| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! 17:32 - Dec 23 with 4251 views | StochesStotasBlewe |
What's the best "excuse" your partner has given you for not wanting a bit of how's your father?
Last evening, Mrs SSB and i spent the evening wrapping presents, then relaxed on the sofa with a few glasses of red. Watched some old comedy stuff on the telly box and were generally (i thought) getting in the mood.
Anyhoo, once in the warm snuggy bed with dimmed lights, my ardour was somewhat dampened with the words,
"Not now love, i changed the sheets earlier".
Should i consult Dear Dierdre? |  |
| We have no village green, or a shop.
It's very, very quiet.
I can walk to the pub. |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:36 - Dec 23 with 4197 views | WD19 |
To which the textbook answer is: “Don’t be daft, just get your knickers off or I will sh*t the bed instead”. |  | | |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:37 - Dec 23 with 4187 views | jeera |
"Get off me, I don't love you and I'm leaving you".
That one was quite decisive.
Others have been little less offensive, like "I'm too tired", that kinda thing. |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:39 - Dec 23 with 4148 views | jeera |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:36 - Dec 23 by WD19 |
To which the textbook answer is: “Don’t be daft, just get your knickers off or I will sh*t the bed instead”. |
How is the marriage counselling course going? | |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:40 - Dec 23 with 4144 views | StochesStotasBlewe |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:36 - Dec 23 by WD19 |
To which the textbook answer is: “Don’t be daft, just get your knickers off or I will sh*t the bed instead”. |
Who says romance is dead. I'll try that later. Many thanks. | |
| We have no village green, or a shop.
It's very, very quiet.
I can walk to the pub. |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:41 - Dec 23 with 4148 views | hype313 |
When you go to bed, hand her some Anadin, and when she says "whats that for?" You can say " your headache" she then replies "But I haven't got one" and bingo... |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:46 - Dec 23 with 4097 views | Chondzoresk |
No idea what you are on about. I’m married. |  | | |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:49 - Dec 23 with 4077 views | hoppy |
Sounds like you need Jeera’s Hermes delivery girl…
“I swear she doesn't stop until all demands are met.” |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:51 - Dec 23 with 4051 views | jeera |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:49 - Dec 23 by hoppy |
Sounds like you need Jeera’s Hermes delivery girl…
“I swear she doesn't stop until all demands are met.” |
I might have to go back and edit that. It doesn't quite scan how I quite intended!
Obviously I meant her work demands. I feel I've slighted her! | |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 18:36 - Dec 23 with 3821 views | BanksterDebtSlave |
That's the future right there Warky! |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 18:48 - Dec 23 with 3776 views | textbackup |
they are a complex strange breed them lot |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 18:56 - Dec 23 with 3753 views | NthQldITFC |
Not an excuse exactly, but I was once reduced to fits of helpless, and not very well received laughter, by the phrase "Well you can stop fiddling around with that for a start!" after I had been a naughty boy. |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 20:22 - Dec 23 with 3479 views | TheBlueGnu |
The best excuse my good lady came up with was that she couldn't help herself thinking about the actor Danny O'Dea who played Eli in Last of the Summer Wine. |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 20:38 - Dec 23 with 3414 views | Warkystache |
"You bastard, you've just written about me and our sex lives on a public website!" |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 08:54 - Dec 24 with 2845 views | StochesStotasBlewe |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:36 - Dec 23 by WD19 |
To which the textbook answer is: “Don’t be daft, just get your knickers off or I will sh*t the bed instead”. |
Cheers for your advice.
Will be spending the festive period in the shed nursing a very sore pair of bollox  | |
| We have no village green, or a shop.
It's very, very quiet.
I can walk to the pub. |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 10:08 - Dec 24 with 2754 views | NthQldITFC |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 08:54 - Dec 24 by StochesStotasBlewe |
Cheers for your advice.
Will be spending the festive period in the shed nursing a very sore pair of bollox |
Maybe you could leave them in the shed resting on a soft pillow to recuperate, and sneak back into the house to keep warm? Only make sure you haven't left the cat in the shed too. | |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 10:11 - Dec 24 with 2743 views | Deano69 |
Yep, clean sheets has been one for me too.
Just had my nails done, was another?? No idea where that was heading though... |  |
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| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 20:21 - Dec 24 with 2495 views | farkenhell |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 17:37 - Dec 23 by jeera |
"Get off me, I don't love you and I'm leaving you".
That one was quite decisive.
Others have been little less offensive, like "I'm too tired", that kinda thing. |
Hope you countered that first one with "I suppose a BJ's out of the question" or similar? | | | |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 20:25 - Dec 24 with 2487 views | Churchman |
You could get some rubber sheets for serviceability. That’s one excuse sorted! |  | | |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 20:33 - Dec 24 with 2458 views | Wakh |
The best excuse I got was a large question mark when I accidently text my Mother in law asking for a specific sex act. My wife - then girlfriend, had been flirting all afternoon while I was at work and her mother text me during the exchange about something else.
I soon changed her phone entry from Laura's mum to her actual name. | | | |
| Not Tonight, I've Got A Headache !!!! on 20:42 - Dec 24 with 2434 views | Kropotkin123 |
Sounds like you need to contribute more to the household chores!
Being honest, I'm the one who is more likely to give lame excuses. Long work days and more asexual than the average heterosexual man. |  |
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