| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? 13:59 - Jul 19 with 2468 views | Swailsey |
Hey TWTD, hope you’ve all been keeping well.
I’m looking for advice/to hear positive stories from those who have relocated to another part of the country/world, and how you’ve found it?
I don’t mean the specific place, but leaving your friends, family etc.
As some of you may know, I’ve had a really tough last few years and have found myself now with a new job, and a wonderful partner who I’ve known a long time, and we finally got together at the start of the year.
I’m determined to make the most of this life, and we are looking to relocate to Scotland at the end of the year.
I’ve lived my whole life in Ipswich, but want to experience new things whilst I’m young enough (38), and would like to start a family.
The only reason I’ve stayed here as long as I have is my friendship group, which has gradually become less and less active in recent years due to life/children etc. I know the friendships between two of my closest friends will change, and I’m ok with that as I’ll be getting a new lease of life with my partner: but I think I’ll still struggle when those friendships change, as they were my lifeline for so many years.
I’m excited, nervous, scared but am going to embrace the wonderful opportunity I’ve been lucky enough to find myself in.
Thanks. Also, happy promotion etc! |  |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
| |  |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:13 - Jul 19 with 2030 views | NewcyBlue |
I've got a friend up here that I see regularly.
A friend that I don't see regularly enough (he's 70 and is a Jaguar enthusiast too).
That's it really.
When you move, just be aware that unless you're outgoing and willing to join clubs or do stuff that will introduce you to people, then it could be quite a lonely existence.
If you get the chance to move somewhere different, do it. You learn more about yourself and your current friendships and familial relationships than you will realise.
Scotland is a bloody lovely country, and it's a short train ride down to the Toon, which can only be a plus to come visit me surely!
You've got my number mate, always here for you. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:30 - Jul 19 with 1919 views | Westover |
I was born in Colchester and lived in Brentwood for many years but just over twenty years ago I moved to the west of Ireland and loved it apart from the weather, seven years ago we moved to the Algarve and it's very nice but we go back to Ireland as much as we can, have you thought about Ireland?, we go to Waterford as the weather is better in the east and the Irish people are so nice it's easy to make friends.
Good luck whatever you decide to do. |  | | |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:36 - Jul 19 with 1869 views | Ryorry |
Moved from S to N (first West, then North Yorkshire) when I was 25. Wasn't partnered up but was v. nervous about leaving everything known behind inc friends, fam - had never lived anywhere else than home counties, Oxford, Ipswich or London.
Personal experience was that I needn't have worried, loved & fell into the N immediately like a duck into water, mostly friendly & outgoing people, not aloof or buttoned like many southerners. Quickly made new friends through work & activities. And there wasn't even digital tech back then to keep in touch with fam/friends!
Think you're right to go for it - you can always move back if it doesn't work for you, and you won't know unless you try!
Great to see you back on here btw :) |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:36 - Jul 19 with 1854 views | WeWereZombies |
Living on Skye I have found the last thirteen years very rewarding in general but with a few challenges along the way - but they are usually the result of later life. One thing I will say is that there are many Scotlands, maybe as Many or more as there are Englands and Irelands, So visit often before you move, in different seasons and weathers, to see what suits you. The Highlands and Islands are quite different from the Central Belt, the Borders, Fife and Aberdeenshire different again. The Far North and Orkney very different. I haven't made it to Shetland yet but reports make it seem like another planet...Cost of living should be cheaper than Suffolk but you may find that you need a lot of practical skills outside of the Central Belt and the East Coast as tradesmen are a wee bit thin on the ground. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:46 - Jul 19 with 1801 views | Lesta_Tractor |
I've moved about a bit.
Australia was great, easy to make friends and an incredible place but it's just so far away from every where else.
Back in England now, Melton is nice but I've found it a lot harder to make friends here.
Joining local clubs has helped, I played hockey until recently and I also run with the local club. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:58 - Jul 19 with 1740 views | ronnyd |
My kids tell me that owning a dog is a great ice breaker. This is the man who's never lived outside Suffolk lol.  | | | |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:58 - Jul 19 with 1739 views | ADStephenson |
I grew up in Suffolk, went to uni, then moved to Colchester on graduating. After 5 years working in the same job I decided I needed to go somewhere else and moved to Cologne in Germany for a year. I was excited but a bit nervous. I was only there for a year as my wife got a job in London but I've just said goodbye to the friends I made whilst I was there as they came to stay for the weekend. I left Germany in 2016.
I also moved to Northamptonshire upon returning from Germany to be nearer my wife's parents for some support as we planned on having children. And now, I'm back in Suffolk again. Don't regret any moves at all. Well worth doing and people often say how amazing it must have been to have lived in another country. I'm a little bit older than you, but not by much. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:59 - Jul 19 with 1733 views | Nutkins_Return |
Great to see a post from you on here again and sounds like a great opportunity and lovely to hear you have a new partner.
I moved to the midlands years ago with Partner and never really looked back. Was still playing football then so met new friends that way really so I guess you should just look at any clubs/social things where you might people like running clubs etc.
I think if it feels right just go for it and embrace the journey/discovery of it.
Good luck bud. | |
| |
Login to get fewer ads
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 15:14 - Jul 19 with 1641 views | homer_123 |
In the 'modern' world living away (in the UK) is as easy as it gets. No idea what work you do bud but a lot can now be done remotely, so moving to other parts of Blighty is easy in that regards.
In terms of family, I've not found it difficult to live away from friends and family, staying in touch is a doddle. Just don't put off travel back as often as you can to properly catch up etc.
I've moved a lot - I don't find it stressful (buying/ selling/ renting) but that is likely me and my personality. As a family we moved, so it's never been an issue. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 15:46 - Jul 19 with 1512 views | giant_stow |
I only moved to another part of London, so should stay out of this! The only thing I'd add is re making new friends. The single best thing to do is to get involved in clubs and activities - playing football really help build a bond. If you end up having kids, ditto schooling.
All the best fella - this sounds really positive! |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 16:04 - Jul 19 with 1441 views | ArnoldMoorhen |
We moved from Eat Midlands to Edinburgh in March 2020.
Edinburgh and Glasgow are both world class cities, with everything you could want or need, and are about an hour's drive from each other, too.
House prices in medium sized towns in the Central Belt, like Falkirk or Stirling, will be gobsmacking to anyone used to southern English prices.
It's a seriously long way back to family and friends, but lots of friends have wanted to visit, if you have the budget for a spare room.
Your money will buy you even more elsewhere in Scotland. If you want an outdoors life, and can work from home, then the harbour villages on the Fife coast like Anstruther are worth looking at. £130,000 will get a two bed flat with sea views, possibly three bed, only a couple of minutes walk from the harbour.
Or you have the Isles. Or the Cairngorms (another hour plus further North than Edinburgh) or other mountain ranges.
A lot of choice! Where are you looking at? | | | |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 16:06 - Jul 19 with 1432 views | Kropotkin123 |
In 2015 I moved to South Korea. 2 years later, I moved to London. In 2021 I moved to Canada.
South Korea was great. I found it easy to make friends. I was constantly doing knew things. I was happy to travel 3 hours to another part of the country to see or try new things. I found the culture easy to integrate with. I was an ESL teacher there, and could put aside money each month. I could have significantly increased my income by becoming a University teacher.
I met my wife there. She is a Canadian Korean. As she was ethnically Korean, people treated her differently. The expectations placed on her where Korean cultural standards. Eg, don't leave work until your manager leaves. Has to follow a strict hierarchy when speaking to people and making decisions. It was a different cultural expectation and experience for her. She couldn't see herself living there long term. So we had a few choices.
Two of my closest family members didn't really know my situation and could help inserting themselves in my life choices. When I was visiting the UK, they said they would help me return to the UK. They said they had a house in London that we could live in at a discounted rate. They said they had contacts that would help me get set up in an industry. Knowing this, my partner and I decided to relocate to London.
We got none of that help and it was extremely difficult. We weren't prepared to set up in London. My plans to work work and train to be a teacher (as I really liked that) were possible. I ended up pivoting and becoming a recruiter. I put my head down for a few years. No friends. Just working and advancing in my new career. We did a lot of travelling around Europe in our spare time.
Once the pandemic hit, we decided to relocate to Canada, to have a family there. Again, I kind of focused on my career. Now I've been here for around 5 years, I need to focus on building a friendship group, but it is hard. People my age (and me) have families, family commitments. I'm doing parent kid activities (soccer!) for my kid, but also to build connections with people in similar circumstances to me. That might seem weird.l, but the practical side of having no family here to support us means we always have to be mindful of nap times, his structure, and so on.
What's the learning from this?
1. Making friends can be a challenge if you don't put in the effort to make them. Make sure you make time for your interests if that is important to you.
2. Don't rely on other people. Have a plan for if promises don't materialize. Even though I am amicable with the two people who lied to me I am still resentful. Their lies, and it later turned out to be an unfounded agenda, cost me significant time, money, and peace of mind, that I could have easily prepared against if I moved a year later.
3. Moving is an opportunity. I have a wife, a child, and a good job. I have a small friendship group and need to improve that area of my life. There have been ups and downs, it is still life, not an elixir. There are still people that are going to be net positives and negatives along the way. You are still going to have choices that have positive or negative outcomes.
11 years after moving to South Korea, I've just become a Canadian citizen. My passport arrives on the 29th. I love being a father. So far I'm doing a good job of it. I'm at a company were I'm well paid, respected, and we do awesome stuff. I need to work on building friendships. I'm limited in property-ownership. I own a 2-bed. I can't see a route to a 3-bed anytime soon. Having a second kid would be a real struggle for space and doing a good job of parenting.
Sorry, I tried to be somewhat organized about the presentation of info, but it is ABIT messy and repetitive. [Post edited 19 Jul 16:07]
|  |
| Submit your 1-24 league prediction here -https://www.twtd.co.uk/forum/514096/page:1 - for the opportunity to get a free Ipswich top. | | Poll: | Would you rather | | Blog: | Round Four: Eagle |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 16:27 - Jul 19 with 1345 views | MVBlue |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:46 - Jul 19 by Lesta_Tractor |
I've moved about a bit.
Australia was great, easy to make friends and an incredible place but it's just so far away from every where else.
Back in England now, Melton is nice but I've found it a lot harder to make friends here.
Joining local clubs has helped, I played hockey until recently and I also run with the local club. |
I too moved to Australia (MelbourneVictoryBlue I was) and unless your partner is an Aussie you'll end up with no family unless they are prepared to visit or you use all your holiday doing the same. Even phone calls are tricky.
Moving in your 30s is good, you have financial backing and a career mapped and in progress..
You do need to take time to build connections and in your 30s its really not too hard its after that it gets a bit harder.
One thing, you are always you, with your own foibles and mindset no matter where you move.But a change is as good as a rest they say. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 16:32 - Jul 19 with 1326 views | GlasgowBlue |
Good to see you back mate. Hope you are well?
I've relocated twice. Once to the Canary Islands for to years in 1992 and then to Scotland in 1994. Both times it was to work in the same industry.
In the Canaries we all worked together and partied together. So I didn't have any teething problems making new friends. Likewise when I went to Scotland I was living and working at a resort in the Highlands. So again, no issues making friends.
I met my Mrs in Scotland and when we moved into our first house just outside of Glasgow we quickly made friends with neighbours. Got into 5 a side via a neighbour and made a good social circle.
When we moved into the house I live on now, all the neighbours had kids of the same age so we made lifelong friends.
You're a. musician so you will no doubt find new friends in the local music scene. Whereabouts in Scotland are you moving to? |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 17:15 - Jul 19 with 1235 views | bluelagos |
So lived in a few places, having taken jobs in places overseas. Expat communities are somewhat different to moving to Scotland so my experiences won't be particularly relevant.
I would say technology makes retaining connections to friends and family so much easier today than previously.
A fresh start also gives you a chance to reset and find interests in your new home without anyone (yourself too) having preset expectations of people or organisations.
And good to hear you are well and taking life in your stride. Hope it goes well. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 17:29 - Jul 19 with 1185 views | Ryorry |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:58 - Jul 19 by ronnyd |
My kids tell me that owning a dog is a great ice breaker. This is the man who's never lived outside Suffolk lol. |
Your kids are right - dogs have a habit of introducing themselves to each other out on walks, which means the owners usually following suit!
When I moved a few miles to new house & new small community a few years ago, this happened with my dog & two Labradors owned by a couple about my age when out walking.
We chatted, they invited me over for coffee at a later time at which they'd also invited their next door neighbours. Got to know almost everyone else in the vicinity through that rippling out! | |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 17:42 - Jul 19 with 1133 views | NorthLondonBlue2 |
Moving location is always an exciting thing to do - and I’ve moved country a few times now.
However, if you’re serious about starting a family, make that your starting point.
First, childcare. Who can do it, and for how long? Will you be moving away from, or towards family who will happily babysit in the early years? This makes a *massive* difference to the financial pressures of becoming a parent and free childcare can make a huge difference to the overall strain of parenting in the early years.
Second: schools, nursery, primary and secondary. Research what is out there, how well regarded they are and how close to where you’ll be living they’ll be. Trust me, getting young children up, fed, washed and dressed is a major exercise. Getting them into a car to drive to a school with little parking etc can be very stressful. The joy I had when I moved within a stone’s throw from my kids’ primary school was immense.
That’s not to say you can’t relocate to somewhere and then move again. But do bear in mind your needs will change radically with children.
Finally, you and your partner will instantly make friends with the parents of similarly aged children, with all the birthday parties and outings and just having people over. So don’t worry about that.
Best of luck in whatever you decide - it’s all worth it and there’s so much fun to be had! | | | |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 18:20 - Jul 19 with 1027 views | noggin |
I moved to Norway 20 years ago. All I will say is, learn the language. I know that might be difficult in Scotland but even if you can say "Hello", "Please", "Thank you" and "Get te feck ya wee pr1ck" in Scotch, you'll be fine. [Post edited 19 Jul 18:26]
|  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 19:49 - Jul 19 with 875 views | JimmyJazz |
I would say to take the opportunity. If the worst happens you just look to move back or elsewhere
Hope the new job is going well |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 21:13 - Jul 19 with 736 views | IndependentlyBlue |
Sorry Swailsey, can’t offer that much advice that isn’t a repetition of what others have said. There are times in our lives, though, that we just need to take a deep breath and go for it. I did just that nearly 30 years ago and don’t regret it. Tough at first but it was the best decision I’ve made and helped to make me a better person. It helps massively that you have the love of a good partner.
Great to hear that you’re doing well, congratulations on the new job as well as the new relationship.
Hope things go well for you in the future, you’re one of the good guys and deserve it.
Am sure they have the interweb North of the Border so, whether this is a good thing or not I’ll let you decide, TWTD will always be here |  |
| Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 21:18 - Jul 19 with 717 views | vapour_trail |
I have. We decided we wanted to live by the sea.
We took our time. Visited lots of places. We were limited by employment opportunities and needed to factor in schooling, but whatever your considerations, worth checking a good few places out. When we settled on a small shortlist , we visited at different times of year and overnighted so that we could have a night out and see different aspects of the place.
Thirteen years here now. Best thing we ever did.
Good luck with yours Swailsey. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 21:18 - Jul 19 with 716 views | Swansea_Blue |
Yes, several times. I’ve got no regrets, but that’s specific to me. Some rambling and general thoughts/advice below from what I’ve learnt (feel free to ignore as you wish):
- different places are, er, different. The people are different, the culture’s different and the physical environment is different. Be prepared for that and don’t worry if you feel like an outsider at first. That changes when you put down roots. I’ve never felt like a local in wales despite living here longer than anywhere else, but that’s fine. Scotland has longer summer nights and longer dark winter days, and often more crappy weather. It’s no biggy unless you’re a sun worshiper with SAD!
- it’s not clear why you are thinking of the move. Is it because the new job needs it, or your partner wants to go or you both want to go? If you’re clear why you’re going it gives you a focus and helps frame your plans (‘I need to be here for work so will suck up any downsides until
I know the job is right for me’ is very different from ‘we can both work from anywhere and want a change of scene and new adventure’). If it’s out of choice it’s on your terms; try it and set a time to review. E.g. give it 3 years and if you’re not happy then move again. If one of you has to be there for work that’s different as the other partner has to be happy to move for the other.
- make sure it works for you. Linked to above really. In the decision to go make sure you’re not lining up regrets down the line. If you’re moving just because of your partner, know you may need to make some sacrifices and be happy they’re worth it. It doesn’t sound like that though, as you’ve not said they are forcing a move. If you can both work anywhere and the change just appeals for adventure, that’s a really strong position to be in as you’re on this new journey together as equals. My advice then would be to grab any opportunities and just live life. If you have choice of where to live you’re really lucky.
- personally, I’d always put your relationship first. If you’re serious about starting a family and you’re convinced this is someone you could settle down with, that trumps all other considerations imo. You’d be happy in Carrow Road! Make sure they feel the same though - if so, don’t fart about, just make it formal with a marriage/civil partnership! Life’s too short to overlook opportunities. As long as you can get by financially and you feel like the real you around them, just go for it. I don’t think there’s ‘the one’; only a world full of people, many of which we are going to be attracted to and make us feel like ourselves. That’s enough.
- a family will be all-consuming, at least for a few years. Even if kids don’t come along as expected, it’ll still be intense and you’d not see as much of friends even if you stayed in Ipswich. If kids do come along, lol good luck! Old friendships will dwindle, it’s inevitable and even more so when you move away/start a family. It’s down to you and them to keep friendships ticking over in the background. I just went on holiday with a mate and my best man from Uni from 35 years ago. We’ve probably only seen each other twice in the last 6 years before that. Good friendships will survive if you want them to and if they’re real friendships. They’re not a reason to not move into family life (imo).
- Having a family is the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s bloody hard work, but it took me far too long to realise that is the most important thing. As long as you have each other, and enough money for shelter and food and a reasonable life if course, nothing else really matters imo.
- I’ve only ever regretted opportunities I’ve not taken up. I’ve never regretted trying something new. Make from that what you will. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 21:29 - Jul 19 with 685 views | Swansea_Blue |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 17:29 - Jul 19 by Ryorry |
Your kids are right - dogs have a habit of introducing themselves to each other out on walks, which means the owners usually following suit!
When I moved a few miles to new house & new small community a few years ago, this happened with my dog & two Labradors owned by a couple about my age when out walking.
We chatted, they invited me over for coffee at a later time at which they'd also invited their next door neighbours. Got to know almost everyone else in the vicinity through that rippling out! |
So if the dogs start sniffing each other’s bottoms, do you owners do the same? | |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 21:43 - Jul 19 with 650 views | TractorWood |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 14:13 - Jul 19 by NewcyBlue |
I've got a friend up here that I see regularly.
A friend that I don't see regularly enough (he's 70 and is a Jaguar enthusiast too).
That's it really.
When you move, just be aware that unless you're outgoing and willing to join clubs or do stuff that will introduce you to people, then it could be quite a lonely existence.
If you get the chance to move somewhere different, do it. You learn more about yourself and your current friendships and familial relationships than you will realise.
Scotland is a bloody lovely country, and it's a short train ride down to the Toon, which can only be a plus to come visit me surely!
You've got my number mate, always here for you. |
I have wanted to relocate the family to Scotland for some time. Between Perth a d Aviemore would be the location. Mostly to buy a nice house hopefully lose the mortgage in the process without losing space.
We are hugely in to the outdoors and we could take reductions in jobs if we don't have east anglian outgoings.
Waiting for a project at work to finish then I think we will mobilse. |  |
| |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 10:07 - Jul 20 with 482 views | WeWereZombies |
| Relocating Advice - anyone done it? on 18:20 - Jul 19 by noggin |
I moved to Norway 20 years ago. All I will say is, learn the language. I know that might be difficult in Scotland but even if you can say "Hello", "Please", "Thank you" and "Get te feck ya wee pr1ck" in Scotch, you'll be fine. [Post edited 19 Jul 18:26]
|
Ach, here we go again, 'Scotch' is an alcoholic drink and 'Scottish is a dialect of English with a whole host of different phrases and words but the same rules of grammar, just the one gender for example. Getting attuned can be tricky and varies widely from one place to another (did you know that there is a Glaswegian rhyming slang as well as a Cockney one, don't be alarmed if a painter tells you he is going to gie yur door frames a going over with Joe Loss...)
There is Gaelic of course, which is different from Gaelic for our Irish readers from Èirinn (Éireann) but it is so difficult to learn that not too many Scots speak it, and if you find yourself surrounded by Doric speakers then you have stumbled into a time machine by accident... | |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
