| Getting stopped by security in shops 09:30 - Mar 11 with 24437 views | monytowbray |
Yesterday the security guard in M&S followed me as I left the shop, blocked me leaving the door and asked me to open my bag. All I had in there was two packs of fake chicken (hardly a shoplifter's menu item) and he demanded to see a receipt I didn't have as I used self-service and never get one as waste of paper. In the end I snatched them out his hand, told him to go f*ck himself and stormed past him with my items. The payment is on my bank statement and they can check their CCTV/transations on the self checkout.
Over reaction maybe and a bit rude, but I can't think for any reason the bloke decided to search me bar the fact I had come straight from the gym in Adidas trackies and a football training shirt and *could* have looked a bit like a chav. And that annoyed me. I literally walked in, went straight to the plant-based section, grabbed what I needed, went straight to the self-check out, paid and went to leave. I didn't linger around the booze or walk around looking shady.
Makes you wonder what else they profile shoplifters on. Am I in good mind to complain? I thought they had to catch you red handed or have strong reasons to suspect you've nicked something to actually stop you? I know my reaction wasn't too savoury but honestly I'm not having some jobsworth jumped-up tw@t in a power trip job accusing me of something I've not done nor even suggested from my actions I may have done.
Sorry bit of a rant. Part of me thought I should go in today in full smart work get up and complain to make a point but honestly CBA, but would take some free M&S food for the cr@p behaviour of their security. |  |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:14 - Mar 11 with 3041 views | footers |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:10 - Mar 11 by J2BLUE |
Maybe get a Curve card or bank account with instant notifications if you want to save paper but still have some proof of purchase. |
Or he should just up his shoplifting game. Getting caught like that is a rookie mistake. |  |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:15 - Mar 11 with 3029 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:14 - Mar 11 by footers |
Or he should just up his shoplifting game. Getting caught like that is a rookie mistake. |
If I were less pressured I would have shown him the transaction on Monzo but alas he made me flustered. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:17 - Mar 11 with 3015 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:11 - Mar 11 by Swailsey |
But you brought MH into it, into the public discussion. He then responded. You accused him of making assumptions. He explained himself in a fair and reasonable manner.
MH conversations have to be two way - it can't just be a sufferer telling someone something. Nothing he has posted (after you specifically mentioned PTSD) makes me think he has been insulting at all. The opposite in fact. |
Did I? Pretty sure I replied to his view about wearing badges. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:21 - Mar 11 with 2996 views | Swailsey |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:17 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
Did I? Pretty sure I replied to his view about wearing badges. |
No before that, before he even got involved.
Reading it back I can see the initial point about badges may have been a bit off (if he was referring to your PTSD) but the point still largely stands.
Either your issue is with the fact he pulled you up for no reason, or the fact that he doesn't understand your struggles. Which one is it? |  |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:23 - Mar 11 with 2976 views | GaryCooper |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 12:38 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
Joey Strummer is proud of you. |
Thought about changing it but Ill leave it as it is. I wonder why? |  | | |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:25 - Mar 11 with 2970 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:21 - Mar 11 by Swailsey |
No before that, before he even got involved.
Reading it back I can see the initial point about badges may have been a bit off (if he was referring to your PTSD) but the point still largely stands.
Either your issue is with the fact he pulled you up for no reason, or the fact that he doesn't understand your struggles. Which one is it? |
I'm not sure how being up front about my MH gives anyone the right to say something incredibly backwards and it be me in the wrong there I'm afraid. Unless you mean another post after the OP? | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:26 - Mar 11 with 2960 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:23 - Mar 11 by GaryCooper |
Thought about changing it but Ill leave it as it is. I wonder why? |
To show fantastic level of cognitive dissonance? That's your cross to bear, no skin off my back if you want to make it easy to mock you ;) | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:26 - Mar 11 with 2957 views | SouthBucksBlue |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 12:11 - Mar 11 by SouthBucksBlue |
Sorry but I don’t get it.
If you are aware that you can potentially over react in a confrontational situation why make that situation more confrontational than it need be. The guy was doing his job and as others have said there could be several reasons why he picked on you.
If you had calmly asked him to check the transaction the situation would have been diffused. Would you not have felt better? If you then thought that the guy had acted unprofessionally you would be able to make a complaint from a position of greater strength and maybe you wouldn’t feel as aggrieved as you do. |
Edited.
[Post edited 11 Mar 2020 13:31]
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:26 - Mar 11 with 2957 views | Swailsey |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:25 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
I'm not sure how being up front about my MH gives anyone the right to say something incredibly backwards and it be me in the wrong there I'm afraid. Unless you mean another post after the OP? |
What did he say that was backwards?
But also, if you're engaging with people who aren't close to MH struggles (I have no idea if they do or not, but as a general point), people are surely going to say things which aren't bang-on and are potentially insensitive. Surely the fact the follow up posts were clearly worded, sympathetic and calm should make up for that? | |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:29 - Mar 11 with 2942 views | SouthBucksBlue |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 12:15 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
I did, he wouldn't listen and was talking over me and didn't believe me.
Phrases like "just doing their job" doesn't justify it IMO. If anything it serves as an excuse for people being sh1tty. I could spend plenty of time ripping apart the work of other people I work with and be a tw@t about it but I don't. I'm considerate in how I approach things like that and believe it's part of my job/needed skill set to do so.
No one likes d1cks at work, whether you're a colleague or a customer. Perhaps years of being client/customer facing and experience/training gives me that outlook? [Post edited 11 Mar 2020 12:16]
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My points still stand. | | | |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:30 - Mar 11 with 2940 views | WarkTheWarkITFC |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:01 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
And there's your issue. Apparently I'm the one who won't listen though. LOLLERS. [Post edited 11 Mar 2020 13:02]
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For the sake of clarification, I have put forward my side of things in what I believe to be a fair and balanced manner and you've explained that you have a number of issues which we've debated.
Prior to exacerbating any angst, anxiety or upset that you may suffer from, which further discussion on this subject may cause you, I've ended it because I don't wish you any harm.
It's a case of nothing more. I either continue to disagree with someone who has expressed that they have mental health issues, something that will either have no effect on you or a detrimental effect, or I decide not to continue, in which case you've decided to suggest I have an issue.
My issue here is not wishing to upset someone I disagree with, who has previously left the forum because of things being overwhelming.
From my perspective, and I am allowed to have feelings also, it feels that If I argue with you I am making light of your mental health and if I agree with you I am being patronising. I am accused of having no understanding of mental health issues, without you having any knowledge of whether I do, on the basis that I have no specific knowledge of your own mental health issues, of which I have no reason to.
Despite disagreeing with you regularly on a number of things, I don't have any reason to want to see you come to harm or suffer any distress.
I hope this clarifies why I no longer wish to engage in this manner.
All the best. [Post edited 11 Mar 2020 13:35]
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:30 - Mar 11 with 2935 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:26 - Mar 11 by Swailsey |
What did he say that was backwards?
But also, if you're engaging with people who aren't close to MH struggles (I have no idea if they do or not, but as a general point), people are surely going to say things which aren't bang-on and are potentially insensitive. Surely the fact the follow up posts were clearly worded, sympathetic and calm should make up for that? |
I mean, if you think there's a clearly worded, sympathetic and calm way of writing 8 paragraphs to a stranger on a forum who disagrees with you slagging off every fibre of their being, we're quite different in that regard.
Not to mention his claims of what I said about "benefit scrongers" which is so far from my views it hurts. If he's going to pick me apart he could at least get his reference points correct. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:31 - Mar 11 with 2930 views | Swailsey |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:30 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
I mean, if you think there's a clearly worded, sympathetic and calm way of writing 8 paragraphs to a stranger on a forum who disagrees with you slagging off every fibre of their being, we're quite different in that regard.
Not to mention his claims of what I said about "benefit scrongers" which is so far from my views it hurts. If he's going to pick me apart he could at least get his reference points correct. |
Ok dude, I'm out too. | |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:31 - Mar 11 with 2930 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:29 - Mar 11 by SouthBucksBlue |
My points still stand. |
How? You've not really addressed anything I've said. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:33 - Mar 11 with 2916 views | Pecker |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:31 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
How? You've not really addressed anything I've said. |
Bl00dy hell Callis old fruit, let it go. You get yourself in these kind of disagreements far to often for your own good. Just let it go mate. |  | | |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:34 - Mar 11 with 2914 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:30 - Mar 11 by WarkTheWarkITFC |
For the sake of clarification, I have put forward my side of things in what I believe to be a fair and balanced manner and you've explained that you have a number of issues which we've debated.
Prior to exacerbating any angst, anxiety or upset that you may suffer from, which further discussion on this subject may cause you, I've ended it because I don't wish you any harm.
It's a case of nothing more. I either continue to disagree with someone who has expressed that they have mental health issues, something that will either have no effect on you or a detrimental effect, or I decide not to continue, in which case you've decided to suggest I have an issue.
My issue here is not wishing to upset someone I disagree with, who has previously left the forum because of things being overwhelming.
From my perspective, and I am allowed to have feelings also, it feels that If I argue with you I am making light of your mental health and if I agree with you I am being patronising. I am accused of having no understanding of mental health issues, without you having any knowledge of whether I do, on the basis that I have no specific knowledge of your own mental health issues, of which I have no reason to.
Despite disagreeing with you regularly on a number of things, I don't have any reason to want to see you come to harm or suffer any distress.
I hope this clarifies why I no longer wish to engage in this manner.
All the best. [Post edited 11 Mar 2020 13:35]
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My favourite part was your "fair and balanced" six paragraphs that decided to attack me personally for making the perfectly valid point that profiling innocent people as shoplifters and my views on the rail network in the UK aren't the same thing. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:35 - Mar 11 with 2903 views | monytowbray |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:33 - Mar 11 by Pecker |
Bl00dy hell Callis old fruit, let it go. You get yourself in these kind of disagreements far to often for your own good. Just let it go mate. |
You're not wrong.
I just fail to understand how AGAIN how me having an opinion and giving that opinion, or replying to counter arguments makes me ignorant or unwilling to be wrong also.
It gets a bit dull. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:39 - Mar 11 with 2882 views | Pecker |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:35 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
You're not wrong.
I just fail to understand how AGAIN how me having an opinion and giving that opinion, or replying to counter arguments makes me ignorant or unwilling to be wrong also.
It gets a bit dull. |
People are always going to have opinions and sometimes they are not easily said through text on a forum/phone etc. I am sure that nobody is being personal or wishing to be disrespectful in any way. Let them write what they want and move on. You are only getting yourself worked up. | | | |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:42 - Mar 11 with 2867 views | lowhouseblue |
great thread. |  |
| And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:43 - Mar 11 with 2866 views | Swailsey |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:35 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
You're not wrong.
I just fail to understand how AGAIN how me having an opinion and giving that opinion, or replying to counter arguments makes me ignorant or unwilling to be wrong also.
It gets a bit dull. |
I know I said I was out but f-it...
It's the way you respond. You do adopt a 'holier-than-thou' attitude towards a lot of things.
I know it can (stress: CAN) go hand-in-hand with the vegan/punk/XXX scene - there are others who move in similar circles/have same ideals too - (as well as being a result of having to justify yourself to others, which I get) but even if you perceive someone to have wronged you, unless they are being openly an asshole, is it really worth your time?
Surely there are bigger things to worry about and other things to occupy your time - like many of the good causes you rally against.
I know you do get targeted at times on here, but you also respond to pretty much everyone in the same aggressive, antagonistic manner. Hell, it gets my back up at times and I'm often in agreement with you!
Ultimately, if you're happy being you (and why shouldn't you be), then that's great - you be you. But if you're going to be so open about your causes, views, struggles and general disliking of a lot of things that people may do as standard (eat meat, work for a corporation, pay train charges), then you must learn to expect push-back on it.
Not everyone is as well-versed in the nuances of mental health and vegan life. Not everyone knows how to address these things. Most people are just trying to do their best and survive in a world that is increasingly sh*t. There are very few fundamentally bad people, compared to those who are just 'existing'
Take the moral high ground. There's no shame in just walking away is there? | |
| Who said: "Colin Healy made Cesc Fabregas look like Colin Healy"? | We miss you TLA |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:43 - Mar 11 with 2861 views | footers |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:42 - Mar 11 by lowhouseblue |
great thread. |
Must say it's turned out exactly as I thought on page 1. Well played, all. | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops (n/t) on 13:44 - Mar 11 with 2857 views | Marshalls_Mullet |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 12:01 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
How did you know I’m vegan?! |
[Post edited 11 Mar 2020 13:44]
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:44 - Mar 11 with 2855 views | Marshalls_Mullet |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 12:01 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
How did you know I’m vegan?! |
News to me! | |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:44 - Mar 11 with 2853 views | clive_baker |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:35 - Mar 11 by monytowbray |
You're not wrong.
I just fail to understand how AGAIN how me having an opinion and giving that opinion, or replying to counter arguments makes me ignorant or unwilling to be wrong also.
It gets a bit dull. |
I wouldn't worry about it Callis. At the end of the day, with the issue your OP was concerned with, definitely do complain if you feel you were dealt with unfairly. If you're just a bit miffed / offended / put out that it happened, but it was done so respectfully then probably don't bother. I would wager this guy doesn't LOVE his job and power, he's probably just doing it cause it earns him a crust and unfortunately there's a huge amount of theft from retailers.
With regards to the rest of this thread, I get the distinct feeling some people would disagree with you if you said the sky was blue. |  |
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| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:46 - Mar 11 with 2835 views | lowhouseblue |
| Getting stopped by security in shops on 13:44 - Mar 11 by clive_baker |
I wouldn't worry about it Callis. At the end of the day, with the issue your OP was concerned with, definitely do complain if you feel you were dealt with unfairly. If you're just a bit miffed / offended / put out that it happened, but it was done so respectfully then probably don't bother. I would wager this guy doesn't LOVE his job and power, he's probably just doing it cause it earns him a crust and unfortunately there's a huge amount of theft from retailers.
With regards to the rest of this thread, I get the distinct feeling some people would disagree with you if you said the sky was blue. |
it's definitely grey - just looked out of the window. | |
| And so as the loose-bowelled pigeon of time swoops low over the unsuspecting tourist of destiny, and the flatulent skunk of fate wanders into the air-conditioning system of eternity, I notice it's the end of the show |
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