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Parenthood 14:23 - Nov 7 with 2246 viewsBigManBlue

Recently found out that I'm going to be someone's old man in about six month's time. When is it acceptable to start playing commentary of old Ipswich games at night? How the hell are you actually supposed to talk to kids - more like a pet, or more like an adult? Which curry do babies like best? Any tips for not going entirely mental? Cheers in advance!

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Parenthood on 14:29 - Nov 7 with 1963 viewsTangledupin_Blue

Congratulations!

Just think...If it is a boy you can call him Boris

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Parenthood on 14:32 - Nov 7 with 1954 viewsfooters

Parenthood on 14:29 - Nov 7 by Tangledupin_Blue

Congratulations!

Just think...If it is a boy you can call him Boris


And Heidi if it's a girl, obviously.

footers QC - Prosecution Barrister, Hasketon Law Chambers
Poll: Battle of the breakfast potato... who wins?

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Parenthood on 14:34 - Nov 7 with 1943 viewsBigManBlue

Parenthood on 14:29 - Nov 7 by Tangledupin_Blue

Congratulations!

Just think...If it is a boy you can call him Boris


That's good, I was split between Jonathan and Douglas.

Poll: If Bart stays, who's no. 1?

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Parenthood on 14:36 - Nov 7 with 1937 viewsblueislander

Congratulations! Just a further step towards reaching that most felicitous state of being a grandparent.
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Parenthood on 14:37 - Nov 7 with 1927 viewsBigManBlue

Parenthood on 14:36 - Nov 7 by blueislander

Congratulations! Just a further step towards reaching that most felicitous state of being a grandparent.


Thanks! I have always thought I'd be an excellent mad old codger...

Poll: If Bart stays, who's no. 1?

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Parenthood on 14:40 - Nov 7 with 1909 viewschicoazul

Mazel tov!

Edited out by TWTD admin despite me having it for months without anyone crying about it
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Parenthood on 15:03 - Nov 7 with 1882 viewsC_HealyIsAPleasure

Congrats

On the second question, when my dear wife was pregnant she relayed some madcap advice that parents should talk to the baby in the womb so they get used to your voice, and then looked rather confused when I started yelling ‘HELLO!’ at her stomach

Also ‘Oh David McGoldrick’ was a good one to rock an infant to sleep to, sadly now out of date. Die Delia die probably not quite as appropriate

Enjoy

Highlighting crass stupidity since sometime around 2010
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Parenthood on 15:07 - Nov 7 with 1873 viewsWD19

Talk to kids!!??

I'd leave that until they are 14-16 years of age to be honest. Waste of time before then.
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Parenthood on 15:10 - Nov 7 with 1871 viewsfactual_blue

1. Immediately.
2. You don't talk to them at all until they leave boarding school at eighteen years of ago.
3. Chicken nappy masala.
4. If you're posting on here, you're already mental. But sleep as much as you can in the three months before the stork arrives.

Anyway congratulations. You'll soon have SmallManBlue, and proof that LittleFellaBlue is in working order.

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
Poll: Best birthdays of today
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Parenthood on 16:34 - Nov 7 with 1794 viewsMullet

I've had to make "kormas" and "butter chicken" for a while now, it ruins any attempt to have a proper curry at home completely. My advice is save curries for takeaways when you get the rare chance.

It seems shouting is bad. Roaring like you're in Monster Inc also causes tears for the first few months. You're also meant to use their name apparently.

Well done on your bits working, enjoy insomnia, feeling confused and your main purpose in life being as a walking cash machine and/or being shouted at.

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Parenthood on 17:27 - Nov 7 with 1740 viewsjeera

Congratulations mate.

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Parenthood on 17:32 - Nov 7 with 1725 viewswkj

Nice one mate, I am glad my advice worked out for you too!

Crybaby
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Parenthood on 17:37 - Nov 7 with 1698 viewsReuser_is_God

Parenthood on 15:03 - Nov 7 by C_HealyIsAPleasure

Congrats

On the second question, when my dear wife was pregnant she relayed some madcap advice that parents should talk to the baby in the womb so they get used to your voice, and then looked rather confused when I started yelling ‘HELLO!’ at her stomach

Also ‘Oh David McGoldrick’ was a good one to rock an infant to sleep to, sadly now out of date. Die Delia die probably not quite as appropriate

Enjoy


Especially if you’ve, for someone reason, named your child Delia.

Evans out
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Parenthood on 17:44 - Nov 7 with 1679 viewsjeera

Parenthood on 15:07 - Nov 7 by WD19

Talk to kids!!??

I'd leave that until they are 14-16 years of age to be honest. Waste of time before then.


14-16?

Like that's the age it works.

Poll: Xmas dinner: Yorkshires or not?

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Parenthood on 17:46 - Nov 7 with 1670 viewshoppy

Parenthood on 17:44 - Nov 7 by jeera

14-16?

Like that's the age it works.


Exactly what I was thinking. More likely to get grunts from them rather than words.

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Parenthood on 17:47 - Nov 7 with 1669 viewsfooters

Parenthood on 17:44 - Nov 7 by jeera

14-16?

Like that's the age it works.


It's the only way they'll learn...Here I am showing them Town under Hurst.


footers QC - Prosecution Barrister, Hasketon Law Chambers
Poll: Battle of the breakfast potato... who wins?

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Parenthood on 17:52 - Nov 7 with 1655 viewsjeera

Parenthood on 17:46 - Nov 7 by hoppy

Exactly what I was thinking. More likely to get grunts from them rather than words.


On a good day.

If you're lucky.

Poll: Xmas dinner: Yorkshires or not?

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Parenthood on 17:55 - Nov 7 with 1650 viewsSwansea_Blue

Congratulations buh.

Although commiserations on the end of your sex life, your freedom and regular sleeping patterns. On being awake at work or ever having a clean shirt ever again. You’ll be poorer, grumpier, scruffier and smellier (baby sic isn’t a good look). You’ll get fatter eating up all the leftovers, not having time to exercise and probably by being driven to drink. You can’t go out, go to nice restaurants or have such interesting holidays. You’ll get slacker at work, drop colleagues in the crap when you have to take last minute days off and somehow cover school holidays, and get overlooked for promotion.

There are a couple of days in the first 10 years when you remember it’s (possibly) all worth it though (unless it grows up to be a little sod, which is highly likely). Other than that it’s all good

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Parenthood on 18:02 - Nov 7 with 1635 viewsSwansea_Blue

Parenthood on 16:34 - Nov 7 by Mullet

I've had to make "kormas" and "butter chicken" for a while now, it ruins any attempt to have a proper curry at home completely. My advice is save curries for takeaways when you get the rare chance.

It seems shouting is bad. Roaring like you're in Monster Inc also causes tears for the first few months. You're also meant to use their name apparently.

Well done on your bits working, enjoy insomnia, feeling confused and your main purpose in life being as a walking cash machine and/or being shouted at.


Yes! I missed that off my list. Having to make ruddy Korma instead of something tasty. In hindsight reason enough for sterilisation alone.

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Parenthood on 18:12 - Nov 7 with 1619 viewsfactual_blue

Parenthood on 17:46 - Nov 7 by hoppy

Exactly what I was thinking. More likely to get grunts from them rather than words.



Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
Poll: Best birthdays of today
Blog: [Blog] The Shape We're In

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Parenthood on 18:13 - Nov 7 with 1617 viewsSpruceMoose

Parenthood on 18:12 - Nov 7 by factual_blue



How does this Nest cam footage of J2 keep getting leaked?!

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Parenthood on 18:14 - Nov 7 with 1614 viewsfactual_blue

Parenthood on 18:13 - Nov 7 by SpruceMoose

How does this Nest cam footage of J2 keep getting leaked?!


Or indeed why?

Ta neige, Acadie, fait des larmes au soleil
Poll: Best birthdays of today
Blog: [Blog] The Shape We're In

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Parenthood on 19:04 - Nov 7 with 1571 viewsMattinLondon

Congratulations- the first three months are a nightmare in terms of sleep but it’ll gradually get better after that. Well that’s unless your baby is a rubbish sleeper.

My top tip is to do as much stuff now before the arrival date. By this I mean the cinema or meals out as you’ll won’t be doing too much of that for a fair bit.

Just talk to them like how you think to yourself - I talked to mine all the time in supermarkets- it gets odd looks but it’s all about speech development.

Congratulations once again.
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Parenthood on 19:12 - Nov 7 with 1555 viewsDurovigutum

Tips?

Sleep now, for as long and as deeply as you can, for it will no longer be your friend.

Enjoy your wife, in the biblical sense, for you will go from being the most important thing in her world (unless you have a dog) to being second, but on 2% of her focus.

Tuck money away. These little humans are expensive.

Enjoy the children, change your life to allow yourself to enjoy them as you will blink and they'll be much older.
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Parenthood on 19:14 - Nov 7 with 1542 viewsxrayspecs

Parenthood on 15:07 - Nov 7 by WD19

Talk to kids!!??

I'd leave that until they are 14-16 years of age to be honest. Waste of time before then.


Still a waste of time aged 14-16.
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