| Self embarrassment amnesty 14:50 - May 3 with 15863 views | artsbossbeard |
What have you done that you look back upon and slap yourself on the forehead?
When I first got my PS4 I didn't read the packaging (of course), so I had no idea that the controllers were both rechargeable & wireless, I simply attached them to the USB sockets on the device.
I wrote an email to Sony UK to complain that I had to sit too close to the TV and that it was spoiling my gaming experience and received a very polite email back informing me that they should be disconnected when playing and they didn't call me stupid.
Beat that, fellow blues. |  |
| Please note: prior to hitting the post button, I've double checked for anything that could be construed as "Anti Semitic" and to the best of my knowledge it isn't. Anything deemed to be of a Xenophobic nature is therefore purely accidental or down to your own misconstruing. | | Poll: | Raining in IP8 - shall I get the washing in? |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:38 - May 3 with 4240 views | BackToRussia |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:29 - May 3 by wkj |
Potato = Root Vegetable
Carrot = Root Vegetable
As far as veggies go, carrots and potatos are very much from the same cloth |
If you wanna get technical potatoes are a tuber. Carrots are a tap root. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:42 - May 3 with 4220 views | factual_blue |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:14 - May 3 by giant_stow |
Someone whatsapped my group with a close up photo of a plump belly wearing a football shirt with a caption of 'who's this?' I replied, 'it has to be a fat man as it has it has a beer belly and next to no titties, but no idea who.' He replied that it was his pregnant wife. |
Or sister if this was a norwich shirt. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:43 - May 3 with 4217 views | factual_blue |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:00 - May 3 by The_Romford_Blue |
I was takin the piss. I’m not embarrassed by anything I’ve said on here. Even if I’ve said saink dopey.
No time for regrets innit. |
Just go and use some wired wifi. [Post edited 3 May 2018 16:44]
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 17:00 - May 3 with 4187 views | Half_Idiot |
A few years ago I used to drink in a nice pub called the rising sun, hadn't been in a while as I didn't have a job, so no money to drink. I then saw an advert online for a bar job at the rising sun, applied got an email to go for an interview. Turned up at what was a favoured drinking hole of mine to find out there's another pub about a mile away with the same name. |  | | |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 17:21 - May 3 with 4147 views | factual_blue |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 15:24 - May 3 by Lesta_Tractor |
even worse, I live near Leicester. |
People don't live in or near Leicester; they merely exist. | |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 18:11 - May 3 with 4108 views | factual_blue |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 16:29 - May 3 by wkj |
Potato = Root Vegetable
Carrot = Root Vegetable
As far as veggies go, carrots and potatos are very much from the same cloth |
Finest fillet steak = cow. You are what you eat, therefore fillet steak is processed grass, and therefore a vegetable.
This impeccable logic works for cheese, wine and brandy and so on.
I've cracked this five-a-day lark. | |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 18:12 - May 3 with 4108 views | SpruceMoose |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 18:11 - May 3 by factual_blue |
Finest fillet steak = cow. You are what you eat, therefore fillet steak is processed grass, and therefore a vegetable.
This impeccable logic works for cheese, wine and brandy and so on.
I've cracked this five-a-day lark. |
Grass is vegetable? What about rice? I guess everything is a vegetable so we are all vegans.
I like it. I'm going to go tell everyone I know about my vegan-ness. |  |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 18:34 - May 3 with 4083 views | Lord_Lucan |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 14:52 - May 3 by wkj |
I put hoppy on ignore without knowing it |
I done the same thing but on purpose. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 18:44 - May 3 with 4067 views | factual_blue |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 15:25 - May 3 by severnside_blue |
Got into lift with colleague said "How's things?, you look good, when's the baby due?"..."I'm not. It's the other Michelle who's pregnant" |
As Jimmy Carr observed 'on a bus, I'd rather see a pregnant woman stand than a fat woman cry'. | |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 19:25 - May 3 with 4037 views | J2BLUE |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 18:44 - May 3 by factual_blue |
As Jimmy Carr observed 'on a bus, I'd rather see a pregnant woman stand than a fat woman cry'. |
I don't deal in anything as common as buses. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 19:27 - May 3 with 4036 views | SpruceMoose |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 19:25 - May 3 by J2BLUE |
I don't deal in anything as common as buses. |
I guess they won't let you on with your pedicab? | |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 20:02 - May 3 with 4009 views | m14_blue |
Got myself trapped in a disabled lift where I used to work. It had a glass door and the place was heaving with people who all thought they were comedians.
I had the emergency release key with me but no way of getting it out.
That was a really long couple of hours. | | | |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 21:23 - May 3 with 3949 views | Melford |
I downed a pint of my own piss once by mistake. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 21:24 - May 3 with 3942 views | J2BLUE |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 21:23 - May 3 by Melford |
I downed a pint of my own piss once by mistake. |
Whose piss did you think it was? | |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 21:47 - May 3 with 3916 views | StNeotsBlue |
Back in the day when I was a virile young buck I regularly had a fruitful arrangement with a young lady who lodged at a house near my local. On my 22nd birthday I'd been thirsty all day and by the end of the night was extremely weary, so ambled round to the house and let myself in. Went into the bedroom, stripped off and jumped in the bed for a cuddle. Unfortunately, in my tired and emotional delirium I'd gone in the wrong bedroom and was cuddling up to the owner of the houses' mother who was staying over.
She screamed a bit, I screamed a bit, the owner and my friend I meant to cuddle rushed in and sorted it out. |  | | |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 02:26 - May 4 with 3802 views | SpruceMoose |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 21:47 - May 3 by StNeotsBlue |
Back in the day when I was a virile young buck I regularly had a fruitful arrangement with a young lady who lodged at a house near my local. On my 22nd birthday I'd been thirsty all day and by the end of the night was extremely weary, so ambled round to the house and let myself in. Went into the bedroom, stripped off and jumped in the bed for a cuddle. Unfortunately, in my tired and emotional delirium I'd gone in the wrong bedroom and was cuddling up to the owner of the houses' mother who was staying over.
She screamed a bit, I screamed a bit, the owner and my friend I meant to cuddle rushed in and sorted it out. |
"She screamed a bit, I screamed a bit, the owner and my friend I meant to cuddle rushed in and sorted it out."
Pwoar. Sounds proper mucky! | |
| Pronouns: He/Him/His.
"Imagine being a heterosexual white male in Britain at this moment. How bad is that. Everything you say is racist, everything you say is homophobic. The Woke community have really f****d this country." | | Poll: | Selectamod |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 03:53 - May 4 with 3789 views | textbackup |
football wise....
forget who it was, but they lumped the ball forward with a few secs left of a game, as the ball was mid flight I shouted "what fcking good is another long ball...." seconds later Darren Bent had put it over the wigan keepers head and we are top of the league at xmas. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 04:06 - May 4 with 3788 views | textbackup |
normal life....
sat at home one Saturday night, I was casually flicking through facebook and a mate has posted..
"cant believe sky have got the Haye fight on channel 636 (or whatever it was) for free*"
so I grab remote, press the buttons..... turns out its Gay Chat, have a giggle to myself that he's got me.. and put on MOTD thats recording on sky+.... anyway, I fall asleep watching MOTD, wake up at 5am on the sofa, TV has turned itself off, I go up to bed.
I go down in the morning to the wife sitting in the kitchen looking horrified, "can you tell me what you watched on TV lastnight and why!?"..
"match of the day, why"
turns out the Sky box goes back to the last channel you were viewing AFTER a recorded program finishes....
she's woken up, put the TV on... Gay Chat!
had all the proof to back that story up, thankfully!
*Haye was fighting on a pay per view channel | |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 04:18 - May 4 with 3783 views | Atractorive |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 15:04 - May 3 by Benters2 |
Go back then? |
"If you don't think this is the greatest country in the world then don't live here!" Or something like that... |  | | |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 06:03 - May 4 with 3758 views | SE1blue |
Radio 1 used to do roadshows on beaches up and down the country where you could go along and see the latest bands and have a day out at the beach.
As a horny 18 year old, I went to one in Southend with a female friend who I had always hoped would become more than just a mate. She was always flirting with me and had been the one who suggested going to the roadshow so I had assumed the best.
A few beers in and during one of her favourite songs I reached out to hold her hand and was so pleased when she grasped my nervous paw. After a minute of cheesy hand swaying I looked across and smiled only to see she was dancing alone about 2 metres to my right. I was holding the hand of a very happy 9 or 10 year old whose hand I threw away immediately.
I’m still in touch with my friend who signs all my birthday/Christmas cards off with “he’s the one mummy” 27 years later. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 09:19 - May 4 with 3694 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 21:47 - May 3 by StNeotsBlue |
Back in the day when I was a virile young buck I regularly had a fruitful arrangement with a young lady who lodged at a house near my local. On my 22nd birthday I'd been thirsty all day and by the end of the night was extremely weary, so ambled round to the house and let myself in. Went into the bedroom, stripped off and jumped in the bed for a cuddle. Unfortunately, in my tired and emotional delirium I'd gone in the wrong bedroom and was cuddling up to the owner of the houses' mother who was staying over.
She screamed a bit, I screamed a bit, the owner and my friend I meant to cuddle rushed in and sorted it out. |
Related, I was on a field trip in Jura about 20 years ago. A few of us got talking to some locals in the bar and had one too many scotch followed by more. As the bar was winding down they said they'd crack open a bottle at their place just up the road and have a bit of a party - told us where they lived and said we were welcome to go ahead, help ourselves from the drinks cabinet and they'd follow along.
So we todlled of down the road and let ourselves into their place. Couldn't find the drinks cabinet but found a bottle in the kitchen and started tucking in. Obviously thoughts then turned to music so we started having a look a round for a stereo. Cue much rooting around; nothing in the kitchen or lounge. So opened up another door, pinged on the light and walked straight into the bedroom of an old couple who were sat up in bed looking absolutely terrified.
Much apologising and backtracking later we found out we should have been next door  . |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 10:12 - May 4 with 3667 views | SouperJim |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 03:53 - May 4 by textbackup |
football wise....
forget who it was, but they lumped the ball forward with a few secs left of a game, as the ball was mid flight I shouted "what fcking good is another long ball...." seconds later Darren Bent had put it over the wigan keepers head and we are top of the league at xmas. |
Forest away, some time in my mid twenties. Hostile atmosphere, home fans shouting abuse from the tier above us etc. I stood up, started off at full volume "Give us an Eye... Pee... Ess......" about as far as I got, having forgotten how to spell Ipswich. Sat down again. |  |
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 10:14 - May 4 with 3662 views | wkj |
| Self embarrassment amnesty on 10:12 - May 4 by SouperJim |
Forest away, some time in my mid twenties. Hostile atmosphere, home fans shouting abuse from the tier above us etc. I stood up, started off at full volume "Give us an Eye... Pee... Ess......" about as far as I got, having forgotten how to spell Ipswich. Sat down again. |
Reminds me of a game we went to, Sheff United away i think, under Burley... Clapham bombing up the wing, top of his lungs some lad shouts 'GO ON TANNER' ... scenes [Post edited 4 May 2018 10:15]
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| Self embarrassment amnesty on 10:28 - May 4 with 3640 views | MJallday |
Im sure i've had many in my lifetime.
for instance the time i texted my boss instead of my wife whilst working from home to say "im so bored, cant wait for you to get home"
many years ago (i was about 17) i worked in a warehouse as a weekend job, there was a knock at the door and it was an oldish lady asking for a colleague - i found said colleague and said "theres someone at the door" - he said "who is it" and i said "its your mum"
unfortunately unbeknownst to me his mum had died the previous day.
im sure there are many others. but those 2 spring to mind |  |
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