 1449 views
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:10 - Feb 5 by jasondozzell
Really interesting thread.
I had bowel cancer 5 years ago in my early thirties. It was quite serious - lots of rounds of chemo before and after a big op. But NHS was brilliant and I had my 5 year scan last year and all clear.
Inevitably it made me think a lot about death (and I was an overthinker anyway so didn't need encouragement!). In the end, the way I dealt with it was to just concentrate on the day ahead. It also really underlined that the small things are the best things. It sounds mad but I remember a whole day where I was just really appreciative of walking outside and looking at trees!
It's easy to lose that clarity though. Sometimes I feel low because I feel a bit behind others with life stuff because of the upheaval of dealing with all of that at a relatively young age. But then I just think that I'm lucky to be here and remember that just being able to watch football, read the paper, go for a run etc is brilliant. Bluesky is totally right - live in the moment. Can feel that win at Villa coming...
Nothing about your post sounds mad at all. It is absolutely spot on and thank you for posting it. As the forum knows, Mrs C had to deal with cancer last year. She too is clear. Despite having a positive outlook, not changing who she is there’s the odd low day or more accurately moment. It’s an hard old road. I’m a great believer that you never ‘get over’ any bad experiences. You just learn to live with them. Place them and if you can gain or learn from an experience, that can only be good.
Same applies to a really close friend of mine who had to deal with stage 4 breast cancer at the age of 50 in 2012, She’s meant to be gone, but nope, she still enjoys her life. Even lunching with me every month or two! She carries the side effects, including osteoporosis. But like Mrs C she’s still the same lovely person who lives and appreciates each day.
All I can say to you really is that we are all lucky to be here. Yep, live the moment!
[Post edited 5 Feb 22:35]
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:37 - Feb 5 with 1448 views
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:34 - Feb 5 by Churchman
Nothing about your post sounds mad at all. It is absolutely spot on and thank you for posting it. As the forum knows, Mrs C had to deal with cancer last year. She too is clear. Despite having a positive outlook, not changing who she is there’s the odd low day or more accurately moment. It’s an hard old road. I’m a great believer that you never ‘get over’ any bad experiences. You just learn to live with them. Place them and if you can gain or learn from an experience, that can only be good.
Same applies to a really close friend of mine who had to deal with stage 4 breast cancer at the age of 50 in 2012, She’s meant to be gone, but nope, she still enjoys her life. Even lunching with me every month or two! She carries the side effects, including osteoporosis. But like Mrs C she’s still the same lovely person who lives and appreciates each day.
All I can say to you really is that we are all lucky to be here. Yep, live the moment!
[Post edited 5 Feb 22:35]
Cheers, Churchman. Really glad to hear Mrs C is doing well and in the clear. That's great news. You're exactly right about living with the bad experiences and taking what you can from them. It definitely is a hard old road and bound to be ups and downs but the knowledge that comes from it can be a source of strength.
Solidarity to your friend. Brilliant to hear the way she's staying positive and enjoying life. Living and appreciating each day is the way. We could all benefit from remembering that every so often.
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 22:51 - Feb 5 with 1417 views
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 20:22 - Feb 5 by _clive_baker_
I think about this a lot. It’s actually quite ludicrous that we go into education from 5, then work our whole lives to retire at, what, 65 on average? To maybe get 15 years of retirement if we’re lucky. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. Year after year after year. Working to survive and if we’re lucky fund that summer holiday. It’s ludicrous when you step back and think about it. We’re here once, this ain’t no trial run.
I’m really bad at letting work stress get to me and taking it home with me. My wife said to me the other day that in 10 years time the only people who will remember that I worked late are my kids. Not my boss or my colleagues. I know it’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but I struggle to remember that and peer pressure / imposter syndrome has always been a thing for me I think. Financially, like most I have to earn as well what with a mortgage, bills, young family to provide for, so I’m somewhat trapped in the system like a lot of people. I’m sure it’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness but true financial freedom must be so liberating.
There must be a better way, maybe it’s just a different job / career I need and something with a bit more purpose. There’s got to be a better way.
I think you speak for a huge % of the population. I feel very much the same. I work hard and feel the stress as well. At the same time I do find it baffling what we are all working towards because in reality we're all heading to the same place.
I guess having a system is better than anarchy and I still teach my kids the importance of a good work ethic etc. but I hope they find the right balance and chase their dream a bit more.
Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 20:22 - Feb 5 by _clive_baker_
I think about this a lot. It’s actually quite ludicrous that we go into education from 5, then work our whole lives to retire at, what, 65 on average? To maybe get 15 years of retirement if we’re lucky. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. Year after year after year. Working to survive and if we’re lucky fund that summer holiday. It’s ludicrous when you step back and think about it. We’re here once, this ain’t no trial run.
I’m really bad at letting work stress get to me and taking it home with me. My wife said to me the other day that in 10 years time the only people who will remember that I worked late are my kids. Not my boss or my colleagues. I know it’s not important in the grand scheme of things, but I struggle to remember that and peer pressure / imposter syndrome has always been a thing for me I think. Financially, like most I have to earn as well what with a mortgage, bills, young family to provide for, so I’m somewhat trapped in the system like a lot of people. I’m sure it’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness but true financial freedom must be so liberating.
There must be a better way, maybe it’s just a different job / career I need and something with a bit more purpose. There’s got to be a better way.
Fortunately this saved me several years of getting on the grind but it got me in the end. There's worse things than being paid to be outdoors though.
Edit...Our dog is nearly 19. At 60 I'm wondering whether I have another dog in me but with a 20 year old daughter I surely hope so.
[Post edited 5 Feb 23:20]
"They break our legs and tell us to be grateful when they offer us crutches."
Some have talked of boring corporate jobs and someone else mentioned redundancy. If you do get the chance of redundancy, don’t fear it. It can be an opportunity to positively change your life. My wife and I were both made redundant from middling corporate jobs at the same company 22 years ago. We had two kids, 1 and 3. Not good timing. But allowed us to completely alter our lives and have a new outlook on life. Paid off a small mortgage in Oxfordshire, relocated to near Lincoln, set up our own business which we sold after 12 years and retired at 52, invested in the stock market and lived comfortably and healthily since. I realise we were incredibly fortunate and others stories don’t pan out that way. I know it’s a cliche but do live for the moment, do things when you get the chance. Kids left a few years ago and we’re seeing a world we couldn’t do before. Travel when you’re young if you can. Long haul flights aren’t fun at 60plus.
My parents and gparents all died in mid to late 70s from heart issues and I’ve had high bp for years so guess how I think I’m going to be getting the red card and when. Whenever I think about it and what eternity means, I can’t get my head around it so I stop and try and plan something positive to do instead. Agree with others, I just hope my mind and body are still sharp and reasonably able at the end and it’s quick so as to spare everyone else left behind.
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Do you ever think about how long you’ve got left? on 06:56 - Feb 6 with 1214 views
I think I’m either dying at 60 (live fast, die young, rock and roll) or living til I’m 110.
If you’d have asked me on the day I went to uni a few years back, I’d have made myself 100/1 to be living at 30. Am only 26 now so don’t want to pre-tempt fate but I’m a lot more confident I’ll see 2028. And more importantly I hope I do.
I've only just turned 33 and (even though my dad passed at 67) I'm going to look and feel young and be absolutely healthy for at least another 80-100 years so I don't need to think about it yet.
Just turned 60 and have given this subject loads of thought of late as recently diagnosed with Parkinsons. Having gone from slim, healthy and a gym junkie, this has actually had a positive effect on my life. I enjoy every ounce of life now, laugh more and refuse to stress out, i am technically smelling the roses and enjoying life. My advice to anyone young is to enjoy lifes journey, be happy, love those around you and look after your body. On the flip side, I think my Grand daughters are taking advantage of my new found love/generosity lol.
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